strange life times

and if you are interested and do not let me know, what's the point of being interested... if you are afraid we might die tomorrow, why wait to jump into serious sharing?... and if you care and don't ask to know me, do you really care?... and if our conversations never happen, what was the point of smiling in the first place... and if it is my projection of awareness of carelessness with life that keeps the living aware away, then so be it... one who cares enough will find a way to me... so no one is interested today...

oh, you know what i mean, whatever it is...

still, i wander out somewhere most every night, almost, even though i am not planning as much on my calendar as i did for a while last year... but no one initiates the step closer... age, belly, whatever - the brakes come on fast are a few personal details are shared, usually age... everybody's so afraid of dying, no one seems to have the guts to live...

worked until past seven thirty today (after going in before seven on the am side of the dial) even though there was a game night starting at seven (on the pm side of the time keeping mechanism) and so substantial work got done and the evening was fun as well and after the regular game night, four of us drove over to a late night afyer-game game night and more fun was had, even as everyone was falling asleep...

where are the nocturnal people, anyway?...

out at home or something, having fun and so on... most probably oblivious to my existence as i am relatively unaware of theirs, except in my dreams, so keep the faith and hope alive and bring your best to every moment for you never know when someone might come along who might be interested enough to let youn know... and oh the places we may go then...

make it fun :)