when reason fails, delusion saves the day

with all due reverence to my russian girlfriend, my fading mila, heart-felt pleas for love and/or sanity, and the sidebar clues (not to mention the guide for hitchhikers and other aliens or even the random bloobs from ancient and modern blog family {and anyone else paying attention and not just to the right sidebar}, but we digress), in some frenzy of statistical madness, this oddly interesting stat (not to be confused with it's part two counterpart or even conducting a search through up the multitude of entries in this blog for the word oddly... or secret or secrets {where eerie music will play rather magically, or something like that}, for that matter) has more than 400 page views in this month alone (and the month is only two thirds passed) and that makes it (oddly) the most visited entry in the history of the more than 5,000 entries (i did mention multitude, if you recall) in this blog, which makes absolutely no sense to me at all at this time, but it is as it is and statistical anomalies are what make the world go round... love too, but numbers can be infinitely less volatile... oddly, even...

so anyway, perhaps even naturally, i added (and continue adding) random carefully considered linkage to the entry (and many entries, for that matter) just in case the statistical volume attracts the one or anyone with some modicum of brilliance and a sense of humor who might want to step into the maze and roam around aimlessly with me (or without me) for a while... life can be so much less lonely that way, even if it's all mostly imaginary... we all have our delusions (not to mention secrets aye?), after all...

like maybe i will link to something meaningful related to the title someday...

narf :)

oddly interesting stat part 2

apparently the united kingdom visited 75 times while i slept... and coincidence or not, this entry: oddly interesting stat was visited 75 times in the same time frame... the UK has visited most of any country in the past 24 hours... the U.S, Russia, Germany, Brazil, France Mexico Romania, Slovakia, and Indonesia round out the top ten visits or the same time frame... swo perhaps seo bots are attracted to key words like stat or stats or whatever else is in that entry that so enamoured someone in the U.K. today...

personally, i think you should spend more time letting the all the music (hundreds of songs if you click through) in this entry play with your psyche and emotions and sensitive bits and other flibbertigiblets, but then, that's just me...

now that's a suggestive link, aye?... well, maybe in cartoons... so what shall we make of the stats today?... for the moment, nothing... if i return, perhaps you will find more when you return... so mark it on your calendar to possibly return here at some later date and time to see if the possible return to add more actually occurred... not a complete mystery, but definitely a fun chorus, no doubt... or is that just me too?...

nyuk nyuk... lol... lam... narf :)

oddly interesting stat

i have no clue why you came here, but odds are... neither do you :)

here!... here!... ye too!... this one is on repeat, so click and see why why?

what?... so for some reason, while i slept, filling in the blanks was visited 10 times... the entries average 3-6 visits recently since the robots stopped visiting (must talk to bender about that cuz the average was 12-15 when they were fans), typically, was it the title?... the mention of syfy or the specific shows mentioned? (let's see, continuum, being human, lost girl, ncis, criminal minds, bones was what i watched, or at least had on in the background, yesterday... who knows)... anyway, welcome whomever or whatever you may be... do you love music too?... listen with me while you read and even better share what moves you and tell me what you think and feel :)

ah, life, the omniverse, and almost everything, aye?... it's all as superficial as we wanna be... but then the fact is (if you know) miracles can happen when truth and hope are the foundations of your faith... yeah...

the US, Germany, Romania, Russia, and the UK were the places visitors came from overnight (in that order of frequency)... isn't teleportation wonderful?... or time travel, even... not to mention moments of brilliance... anyway, yesterday Ukraine, China, Hong Kong, Canada, and France visited in addition to the other five countries... Ireland and Malaysia were around this week and month as well... Israel, Bali, Sweden, Iran, Japan, Latvia, Greece, Poland, Australia, Egypt, New Zealand, Italy, Columbia, and Azerbaijan too, perhaps... never can tell who might pop up next... others were too, but the stats only provide the top ten in number of visits... i wonder if Mila was here lol lam narf? :)

sometimes stats are oddly interesting and life is just silly, ya know? :)

