not as happy as i wanna be

of course that is my choice, so wanna is relative, but then, that is beyond the scope of human understanding at this point in time, unless you've evolved, and that, my dear readers, is a very small audience... of course for all we know, that can be little more than an egocentric delusion, but then, what is life anyway if not something like that, aye?... there is a frustration about though, an underlying grumble of dissatisfaction with time and space, there no being enough of either to suit my appetities or desires or, dare i say it, needs... as if there was such a thing (another usually misunderstood concept, diaphragm, even, until the next huge wave of enlightenment that was sadly missed in the last leap back in the nineteen sixties), but then, summer only happens when it's raining and sayings only happen when we're saying... just saying, ya know?...

the back tightened up today and there is a hugely busy weekend of driving many hours and sitting on the grass watching a concert and the back really does not want that... long drive doesn't help either, but that's tomorrow and maybe by then the back will be fine... especially if i actually get a little sleep... but the bed or the recliner, which would be better for the back, i sort of semi-wonder... whenever, it's all in the mind... just proving nobody really cares again, another lost concept on the human race...

hungry too... but it's late and the extra weight on the belly will not help the back but, who cares, right?... ah, not i'm getting to the amusement of self-mockery and mish-mosh wah wah silliness... and you thought it was all some depressive episode, eh?... what's that they say, we've all got our crosses to bear, or something like that...

lol, lam, laa...

narf :)