i often thought robins williams was a genius, but alas, he was not as smart as i thought... 8,059,082 facebook likes were not enough... i can make awonderful moment out of one like of anything i might write... a man with so much imagination could not fight his way out of the paper bag of depression... it makes no sense to me... do i misunderstand, or am i misunderstood... to know the feeling of aloneness that is way beyond loneliness, to know the feeling of despair that is way beyond than depression, to know the feeling of isolation that is way beyond anything that makes sense, rational thought must be extruded from consciousness, reason must be buried by delusion and lies, and intelligence must be overwhelmed by stupidity... suicide is an act of stupidity, especially for someone so adored and treasured by so many near and far... a chemical imbalance?... maybe... but which comes first, the stupid thinking or the chemistry?... someday, maybe science will attempt to believe an answer... for now, it is just a mind choosing to be blind, a body choosing to give up, a warrior choosing to fall on his sword... and millions cry over the act... but no one, nothing was enough to stop it... whatever the thought process that lead to the choice, it makes no sense to me... maybe it would make sense if i knew more... anything is possible...
but to be in a mind that no one can keep up with and still want to share can be a longing too painful to bear... and so who wrote the lines he read?...
“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” from "World's Greatest Dad" (2009)
of course it is a unbelievably strange world we live in, especially on the internet, so don't go changing to try to please me, dontchaknow... it is just too sad for words this time, though not too sad for time in words, but there must be something wrong with the script because the desperation of attention seeking through humor (or acting out in any way, even acting) is so rarely seen as the cry for help that it is... and some we think so brilliant may never have understood the big picture they tapped into for moments of clarity that lead us to call them genius... and we ask, how could someone with such insight have so little awareness... and we ask how could someone with such insight into human nature and culture have so little insight into themselves... perhaps it is because their perceived genius is in how they escape from themselves...
"There was an old, crazy dude who used to live a long time ago. His name was Lord Buckley. And he said, a long time ago, he said, 'People--they're kinda like flowers, and it's been a privilege walking in your garden.'"
. . . . . . . . . . . . Robin Williams -- "Reality...What A Concept" (1979)
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