second sunday softball

well, sunday team two, the afternoon team, did not show up... or too many showed up... one guy who is late to every game (and jackson rewrites the lineup a couple of times at the last minute almost every week because of him) was late again, this time very late... we held up the game 10 minutes waiting for him because jackson was re-writing the lineup again and somehow someone on the team convinced her that putting him back in and having 13 players hit was the right idea... rarely is having 13 players in a lineup a good idea, especially when half are weak hitters... rallies are squashed way too easily... unfortunately, i added to that by hitting poorly... blame it on the knee i tweaked which was seriously affecting batting, but also include the fact that i was suddenly told i was up at bat two batters ahead of where i though i was because of the last minute lineup change... timing was way off even more than in the morning game since i didn't have a couple of warm up swings and felt rushed to the plate... wah wah wah, excuses suck...

so we scored 2 runs and lost 4-2 cuz we made some errors... i added to that playing horrible, making two errors and let the "don't lose him" calls influence me when instinct told me to walk a guy and the guy hit a home run... i think this team has a 2-2 record now... the most competitive girl on the team did not like the fact that jackson had her take a walk in the last inning, but it was the right move since she became the tying run on base and the #4 hitter was due up... unfortunately, he, like almost everyone else, was hitting poorly and that was that... it was not a pretty site at the end of the game as most everyone was not happy and disappeared from the field fast... it did not help that the umpire ended the game after 45 minutes when we were supposed to play an hour... he pointed out that our late guy was the reason we started late... i was not in the mood to argue, but i voiced disappointment that the most expensive league in town was also the shortest games... after many years, we are closer to not renewing this league than we've been... though we have $200+ to put to the next season so i suppose i will sign the team up and do my best to talk jackson into coming back to run the team...

anyway, jackson and i worked out the frustration after the game and the grumpy girl texted her to apologize (she left the field without congratulating anyone as is the custom) and maybe she'll be back for one more season... people are such strange people sometimes... as is softball...

sunday softball and cookout

cheap burgers and hotdogs and bratwursts... i had two burgers and two hot dogs cuz i was pretty sure the burgers were bought recently and the hot dogs were bought today... the brats, however, we purchased several weeks ago, boiled in beer, brought to the fields for several hours (at least), then taken home and refrozen, and they were not defrosted when they were put on the grill... somehow the greyness and history turned me off and besides, i don't like the taste of beer... yeah, so anyway, the burger was good, though missing cheese and onions and not great and the buns were not the freshest... the dog was a cheap dog, but the buns were good... still, fun with the team after the game...

oh, and the game... we won in three innings 23-3... ridiculously short game... i must have gotten up a few times, but i barely remember... must have been the food, since i didn't drink any beers or anything... definitely the sun... hot... heat... i walked twice and lined out (soft) to short right and a good play by the second baseman got me... i would have liked to have played more, but this team likes to play fast and then disappear, mostly, especially since we re-welcomed all of last season's players, so a few of us hung out and ate and the rest wandered... it was good to have jackson back, even though she didn't start or play much... she sets a great example not swinging at bad pitches and one of the guys remarked about how well she works the pitcher, so they are learning that going up there and swinging away at the first pitch is not the way to play good softball...

off to see the next softball game now... are we having fun? :)

party of the dress up kind

yes, the suit and tie, but no top hat or tails... and the wedding was sweet and simple and the weather was beautiful for it (outdoors) and the food was very good, though extremely limited selection, except for the cake and dessert (wedding cakes have become quite the disappointment in recent years) and while the service could have been better, all in all it was a wonderful wedding for the large group of friends sharing the fun... i was told i cleaned up well... i thought i looked fat...

and i already can't button up my new suit jacket... alas, the pants are ok, just maxed out the pig out this week and tonight and it's time to pull back and drop ten, at least... if only i did not love food so much... home now, ready for sleep...

nite nite :)

fun night with friends

napped in the afternoon and played cards with friends all evening, getting home a couple of hours ago and wandering the facebook web for a while... no tv or dvr, though at 87% full i need to watch and/or delete some stuff tomorrow... jackson too... anyway, much fun and food cooked on the big egg kettle barbecue thing curly has including pizza, pork loin roast, steak, brownies, and sweet potatoes... lots of snacks too... definitely enjoyed the pigging out and cars and friends but need exercise and lighter eating tomorrow, at least until the evening when we have a wedding to attend... life is a party, balance maintains life...

time for sleep, hope you are finding something to smile about...

nite nite :)

and awake again (yes, with the dvr)

ignoring the atrociously unrealistic inconsistencies, extremely poor science, ridiculous over-acting, faux-drama, technical flaws (pin on name-tags and duct tape for a space shuttle flight, right?), irrational fear reactions, and forced attempts at injecting christianity and religious sermons throughout the outer limits, i try to enjoy the thin thread of potential in the main idea of stories... and all the tv actors from decades before trying way too hard to create drama where there is none can sometimes be amusing... the outer limits of arbitrary human fears, but what of the vast imagination that exists beyond current human fears, aye?... it is good night time fare as it can easily put me to sleep like any over dramatic soap opera... and there are so many episodes...

anyway, i stopped for food on the way home from softball... searching for a sub shop, i found none (though i only searched from the road and was looking mostly for a firehouse subs), so i decided on checkers... yup, burgers and fries... and bacon... and a hot dog... and a shrimp box... and a mr. pibb... no chocolate shake though, i mean, i must watch my waistline, ya know?... and then i fell asleep during the football game and woke after a few hours, rolled over, and realized i was awake so i turned on the tv...

and how is your middle-of-the-night? :)

can't win em all

after a pretty good run of wins (except for a couple of sundays ago when the sunday team didn't show up and the coaches were missing as well and we gave away what should have been an easy win and the team has actually never recovered from that but i hope the coaches can resolve the differences that brew and left us with just eight players showing this past sunday... ah, the drama humans hold on to... i may never truly get it), the thursday team (which was the men's champion in the friday night league last season but now plays in a much better men's league with C and B level players) lost tonight 15-12... we could have won if we didn't make so many errors (or if we had ten players... we won the first two games in this league with nine players and played with nine again tonight, but the team we played hit a lot better than the other teams we've played so far and we needed a fourth outfielder like they had)...

other obstacles was a very soft and unleveled field... especially puzzling and unsettling was the fact that there was no pitching mound or pitching rubber, so there was no flat spot to pitch from and my shaky knee (slight strain to my right mcl) and that gave the other team much better pitches to hit... the batters box was dangerous and everyone was having a lot of trouble planting their feet and even more trouble running out of it (a few fell) which made it even more challenging for me to hit as stability for swinging a bat is very dependent on the mcl...

