part three (sorta)

it was not tv's craig ferguson bring me mila kunis that is distracting me at the moment (what's that name game he's got on the tv right now?) and being the middle of the night where i am and it having been thansksgiving the night before the stillness (or is it silence?) on facebook is not distracting me so what is distracting me and am i distracted and we could turn on rosewood and have that beautiful body distract me as i choose between the shows currently on the dvr that i watch and jackson does not watch because i try not to watch the shows she watches so we can enjoy them together but i sometimes do watch those shows before she does because she doesn't have time to watch tv more than a half hour to an hour one or two nights and week which is why we have more than 90% full dvr most of the time which prompts me to consider the enhanced dvr which has three times the space or so i am told but not until i get an income producing job again so here we are...

wherever this is (or might have been)...

narf :)

before july ended

in the final hours of the month of july in the year two thousand and fifteen a dozen or so entries were written to fill the gap of ten days that happened, look, it happened and we can't change that, although you'd never know if you weren't here or there then and i didn't mention it, but whatever the flow shall continue until every last line is written and every last word is squeezed out of the mind of the author of the blog you are reading... it was only chance that i am here with you today for another chance might have lead me to being in theatre as i am the most amazing actor you will ever see which only comes up because hayden has a body i'd love to make love to even if it was fake acting but then she is just one of many like mila and milla and you know the list libbo loves as if there was another life line lived somewhere out there, but rather the life lead me into health care and helping others day to day which left no time to explore the other chances and paths that might have expressed my other talents and genius, but you know what could have been because, well, you know...

laughing all the way :)

stunt doubles needn't apply

yes, though not meaning macho bravado that some might read into the title, the fact is i do all of my own stunts... that's right, i take my own risks and while i make every effort to look before most of my leaps, i wonld not ask anyone to take a leak i wouldn't take for myself... of course i meant leap and intentionally planted the typo for the effect, defusing the potential macho reading and of course, that humor thing... no seriously, you don't have to love me blindly to appreciate this blog, but it might help... i am in show biz, after all... and i don't even charge for the free publicity... i've always felt that guest should sit naked between live prude girls, i mean, if you really want to maximize the awkward effect... or the girls should be naked and of course, no one should pay any attention to that or mention it even a little... i mean, as if for no apparent reason, whatever happened to stevie nelson, anyway?...

so i would provide an awkward pause but milana vayntrub is not around and we could even settle for her blonde friend, but she's taking a shower and we wouldn't want to get the blog wet (besides, she's naked and who'd want to see that, right?)... and if you haven't quite lost your mind yet, you might allow room for james corbin into your (yeah, i miss him too) craig ferguson space (what, another mila?... milla might be upset if she wasn't happily married... you can stop starting rumors now... kunis and jovovich both appreciate it...

narf :)

meanwhile, between her legs

so there they were, tom hanks and james corbin talking about manspreading on the first late late show james corbin hosted with mila kunis sitting metween them and james foolishly tells mila not to join in which was his first mistake, but perhaps he is gay reaching for a gay audience (it's tough to tell with him being british, after all), but what is most shocking is how motherhood (or ashton) has taken it's toll on the darling innocent sensuality of mila as she sat between the two men spreading their legs... it is sad what releasing a human being from between her legs can do to a girl... yeah, i said it, alas, this has dropped her down the libbo ladder even if i don't update the website tonight because i am too lazy too even if the internet was not down (yes, brighthouse has failed us once again)... if you are not distracted (or dusgusted) enough yet, welcome to the machine and thank you for your tolerance... can i offend your religion next?...

hump that body baby, hump, hump, yeah yeah, hump that body baby, you know how to move it move it, hump that body baby, hump hump, yeah yeah, hump that body baby, you know how to groove it, you know that was coming, what else rhymes with move it, hump that body baby, goose goose goose it, hump that body baby, all night long...

you don't have to be british to be easily embarrassed...

narf :)

following craig

maybe the luckiest guy in show business this week is james corbin who, with the help of meryl streep, arnold schwartznegger, jay leno, and a host of other famous people, was introduced to the late late show and with no less than tom hanks and mila kunis as his guests... needless to say i stayed awake to masturbate...

oh sure, you aren't laughing because you are embarrassed, but no worries, you are quietly sitting in your home where nobody knows except me and i am the one writing this, so what me worry?...

seriously, they don't know what they are missing...

what?...

hello ukraine!

