wish i knew craig

as in craig ferguson you see, cuz he and i would get along splendidly, at least, in a very manly way, of course, with all sorts of so many private jokes we'd have to start nudge nudging in a pub, no doubt... yes, few people would understand me as well as @craigyferg and all the people who every visited all the sites i saw over the years (a loosely disguised segue into mentioning that i just may finally update the long sleeping sites i saw blog that sorta keeps track of all the sites i saw as i wander the web which i don't do nearly as much as i used to since ncaa football from ea sports and jackson and happiness came home and i started getting older and needing more sleep cuz i am burning myself out at work and not exercising enough and eating kinda haphazardly, yeah, those were the good old days, nyuk, nyuk, narf...

but sex, it's all about sex in the end... well, not actually in the end (see what i did there?... craig did, and i won't even charge him for it), and love, love is everything... not that i would want to sleep with craig, but i probably would find more opportunities for sex with people i would actually want to sex with craig than i do buried in the working life, so i made this idle suggestion rather nonchalantly on the twitter and soon, retirement, or perhaps laughter... we do enjoy our pretenses of friendship with strangers we never met and i don't mean reading mail and tweets, i know...

so now, back to the uploading and enjoying the night... hope you are too :)

for the craigyferg

that is, not that this entry is for him, but that i stayed awake to watch him... on the couch, neck aching, i muddled through letterman and extra nodding in and out of consciousness because steven wright is scheduled on craigy ferguson tonight... and then he pushed a blogger off the stage... a vlogger, to be precise... he was opening well, circling the audience member doing pink floyd in reference to an interesting crayon and triangle dark side of the moon t-shirt the kid was wearing and then he does as he always does, asked him his name and he said keith jackson, which made me think of the sportscaster, but then when he asked for clarification the kid said he vlogged under another name and the moment the kid said that, craig pushed him off the stage... now it's not live, so craig was making a point to say do not advertise your online name on the show... which is very odd and off-putting since craig's online presence on twitter is very much part of his act...

i was distracted by that and hardly paid attention to the monologue, so found little or nothing amusing, and actually felt somewhat annoyed... this tainted the entire show for me which is sad, because steven and craig are two of my favorite irreverent humans... craig even seemed to have steven off his game a bit... geoff was having the best night of the three of them... sad, the first show i left without a big smile...

show biz... close eyes, sleep now...

do you enjoy craig ferguson?

much of his humor is aimed at those who are titillated by sexual innuendo and some might consider his style sophomoric or immature, completely devoid of any redeeming qualities that would appeal to an intelligent adult, but luckily i don't have that sort of pole up my ass... there are moments when his references might fly right over the head of his audience as his time slot has typically been the gathering ground of quasi-intellectual pot-heads (tom snyder fans, anyone?) still awake after the saturday night live crowd pass out... and perhaps my amusement with his meanderings is partially based in my own egocentric self-mockery (do we have similar styles?... i am not the one to judge from the inside) and irreverent fringe associations relate...

anyway, mila kunis?... craig went on a trip with mila?... i think i just had a double orgasm... i mean here i am sitting here innocently praising and quasi-qorshipping craig and regis philbin mentions mila kunis?... excuse me, i've got to wash my hands now...

i mean lisa bell is seriously cute (though she was cuter when she was eager to please than she is as a confident anchor... still attractive, though she looks like she can put on the pounds easily like most of us, aye?... i know, silly of me to criticize someone i'd love to play with but hey, i am living on the edge, no doubt... i love her nose... i don't love too many noses, for whatever that's worth... i seem to have wandered off on a tangent, huh?), but mila?... talk about irreverence... or my russian girlfriend... oh, but mila knows how libbo feels about her... and that i ain't too proud to beg, either... of course lol lam :)

i blame craig ferguson... and the robot... and of course, my penis... but seriously, so anyway, if you are local, you should not miss the last three entries...

whatever, right? :)

sleep sometime, will ya?

the thing about spotify is that it consumes huge cpu energy and memory and slows the computer down a lot so it may be great when just listening to music or making a playlist but when there are dozens of other tabs open it is not an advantageous thing to use... and someday i'll check whether that is just a chrome thing... yes, i am still using chrome, though i am not nearly as attached to it as i was before realizing earlier this week that it will not play music files easily or correctly or politely or something like that...

