yummy dinner, smiley night

since jackson did not see any olympics cuz she worked all day, we left the #NBCFail broadcast on the tv but her friend and i took showers and were not interested... nbc might be recording high ratings in the system they use to rate tv, but they ought to measure customer satisfaction because the internet reports are proving that would be a lot lower than the ratings... after all, we need to breath the air, but it can still smell bad...

meanwhile, dinner was good and while i am still hungry, i will attempt to not indulge in more food (i had most of a kit kat for dessert) and head to bed soon... they are heading to bed now and i may watch the us women's soccer game which is finally on the tube at this hour... strange all the other countries were on all day when we check the 'soccer channel' nbc now has set up for continuous re-runs of soccer...

hope your day was good for you :)

lazy afternoon

jackson should be home soon and her friend is cooking dinner and i am lazier than ever, bad me, blah blah blah... sure, that's great incentive to read this entry, aye?... well, it's a back entry as you may have guess cuz it's tomorrow now and we are catching up and i didn't want to cheat july since the stats are fun to play with and july was really enjoying the flood of entries {even if you might be wondering wtf so many why?} so what else is new (i am so hungry... forgot to eat cuz of the unexpected visit, earlier than planned... hey, but i am getting served so all is good lol)...

watched olympics and sports switching through the channels and we agreed that #NBCFail continues, nbc is is really surprising me with how poor their coverage is... the obvious flaw is the pretense that nobody knows the events happened hours earlier and anyone connected to the internet (as many millions are) already know the results, but there is manipulation (maybe not deliberate, maybe just poor technical skills) of views (diving, swimming, especially, but other production qualities are poor too) and the entire production across all channels it is disjointed and poorly planned... they obviously were not prepared for (maybe not even aware of) the internet age and the awareness of many viewers... the announcers even miss a lot of subtleties within the sports and they are sometimes distracted (maybe by some 'helpful copy' and miss what is going on in the games, so nbc they did a poor job of selecting commentators and are doing a poor job of feeding them information during the broadcasts)... overall there is an old school presentation that insults the intelligence of the internet educated audience... there are probably plenty of older viewers who don't notice, which they will use to get praise and justify their incompetent production, but they are showing that for sports, at least, they dinosaurs... and i'm not even mentioning how matched FOX News with arrogant abuse of power to manipulate the news as they had a british reporter banned from twitter because he was critical of the nbc production... hope my blog does not suddenly disappear now that i expressed my opinion of how #NBCFails)...

meanwhile, here at home in the real world, on to a fun evening :)

was visiting

yes, the entries from today were not uploaded until tomorrow (it makes sense if you understand blog-time or posting time in the online written gardens aka online written gardens time, just so we have language we can use ya know) cuz jackson's friend came to visit and we shall watch the olympics and chat this afternoon... she walked happiness so i must motivate myself to walk on my own more (happiness was a great excuse to get me motivated, but he's getting older and doesn't run much and gets really tired after long walks lately so i don't want to push him and besides, i must motivate myself to really exercise, yah, we know)...

so we are catching up on the day now... enjoy your afternoon :)

morning at noon

this is what happens when i let my circadian rhythm do it's own thing and add caffeine to the mix, in fact, i am nudging myself awake as i could easily lay back down and sleep another few or more hours... but i do not want to be awake all night tonight because we are having a guest here for the rest of the week and i want to respect jackson and friend's sleep schedule... cuz i love my roommate ya know...

time to wake a bit, check emails, job websites, then facebook and twitter, then shower and dress and go buy the right foot stuff so i can protect the foot and leg as i push it more this week... even if i don't play with the sunday afternoon team cuz they have enough new players now, i have three other teams much more eager to have me back starting up in a few weeks... not a moment too soon as i am becoming too sedentary... so off to do what i do, hope you enjoy what you do too today :)

i'm right here listening (reading) :)

no more caffeine

caffeine works for me, even though i drink a lot of it sometimes, i still feel the effects a lot so no more for this week, or very little...

i think i'll go to bed now lol :)

love my roommate

you would too... it's so cool to have a roommate like jackson... she has a heart of gold and is so sensitive when she is paying attention and puts up with at least half of my teasing and doesn't bite much when she's had enough... and she rested and got laundry done and watched some olympics and after nine straight days pushing her limits (and catching cold doing it), she seems like she's much better after today... hopefully that'll carry over until tomorrow... she's sleeping peacefully (i hope) now...