i suppose i could have said good morning, in a robinesque style, but this entry was started last night so it is only now that the thought comes to be interjected into this as it is... anyway, exploding numbers arrive from far away... page views, that is... more than 2500 page views in the past few days from the ukraine... must have a ukrainian girlfiend now too... another secret admirer just can't get enough of me... it's a wonderful thing, you know... such popularity... such devotion... such randomness... what?... massive amounts (copius, even) of visits from the ukraine aside, random thoughts (like is tumbler forgotten or what?) fill the cranial capacitors at the moment so perhaps that energy influxing from whatever or whomever is kicking up the stats for this blog is infiltrating the hypothalmus and inciting a riot of sorts in the creative juice machine between the ears of the head in which the consciousness i loosely call me resides, at least for the moment... i mean, what it we looked up the word atheist in this blog, or random, truth, or sex (pickle?), for that matter... would it teach us anything about the price of rice in china (or the price of china in bangladesh, for that matter... can you buy china in bangladesh?... do they still need a benefit concert?... how far behind the times are we, not watching the news and all, anyway?... do we really want to know?... don't be sad, be happy, no worries, ya know?)... stat stats?...

words, like everything else, are relative... like the difference between strange and stranger (not withstanding strangest), for instance... diverging paths along semantic lines are one of the favorite amusements we will find here in these rambles, as if you didn't know (why do you think you keep coming back?... oh, wait, it's because you love me, right?... thanks, i love you too, but wouldn't ya rather be irreverent (irreverence?... seriously?... i mean, serious irreverence or irreverent seriousness?... semantics matter, after all... serious) sometimes?... if only to keep the lonelies at bay... this could continue indefinitely but we have an appointment with destiny that we have been putting off for a lifetime, so take care and thanks for all the fish, or something like that... i mean, mila and milla are otherwise occupied at the moment, so stay calm and carry on and above all else, don't panic... it's only life, after all... or numbers, maybe i mean numbers... or music, for that matter... what matters is we are here now...

your attention span, long or short, is appreciated...

narf :)

i wanna foodie road trip

starting and ending here (though i must suspect any nyc foodie list that does not include ray's pizza or carnegie deli or a few other classics and shows an effort to be ethnically hip and economically diverse (and vice versa too) seems to lessen the credibility of the article so i would take the recommendations with a truckload {as opposed to a grain} of salt {but still and all, remember to put away the germophobia if you want to enjoy food anywhere... even if that has nothing to do with anything in this first sentence... what?}, but it did wake the foodie in me tonight {or whenever this might have been} in spite of recent changes in dietary habits (chocolate not withstanding), and renewed commitment to healthy living (including eating), not to mention all that not wanting anything nonsense spouted here or there or wherever, this entry immediately follows as much as a contradiction as defiance can be while still coming rather randomly, or so it seems, or something like that, la la la)...

yup, i've decided that one of my pleasure goals in this life is a foodie road trip... i'd have to do a bit of studying of the foodie shows on tv and foodie reviews in magazines (maybe i can get the brighthouse girl (hi camille) who is a serious foodie herself to come along, i mean, hello friend? lol)... yeah, well a orgasmic foodie sex trip, on the road or anywhere, would be a fine mess to get into too... feel free to send in your applications... include how many miles you are going to run every day along the way cuz that is a one of the top requirements (unless you are a libbo fantasy without exercise, which may be impossible on this trip)... maybe mila needs a break from domesticity... in any case, sex aside (or on the side, even), i will someday write the great foodie road trip entry (and perhaps the pre and post entry surrounding the whole series, a new blog, even... oh, how a boy can dream, no doubt lol lam laf laa), but for now, the idea is here, out here, germinating, gaining momentum, and attracting all the wonderful people who want to take this ride with me...

meanwhile, other preceding entries will follow...

narf :)

the doctor's eye candy

i refer to jenna coleman, of course, who has eyes so great at curious adoration and devotion that i would love to stare into her face for a few hours and find out who is behind that look of wonderment and excitement... hey, she's got a way about her, what can i say... something in the way she moves... and looks... hey, libbo is entitled to enjoy his fantasies... i mean, it's not all about milla and mila and meg, after all... it's the haliday season, after all, so natalie wood returns in miracle on 34th st to the child libbo was when he first fell in love with her... she was one of libbo's first fantasy crushes, after all, when baby libbo was just starting out exploring this body's sensuality... what?... you don't have a libido?...