even with those obstacles, however if we hit better, we would have won... too many high fly balls from the power hitters... the other team was outstanding at hitting line drives, which is how softball is won... i went 2 for 4 knocking in three runs and running in a straight line didn't hurt the knee, but any variation (pitching, hitting, fielding) that required bending the knee for balance was unstable and i had to be very careful not to further injury the knee...

still it was fun... love me my softball :)

nights with the dvr

lately i've been spending the nights with the dvr as the catching up on reruns thing has the dvr more than 90% full most days... i've caught up on reruns of lots of shows (some more details and lists can be found in the background tv blog, i mean, if you are interested or curious or suffer from some absurd addiction to the trivial nonsense we loosely call this life lives by yours truly, like me, even)... hour after hour i toil over the sheer nonsense that is television... the animaniacs provide the levity and intelligent asides between the holy rolling faux sci-fi of the outer limits and the usually more entertaining fare of the twilight zone and i am just about starting to see reruns i've seen in this current cycle of rerun marathon, so i will be removing the record all episodes from these and return to the new episodes of other shows which is right on time since the new fall season of the current tv line-ups are starting right on time...

thing is, once i start watching, the nocturnal drives in the hyperbrain take over and i am wide awake watching the dvr all night and here we are again, morning-ish, and i am ready to nod off... this decadent dvr watching must change soon, at least the all-night events, because the day-time working life will likely begin any week now and night time sleeping will be relatively necessary in order to pass for a functional human out there in the allegedly real world...

nite, errr, nite :)

food and softball

usually it is the other way around as the wednesday night team, or at least a few of us, often go to gators after games, but tonight i went to 4 rivers before the game with curly who accompanied me on the suit shopping trip earlier and the food was ok, but not the rave that i heard about over and over from so many sources... though i am a ribs person, i decided to try the brisket because every review i've read about 4 rivers says they have brisket to die for and ribs, not so much... but i found the meat dry and the rub way too salty, so salty we both just cut off the thin layer of tender fat from the top of the slices of brisket and left them uneaten on the plate (usually the best tastiest part)... so it was disappointing, and $40 for two... the sides were good, but not great...

softball was carefully played tonight as i wrapped my knee and i discovered just how vital an mcl is to balance and hitting and fielding and pitching and everything... i could not control the bat as i usually do and grounded out three times... i walked a couple, but pitched well enough... i could not field low grounders or anything to my right or left... but this team is playing out of it's league so we won 11-1 anyway (and the one run they got was a gift)... it didn't help that we were playing on a poor field because the regular field was under water, so footing was uncertain and slippery in spots, all the more reason to not move around much on the knee... with the wrap, it hurt a little (more from wrap discomfort which reminded me to not push the knee) and it doesn't hurt more now afterward, so i wrapped and played it right... hopefully it'll be even better tomorrow night when the men's league will test it more...

and home to relax and watch some tv and so on... you? :)

putting on the rizz

not quite the ritz, but then, that may be all in my mind cuz i used to have custom tailored suits in new york... so $1200 later, i have three complete suit outfits (one pair of shoes though) and i am all ready for the dress up game again (yuck yuck yuck)... and i have a socially acceptable outfit to wear for the wedding i am going to on saturday too... now all that's in my way is the puffy blubber that has grown around my neck over the years, a blubbery blob that seems to be quite disproportional to the rest of the body, but that's the luck of body type i suppose (or is it all the neck exercises i did as a young pup?)... skinny legs, broad and chunky torso, blubbery neck, and a job for a good tailor to fit (or so it goes)... the neck is the discomfort zone when i stuff it in a shirt and tie, but for at least the start, i shall set the tone when i go into the job and see how gradually i can get slightly more casual... comfortable... make it a home...

joseph a. bank (established 1905, or so the bags say) was the recipient of the dollars... i mean, in case the consumer robots are keeping track... the ads on facebook and any other site i visit changed to include clothing of course, the internet is such a clever capitalistic claptrap, after all... it amuses me as i may click on one ad a year when something just happens to get a rise out of my curiosity, but generally i don't even notice the content unless i am thinking about looking for what they think i want any given day... it's usually music or food or some environmental cause, so the robots do their job well, i suppose... anyway, it was an expensive day in my little world...

hope you enjoyed your day too :)

up all night (again)

and then, went with jackson to get happiness into the vet... $200 later, he had his senior bloodwork, pills for worms, a urine check, some cans of food, and heartguard for six months... someday i will win the lottery and the universe will balance my check book, right? lol... and after getting home it was time to shop and almost $200 later we have more food in the house, though much was walked by in some almost futile attempt to moderate the food budget... and after getting home and putting away the food, we ate pizza and jackson went to work and the cable guy came... i believe i got the best brighthouse can offer and even the technician himself said there is better hardware on the market that can help with the dropped signal problem that probably will never go away... though lots of changes to settings may have helped some... hopefully a lot... instead of adding new complaint entries i've just updated this one again, i mean, in case you are interested in the brighthouse saga... and then, after the cable tech left, it was time to empty shows from the dvr so i am watching the outer limits (in spite of the sometimes heavy religious influences)... and happiness is napping... and i may fall out soon too...

how are you? :)

long day, up and down

hours trying to get brighthouse to fix their service buy once again, brighthouse fails miserably (see the Monday and Tuesday updates)... the more i learn about the company, the more pathetic they get... untrained service techs sent out to plug in wires and pretend they know more than the customers, but they don't... online and on phone service reps who cannot resolve issues even when they understand the issues... and rudeness at the end when they cannot fix what they are asked to fix... they all need to wear t-shirts

I WORK FOR BRIGHTHOUSE
I WILL WASTE AS MUCH TIME AS YOU LET ME
BEFORE ADMITTING I CANNOT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION
OR FIX WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR INTERNET OR CABLE.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN HELP YOU WITH TODAY?

meanwhile, i napped during the afternoon for a few hours and it rained all day and evening... jackson said happiness was sick this morning and has worms again so i insisted she make an appointment with the vet and i will pay the few hundred it takes to get him checked out and as healthy as possible, dangit... she said she spoke to sanford a few times today (huh?... she just woke let go or see the signs) and i just nodded since she does not want to hear my perspective and disagrees... frustrating, but she's self-destructive that was, martyr to the end... i'll do my best to pick up the pieces and help her stay safe and heal as much as possible, more when she lets me...

so grump grump grump, and my knee really hurts... i wrapped it and walked minimally today and though i am going out more tomorrow, i will walk carefully and hopefully it will be ready for wednesday softball... it's not swollen, so it could be worse... possible aging, alas, a strained ligament, most likely the medial collateral ligament (MCL) or irritation to the medial (inside) meniscus, though it could be an age related inflammation like bursitis... ligament strain sound most likely, and rest is the answer... or at least running the bases carefully (shhhh, i'll be careful)...