see on the right a new message for us, ioi?... and besides, this entry had some purpose before i continued exploring spotify and had more to say and asided it (it being this entry) into a tangential apogee juxtaposed on fruit salad or the fourth hair on craig fergusen's left testicle... that's ridiculous, of course... craig shaves, after all...

there's been a lot of seriousness this week... i mean, almost deep thoughts, but jack handey was not available... neither was the girl from the liquid plumber double impact commercial who really liked it deep, or the two millas and a few others, but the tv doesn't change the fact that sex is not the solution to everything, just most everything after midnight... after all, who wants to fight with sweden?... when you figure out what this entry was supposed to be about, feel free to let me know... until then, play fair... in fact, play good... and if you're really good, play fucking fantastic...

if you were just offended, blame google for not having a flag and fruity word to bleep out the evil words... no wonder craig has his own show... better yet, join us and make love to the world...

narf...

oh silly, read both

read me, read me (click here) and click through the links inside

no no, read and click through on the links in this one

silly puppy, all the secrets of the universe (or maybe mostly to me) are contained within the links within the entries within the blogs within the interweb, especially the entries linked in this entry and the entries linked in the entries linked in this entry and (did you notice any entries linked in this entry yet?... i know, i can be so subtle it's baffling... probably because it's craig ferguson's birthday... even if mila kunis isn't on)...

so i just must have known, having said just a few hours ago, "no harpo, i don't want to come over and hold your leg tonight" and i had no clue that i would be watching craig (without mila, i know) celebrate his birthday with the william of shatner (shat what?... shat where?) because i've already seen the other stuff that was on and i somehow checked the listings and found it was minutes away from the start of craig (so i saw a bit of one of the hottest smiles and cutest faces and sweetest bodies {feel free to rearrange the adjectives as you wish} on tv on extra... and maria is cute too... see what i did there?... seriously, maria, i'd hold your leg if you came over)...

what?... who?... where?... when?... (don't ask why)... (or how)... ok, this entry will hold our place until i get back and catch up a bit, maybe even babble... even without mila... or maria... wandering away now before i start singing west side story.. tonight?...

whut?... oh narf already :)

tv choices

so they did another sex survey and my, how things have changed... or not... the real question is have people become any more honest in their answers to sex surveys... and then there's the question of who was asked, where they lived, with whom, and what motivation did they have to participate... among many other uncontrollable variables... the bottom line with any sex survey can be summed up like this... you can accurately measure the length, width, and girth of a penis, but you cannot accurately measure how it is used... people lie during sex, so people will lie about sex...

so the choice is to continue watching the tv show about the new indiana university sex survey or the craig ferguson show, which is a whole other form of sex survey i suppose... richie sambora leading a house band?... craig never had a house band, that is reason enough to watch... then seth machfarlane and somebody else is on... i am such a seth fan, i shall read about the sex survey and watch craig's show... reading that the sex survey was published in 2010 with facts, even confirms i made the right decision... how could i have missed it lol... obviously i am not all that impressed or confident in the veracity or reliability... besides, i am waiting for the university of missouri to do a sex survey because they will not just ask about sex, they will require demonstrations they can video tape... get it, missouri is the show me state, right?... snark :)

meanwhile, the fun has only just begun :)

just had to be (repeated, that is)

read me, read me (click here) and click through the links inside

no no, read and click through on the links in this one
it just continues

a dozen new entries passed in the past few moments... catch them before they disappear... cuz they could, like everything, there is transience in this temporary existence... so think, feel, click back to catch up, read, and continue...

silly puppy, all the secrets of the universe (or maybe mostly to me) are contained within the links within the entries within the blogs within the interweb, especially the entries linked in this entry and the entries linked in the entries linked in this entry and (did you notice any entries linked in this entry yet?... i know, i can be so subtle it's baffling... probably because it's craig ferguson's birthday... even if mila kunis isn't on)...

so i just must have known, having said just a few hours ago, "no harpo, i don't want to come over and hold your leg tonight" and i had no clue that i would be watching craig (without mila, i know) celebrate his birthday with the william of shatner (shat what?... shat where?) because i've already seen the other stuff that was on and i somehow checked the listings and found it was minutes away from the start of craig (so i saw a bit of one of the hottest smiles and cutest faces and sweetest bodies {feel free to rearrange the adjectives as you wish} on tv on extra... and maria is cute too... see what i did there?... seriously, maria, i'd hold your leg if you came over)...