anyway, it is nice to see she will be returning for another season after the tease of her possibly leaving the show... i'm looking forward to the show returning... orphan black too, and not just for the eye candy, but that sure helps... yeah, i know, some entries are mostly drivel... but maybe a few egos were stroked so it's not a waste of time...

narf :)

statutory stats (part three)

and before we get too far off on the tangential planes of wherever, whatever, and elsewhere (another title and concept and phrase and idea i register, trademark, copyright, and legalize all rights and protections under law for profitable purposes for the title phrase and concept wherever, whatever, and elsewhere right here and now in this publicly posted place for anyone, including the library of congress and us patent office and international bodies of protection for writers and creative ideas and all that jazz {not withstanding the slightly diminished capacity of the formality of this legalize by adding such phrases as all that jazz or legalize, even}, but as valid court-worthy as this parenthetic copyright statement and trademark and registration is, that was not the point of this particular entry {or the other two either, for that matter} because, as i was saying, i would have titled this entry that {or this} if i was in the least bit in the mood to reasonable write flambpoyant rhteorical meanderingly brilliant story in the vein of douglas adams, neil gaimen, shakespeare, thoreau, muir, for that matter {or rant, for that matter}, but at this moment i am not writing a wherever, whatever, and elsewhere {or statutory rap}, i am simply registering, trademarking, copyrighting, and in all ways legally protecting the phrase, concept, words, and product of the title that is wherever, whatever, and elsewhere {as i did for statutory rap a couple of entries ago in part one of this entry about stats} and that's our story and we are sticking to it... me too, even)...

so what about the stats, you ask (who asked?... i'll cook you a lasagna feast if you did... just let me know when you are coming over... and if you are mila, milla, meg, jenna, or any of a few other previously purloined pussies {cool cats, be nice}, you can get anything you want at this particular restaurant, so come on down), well, the next entry may pertain a pondering closer to the proposition posed in the previous entries, but for now masturbation is in order (oh come on, i said be nice) lol lam laa...

narf
(see next entry)

missing caffeine

starting the day with caffeine diminished my appetite and had me going twelve hours later not even realizing twelve hours went by and then after getting home another four hours of walking working washing and doing around the house stuff brought me to this (whatever that is) in spite of the fatigue of a one hundred hour week without pause (or poise microliners, for that matter) because cuteness like kelly ripa or deep sensuality like mila kunis or nonchalant adorability like meg ryan or milla jojovich or, well, this is not what i was saying but doing it feels better than sleeping so whatever is going on it is presenting these words to you even if you never find them or appreciate them if you do, amazing is in the eye of the beholder, like everything else...

sleep may be wise and even bring wisdom but sleep deprivation, like many other drugs, bring so many other possibilities... some people stop at the yellow, some choose a path less travelled, neither is right or wrong, both are as you want them to be...

the fruits of late night television are found on the craig show, in case you do not know...

narf :)

from russia with whatever

love to me love, love, but love so silent, love based only on faith, love just referred to in delusion or fantasy or self-mockery (as is the case right here in river city, or this blog, for to be slightly more precise... but just who is bill anderson, anyway?... is he mr. anderson?... when you get the references, you can exit this parentheses) and what does just sayin' really mean, anyway?... madison?... bueller?... mila?...

i was in madison once, slept on a lawn... in milwaukee i slept in the back of a car until the owner came out to his garage and woke me... they were cool, but madison had better drugs... in any case, what i meant to mean was (or is) something about stats, the numbers being the russia visits are second only to the usa visits and i only know a couple of russians while i know many hundreds of usa-ers and just where hundreds of visits cvould be coming from on either side of the pacific (or atlantic, for that matter) is anybody's guess...

sometimes i wonder if nancy grace is a control freak using fear-tactics to earn a paycheck or is it all an act?... ok, so i only wonder it on those rare occasions her commercial interrupts a show i am not dvring through, or when i forget i am watching a dvred show, but that's beside the point... as is this paragraph...

there are times when i just ramble on for distraction or for attention, which this is can be determined by sticking your finger in any bodily orifice... if you chose an orifice that is above the waste, you are likely seeking attention... if you chose an orifice below the waste, you are likely seeking distraction... if you chose an orifice that is not part of your body, you are likely seeking both and perhaps more, but in any case you should focus on your finger and stop reading now...

and to russia, with love, i thank you...