meanwhile, in my warped brain and ever so exciting life, i did all sorts of updating in all sorts of places in all sorts of ways... finally started sifting through photos for this blog and added bunches of entries in the sites i saw blog (where i provide you with links to at least 50% of the sites i've visited that impressed me enough to copy and paste the address - or simply remembered to even for sites i barely read) and even updated my will (shhhh, don't tell)... of course you can see the chronological list of almost all of the entries in the table of contents... and as i mentioned earlier today, there's facebook and twitter updating (posts and following and followers and such)...

yeah yeah yeah, yeah :)

evening fun

ravioli pasta (meat and cheese) with lots of cheese and yumminess and jackson brought some code red home (she really drinks way too much caffeine, which is probably the primary reason she is tired all the time - dehydrated and way off kilter inside where the caffeine messes with her sleep-awake balance and brain-body rhythms... and working so much leaves her too tired for exercise which compounds the effect... i know, i've been there, and i wish i could help her out)...

there's a kit kat waiting in the fridge... it's been there a couple of days, but i might yummy it down tonight... and tomorrow, what was that about turning up the workout and pushing the muscles and oh yeah, swinging the bat... not asking, just reminding... shop for the right foot brace and bat... get on with it... yeah, what ticket?... self-teasing sometimes works...

you having fun? :)

coasting today

sent out a few job emails, sent some jobs to friends looking for jobs, and spent some time on facebook and twitter and wandering the net... might do some more of that... facebook switched my profile to the new timeline thing and i have a learning curve to get around... the olympics have me noticing news more and browsing even more than i usually do (as you can see if you like) and this time off is getting sweeter by the day...

hope i am not upsetting or offending anybody with my relaxed work ethic... if i am, i'd be happy to discuss it if that would help... of course if my having more time to hold up my end of the discussion upsets or offends you, well, we can discuss that too... i promise to do my best not to say try to relax more than once a day...

there's a fine line between teasing and facetious, aye?... i aim to tease :)

surprise day

waking up to find jackson home is at first a hope everything's ok moment and then when i find out she's just working from home today, it's a yay for company day... though i will stay out of her way so she can get work done, it is cool to have someone to talk to now and then... and happiness is thrilled...

as for me, it's back to the job market to see what's going on in the area... and remember the foot, exercise, maybe jog a bit more than ten steps... getting laundry done yesterday, i've got no chores to do... time for olympics too :)

imagery

with thousands of images to choose from on this laptop and tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands on various other hard drives and computers here and in storage, not to mention billions of pictures on the web, it's a wonder i have not opened an photo-image blog before and it's probably a repression of my love of photography tied in with my loss of stuff and music and such but it's not time for in-depth analysis or introspection, i'm just noting that after having just a few entries in it for a few months i am finally kicking off (just a bit) the new imagery blog and while i see a dozen paths for divergence, it's a start...

and you know how it goes, yeah yeah yeah, yeah :)

quiet evening at home alone

watching some olympics, made dinner, jackson got home late as usual (she and some softball team members went out to a sports bar after the game... they won, yay... they appear to be getting along well without me so i may look for another team as i want to get back to playing but don't want to bump anybody out of their position and nobody is urging me back or even asking much... sad that i had this injury and lost the momentum and connections, but that's life and i'll keep open for the friends and connections that will fit me with as much positivity and optimism as i can muster) and she sat a moment then went to bed, that's about all we see each other these days, she so busy... she must be feeling better though, which is good...

whether passing through or stopping by for your regular visit, hope you are well and enjoying your night :)

working my way back to me, yeah

enjoying the olympics between foot and leg work... happiness and i took a few walks, but the heat slows him down at his age so no jogging with him... i did jog a bit, but more went to the gym twice and worked the fot and leg there... the main thing now is strengthening the leg muscles so i don't pull anything from the hamstring on down to the calf and achilles and the knee and ankle as well... and the foot ligaments that were torn come alone with the rest of the leg... also want to get the upper body back so i can swing the bat well without injury... so i did some upper body work but must get to batting cages to take swings... unfortunately the nearest cage is not around the corner so it'll cost gas and the cages themselves are not cheap... but i need the practice and even more, the muscles need the work... i shall go to play it again sports to get a practice weight for my bat, a heavy bat, and then i should start swinging daily even without pitches... work the muscles, yeah, that's the ticket...