so what else is new? :}

ok, so blah

and while part of that blah is my osmosis empathy drawing in the heartbreak and confusion and denial and drama around me, it has even more to do with my right knee... it hurts... i think playing catcher yesterday after pitching two games is what did it... too much kneeling and bouncing out of the catcher kneel... by butt and lower back muscles hurt too, last night, but they are fine this morning... the knee, however, is lingering... this makes the plan to do a lot of shopping today (at supermarkets and warehouse stores and possibly clothing stores) less likely, much less, unless the pain subsides... rest is the cure, not walking around a lot and shopping and carrying bags of groceries and trying on clothes... so i am likely going to rest today and that has me bummed cuz i wanted to get out and most of all, we need stuff... blah... blah blah blah...

jackson left for work and won't be back until late... the brighthouse service tech is due here and hopefully he will know enough about connectivity and the high speed modem and computers to actually do something and not just try to placate me with the same old reboot and it seems fine now crap... yeah, it seems fine for a few hours, even a day sometimes, and then, like a few minutes ago, the signal is dropped... it is not fine for streaming video or music... or having a live online chat with a brighthouse customer service rep - and hopefully i do not have to tell him that since seven different service reps experienced the intermittent connectivity just two days ago and it's in my service logs...

but because it's brighthouse, i prepare for the worse... like right now it won't let me save or upload this post... and i am still not able to connect to espn on the web... and my knee certainly won't help my mood or perspective, ya know... blah... blah blah blah...

and how's your day going? :}

saturday happened, really

no really, saturday did happen... so did sunday, i suppose, as it is now monday morning and i am trying to remember some of what actually did happen then right now... ah yes, now it is coming back to me, slightly... so i shall find an hour or two to catch up as you might see if you head back to read the last half dozen or more entries...

this morning jackson woke and i took her temperature (emotionally speaking) and she was ok until she got a text from sanford (who unfriended her {and me and all of jackson's friends} on facebook over the weekend, which hurt, but still sent her a text this morning {as jackson is trying to forget and get ready for work} to explain that she does not think facebook is a healthy place to have a relationship {yet she has complained that jackson does not "tag" her on facebook when they would go out in the past} and in the same text, she does not want to see what jackson is doing with others posted on facebook... manipulative much?... she's the one ending it and she wants jackson to curl up depressed and not have friends over or heal?... don't get me started, i'm already writing more than i intended to share)...

anyway, after some tension and denial and some harsh words, jackson stopped crying, uncurled, got back out of bed, and took a shower... yay her... se is still defending sanford though, so ok maybe it's not deliberate manipulation, but if you want to end something, stop throwing stones... meanwhile, i continued sitting here and catching up... and while sitting here, she came out to pluck my eyebrows cuz she's been bugged by a few stray hairs and i am starting a new job soon and she cares about me... passive aggressive much? lol...

hey, we all need a little drama in our personal emotional lives, right?... sheesh :)

another full day, weekend, even

sleep, softball, a roller coaster of emotion, delicious dinner, and tv football... i shall upload entries now that tell you all about it... ok, not all, but much about it... after all, a girl has to have a few secrets, or something like that... actually, some privacy for others is respect even here in this seemingly endless stream of free associative wide open babbling about every little detail of this life as i experience it... even when i really need to vent about it to keep my inner peace and tranquility... but still, respect, i do tr... and it has been a very full weekend... from strip clubs to dinner theatre to softball games to emotional upheavals to dvr shows to fantasy football tragedies yo board games to cooking at home to knee pains to sudden storms to therapy and more... have you see the daily poop yet?... nevermind, let's get on with today, aye? :)

laughing all the way home... and narf :)

dinner instead of softball

jackson came by after church to watch the third game and after that she decided to sign up for this season and we hung out with our coaches team for a bit before heading home to take care of happiness and rest a bit before our afternoon game (scheduled for 6:30)... it started raining and we found out that the 6:30 game was cancelled and i could see jackson was struggling with emotions over her relationship (which seems to be a break-up as she {and i and everyone who knows them both} was unfriended on facebook today and if that is not a signal of it's over, well, facebook provides a new way of hurting others and dashing hopes and dreams)...

so i took her to dinner (it took a bit of convincing to get her out) and we enjoyed Macaroni Grill comfort food (her favorite penne rustica and i had eggplant parm with shrimp and meatballs and we shared two cheesy appetizers that were yummy and we both have a meal in the fridge for today)... we got him in time for football, one of her chicago teams, da bears, were doing well when we fell asleep on the couches...

and here i am the next morning (that would be tomorrow) catching up on yesterday (which would be today, and the day before) and if you miss the multiple daily entries, well, at least we might be back to at least daily entries and hopefully more shall follow... after all, in the past this entry might have been three of four entries, right?...

and so it became, in case you wondered :)

long hot softball day

a double header scheduled for 10am... eight people showed up for the game, perhaps leftover results of last week's dysfunctional mess that resulted in our first loss of the season... we won both today, mostly on my pitching and decent defense (infield errors allowed two runs in the first game and a couple of walks and an error allowed two runs in the second game)... our hitting could have been a lot better... i think we scored 6 in the first game and 12 or 14 in the second game... we gave two two runs each game, all on errors... i hit well, getting on base almost every at bat, and pitched very well, so personally i have good ego satisfaction but it is very disappointing that the team supposedly wanting to be competitive and go back to the world series is in disarray...

one player who has not come to a practice in months, did not go to the world series with us, and is extremely passive aggressive and negative on and off the field, simply did not show up without notifying anyone... that left us needing to pick up a player from another team just to be able to put nine on the field... if either team hit well, we probably would not have won... another very moody player apparently missed a ride... four others were out of town...

on a hopefully positive note, i (and some other friends who also play on our sunday afternoon team) talked jackson into signing up to play for this season... she was going to take this season off to devote more time to church activities and spending more time in her relationship, but unfortunately her relationship is either pausing or over (sigh, i will not write much out of respect for her privacy, but bottomless painful sadness fills the air these days) so she agreed staying busy with fun and friends (she loves softball) would be a good idea... not hopefully the coaches will put her in the game and not just sit her on the bench like they sometimes have done in the past...

i personally will be very unhappy with decisions that put the unenthusiastic disruptive players who don't show up for practices or games in ahead of her even if they potentially have more speed and skill... the game is mostly about spirit and those that don't have it really bring everybody down.. like last week when we game a game away, literally... and it's time i make that known (again, but louder this time) to both coaches...

then i was picked up by another team for a 1pm game and helped them to a big win, playing catcher and getting several hits... so i had a great day personally and was part of three wins, which is fun... on a more concerning note, perhaps while playing catcher and using leg muscles differently, i have an inflammation of the knee ligaments that will hopefully pass quickly... i haven't experienced this since the early days of running long distances as a teenager... healing thoughts...