narf :)

porn is so stupid

but then again, i suppose it depends on what one is looking for in porn... if it's all about the sex and visual stimulus and meaningless hook ups then it's probably just right... i still look for story lines and character development and (shocking, i know) logic in any story i watch so just about everything on tv is pretty stupid from that perspective... paging mr. ferguson... paging mr ferguson...

maybe it's just my ego or something... there've only been a few people within touching distance in this life that inspiring me to want to sing anything like i want you to want me, after all... oh, i thought you knew... i compromise less and less as the years roll by... so i am alone again, naturally (for me at least)... and now that mila has lost herself in her childhood crush and gotten herself carrying, i've got to find another iconic model of the nearly perfect sensual fantasy, or image, actually...

by the way, i am so tired this entry would never have been written had i not written it later...

narf :)

mindless sex, or something like that

the young hollywood awards are so sad and empty, but at least there was the seriously adorable vanessa to look at for a moment, who pretty much sums it up with a vacuously cute beauty (ah, if she only had a brain, i'd be in love... but the hottie merely inspires lust and a few lines now and then, unlike mila or milla, for that matter), but sadder still is that i've been watching tv something like five nights a week, a whole lot more than i usually watch, and not just the dvr'ed stuff, but mindless drivel like these awards where the person with the most depth appears to be justin beiber... no, i am not joking... he's given more than two hundred make-a-wish kids their wish (which was to meet him, but even as easy as that is, he's way ahead of anybody else, especially his peers... the kid still has some serious faux-rebel issues, way beyond avril livigne ever went, but whatever, like, i mean, whatever, you know?)... yeah, the mind empties watching celebrity ego masturbation... and that's the way most people like it...

might as well be watching alien encounters 3... so much fear, hut, so much emptiness, hup, so much fragile superficial ego, huff, so much self-destruction, hup, so much stupidity, huff, so much humanity, hut... pretentious chimps, huff, literate apes, hup, creative orangutangs, hut, self-destructive ants, hup, sexually repressed monkeys, huff, sad bonobos, hut, insatiable viruses, hup... imbeciles, huff, idiots, hup, morons, huff, mobile mushrooms, hut, judgmental pigeons, hup, egocentric jokes, hut...

wut?... don't let it get you down, ya know?...

narf :)

va do de o dome

yeah, as in under the dome... still waiting for the holy rollers to take over the plot, but then, with stephen king potentially influencing the story line, it may be better than the stereotypical good verses evil crap most stories become... there's a fair share of stupidity in the story already (gotta have the alcohol, macho morons, teenage kisses, and penis envy) and the biggest mystery for me is whether the tv producers force an ending that makes human sense or whether stephen king gets to write it and leave us all hanging like big jim, wondering wtf?... some of king's best stories ended in wtf?...

what's missing is the sex... if only stephen king met robert heinlein, wouldn't that be a freaky friday (you've got to know their works to get that... if you want to, that is)... yes, the show needs completely unnecessary innocent nudity or at least vanessa, mila, or milla nude of the couch... meg can join them... they can use my couch... heck, they don't even need to be on the show, they could just sit here and watch with me... nude, of course... heck, they don't even need the couch, i'll be the couch...

a lot of chocolate for dessert, naturally...

narf :)

much gas tonight

but that's beside the point... ultimately, it's the brain that craves more stimulation than can be had within (even an infinite imagination gets hungry for some new meat... or greens... or curious, even... and sometimes i am curious yellow, ya falla?... fella?... ah, innocent love child sharing splendor in the grass with my freely sexual sweet swedish girlfriend, but parenthetic asides aside), the point is enjoying the minds of some others like mila or milla or craig in this world (or beyond this atmosphere) and even if they are only available on tv (or through other recorded media) at 2am or later (cuz who hasn't been wide awake at 4am without a soul in sight just hanging on the hope that the kids are alright, ya know), i simply do it (stay awake, stay awake, tonight, tonight, won't be like any night fever night fever yeah yeah yeah yeah) and i don't mean masturbate to eye candy, though that would be an olympic event for many we've never heard of (unlike the perennial hot dog eating contest winner), but all i want to do is have some fun and tonight i am hoping ingrid puts on a good sing or two... unfortunately it was one of her popier tunes and worse, the dvr screwed up and cut the song off and jumped to a segment of comedy or something like that with the usual double entendres... yes, brain food, that's why i give up sleep... and you know, kids wait up...

anyway, i didn't expect the mini-skirt, but who's complaining?...

