spillage

this entry was going to be entitled fell out, woke screaming, however i typed those words here in the entry box instead of in the post title box and i was too lazy to cut and paste or retype the words and figured it was not meant to be cuz i have no clue how the cursor bounced into the entry box (sensitive touchpad, perhaps... is that a clue?) so anyway, i fell asleep on the couch waiting for jackson to get off the phone as we paused the dvr'ed show we were watching when the phone rang and i woke about an hour ago or so with the screaming tinnitus turned up to max and the pounding frontal lobe headache that comes from (speculation) caffeine withdrawal or sugar rush or blood pressure spikes due to not eating all day then eating then falling right to sleep or some other such means (perhaps the aliens are trying to contact me again or god, for that matter) spread to the upper spine (back of neck lower cranium) and it was pounding enough to lead me into a steaming hot shower which usually helps if i steam the body enough cuz (speculation) i sweat out salt and water and increase blood circulation to the skin which lowers blood pressure (i know i could take the blood pressure but rest assured, it is high when the tinnitus screams and head pounds) and i ponder whether it is time for the big one (ol' redd understands) or simply time to change the eating and exercise habits (and exercise usually helps too cuz it provides a similar effect as the steaming shower) and i almost hold my breath waiting for february when health insurance kicks in and i start catching up on check ups and the list of body ailments i want to speak to a doctor about and then, as with the car the past few weeks, i feel the frustration of the lack of trust in the medical industry (as i feel the frustration of finding a reliable mechanic) and wonder if any of this is really worth it in the end cuz no matter what we do in life it ends the same so why stress over anything when the optimal choice is just enjoy each moment...

isn't anybody going to listen to my story la la la...

narf lol lam sigh :)