what?... who?... where?... when?... (don't ask why)... (or how)... ok, this entry will hold our place until i get back and catch up a bit, maybe even babble... even without mila... or maria... wandering away now before i start singing west side story.. tonight?...

whut?... oh narf already :)

see what i mean? (maybe... i think?)...

a 4am entry, no doubt... worth repeating, i think... if you don't like the music, turn it off... so maybe the entries have been superficial and trivial of late... definitely some... definitely not others, but who can tell with my love of secret obscurities and buried links and such... mostly i'd rather enjoy myself than lament over missing sharing and missing music and missing people who share intimacy through lyrical magic and eye contact and all the fun of the fairs, or something like that... loving music saves me (saved by the music, remember me, my friend?)... i listen to the mixes (this one auto-plays, just so you know) people have made for me (and other random music i find that touches me) and those i made that i can still access (missing those, like the stolen child, kept out of my reach so far away)... and even though the people who made the mixes do not share what they shared anymore (or maybe they never really listened to the words) and nobody around here shares musical meanings and messages the way they can be shared (the way i do), the bliss can still be found inside... so life outside stays the shallows mostly... but deep down, you know why i really come here...

listening to the song above? (or here... there's always hope)... how many times has the chorus been asked of me, more than i can count... so narf... and lol... and lam... and really? (with apologies for myspace commercials)... yup, secrets and sighs :)

after all, somebody might wave back :)

click to listen to another song about why i am here

it could have been babble

or not, but be that may be or not to be, the question remains even more elusive than the answer, because, after all, while we can’t see the wind, we usually know where it is cuz, well, we can feel it, but the question, who can feel the question?...

the yearning?... the burning?... the churning of desire?... what could it be?... who could it be now?... hunk a hunk a what?... between your legs?... just where is your locus of control, anyway?... blowing in the what?... you must remember this, or something… a big snake does not make you a big man, but what’s in your cup, that might matter a bit more… when was the last time you sat around with friends (or strangers) and really got into music?... playing or singing or making love, even, really into it…

you haven’t lived until you as born again in song…

someday, that may be a religious epiphany, unless people get smarter and open their minds more… there’s always hope… meanwhile, this is the story, continuing, cuz stories are like that (at least in my mind they are)… and with a 22 inch monitor to my right and a 24 inch monitor to my left and a 16 inch monitor on my lap, don’t let anybody tell you size doesn’t matter… but 16 inches on a lap is quite enough, thank you very much… speaking visually, the crispness of the true HDMI 24 inch monitor is startling, even with the lame windows vista aero crappy video features (why do they downgrade features when they upgrade software, now that is a good question… not the question, but a good one…

so this is (if you’re counting) the second file in the new electronic space (new laptop, not new blog, but the latter is rather obvious, no doubt) and the laptop teaches me a bit more about what it and the new MS Word 2007 software is about… and the little kid is all excited, naturally, cuz there are all sorts of new toys (or features, to be technical) to explore and learn about and play with… if only there was time… sigh and alas…and what I need to do, among many other tasks, is to either… (task sub-routine 1) enter every cd into a database or spreadsheet…(task sub-routine 2) install itunes and rip every cd I own… or (task sub-routine 3) rip every cd into windows media… of course they might be 10, 20, and 30, but that’s beside the point, perhaps… anyway, the trouble with the last idea is the database in wmp is not as easily managed as the database in itunes (wmp is kinda wimpy too, it seems) and it would not tell me it has duplicates until after I rip and it would take a long time and it would use a lot of memory… the trouble with the second idea is the same as the third idea except for the database being better manageable than the third idea… the trouble with the first idea is it is manual entry and takes time and I do not get all of the information about each cd… ideally, a scanner would be wonderful… to scan all the info into a database would give the best of both worlds… but without a scanner, the database seems the way to go… and so away I went…

meanwhile, back in thereal… I am noticing looseness in the usb ports already and I hardly plug in and unplug the usb connections, so the life of the port is quite possibly going to be way shorter than I’d like it to be… that could definitely suck… does any laptop brand prevent that from happening?...