just play the game

it is not that i attract selfish people, i just tolerate them longer than most so after a while, the selfish people are all that is left cuz they have driven away the unselfish people... probably why i should not stay at any one place for too long, so is eleven years too long, i wonder... was supposed to be off today but went in for a few hours cuz nobody else would... having jackson here was a wonderful change... we ate sushi and talked a bit, but mostly she caught up on sleep and reassured herself that she wanted to move back down here... the living space looks so different cuz i finally actually did pick up and clean up and that seems to be a good change... and so now, i relax after dinner with my game... if i am not past this game phase when she moves back down next month i'll probably get a new tv... oddly the old tv seems to have fixed itself somewhere along the way over the last couple of days as there is no longer wiggly lines at the top of the screen... anyway, i hope your holidays are fun too :)

not enough time

catching up on sleep is a food thing when there is time to do it (but music continues... need an easy way to put a music name/link in an entry... ah, myspace provides that, aye?... anyway, see the previous entry and we're still in the radiohead marathon)... i could probably use a week, or at least two consecutive days, but at least i did make this past 24 hours the catch up time and i did sleep most of the time - about 18 of the past 24 hours... and now, oddly, it is 6am and still dark outside... i thought the sun was up by now... maybe it is another seriously overcast morning... maybe my clocks are off... no tv, no internet, no radio, no phone, no way to check the time on this laptop, but then, why should the time on the laptop be wrong... it agrees with the stove... the body could use more sleep, definitely... the brain could use more, but it is so used to so much less than this...

need a lamp... actually, need several lamps, but the primary need is wherever i set up the computer... also need a lamp for... the bathroom cuz the exhaust fan is extremely loud and goes on automatically with the light, definitely not conducive to the quiet i like... and the kitchen, cuz the only light is a three bulb track light and they are those hot expensive flood light type lights... i like a bright kitchen... and flood lights throw off too much heat and not enough light... in fact, the only place i do not need my own lamps/lighting is the laundry room and closets... the living area has two lights, a three bulb hot track flood light strip at the doorway and a wobbly four bulb lamp attached to the ceiling fan (tacky typical gaudy look) and the wobbliness makes for a surreal slightly strobe lighting experience... so as i sit here in the dark at 6:27am, wondering where the sun is, there are definite lighting needs in this space... moments

missing rasputin

that is, rasputin is missing... just when you though today had enough entries, here comes another (the fourth?... fifth?... losing track... do they become less important when they are buried like this?) cuz, after all, thereal doesn't stop just cuz the entries have been uploaded, right?...

our concern is the whereabouts of one rasputin character, former roommate and father of precious, who has been out of contact since precious drove him home on tuesday evening... his phone, which is a work phone, has not been turned back on... perhaps it is broken after being turned off for the two weeks he was in the ukraine... but he has not contacted precious who is totally dependent on him for now and who is running out of funds, including credit, and has little gas in her car and rent due tomorrow (she has the $20 i gave her sunday and that's it)...

it's not like rasputin to be disappearing like this, so we are concerned... neither of us have the number of the family he is living with at the moment and he doesn't have a land-line extension at work to leave a message there... i will try to wake early enough to call his work tomorrow as i believe the office is open from 9-11am on saturday... that'll save me driving over after softball...

so there is a mystery inside this body and a mystery in the outside life as well... we hope neither is a halloween horror and will stay oddly amused until there is any real sign of reason for concern... i mean, it could be a halloween prank, after all... so i reassured precious that i'll talk to her tomorrow and we'll see about finding her dad...

happy halloween...

routine work

the routine work is reviewing incident reports and i had a pile to review so that filled the afternoon and just when i thought i was done and too bleary-eyed to see anymore, another stack was brought in to review... i left some for the morning when i am fresher and it is time to do some odds and ends and leave in about an hour... jackson texted a lot today... she was working from home... oddly, while she said she'd not be seeing sanford this week which is why she stayed over on sunday night (gone since thursday i think... happiness would remember better than me lol) and so far she had sanford over here monday, stopped by there yesterday, and she's spending the night there tonight... i hope she is taking care of her heart... and i hope she lets me know if she suddenly decides she's not renewing the lease with me (she said she definitely was just last week)... anyway, going home to take care of happiness again tonight... i am not raining on her fun, she deserves to be loved...

pack up and take the show home now, aye? :)

tomorrow

i wrote this entry yesterday, do dah, do dah... no really, i wrote this entry yesterday along with many others (so they are like sisters and brothers, right?) and i did not upload them yesterday (i wonder if i will tomorrow when tomorrow becomes today and this entry was written yesterday) all because this entry was left in the moment (that now that lingers at the entry point of a blog) for some reason or other (somewhere in my head)... not this one or (or is that nor) this one or even (or nor oddly) this one but indisputedly undoubtedly this one as mentioned here so there...