jackson came by after church to watch the third game and after that she decided to sign up for this season and we hung out with our coaches team for a bit before heading home to take care of happiness and rest a bit before our afternoon game (scheduled for 6:30)... it started raining and we found out that game was cancelled and i could see jackson was struggling with emotions over her relationship (which seems to be a break-up as she {and i and everyone who knows them both} was unfriended on facebook today and if that is not a signal of it's over, well, facebook provides a new way of hurting others and dashing hopes and dreams)...

softball morning

waking 8am or so (slept about four or five hours), splashing water instead of showering cuz showering last night was enough, and out the door to softball... a double header scheduled for 10am... too early to hit the batting cages which open at 10am so i shall do my best to loosen up at the field and hope for the best... i wish the coach would share the stats he keeps cuz i love stats and it would help me see what preparations worked best, so i'll ask him again and see if he remembers... he was sharing the stats on facebook but suddenly stopped, probably because the team has a lot of young semi-depressed egos who want to be perfect and who think they are much better than they are and they don't respond well to reality in the form of stats... anyway, nobody's perfect and we are all growing and it is time to head out the door...

have fun today :)

dinner with friends at home

after taking happiness for a long walk cuz he was shaking and did not look well and seemed uncomfortable (he is getting old and keeping his joints moving helps), a couple of her oldest friends settled in here for dinner and catch up time together...

jackson made fish and asparagus we had in the freezer and we enjoyed a healthy dinner and since brighthouse and espn decided we would not watch the game they had scheduled, we played the board game say anything and had fun playing and talking and laughing and catching up on our lives (and distracting jackson from her sadness over her relationship breaking up... she's in denial about it most of the time, defending sanford and taking all the blame on herself and i wish she would not do that, but it is what it is and i see the manipulations jackson does not want to see - like unfriending on facebook and still texting... either sanford does not know jackson well at all or she is deliberately trying to manipulate jackson, either way, it just hurts jackson more in many ways and that's tough to watch)...

we had fun playing (say anything is jackson's favorite board game right now) and she won the second game and we watched a little tv and digested and it was good to be with caring friends...

brighthouse and espn

as updated here, i paid $10 to watch the florida state game on channel 208 cuz to get that channel it's $10 for sports pass and the guide had the florida state game scheduled for channel 208 so the guests coming over to watch it won'y be disappointed and we find out that the miami game is on both 208 and 209 and the florida state game is not being shown... won't the sports bars be pleased... brighthouse blames espn... they did refund my $10 after thirty minutes on the phone and they will give me sports pass for free this month... of course they will charge me next month if i don't call and wait and cancel, but i only know that because i called this month... they don't tell you that on the screen when you order... deception and manipulation, that's being a friend according to brighthouse...

moving on, time for dinner...

brighthouse madness

i just had to write yet another meaningless complaint about the ridiculously poor products that brighthouse sell... the intermittent internet connection is getting worse and worse, especially during the daytime hours... and perhaps luckily, that showed during an attempt to chat with brighthouse via their support chat on the web... twenty five times the connection was disconnected and i had to start the chat all over again... seven different support reps were involved as they were assigned as available as i reconnected... i appear to have gotten their attention as they gave me discounts for this month and a free month of sports pass and they have a tech coming out monday evening...

perhaps they will boost the signal as they have in previous years and the issues with connectivity will be more resolved from now on (i've always been a dreamer, ya know?)... anyway, after watching some dvr shows to make room for more dvr recordings, i wanted to get espn3 on the computer cuz we have friends coming over and the florida state game is not on tv (which is ridiculous, but that's programming stupidity for you)... and i find that my account is not valid even though i could log into both espn and brighthouse... so i call brighthouse and find out that they don't transfer online registration to the new account they open for the new residence when someone moves and for the fourth or fifth time they want me to re-register online (which means losing all the preferences and connections, not to mention confusing the issue with yet another login and password)... after talking to a couple of different reps, i find a rep that actually can transfer my online registration to my current account number (were the other reps just too lazy to do that or were they simply incompetent?) and that should take effect within 14 hours...

unfortunately, that does not help us see the game we wanted to see tonight... meanwhile, i really should be sleeping since i didn't sleep last night... grumble... so i look through every station on tv and find the game on a station i've never watched before, not hd, but hey, the game is listed... just have to pay an extra $10 for sports pass to access the station... so i click to pay and the screen tells me i have to call for some reason...

so i call to pay and the rep says there is no reason i should not be able to order with one click and instead of just taking my money i am sent to tech support... twenty minutes later i am paying for sports pass but still have no resolution to why the click and pay service did not work... wonderful, i take a nap on the couch...

where did the day go?

as in the past 24 hours or so since the last entry (at least for the moment) to be more precise... a marathon of the tv show revolution occupied much time last night and through the mid-morning, then sleep, and then waking to shower and head out to dinner and clubbing with friends for a friend's bachelor party... so from the top (as in last 24 hours) we can count seven hours of revolution followed by six hours of sleep followed by almost eleven hours of fun with friends (with an hour of shower and hygiene tossed in)... dinner was at al capone's which was yummy food on a buffet (italian meatballs, lasagna, sausage peppers and onions, carved meats, potatoes and veggies and a few other items), and a fun live show... clubbing was at rachel's which is a local strip club and steakhouse (it was a bachelor party, after all) where the hard working staff did their best to encourage us to pay for very expensive drinks and pay even more for the opportunity to be close to nearly naked bodies (this lead to some pondering of money for sex which is another entry i'll insert prior to this one therein changing the timeline mention in the first line of this entry, for what it's worth)...

anyway, that's where the day went... hope your last 24 hours was fun too :)

paying for sex

for no obviously apparent reason here are some entries randomly chosen to explain the process or something or other continuing as if it matters like secret secrets or whatever maybe on the mind...

and now, the entry...

in summarizing the events of the day since the last entry (at least for now) in the next entry, i pondered how i feel about paying for sex and strip clubs and related subjects... it's been a few years (at least) since i went to a nude dance club, or strip club, and my perception and experience has not changed... on one level it was nice to see naked bodies and a couple were visually attractive to me (my narrow view of what is physically attractive to me is another story that i've shared before in my writings, but i don't recall where to link you for more if you want more and that's a tangent i don't feel like making time for at this hour when i ought to sleep, but suffice to say my libido is most attracted to petite fit bodies for many reasons) and a couple of faces almost were cute enough to be attractive to me (and visual facial features are also another story for another time)... on another it was sad to see the girls who obviously did not like being nearly naked but drank or drugged themselves to make it seem ok in their minds... i am not interested in lap dances or idle flirtation however, even with the few bodies or faces that were initially appealing, because paying for nudity or sexual experience was never a turn on for me and tonight showed me that is still isn't...

