where's the shower?

that is where i am heading... just waking, yes, just waking... talk about catching up on sleep... sheeesh... hope my heart is ok... i recall a dream of manic panic over losing track of time and not going to work at 11am when i was supposed to (in the dream) and skipping the whole day on monday... odd dream... self-destructive fears rising perhaps, or testing, what would happen if i did the worst, no call no show... but why even wonder when that is not my intention... something in the psyche wanting unconditional love and trust and forgiveness, no doubt... and no doubt that is not work life even in my new wonderful environment... so anyway, it was an interesting extra seven hours of sleep, aye?...

yeah, actually, eight... i fell asleep shortly after the last entry which would have given me four hours sleep if it was a regular work dy but as a day off i slept an additional eight hours and now, blurry but happy, the body is a bit woozy and slight chest pain for the first few moments of sitting up (the same i have experienced since i was a teenager and i think it's cuz i wake too fast and the brain sends adrenaline or something too suddenly to the heart cuz the brain am just way too excited to head out into the external world... wonder how the heart will continue handling that as it ages...

yeah, stress test is wise next time i get health insurance again... the last one was four or five years ago and the cardiologist walked out irritated with the results saying i am wasting his time (cuz i pushed the heart rate past 170 without any problems)... still, the routine testing every four or five years or so is medically wise... time for another colonoscopy too... after i get health insurance again... isn't this a fun entry?... waking up serious, perhaps...

where's that shower, anyway? :)