and if this entry and it's siblings remain unuploaded (such a word) tomorrow then this entry remains the day after tomorrow all because an entry two days ago wanted the spotlight (so is it worth it?... i mean, was it good for you?)... i wonder what happened today...

narf :)

back to yummy

that's what greeted us on our walk earlier tonight... unfortunately my 8mp cellphone camera did not do it justice and i will attempt to figure out why one of these days... i don't think the camera has a wider view like my erikson cellphone camera did... that was more of a camera than a phone, 2mp, and i ought to keep it charged to use as a phone if i can find it... took a video too, but couldn't send it, dumb smart phone... anyway, it was actually a double rainbow in front of clouds, wonderful sight...

did i mention that publix brand chocolate trinity is the best ice cream combination packaged commercially that i can remember?... oh yeah... and oddly, it went well with a wendy's frostie... especiallt since i was thirsty... and i still have code red for the night... oh yeah... sugar... caffeine... and most of all, chocolate... how i miss you guys when you are away...

so i pigged out a bit... not nearly as much as a dozen bacon cheese crystals with sides and shakes or a visit to just about any buffet, but burgers (do they even make single bacon cheeseburgers anymore?... nevermind, i won't be back at a fast food burger place for another few years... note the other place in the temporary ad to the right bringing us the current olympics medal count widget which will be gone in a few days was not even considered)... and happiness enjoyed a few extra walks and a bit of a run (his choice... i no longer expect him to run)...

in case this entry seems like a repeat of the last entry, well, it wasn't meant to... and it had a rainbow... the olympics coverage was semi-tolerable with the sound off and the evening was fun, all by myself when it came to human compassion fun, but fun nonetheless... i hope life is coming up rainbows for you too...

routine morning

thanks to Newman's Own Extra Bold coffee, it was a routine morning with plenty of work to do except it was not the usual morning as there were three other people in the office... catching up on the incident reports, which oddly, do not seem to be a priority for anyone even though they are the heart of the risk management program, but i shall continue to learn and fit in as the new department develops...

at least there is lots to do :)

busy entries

yeah, for whatever reason, key words, popular search words, oddly flavored spam bots, cosmic winds, alien incursions, who knows what attracts page views to certain entries, but it happens and these two are the high rises in hits (as in page views) this month for whatever reason... just in case you are interested in popularity by the numbers, even if it is not real... how many layers of potential meaninglessness are you wanting and/or willing to wander through, aye?... ah, the fun of the fair, or something like that... i miss being heard... interaction, anyone?...

how's it going out there in the world?... canada?... cali?... europe?... russia?... scandinavia?... you know you're out there... how about a status update?... even if it's the technical term harry chapin taught us (it sucks)... i really hope it doesn't suck for you, but even if it does, i really really really wanna know, ya know? (i mean, how can we be sure without some sharing, after all)...

in your world, you are how? :)

another night, sorta

nodding off in the chair most of the night until somewhere after daylight i found my way into bed and now, awake and heading out for softball in spite of a 60% chance for rain... maybe i'll wear cheap sneakers today instead of the cleats...

yesterday was oddly fun... missed the sushi lunch because i could not find the place (and it's a popular place that people mention all the time, but i've never been and seemed to block as i am told i drive around it... it's in a crowded outdoor mall and traffic was insane, so even four times around the loops didn't give me time to look hard enough)... a half hour past the lunch time i gave up and headed to find a costume for the night...

the mystery dinner was interesting, fun, but could have been more fun with more clever writing as many of us had minimal parts... i had hardly anything to do and i was supposed to be a huge part... i won richest and best costume awards for the evening, though i did not figure out who did it (i was focused on my part, which which was written to be oblivious to the goings on around me except to chase skirts)...

we ended early, as the previous entry noted, and then i sat here nodding off and we're back to the first paragraph of this entry... real time in thereal, ya know... so off to softball now and hope you have a fun weekend too :)

really bad movies

there's a new station among the digital tv stations i get with the new digital converter box i connected a few days from now (catching up on a week in one night makes for strange time references that i enjoy for the potential confusion they might present that becomes a puzzle for posterity, but that's beside the point) and there's no info on this channel so i'll look it up on the web one of these days but anyway, it's apparently a station that the science fiction 3000 club would love cuz there's a really bad black and white sci-fi movie complete with the obligatory human moralizing on at the moment and earlier there was a silent movie on so it's an old time station that shows really bad movies and shorts about whatever, like the really detailed visually descriptive first-person narrative philosophical short from the 1950's or 1940's, even, about what it is like to be and how to be a top notch janitor, or other oddities...

