yeah, so, what?

as opposed to so what? inferring something does not matter, this title is suggesting something does matter and asks, what is it, what does it matter, and what are we going to do about it?... me, that is, since i am the one to do something about it... of course someone could stumble along to find these words and decide to lend a hand... what else do introspective altruistic rich people with hearts of gold and an aversion to playing the human games have to do in the mornings, after all... so somebody might be sitting in their comfy living space reading random blogs and come across this one pathetic plea for attention and assistance and they will be inspired to pick up the phone and call 407-325-1482 and offer me a job... or maybe even adopt me (it's about as likely as finding the one right for me romantically so we can in fall in love and live happily ever after, after all)... yeah, these dreams...

i am pretty certain that it is not actually my intention to drive you away with all this whining and complaining... it is just real, ya know, what this blog is supposed to be about, me sharing me for real... and it is not all pretty and hunky dory and coming up roses and whatever other happiness reference we might come up with, in spite of my strangely alien inner stability... i have created serious challenges for myself in this life a few times, at least, and we can figure out why if you want to when we have more time to share, but for now i just must let it all out and muddle through and get to the next resolution and solution and secure place in this life (not that anything is ever secure)...

meanwhile, i am feeling the waves of loneliness rising higher and higher... sigh and all...

that's what...