especially in these days of herpes and AIDS and the variety of STDs still around, i am not interested in rolling the STD dice sexually with anyone who does not share medical tests with me... alas, for better or worse (and obviously enough of me considers it better to actually do it, while some of me still loves the idea of instant unconditional love and trust at first sight, hence the alas), the ignorant idealistic romantic has become the practical realistic romantic...

and for a few reasons, like i don't see human beings as a commodity and even if i accepted money for sex as an ethically logical transaction, whether it is ego or logic, i don't see why i should pay anyone for sharing bodies when my body is worth more to me than anyone else's body... so i've never paid for sex, even in the indirect way of buying dinner and gifts and supporting someone and so on the way most people do... but even if i wanted to explore buying sex for the first time, these days i don't want to spend money for a brief sensual thrill...

sexuality among humans is fraught with confusion and fear and prejudice and superstition and ignorance and confusion and fear and prejudice and superstition and ignorance is not fun for me... in fact, i do not want confusion and fear and prejudice and superstition and ignorance in my life... beyond not wanting confusion and fear and prejudice and superstition and ignorance in my life, confusion and fear and prejudice and superstition and ignorance undermines the beauty and value of intimacy and leads to failure or relationships... all this is why i've shared sexually with so few humans and have gone some years without trying again... i can wait until i find someone not fraught with confusion and fear and prejudice and superstition and ignorance...

ironically, keeping sex on a business level sometimes can remove (or does it just suppress) some (or most?) of the confusion and fear and prejudice and superstition and ignorance, which only has appeal because of that in a world where intimacy is so fraught with confusion and fear and prejudice and superstition and ignorance (are you following any of this? lol lam), but then we return to the question of worth and this may be some sort of loop i no longer wish to follow in this entry (feel free to continue if you follow any of it and maybe it'll inspire some more, aye?), so...

no sex for you!... unless, of course, you are free (nyuk nyuk nyuk), seriously...

some nights are odder than others

so i am watching a marathon of revolution that i have on dvr (and it's not much more appealing than it was for the few minutes i checked it out when it was on originally... typical human war drama, typical power trip mentality, typical stupidity) and jackson comes out cuz happiness woke her panting and she was concerned so we went out to take him for a walk and he had to pee and poo and it is likely that he did not get out enough yesterday cuz both jackson and i skipped his usual walks and did quicky walks and he also did not eat anything until after 6pm cuz he left his breakfast food in his bowl all day cuz it was just dry food and he gets so spoiled since we've been getting him canned food and jackson was sleepy so i told her go back to bed and i took him for a longer walk and there was this white cat, clean and furry and it did not look like a stray at all just sitting on the sidewalk and happiness walked right up and sniffed and the cat just sat there and i petted the cat and it just sat there and we walked on and the cat just sat there... no collar, but a very white white cat way too clean to be living outdoors all the time...

i brought happiness back in and went to take pictures of the cat and there it was still sitting there and it didn't move when the flash went off and i petted it again and when i walked away it followed me halfway home so i went out and brought it a little of happiness's dry food and left it and while there i noticed another cat with a darker coat that appeared a bit more feral and the white cat chased the other one away and came back and sat on the sidewalk outside... i came back in to let happiness back into jackson's room and came here to note this rather odd night...

i just went out to check and it did not eat the food i left it (might be used to a tastier cat diet)... it looks like it is well fed and groomed and it was just sitting on the grass at the corner of the building... the other cat was not in view, definitely more skittish... the white one was definitely human friendly and i could have picked him or her up... so we almost adopted a cat (shhhh, don't tell jackson, she really wants one)...

just kidding, i'll tell her tomorrow and we'll keep an eye out for it...

nite nite :)

not sleeping

apparently the body (and/or brain, likely lead by the brain, obviously) is not sleeping after the sun goes down... this nocturnal circadian rhythm is probably a resistance to the soon-to-change schedule as i return to the daily work life and being the natural rebel i am, i am enjoying the night (alone again, naturally, but with much tv, haven and dead like me and the twilight zone and the outer limits {which is a serious misnomer, but that's another story of course} and kit kats... no soda or liquid sugar or caffeine though)... and as much as i know the great value of sleep, i love the quiet, the darkness (still there, in spite of the wonderfully full moon tonight), and the infinite possibilities... the night inspires imagination, for me at least...

hope you are enjoying your night :)

for no obviously apparent reason here are some entries randomly chosen to explain the process or something or other continuing as if it matters like secret secrets or whatever maybe on the mind...

softball funatics

well, the first two games of this season were blow outs... 25-7 in the first game and we game away runs just to keep it going... and 19-1 in the second game (pitched a two hitter in five innings) and we stopped running the bases after the first inning... so far we appear to be the team that belongs in the upper bracket... two seasons ago we were in the upper bracket and watched one team go undefeated and another almost as good... last season we moved to the lower bracket and we finished third... this season we added four new people (who, after seeing them play, belong in the upper bracket) and we are all playing better than previous seasons... so two of the teams definitely could not complete with us and there are three other teams that will hopefully offer more competition... if not, we will be back in the upper bracket again next season... hopefully with the same players so we can compete better there... both divisions are Co-ed D Recreational, one just more skilled than the other...

so far i've gone 9 for 9 this season... a bunch of rbi and runs scored, but i am not keeping precise track of those and nobody keeps the book in this league... five of the hits were fieldable going through the infield, but a combination of the speed of the hit and the level of fielding of the players let me get on base... those five might have been outs in the upper division, likely one or two... still, i am hitting better too... part of that is the pitching we face because the pitchers are somewhat wild and have no spin or spot control which makes their strokes easier to hit... part of it is the lack of pressure as we have had a bit lead fast so i don't feel like there's any pressure on me when i get to the plate... but hey, i might also continue to get better too ya know :)

went to gators after the game again... they are supplying jerseys for this team this season...

onward to tomorrow's game, which should be much more competitive as the league is Men's C Division, which is a competitive level... none of the Wednesday night players play on the Thursday night team... other softball funatics... we won last week, but that was the least skilled team in that league so we need to bring our game tomorrow...

hope you are finding some fun too :)

morning is back

yes, though the last week or so has been mostly nocturnal and i was still awake last night at 5am, i am awake and showered and about to get dressed to head out to start the paperwork process for my new job... lots of paper and process before i can actually start working, which is the norm for the health care field... background checks, level 2 checks, the government agencies will be looking me up and seeing what i have in their files... other than controversial facebook posts as Bugs, there shouldn't be much of anything (no tickets, no law-enforcement interactions, no credit issues, nothing to report over the last few years, which is generally a good thing)...

still looking for jackson to check in more (once a day is logical and sensible and such) about work and $, but patience continues to be the watchword for me and she is working through the changes in her relationship and work/$ habits... is not easy, i know, but gotta be done... happiness is getting older every day (aren't we all), but still has a whole lot of puppy in him most of the time... and now it's time for me to head out to get that paperwork started for the new job... at least today had an update, aye?...

