and another softball rainout

if i recorded all of them this season, there's be thirty entries, at least... this is the second one this week, but at least i did not dress and go to the fields to wait for the game to be called... it was called off as i was on my way home from work... so i headed home to find jackson not feeling well and heading for bed, only she didn't sleep and seemed torn between wanting comfort and wanting to punish herself, a place we all stumble into sometimes... she had texted me saying she hoped we would not play tonight cuz she didn't feel well and wanted to sleep but... poor baby, she is so stressed over work and life and love and money and more, she is losing her successes in worries of failures... so sadly human, like most everybody else...

so i am watching tv, defiance and dominion, two strange shows, the latter rather predictable (but then, what show about angels and god isn't?... some sweet eye candy now and then) and the former holding out a little hope for some creativity mostly because of a few odd characters wrapped around the cliche father-adopted-daughter relationship and a little eye candy, but mostly attractive because it is slightly reminiscent of firefly in it's tone and oddity and desperation, though not nearly as good (but then, firefly had a great cast of characters and some seriously innocent-killer eye candy almost as good as resident evil's absolutely magical milla (that's some nice website flash... and thanks for the smile, even sad as the author was)...

we all want love, but we must believe we deserve it to find it... and then, we must trust ourselves to survive anything to let it find us... for love is a two edged sword and cutting both ways hurts whether it becomes the essence of eternal ethereal beauty or the torture of seemingly endless, though actually only temporary loneliness and denial...

narf :)