it is not all a waste (nocturnal rhythms)

this blog and all the other blogs, i mean, and all words written, all the words posted to the web, all the time spent writing, no, it is not all a waste... even if no one has ever read some of the entries... even if no one ever read any of them (i know some have been read by a few)... even if all the millions of people writing me love letters are all in my mind when all the world is asleep (don't tell a person with nocturnal circadian rhythm they have insomnia just because the norm is to sleep at night... some don't, ya know?... conformity is not always the best thing for everyone, ya know?... mostly i find it all amusing and maybe i'll find someone who not only understands, but who can and will share) and i wake up...

to those who would debate i might have said:

those who wish to conform will find reasons to justify conformity... those who wish to be right will find citations supporting their point of view... those who need no external validation will simply be as they are... there is no right or wrong circadian rhythm, there is only your comfortable circadian rhythm... you do not need to justify living yours... just find the rhythm right for you enjoy it :)

and to those who are nocturnal i would say:

i appreciate others like you who understand the waves of energy that come after dark... these days i spend much time working during the day so i force myself to get some sleep during the nights... tonight i thought about this and realized i know no nocturnals these days and felt lonely for others who understand... so hello out there to anyone stopping by here... you are welcome in my world :)

meanwhile, i wonder (and sometimes lament) how many entries are missed, how many attempts to share who i am never find any connection and beyond loneliness, i wonder how i might reach you... you would love me if you really knew me, really you would (we may laugh, i know i do, but it's still true)... so i will continue with the hope that we do find each other someday and then, the belief that it is not all a waste will be more than a belief, it will become a dream come true...

until then, i'll just continue enjoying it all by myself :)