the writer misses me, and i miss the writer... and you too... hope all is well :)

in-between times (not)

that is, there is lots of in-between time passing without entries lately, so the in-between times are not here lately, so there is much stuff from daily life missing from the (e)thereal lately (though perhaps not the self-mocking redundancy, aye?)... well, repeating myself sometimes corrects deficiencies, or something like that... still hoping for a few daily connections with jackson that are not happening, like paperwork and budgetary updates, for two, though we seem to maybe be perhaps possibly getting closer to them... that was part of the deal when i decided to pop another $1,100 or so out of savings for her the past couple of weeks, after all... alas, old habits die hard...

meanwhile, in the world that is more specifically me and mine, as much as anything can be mine, i am slightly mourning the end times of the current extended vacation and preparing to return to the daily work life (with the hope that it is not a rat race)... and enjoying catching up on dvr tv, noticing that the outer limits are way too religious-based for my taste (how can a show call itself the outer limits when it doesn't get past the limit of human western religions, after all... that's not sci-fi, that's soap opera with a touch of science not and then)... beside tv, lots of dinners and cards and more money spending than is wise considering i am still without income at least for another month, but did i ever claim to be wise?... silliness and happiness abound, naturally...

hope there is enough for smiles in your life too :)

food and fun (with friends, yay)

jackson woke me two minutes before my alarm went off and while we didn't get a couple of things done that are needed, we hung out, played tennis, and watched some college football before she headed out to watch the ucs game at our friend mary's place (cuz mary has the big ten network and ucf is played penn state today) and i headed out for dinner with helen at a place i never tried before... helen and i caught up on job changes and trips we took and other stuff we did since we last hung out (lots happened in the last few weeks) and dinner was good for the price, but would not have been worth full price (helen had a group on)... service was great...

after dinner i headed up to mary's to catch the last quarter of the ucf-penn state game and we cheered and cheered and cheered and ucf pulled off the upset at penn state's home field, winning their first game against a big ten opponent in eleven tries, 34-31... much joy as both jackson and mary are serious ucf fans (jackson especially) and i cheer for the local team too... we headed home, but on the way i decided to head to curly's place because there was a group of people playing cards there and and we had fun eating pizza and brownies and all sorts of snacks and playing cards for hours...

a long fun evening and night of food and fun with friends... time to relax and catch up sports scores and maybe watch a dvr'ed show as i slip into sleepiness... softball tomorrow, so i ought to get some sleep tonight ya know :)

job news

simplifying (or maybe expanding on?) the previous entry, i was offered a job yesterday after completing a three tier interview process that included six interview sessions with eleven people including the person who will be my direct supervisor, the hr/recruiting department, management and clinical teams, and some of those who will be my subordinates... i was impressed by the thoroughness of the interview process, the interviews themselves, and the sense of teamwork, knowledge, and hopefulness that the people provided... the vice president presented the organization in such a positive light that i believe it will be a vacation when compared to my previous eleven plus years at my previous place and i saw very little that disputed that nearly ideal supportive structure in the subsequent interviews... the salary is better than my last position by 20% and i can expect a 5% increase after six months if all goes well...

the work itself is similar to a position i held previously in new york state with a very big difference... an icf administrator is responsible for all operations of an icf, an intermediate care facility and in new york i had minimal assistance and that assistance was people who were also responsible for direct patient care... but here there is a nine person management team that i supervise with a designated person who does scheduling, another who does overall programming, three who manage clinical services including treatment plan meetings, goals, and chart reviews, a director of nursing, who has an assistant, a dietary manager (with dedicated dietary staff so direct care staff do not have kitchen duties), a social worker managing social services, and then others i have yet to meet who provided auxiliary services like maintenance, vehicle and equipment maintenance, and more... up north back in the day i had no actual assistants or management team under me, so this sounds like a wonderful organizational structure that developed over the years to serve the people served in an icf...

simply, it presents as a wonderful opportunity on almost every level, a position i feel comfortable stepping into, and the first job i actually wanted... and one of the best things is that after spending several hours on three different days interviewing at the facility itself and observing the people i got no sense of the high-pressure burn out level of workload, the personal vindictiveness, and depressingly paranoid environment i left behind last year at this place... yay for top management and a boss without psychiatric issues lol (ah, sweet laughter at the scars... i suppose i survived, aye?)...

now all i need to do is pass all the screenings and checks that come with such positions in the health care field (same screenings and checks i've been through every few years without issues) and i shall hopefully be starting in a few weeks... so even as i am loving the extended vacation, i am actually excited about this new chapter in this life...

thanks for all the positivity you've sent... here's the update we've been hoping for :)

cards fun again

it's been a couple of weeks since the last card party what with the softball world series week in washington and the past week of house and job stuff, so it was much fun to get out and play and while winning isn't everything for me, it was also fun to win the long game (21 rounds) of oh hell (by just 4 points, 186 to 182 in the last hand) and the game of partner spades (520-260, though one of the players on the other team was just learning the game)... i don't usually remember the scores, but i think my missing the playing and numbers (cuz i so love statistics and numbers and one of the other players loves statistics too so we studied the score sheet and the stats in the scoring app we use so they stuck in my head)... the numbers are more fun than the winning, but the most fun is the socializing, joking, and being with friends... and the snacks, the snacks are fun too :)

hope you find some social fun in your life too :)

friday the thirteenth

i didn't even realize the date until now... but that (the date and day coinciding) is not what makes today different or special or eerie or anything in particular, nope... and this being the five thousand one hundredth (yes, 5,100th) entry in this blog is not what highlights this entry more than most any other entry in recent memory (or the last year or more, even, i suppose)... i didn't break an ankle or pull a muscle or fall in love or anything particularly dramatic to record here in this relatively daily life as i live it blog (even during this time away that we've been experiencing the past six weeks or so)... no this particular friday the that just happens to be the thirteenth day of september in this thirteenth year of this century and millenium is the day i was offered a new job, even more, what appears to be a job i just may stick with for a while...

yeah, a telephone offer came in today... the third levels of interviews (four of them) were completed yesterday afternoon and the eleven people who interviewed me made the decision this morning... i just got off the phone with their hr department and next week i start the paperwork process of hiring, background checks, and so on... then orientations finally, if all goes well and it should since i've worked in the state for more than a decade and have been through state and federal background screenings every couple of years without any issues, i get the keys and the job...

it is a job i have done before, an intermediate care facility administrator, and while it is 24/7 and can be a great challenge, it is a challenge i enjoy and the pay is fair, which is good for this area and more than i was making in my last position but the best thing of all is i sense the organization (including my direct supervisor) cares and actualizes teamwork and even nurtures it's employees and senior management (there is lots of longevity), which will be so very much the opposite of the last place where staff at every level, especially senior management, were treated with disrespect and pushed way beyond any fair limits on a regular basis)... so the bottom line is this job is more than i was expecting to the point of being a surprising... i guess it shows that patience and knowing what i can do and not panicking just may pay off in the end...