and the anti-virus has been uploading for the past three hours… something like 7kps… to yes, I know (and not an amused craig ferguson I know, either… I still haven’t been able update the operating system cuz the file is too big… I haven’t had time to get back with the microsoft tech support person who emailed me… yes, an actually tech support person from ms emailed me… I was shocked (and this is a craig I know... amazing, aye?... I know… anyway, I keep hoping the aircard will find better reception if I actually go mobile with it… but there’s just not been anought time for leisurely roaming with the laptop… or writing… or much of anything else leisure… but 7kps?... so I will say it again… att aircard internet service sucks…

I’d sigh and alas some more, but who has the time…

this is what was, sort of, as I was slipping into game mode… and I disappeared for two plus weeks and the story continued, even if nobody noticed but me… it is still wonderful to find someone stopping by the check in from time to time… as if we really care, you know?... who has the time?... ah, a question… who’s laughing now? :)

yeah, still awake

it's not late, after all... at least not for me, though i have been going to sleep earlier and earlier as these years of working day shift with an 8am meeting to get to every day has been taking it's tool on the nocturnal rhythms... i am enjoying herring in sour cream and onions as a midnight snack... i know, high fat, saturrated no less, and cholesterol, and sodium... my blood pressure is probably a zillion over a half zillion, at least... but that's ok, i'm not too worried until it gets up to a gazillion over a zillion, then it could be trouble... a heart attack waiting to happen... but i'll probably stroke first... then live another sixty years as a vegetable in a state institution... end my days being a burden on the taxpayers... that'll serve em right... or me, that'll serve me right... sigh and all...

and here i've got sushi lunch and big dinner pparty plans for tomorrow, aye... so me and craig ferguson will burn the after midnight oil (and fish oil, while we're at it) with whomever he has on because there is absolutely no reason to have a tv unless you've tgot cable and even then, it's extremely hit and miss... actually, craig is strange enough to amuse me... maybe it's been the full moon this week... whatever it is... serious bloat tonight... should have just gone to bed when i got home... wonder when this ridiculously extreme self-indulgence is gonna wane so i can return to the other great feeling of really taking care of this body...

maybe i ought to go back to singing lonely songs...

ah, for someone to laugh with :)

another fun night

A Fish Called Wanda was fun in a theatre, though i got a sense of PC (as in uptight snooty political correctness) at some points... people can get way too serious about entertainment and comedy, really... but i had fun even without sex...

i met five people i knew there so there were some people to talk to and i caught up with a friend i haven't seen in a few weeks (he's got a semi-stalker who does not seem to be accepting that the relationship of a few weeks never really worked and she keeps texting him day after day, even at the movie... once again i am reminded why i am not all that interested in human relationships these days, i mean, beyond friends... some humans can be friends, but emotional stability for a deeper intimacy is rare... alas, alone again, naturally... nyuk and all)...

meanwhile, craig has started tweeting... look out internet, the master of one line irreverence and is finally gonna be in his element... his head might explode... or the twitter servers... they were overloaded during the craig show tonight... coincidence?... ah, the genius maybe someday be discovered by the masses, but can they handle him?... he'd like that, though his wife might have issues with, well, nevermind... time will tell, acha know...

any day now, that change just might come, aye? :)

narf and all :)

comedic minds

craig fergusen amuses me as much as any tv talk show person ever has, there, it's been declared... his humor is appealing on many levels and so, i appreciate the times i stay awake watching him... hopefully he and his show will survive the solstice... and hopefully, if they offer him letterman's time slot when letterman retires, he doesn't shrivel up and die of corporate conformity like all the others who moved into the 11:30 time slot have done... stay perverse, diverse, and ever so irreverent or die (how's that for a licence plate motto?)...

the midnight jog with happiness a little earlier helped the neck a bit and craig helped the loneliness a bit cuz laughter reminds me that i need no one, no matter how much i want someone... this week is getting way too serious, aye?...

well i just found two new episodes of fringe on hd prime time on demand so it's time to grab some snacks and lose myself in another world... even though i want someone who can share the mind expanding concepts and hugs and cuddles and kisses and more, or at least the hugs and mind, my mind shall provide a wonderful couple of hours becoming part of the story... i mean, no cheerleader, but... i would really love to meet and get to know the host of the prime time on demand segments...