would be easier and more fun if i had a friend to work out with me, especially if the friend was into softball, but jackson's been way too busy and i am not close enough to the rest of the teams, unfortunately... weird that none of the teams i am on are serious about practicing or exercising (even jackson isn't hard core), but then, i am into softball for the fun and i don't want hyper-competitive teams anymore... i just need to motivate myself to work out more and harder because i've laid off for so long because of the injury... yeah, that's the ticket...

lonely though...

and so still (still), these three entries should not be ignored (in case you are looking to leave some feedback, those are the three that would like the feedback the most of recent entries, ya see... and they kinda lead to other paths and you know)...

as the beatles said, yeah yeah yeah, yeah :)

olympics and stuff

the all-time olympic medals count is probably skewed because the USSR countries all split up and so many nations changed names too over the time of the count, but we see the dominance of the usa in the early years reflected in the counts... the last twenty years or so it's been closer and the usa was not highest in medal count each time... for what it's worth, for me, it's numbers and i love statistics and playing with numbers...

still, the last three entries should not be ignored, passing into the archives unnoticed as entries so often do when the manic multiple entries per day mood is upon us... i mean, don't be fooled by the distractions and more, the majority of simple this is what happened since the last entry entries... and make it a wonderful day too...

m'ok? :)

keep on rolling

yeah, so this blog just keeps on rolling because life keeps on rolling and even though i would like feedback on everything in this entry and some of what's in this entry and stuff in other entries too because i might have created the perfect blog post (note no link there lol lam laa) and it will slip into the previous entries archive in what amounts to the blink of an eye, especially these days when i am posting more than one blog entry a day so just imagine how much genius is flying right by without you even knowing cuz you don't have time to click and read the previous entries, even today...

and even my great new project (trying to think and create a bit more commercial content for one of my blogs and then add ads to that blog and hope {cuz i am not allowed to ask or beg or seduce or even mention that they are there) that you click on the ads, oh so very often, even, so that i might survive these income-less times of unemployment so i can continue to bring you this and dozens of other blogs for your viewing pleasures in the privacy of your home (what?... you read me at work?... elsewhere?... omigosh, and they let you live?)...

so even though i want your valuable opinion on which format is better for the budding commercial blog, i may never know because in a few hours, this entry and the links begging for attention herein will be replaced by another possibly even more ridiculous entry and hencefore (or is it thenceforth, at least at the moment of writing) be relegated to the previous entries archives that only a few golden wonderful brilliant precious few of you will click back to and read, sigh with a strong awe of appreciation...

yeah, good morning :)

slept good, on to the day... hope your sunday is spectacular :)

the long and winding road

well, besides the previous post and the ones before, dozens in the past few days in case you aren't keeping up (it's really so exciting, almost as much as beach volleyball... i wonder if it is a prerequisite that the bikini bottoms must be three sizes too small so they either become thongs or must be adjusted after each volley, but that's besides the point) and really want to, since the last entry here four more (six actually) new entries (not to mention these two, sorta) were added to these written gardens... all sorts of interesting (and random) facts about me and all sorts of things can be learned by following the long and winding road through the gardens ya know...

and the path (that is, the long and winding road through my written gardens, chronologically traveled, that is) is tracked right here (i mean, in case you forgot or got lost) in case you want to know every step i take (that is, most of the steps that are recorded in writing and uploaded to the web) cuz you are just that curious or bored or care... yeah, every now and then i spell it out for us... like i want everybody (all two thousand page views this month) to visit this blog and click on the ads when they are there (hopefully will be soon) so i can make lots of money (but i am not supposed to say this there, so i say it here)... it would be so very sweet if i could produce some income from all this babble... what if i put ads on this blog, would you click each time you visited? (i cringe at the thought of putting ads in my personal space here... i would feel so tainted, and yet, i may be ready to sell out like that... so sad)...

watching the olympics again... the tight butts of sand volleyball and then, water polo... i know, i am vulgar, crass, and perverse, at least to some people... and those are the very people who just don't understand what life is about, but don't be sad, cuz two out of three ain't bad... after all, the who sold out... really now, do you know what to take seriously and what not to, and whatnot , for that matter?... you are laughing if you do and might not be back if you don't but then, psychic does not mean fortune teller or prophesier, or soothsayer, for that matter...