i'll let you know some time next year if i am lucky to have found this opportunity after sending out less than a half dozen resumes in the past year and only going on a few interviews, but i think it's fair to say that today has not been unlucky for me...

now to enjoy these last few weeks of extended vacation as much as possible, aye? :)

firing synapses

ok, so as i said in the previous entry that has not been uploaded yet so it's not actually linked here and in fact, it is not actually the previous entry i refer to (but the previous entry that was the previous entry at the moment is still vital to the continued existence of the human race as is the entry before that one, at least for now... anyway, the whole idea of getting some sleep did not work out too well, so, as i said in that elusive (but carefully linked above) previous entry, i babbled... the fans of the babbling may rejoice... no kidding, look, see?... i babbled... it may be nothing compared to the babbling i once did when i had time and inspiration to see babbling as an art form, but i did see how it was done once...

the interview went well, more later, sleep now :)

wired brain

ok, so the whole idea of getting some sleep is not working out too well, so i babbled... the fans of the babbling may rejoice... no kidding, look, see?... i babbled... it may be nothing compared to the babbling i once did when i had time and inspiration to see babbling as an art form, but i did see how it was done once... what?... i don't know, i think i nodded off...

maybe i can sleep a little bit in the recliner and wake refreshed? :)

must sleep, aye?

so i really ought to be brief but... but yes (oh dear, a double but... this does not bode well for brief), i must be awake and showered and dressed and out the door in about four hours and here i am, wandering around facebook catching up on the news... fool, i am... and i've been continuing to add to the blogs mentioned (and conveniently linked) in this entry here, so there's plenty of hard-nosed oddball reading for you in the written gardens if you have the stamina and will to click and click again (some of it ain't for the timid though, so consider yourself warned and all, aye?)... but facebook has distracted me from getting sleep tonight which was the plan after showering after getting home from gators after the softball game (we won 25-8) after hanging with jackson after waking up some time yesterday afternoon, but the best laid plans and all so as you might have noticed (or perhaps i mentioned), fool i am... but a fool with a whole lot to say about thing or two or few, apparently... for instance, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, or something like that... i mean, if you feel like finding out what the incorrigibly enigmatic (and silly) Bugs Webbot has been doing on the facebook tonight, that is... meanwhile, i could be researching the company i am interviewing with tomorrow, or getting some sleep... luckily i have a code red for the morning...

so ok, i wandered off and i reviewed some of the online information about the company and i liked what i read more than any other of the two jobs i've considered since last year (getting more serious about actually wanting an income, aye?... ah, it certainly does appear that i was most serious way back in my first childhood (as you may know, i've had several, at least) when i would gleefully sing i won't grow up but at least i have somehow managed to convince others, as in employers, to help me pay my bills along the way)... so maybe i actually do want to convince the people i meet tomorrow that i am the best candidate for them... so maybe i really ought to get some sleep...

so nite nite :)

up all night

yes, cuz i was preoccupied and i didn't even keep track of the time going by and i almost don't remember anything i might have done (some writing in blogs, no doubt, moods and broods and froods and toods and snoods and who cares and the tv was on but i didn't notice the repeating sportcenters droning past in the background and after fifteen months i almost remembered what it's about... or something like that...

froods?... really?... lol, lam... narf :)

fifteen months

though i actually worked almost three of them, i have not worked (as in had a job) in fifteen months... that's the good news, as i've been enjoying almost every moment of this extended vacation (or mini-retirement, depending on perspective)... the not so good news (as noted by the budget director, who has regained some consciousness (the drugs must be wearing off) and is banging on the closet door {he must have gotten out of the ropes and chains) is that there has been no income for twelve of these ever so treasured fifteen months... responsible journalism, or simply good sense, suggests i let the budget director out and get back to an income producing life since no one has offered me a million dollars a year to smile at them (i would have come out of mini-retirement for that offer, even for less) and that is where i am heading (as mentioned in recent posts, the job search is finally actually beginning this week, i think {ummm, hope? lol lam... ok, seriously, uh-huh}, especially if i do not get the administrator position i am interviewing for this week)... must remain hopeful and positive...

confident and cheerful too, aye? :)

another thing i did fifteen months ago was start record of a life which was, in some part of my mind that has not stepped up and followed through, destined to replace this blog as this blog mostly replaced TheReal™ and that almost completely replaced behind the candoor and that sort of replaced planet candora (even though none of those blogs have actually ever been concluded or closed, they stopped being the daily blog)... ah, history, who remembers (and more important, who wants to remember?)... anyway, tonight i caught up a bit with that blog i started fifteen months ago that was sorta kinda actually meant to be a record of a life (maybe even this one i loosely call mine) and you might enjoy reading the last four or five entries that i added there tonight, especially since i have been so long gone from this dear (e)thereal blog...

it's still a wonderful life, wherever/however i record it, and i'm glad you are part of it :)

and that could have gone better

the phone interview was not all that professional and hopefully that does not reflect poorly on my chances for the position... first, i waited thirty minutes before i called them... connecting to the recruiter, she said she had tried my number a few times and it was busy... i apologized knowing i have a fully charged phone with a good signal that is working fine and she said it is probably her phone system that has glitches... but she already put my file away so it was awkward as she was retrieving it again... so their corporate office, at least as far as HR goes, does not seem as professional and organized and impressive as the vice president who interviewed me was... i don't think we ever never fully recovered from that, though there was laughter and she was apologetic...

she asked the same questions the VP asked, but i got the sense that she was rushing... without facial cues, i don't think we ever truly connected and got no feedback from her... there was no conversation, just questions and answers and my answers were brief and not as complete as i'd have liked... beyond the sense of being rushed and no feedback or follow up questions, i should have had prepared better, writing out a cheat sheet of bullet points that would sell me better... why am i the right person for the job, especially... i left out key points that would have made me a much better candidate for the position than the brief single answers i gave...

still, though redundant and awkward, the hope is this one twenty minute phone interview will not undermine the two and a half hour plus interview too much and the rest of the face to face interviews on thursday will go much better than these twenty minutes... staying positive and look - right back here updating daily life just like i used to (aren't we all sorts of excited and pleased and wonder-filled now? lol lam :)

hey, the job search has just almost really officially begun, so no worries and stay positive and all that cheerful successful mind-set stuff, right?... of course right, even if only you few silent far away friends are the only ones to know... posterity will cheer us all for the challenges and foibles we've found and created in this life and we shall all have a wonderful time someday filled will laughter and tears of joy and love and fun...

promise :)

it's that special?