hope you find yours wherever you can too :)

fell asleep

once again i let myself fall asleep before craig, oddly just before craig was to come on as i recall seeing the midnight simpsons, which i recall as rather odd, but i do not remember why... was homer hallucinating or was i... ...

in any case, i woke early on my own, but slept nine hours or so, so i am almost refreshed... just a little sugar-chocolate-milk hangover, which is appropriate, i suppose, since the last thought and first thoughts on my mind were the simpsons...

they love each other, you know?...

late late night

as in craig ferguson, or @craigyferg in twitterese... he is sometimes the best thing on television and even when he is not, he is like an old friend making inside jokes that amuse, no matter how bad they might be... and too often, especially on work nights, i find myself bleary-eyed in the morning because i hung out late late night with craig and his various imaginary friends...

i really should be sleeping :)

still awake?

must be crazy, still, after all... ah yes, but the internet is such a sly seductress, isn't it?... it is amazing how many people in this world have the same names... first and last names, hundreds pop up on facebook and that's just a small part of the whole world, right?...

do you ever think, late at night when you are using your best internet search skills to find those few people you lost touch with along the way that they are actually hiding from you?... i know... but that would be paranoid, wouldn't it... and if you really thought that they were deliberately living their lives in hiding from you meaning you were really paranoid, maybe they should be hiding from you...

i know...

yes, the craig ferguson sarcastic irreverent seriousness syndrome is in effect... SISS is nothing to sneeze at... but laugh, yes, it is something to laugh at... carry on craig...

i know...

nyuk :)

blurry head

another day of work (on call weekends keep me running running running and eating almost to my heart's content (with gallons of caffeinated beverages) certainly does not help as the extra food just makes the body work harder to digest and process and store and then, the extra pounds just make the body work harder to move, every movement, and then, the night after night playing ball or going to parties or simply staying up to watch craig, yes, craig is my secret lover drinking me to drink power shakes in the middle of the night when i really ought to be sleeping (as it was in the beginning, so goes the night, yes, one long night, of this life)...

just look at the date, for crying out loud, it's amazing i've been so sane for so long... please, take care of yourself... and your children... for the night has no mercy on lovers who give up on love...

quark...

and now, no secrets

maybe... there is a theory of secrets of course that claims that secrets increase interest and attention because people like to explore secrets kind of like people slow down and hang their necks out the window when driving past an accident and their reduction in speed is directly correlated inversely to the amount of smashed metal and broken glass and red puddles visible on the ground, so perhaps there will be secrets after all because i am an attention whore deep down, after all...

it probably has nothing to do with the fact that the once in a millennium 12/12/12 occurred recently nor does it have anything to do with craig ferguson getting a golden globe nomination or even barbara walters ridiculous (or most fascinating, from a clinical and/or sociological standpoint) choices for most fascinating people... no wonder she wouldn't go on the view, whatever that is (as if there is only one view, aye?...

we still don't have a christmas tree up... craig has a couple or few on his set and he doesn't even live there... it's probably because jackson isn't here enough and she doesn't love me anymore (worms, worms, he's calling for the worms... and send in the clowns too), or maybe it's just that we are trying not to spend money and she won't be here for christmas and she knows i am relatively ambivalent about the whole holiday season as i am about most human rituals... but i love it when someone cares enough about me and respects and trusts me to share theirs and want me to be part of it...

i have hardly moved my arm this week, after all...

don't hate me cuz i'm ambivalent :}

gotta love words

ya never know lol... i suppose the more stats you have, the more you wonder (and if you are like me, the more you play with numbers just cuz you love playing with numbers, but that's besides the point if the point is getting to the bottom of the reason for the increased visits to tis obscure little blog, aye?)... looking at the search key words for the referring sites, i can thank the effervescent craig ferguson for two dozen of the extra visits as two searches, rotterdam bugler and dildo windybottom accounted for at least twenty-four searches this week... scary what we search for, isn't it? lol... anyway, thanks for the new visitors...

but craig, be true to your roots... shouldn't it be dildo macwindybottom?...


hey new visitor, yeah you - what's going on in your life?

