stress raises blood pressure

stressing over running out of blood pressure medication is what?... ironic?... sardonic?... stupid?... yeah, well, i may need a new doctor again... the doctor who put me on the blood pressure medication has once again failed to respond to the pharmacy that requested a faxed refill order so i am out of blood pressure medication tomorrow and i can't reach anyone at the doctor's office until tomorrow and must find time at work to do that... what usually happens at work is that i forget to eat, no less remember to make personal calls or do anything not work related... it's a wonder i remember to take the damn pills i never wanted to be on but was talked into it before i realized it becomes a physical addiction and the body rebounds to higher blood pressure levels if you stop the medications... when i confronted my last doctor about her continued recommendations to put me on more and more medications, she told me her legal department advised her to drop me as a patient... so i went off the blood pressure meds for a few years and returned to them this year because 200+ over 100+ is not a good blood pressure to walk around with for years... and now, for the fourth or more times, i am stressing over running out of the medication...

the pharmacy auto-called me last thursday to say my medication was due for refill and i should press the number one if i wanted the refill, as if i have a choice anymore... i pressed number one and the recording said my prescription will be ready sunday... a prescription that takes fifteen minutes will take four days due to the automated system?... anyway, i went to pick up the prescription and the pharmacist said they did not hear back from the doctor and there is a no refill order on my prescription for blood pressure medication... fuck you medical profession... get the body addicted to a drug that risks death if i stop taking it and then prevent me from taking it by not refilling the prescription... seems unethical, but it forces me to pay the doctor more money to monitor my medication which naturally is not working because i am stressed and not taking the meds because the prescription ran out... definitely wrong, probably legal... i see why people become or go to lawyers...

i've got a very early day tomorrow and this will be keeping me awake tonight...