yes, with all the church lady cat-scratch sarcasm (or biting or whatever it is she puts into it, though without the holy judgments)... i wander off from this relatively constant writing record of life for a bit (referencing the past month where august saw the fewest entries in years and this month has started out even slower) and all hell breaks loose in all different directions in this living space (of course i don't mean the world, but the war mongers out there seem to be building and selling yet another reason to bomb another country... when will be ever learn)... i refer to what this blog is mostly about, the daily life i experience mostly daily...

my stuff is much more positive than jackson's, alas, as she is facing the potential end of a relationship with sanford (my gut is telling me it is for the best even though sanford is nice... i've come to the conclusion that i don't think sanford is the right person for jackson... but i will support whatever she (and they, wherein may be my reasoning as decisions appear to be quite one way as is sometimes the case when there is a large age gap and very different developmental responsibility set between two people as sanford has grown children and a teen at home, a house, seniority in a career, and more and jackson is just starting out her career without any of those responsibilities or major life experiences) decide... i wish she was not hurting so much... she deserves so much better...

as if that was not enough, her thankless job is pressuring her to do even more (because that is how the human services field works and why so many capable professionals burn out or just leave the field... except for the lucky (and highly skilled) few who have the business and clinical skills to become successful independent practitioners (and jackson's not there yet and hates the business side), like teachers, the constant pressure to do more is always on while the pay sucks (like half of what teachers make and teachers do not get a fair wage for the time and energy and value they provide, but that's another story)... i think she should seriously consider finding another job, but again, whatever she decides will have my full (and by full, i include financial for as long as i am able) support as it always has...

which brings me to my stuff breaking loose (the financial connection)... covering almost all of the home bills including lots of food the past year and a half while not having any job income has been quite a drain on savings and i am past the imaginary red line i drew for myself last year so the job search is almost ready to start becoming a daily job in and of itself (which was expected around this time, this time being after the summer this year)... i sent out a couple of resumes and i am in the second stage process for one of the positions (icf administrator) as i await a phone interview with their recruiter/hr today and have another series of interviews with top management on thursday (and a haircut scheduled for tomorrow evening, for those of you who have seen how while my hair grows)... the first interview with the vp went well with lots of interactive conversation, eye contact, and smiles and it lasted just over two and a half hours, which is always a good sign... i was also her last first round interview which leaves me fresh at the top of her memory... and within 24 hours (or less) the call came to set up the second series of interviews for this week... only a few usually get the call back, don't get too hopeful, only one person gets chose for these higher pay administrator positions and lots apply... but it's still better than not getting a call back...

and softball is looking up... going into last week i was not sure if i would have any softball other than the two sunday leagues but the wednesday team was confirmed at the last minute (the league started last week so we will have a make-up double header somewhere along the way) and just today a new thursday team contacted me and we start this thursday... the friday two-leagues seem to still be in hiatus, but maybe there will be a last minute resurrection (it is a church league, after all)... but at least i will have four teams so a minimum of four games each week for the next few months... add that new job and this might be a wonderfully challenging and busy (and financially much more comfortable) fall season...

the sunday morning league, fresh off our world series week (if i have not mentioned it much during this pause in daily blogging, maybe some catch up will happen eventually), started off with a bang... while it was not without the usual frustrations of some laziness, lack of effort, and sloppy play, we won our first two games yesterday... a double header starting with last year's champs and we won 10-1 (and should have shut them out)... the second game we won even bigger, 19-3 going into the last inning and sloppy goofing off play let them get a bunch of runs, but it was still a big win... we are the favorites to win the championship now and hopefully these kids can handle that pressure...

i pitched well, but was not hitting well... a few rbi on sac flies and a bases clearing double with bases loaded, but all in all not a good hitting day... that carried over into the afternoon league game against the champs from the past two or three seasons (they've gone undefeated the last few seasons and should really be in a more competitive league, though they appear to have lost some of their better players and are beatable now)... unfortunately, the rest of the team hit almost as poorly and we lost 8-5... not sure what is going on with the afternoon team, everybody seems to be playing way under their skill level... i think it's lack of practice, most have families and play only once (a few twice) a week and they don't get to batting cages or practice... i was drained from the first two games, it was near 90 degrees and the sun baked me, so i was not putting energy into motivating and cheering but i can't always be the one and it was a blah dugout most of the game... anyway, we will hopefully snap out of it and have more energy and more fun next week...

overall though, it's a end of summer full of changes around here and while some of the changes hurt, changes are always opportunity for learning and potential excitement for something new and beautiful and so, the excitement continues to build (and who remembers that old reference, aye?) and life continues to be anything but boring...

and that's the catch up entry and hopefully the mood to write will return more often as the seasons slowly change (still weeks away here though, but memories of changing colors and falling leaves are still beautiful)... time to take a quick walk with happiness before the phone interview... make your day and week and month and season beautiful and fun, no matter what :)

not yet

that is, i am not back yet... i might be if sitting was more comfortable, but sitting is a pain in the butt and typing is a pain in the neck and even if it wasn't the brain is somewhere else these days... watching thunderstorms and playing with happiness, and perhaps preparing for the shift back into the job market and professional world of health care administration (oh, how the mighty tidy whities have fallen, or something like that... imagine, no more full seven day weeks of leisure and merriment, how can life be so unfair?... something to do with voodoo economics and wanting to be fair and care and share, perhaps... life is unfair to those who want to be fair?)...

anyway, this entry shall be brief as this... or this... or that... i've been reading facebook and the internet for a few hours and all of my sitting and typing time is used up for now... but because the hope that you still exist and care and want to know still survives somehow amidst all this silence (oh, the drama, aye?), i leave you with some of tonight's reading about politics or eroding rights... among some other things...

wishing you well, if you are out there... and hoping for more when i return...

nite nite :)

home again (of sorts)

pondering home and such as i am partially unpacked and have done laundry but still have sorting to do... apparently still not in a writing mood and not quite sure why, though possibly it may be partially due to not wanting to think about some things, like nobody in the immediate daily life caring about me enough to see the self-destructive ways i am practicing daily (it's the usual haphazard eating and lack of daily exercise and extra 30 pounds and drainage of savings and indirect apathetic self-sacrifice and normal human stuff like most everybody else) just to have some social life and sharing, however superficial it may be... and then there's the lonelies, which are easy to get in a relatively silent blog ya know...

besides all that, maybe the biggest and definitely most visceral reason i have been writing less is that the neck and butt do not want me to sit at the laptop... yes, sitting at the laptop is a pain in the neck and ass, cliche as that may sound... the dvr provides some distraction as i caught up on reruns of haven and heroes and dead like me and the river and watch a half dozen or so current shows (futurama, under the dome, rizzoli & isles, perception, unforgettable, major crimes {jackson likes this one), and maybe a few others) whenever i feel like it cuz that's what a dvr allows...

and how are you? :)