an odd week, i believe i might have mentioned that somewhere...

yeah, so anyway, i pigged out on italian tonight, which is actually several nights from not, based on date-time stamps, for what they are worth or matters, and mountain dew too... but that wasn't actually what i was going to say in this entry... tv can be quite distraction, like the infomercial for the dvd of the midnight special that would probably be oddly nostalgic to watch and listen to, which leads me to mention that another technological failure for this week (the same day, ironically, call if black sunday for tech, i supposed) was the digital converter box that the government paid for (you get what you pay for, once again) and wal-mart was not offering refunds and they no longer carry digital converter boxes so i am stuck with it and out the money unless i call the rca company to find out how to get them to stand behind their product that did not last half a year... yeah, so more american tech joins the parade of suckage this week...

so i bought the new converter box and it gets more stations more clearly, but it shrinks the aspect ratio of the pitcure so there's a black border which just makes me wonder all the more (as i did in the next entry or the one after that) why i stay in this over-priced place that has crappy tech service so maybe i'll get out of here before the end of the year which would be a nice holiday present to give myself...

what else is new? :)

fell asleep

once again i let myself fall asleep before craig, oddly just before craig was to come on as i recall seeing the midnight simpsons, which i recall as rather odd, but i do not remember why... was homer hallucinating or was i... ...

in any case, i woke early on my own, but slept nine hours or so, so i am almost refreshed... just a little sugar-chocolate-milk hangover, which is appropriate, i suppose, since the last thought and first thoughts on my mind were the simpsons...

they love each other, you know?...

computer glitches

ok then, that was disturbing... suddenly the chrome browser went wonky as if caught in some manic loop of page changing as if a back button was permanently depressed or something like that and i had no control over the mouse... a virus?... a hack?... i was on facebook and also had a dozen other windows open... was i noticed?... or was it something in the hardware failing?... but what in the hardware would make a browser window go nuts and then open a windows save box (it was then i was left to push the power button cuz access to me files seemed too close for comfort)... lost hours of links and typing... we'll curse the computer gods over that later... and then i ran my anti-virus scan and the computer shut down... and then i rebooted in safe mode and check the events log and found a kernel error... it said it might have been a power loss... and then booted in safe mode again and another sudden shut down... power supply burning out?... overheating cpu?... i did unplug and plug the power cord back in, so battery burnout?... i do keep the laptop plugged in constantly... the batter power says 100%, but sometimes they do burn out and can only hold a charge for a few seconds even from 100%... please no... please don't make me spend money now... thoughts... and then i booted into normal mode and ran the critical areas scan and no threats... and then i opened a notepad to type this and as i typed this, critical scan started again on it's own... microsoft update wants to update... the same four updates that failed last time windows wanted to update... microsoft failure is annoying because it wastes so much time for nothing... anyway, since i have not yet reconnected to the internet, that will be later...

ok, so the second critical scan comes up with no threats... i should probably run a full scan, but i don't want to wait an hour... foolish, i hope not... anyway, now reconnecting to the internet, fingers crossed it was not some hacker... and starting windows update, so still holding my breath about returning to browsing and facebook... update takes way too long... i will open a browser and test my blog sites and then the internet in general and then facebook after the update... and then maybe i will save and close everything and check out the battery... holding breath all the way...

meanwhile, happiness, the incredible farting dog, decided to come out here and sleep with me tonight... usually jackson closes her door so he sleeps in there, but he chose to come out here after i came out here a few hours ago after i had gone to bed a bit before that but found i was not sleepy enough to sleep after having slept several hours in the recliner where i am more comfortable these days because of the arm... in any case, he's been farting tonight more than i've ever smelled him fart before, lucky me...

and apparently, chrome opened to this blog window and the computer is allowing me to update here... oddly, chrome did not ask if i wanted to open the previous browsing session so it did not recognize it shut down improperly... anyway, uploading this...