narf :)

sleepiness comes

so i indulged in a pizza, a deep dish (sicilian) with extra cheese and pepperoni... and i ate the whole thing, believe it... emotional eating does not care when the belly is actually full, emotional eating is all about the taste buds and the taste buds are relatively insatiable so the whole pizza went down cuz not only was it super scrumptious delicious, there were redundancies involved, like majors stressors, anger, depression, loneliness, betrayal, and the usual pretense involved, at least...

even craig ferguson is still loving on mila kunis and other lecherous innuendo... and who cares, i mean, really, who cares?...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

beyond ethereal (or something like that)

lo and behold the predictable amazement, it looks like my russian girlfriend is back (which is great now that mila kunis has lost her mind, but that's another sit-com, or story), so welcome back my love to the show that is made of lots of words lots of stuff lots of links never enough, or something like that... really, mila, it will be amazing if you ever understand the connection (or continuum, in some languages) between energies (or auras in some languages) and truth (or Lubov’-eto to, shto nel’z’a pon’at holovoy, yeye nuzhno pochuvstvovat’ sercem, in some languages) so few reach (and you have that potential, if you dare), but for now you just know you live when you love and remain a sweet distraction in the visual realm of this physical world which is just a fraction of all there is... see you when you get there...

meanwhile, i shall spend time with my russian girlfriend for a while again, at least until she leaves again, as she floats between the ethereal planes as i do and as we only occasionally touches this physical so it is such a spectacularly subtle savory sort of sweetness when we both find ourselves on the same plane for a while...

you don't need to understand to continue reading and be enthralled by the amazing stories slipped between the mundane details and almost assinine complaints... ok, so maybe not always so almost... nyuk nyuk yourself... i mean nyuk, ya know?... perhaps these random links might provide at least a clue (or something like that)...

lol lam narf :)

you could be happy

if your face was in your hand, would you enjoy a high five?... palm face would know... when did the dodge dart become cool, sporty, or youthful?... and when cotten or toilet paper is lost in the nose, what good are the tweezers you were going to buy?... live for today, this moment, for you never know what might happen in the next nostril... just be careful, in this world, in this culture, in this fear driven day and age, when you let a child sit on your lap (especially if she wants to stradle you)... children behave (that's what they say when we're together)... why do they cover up more girl parts than boy parts, anyway?... and then, you know when you've had enough tv when tv reaches a point where even seth mcfarlane isn't funny anymore... check with your doctor to determine whether your heart is ready for sex... or war, if that's your turn on... macho men make the craziest bedfellows... what's so great about getting your butt kissed, anyway?... noses come in many colors, so do swamp monsters...

call a scientist... or seth mcfarlane... or mila kunis, if she ever gets over her childhood crush, poor thing... she could be happy (or the sweetest sex toy in the shop, even)... with respect, seriously... wait, did you take all this seriously?...

narf :)

but who really gets it?

i mean, but who really gets it?... aye?... canadians?... star-crossed lovers?... it must, it must, it must!, ya know?... what must?... is must an imperative?... or a scent?... how much scent?... fity scent?... but what if no one smells it, did it have an odor?... back to the tree, and the previous entries, even, what do you make of all this (and if it is not printed on paper, can it be a book?... (e)book?... (e)thereal?...

i mean, but who really gets it?... dunno wha? dunno?... shto?... hi mila, milla, and millenia... shall we smirk?...

narf :)

lol


lam


laa


lal


...

the month that never ends

so many potential permutations of meaning on so many levels... but the first intended may be the reference to the table of contents for this month as the next month begins, yet the entries continue to be uploaded for this month as the catch up game is playing hardball this month... so not quite like the song, cuz it does not repeat as much and actually mostly likely will end eventually, probably, but still like it sort of... for anyone interested and i continue believing you are interested (all three point seven eight of you, maybe more) and the gazillions of imaginary fans hopelessly devoted to me (cue song... or is that queue song?... whatever, let the singing commence) and the ideals we stand for (and the dreams we sleep with... and i don't mean mila even though the bed still has a pillow with her name on it... amy too, even if she's fat and old now... fuck us all if we can't take a joke, aye?... alas, seems i need a new drug, a new libido high, a new number one again... applications can be found within)...

it is as simple as this or that in fact, in fact, it could just be as simple as wiki says, ummmm, ah, whatever they say... it could be that humanity is as insane as the portrayal in insane film or story, but the real world is much more insane, really... might as well end the world with a pie fight singing we'll meet again in seventy six part harmony, aye?...

narf :)