nothing to do on holidays

not that mother or father's days are holidays in the time off from works sense, but being that they are scheduled on sundays many people who do work are off from work (and considering how many people do not work, though there are far fewer housewives or househusbands these days than there used to be since there is a much much smaller percentage of people who can afford to be in single-income households, but that's beside the point as is so many important facts and figures), there is a certain sadness that comes from a certain loneliness that can creep up on one or the other parental holidays, especially for parents who have long wached their offspring leave their nest, but even for people who never created or adopted kids along the way on this life journey... i received a happy dad's day text this morning about 7am while i was still fast asleep which reminded me it was father's day out there in the world beyond my imagination (where every day is an all-inclusive holiday celebrating being alive) and this entry rolled out all these hours later as i smile whistfully and realize there is no softball practice or games scheduled for today, so i can do whetever i want and what i am choosing to do, so far, is hang out home alone with words and music... doing this once a week has become a treat and rest i so enjoy, even loneliness doesn't overpower the feeling of simply solitary pleasure...

fact is, i often have nothing to do on holidays because i don't celebrate as others do and don't enjoy the pretense or escapes or delusions most people buy into in so many ways... i'd rather be playing softball or running a 5k or playing some other game, enjoying life without the pretense that we need a reason to get together to simply enjoy life... i see the weak egos desperate for applause and attention and it is an unpleasant feeling to realize i do not relate to that mindset which just increases loneliness instead of decreasing it, so i prefer to be by myself in my own world where i can choose the pretenses and escapes and delusions that satisfy me...

may you enjoy your holidays as much as i enjoy mine :)