more than a feeling

yup, it's more than a feeling, it's numbers... 565 page views, to be precise... the most page views in one day, i think... Dec 14, 2013... a day which will live in the land of forgotten dreams just like the other ones, or something like that... i don't recall the previous high page views and i think Dec 14, 2013 is the new record, but not remembering keeps certainty a bit apart from the whole knowing thing we do when we know things, like fer sure... so ncis finally replaced ziva, at least temporarily, as she's a peach... no, actually, she's an okie... and oddly, abbey is not missing a step, as if she doesn't even know she's replacing ziva... no hazing, no suspicion, no prove yourself to me or i won't trust you... very odd... out of character, even... and there's been no memorial for ziva downstairs, no photo montage on the wall, no mention at all... is that deliberate to get the audience to move on easier?... and what's this?... ben vereen?... the show intends on continuing to soar it seems... missing ziva doesn't help... i wonder why she left... she isn't saying... hope she stays fit and strong and healthy and cute and someday, we understand it all...

maybe it was the 565 page views...

narf :)

sleep me, s'il tu plait?

yeah, somebody needs to move in and put me to bed... but i really am enjoying craig ferguson too much and want to stay awake to listen to his oddly intelligent sense of humor... he mixes the absurd with good sense and daily news so well, i feel like i am almost listening to myself babbling... do i really love myself that much?... could be the laughter, aye?...

the two cans of pineapple in 100% juice spiked with pineapple syrup probably didn't help... though the sugar rush is slowly helping me nod off... so you missed another wild night of culinary trips and ridiculous mental associations and someday, when you find them, you may understand what you've been missing all your life... until then, you've got this...

nite nite :)

titles in the first lines

we coulda known and shoulda been and woulda too if we only knew and we wanted to too... if we were two...

now that woulda been a long and oddly interesting, obscurely profound, possibly intense title for anyone in or about a relationship that did not quite make it, or perhaps just a semantic play on the homonym to too two et tu, brutal, aye?... but as a wise woman once sang, weep no more for history...

we should all listen to wise women...

narf :)

what did you think i would do at this moment?

being an unnaturally born chameleon, what would you expect if fame and fortune ever did find these oddly shaped entries in this sprawling garden of words all over the internet (did i mention that i recently found a way back to the old world?... quite the excitement ensued and still does, in spite of the low energy) after all?... did you think i would crumble under the pressure?... succumb to the mold of desperate attention seeking to maintain a modicum of the momentary celebrity? (what?... i don't do enough attention seeking as a way of life as it is?... i mean, why should i stop the fun of self-mockery just because everybody else finally joined in, i mean, be logical for a moment if you dare... i know, i ask a lot)... give me anything, but promise me your heart... cuz that is where the real really starts... (e)thereal always knew...

so this is what happens when i take a day off (or try to) and sleep until ten (almost, with wake-up breaks through the night) in the recliner, whatever this is... is anobody out there?... well don't just nod, i can't see you after all... yes, what happens is a renewed desire to share and a devil-may-care way of reaching out for attention from the comfort of the brain where word play is therapy and fun all rolled into one... digesting years of stress and turmoil and clutter and disarry that comes from rushing through life taking care of others is not an easy thing to do in a couple of hours, after all...

narf :)

let's see about me

what?… you wanna know how I’m doing… and not just cuz I keep asking about you, but cuz you care about me and want to know… outstanding… so let’s see about me…

me, ironically, is (me is?… well, I am, anyway)… kind of an oddly familiar experience continuing to be too busy to just give myself the me time I so enjoy… though in most circumstances on a trip away from home I would find myself rambling on and rhyming and all sorts of inspired cuz new environments stimulate me, I have not had much time due to the social aspects of a business trip and even when I finally did get in last night, I found myself watching tv and really getting into a couple of shows bones and another (could have been any of a hundred decent shows) and really enjoying the escape into audio-visual fiction more than I have in many years, which is most likely due the fact that I have not watched a tv drama in about five months… the mental escape was a cool experience…

I was also tired (and am even more tired now) and just laying there falling into a story felt good… so while I don’t feel like hooking up a tv at home just yet, I do feel better about the whole tv experience now that I’ve been away from it for a while… I still see tvs at sports bars and other people’s houses, but the solitary intimacy (or even shared intimacy) of sitting or laying still and being absorbed through eyes and ears and the tube into a story has been absent (and as you might expect I now long for the sharing of the av experience that was once so much a wonderful part of relationships with friends and lovers… ah, yes, I remember it well {with a whistful smile and a inner chuckle and a starry-eyed sigh and all} so many things can be improved with the right person sharing :)

hope you find yours :)