well that was exciting

and will be quite painful in the morning... and probably the most powerful sign and message that it is time to re-negotiate my lifestyle and habits with myself quite immediately, though it may not be done as immediately as it ought to be... see, in my rush to get the laundry out of the dryer so the next load can get into the dryer so it wouldn't wrinkle more than it already had in the time it sat waiting for me to remember i was doing laundry (finally) so i could make it to the tv in time to see the opening of craig's show (cuz it's vital to the continued peace on earth and good will toward men and women too that i actually witness the opening of craig's show, even though it may be ridiculously pointless to risk life and limb to get in front of the tv when the show is a rerun, but that's besides the point), i slipped on a dryer sheet that i neglect to pick up regularly out of sheer laziness and perhaps some sort of depression or at least apathy and ambivalence on some level (and pondering the possibility of actually breaking a hip and laying naked and motionless in agonizing pain for days until someone came over cuz i didn't show up for work for a week and someone finally decided to call the police to check on me or something and sadder still that if might taken longer due to the holidays, not to mention the awkwardness there would inevitably be due to the nudity) and fell quite profoundly hard to the floor...

really quite profoundly hard...

seriously, ouch...

hard floor too, being a fake tile substance in the kitchen... i don't think i broke anything, though i have a very high tolerance for pain and the three specific areas of concern that struck the floor quite severely may just be too numb to determine the actual extent of the injury with great accuracy, but hoping nothing was borken i must reflect that it is a combination of luck, seriously strong bones, and amazing reflexes that surprised me as i landed on my right firearm/elnow flat enough to the power of the blow was distributed along the entire forearm and therein hopefully did not strike with enough force to break anything and thn there's the right knee, which has been taking a beating this past year in softball and did not need to be part of this exciting event, but i am still thinking nothing is broken, however i am probably quite accurate in assessing that this will be quite painful in the morning...

yes, there is a modicum of swelling and discoloration already, being the slippage occurred only ten minutes ago, so i would advise myself to put ice on it if i was going to take my advise... holding ice to three different places is such a chore though, aye?... hurt less and heal faster if i keep the swelling down, sure sure, but there is work in the morning and i really ought to get the laumdry done so i can get some sleep..

where's my nurse, anyway?...

alas, alone sucks sometimes...

so anyway, i hope your night was just as exciting, though a whole lot less painful :)

football, craig, and whatever

the tv offered football and craig ferguson and whatever and it played in the background and the internet offered all sorts of articles to read and comments to leave (i still forget to cut and paste links to those comments so we might share here or at least for posterity here and i am so far behind the sites i saw that this link is, well, so far behind for the moment {maybe that's a weekend project this weekend} so anyway, yeah)... so that's where i've been for the evening and night just passing and sleep should definitely be my next move as i've nodded a few times and definitely feel the body and mind begging now...

so nite nite :)

mila kunis

yes, an entry simply to say i adore mila kunis... first attraction is her sense of humor and social intelligence... fantasy?... she can prove me wrong if she wants... and then there's her appearance (the obvious)... she is just physically so right, so adorable, so attractive to me on so many levels... not just libido... and not just in tv shows or movies... it's when she is just herself on camera that i like her most... it's the way she moves and her posture and the way she interacts physically with others in interviews... the way she walks and talks with people... the way she looks at people in a conversation... the way her eyes move, the way she smiles and laughs and the way she talks (most of the time)... i like the way her lips move when she drinks... and i believe i could so easily get lost in her eyes... so while she can easily be a libbo fantasy, she is attractive on so many other levels and in so many other ways that i just enjoy watching and listening to her without any direct sexual thoughts... even when she doesn't move libido, she inspires serious laughter and an innocent attentiveness... i sense i love her sense of humor, seriously... the infant in me is drawn to her voice...

maybe she is always "on" when the camera is rolling (in which case she's amazing) or maybe she is just so comfortable with herself that she understands the secret to life, love, and everything (especially involving human interactions) is just being real... sometimes you just get the feeling about someone just by watching them in casual moments that they would be a great friend based on personality compatibility... she is one of the most appealing humans i've ever observed to my mind... and all (ok, most of) this was inspired by watching her for a few minutes the past night or few on craig ferguson... that helps her attractiveness cuz craig is another person who attracts me on many levels, sense of humor a wit most... but between the two, if i was a puppy, i would want to be mila's puppy...

what, you want more explanation? lol lam :)