enjoy the moment :)

who are we?

and are we communicating?... well, i am sending words out to you and you are reading them and every now and then one or a few of you communicate with me through comment or other means, but the stats tell me this blog might reach 2000 page views this month... 2000?... yes, 2000 page views... the odd stat is 3 comments... yes, 2000 page views and 3 comments... isn't that odd?... i mean, it makes me wonder if the page views are accurate or if they reflect actual people visiting or some web robots visiting... the top 4 referring urls account for 234 page views and the top 10 referring pages account for 307 views, so the vast majority come from pages that referred less than 7 views (which would mean something like 270 different sites sent readers here, roughly... who are these sites and how are they finding me?)... which leads me to the question - who are we and why are we meeting here like this? :)

meanwhile, so i have it recorded here for posterity, the medal count for the first day is in and the usa is third (though tied in total count for second)... china was the big winner with 4 golds (6 total) and italy second with 2 golds and 2 silvers (5 total)... the usa had 5 total, 1 gold, 2 solvers, 2 bronzes... see the rest and compare countries 2012 olympics medal counts with the full count here... and right over there on the right is - ta da - a medal count widget... there's an olympics news widget on the page where i got the medal count widget and a couple of other widgets too if you are a little bit geekish like me and like the olympics... shhhh, it's the stats that draw me in most :)

for the record and posterity and all that, some time after the olympics that medal count widget will be gone, so if you are reading this some time after the 2012 olympics and asked "what medal count widget?" while reading the previous paragraph, well, it was a temporary olympics stats thing, so never mind (nyuk nyuk, ya know?)...

so anyway, returning to the blogging world here, what's with these blogger stats anyway?... 2000 page views and 3 comments?... ok, so we've long known most of you stop in for a moment and have nothing to say which is perfectly fine - i just hope you felt your time here was worth your time here, ya know?... but even more odd and puzzling, 2000 page views with 10 sites sending about 16% of readers and the other 84% of readers coming from more than 270 other sites?... please explain :)

fun with numbers, everybody should have some :)

whatsa whatsa

whatever, aye?... jackson is feeling poorly, head cold with major congestion (so cheesy pizza was the last thing she needed, but she craved it so brought it home)... she needs clear liquids tomorrow and hopefully she will not feed the mucous and take care of herself... she feels so tired cuz she leaves the house early (7ish) and doesn't get home until late (tonight was 7ish and it was the earliest she got home all week and no saturday or sunday off this week)... so she sat and watched the olympics for a bit after dinner and then headed to bed... another early day tomorrow...

and while just like last night there is part of me (the social part) thinking maybe i should have gone out tonight, i am happy i did not because i am saving money and that must be my primary focus for now along with walking lots and healing the food and increasing gym and exercise and i got to catch up a bit with jackson and get her to take some vitamins... got to get her well...

i can feel the sniffles trying to take hold in me too so she brought home a strong bug from the conference... gonna take vitamins too... out of echinacea though... and the usa won gold in the pool, but michael phelps didn't even medal which was a surprise... lochte looks good for this olympics, but i'd like to see phelps get three medals to be have the most medals ever... he should, give he's in 10 events and the team events would be very surprising if the usa doesn't medal as they are favorites to win the gold... if he wins no individual gold though, he definitely slacked off too much as rumours are suggesting... of course those rumours could just by cya stuff by the media or usa olympic committe or whatever... think positive, usa wins... should have a women's swimming gold or silver tonight if all goes well... rah rah rah and all that...

having fun? :)

gonna pizza tonight

pizza and the olympics with jackson is the party for tonight... i decided not to go to the softball team meeting because i do not want to spend money and it's a pot luck dinner team meeting, not really a party, and i really wanted to start the olympics off with jackson cuz we both enjoy it and with her schedule she hasn't been home any night the past week (getting home after 10pm and heading straight to bed, the conference she is at is so many hours and almost two hours of driving each day)... so did some laundry and cleaned a bit and tidied and walked a lot with happiness and heading into the shower... jackson should be home with pizza in a couple of hours, so yummy fun at home tonight :)

also played and won a few games of spades... they have sixteen rating levels scored by points and loses take away points and wins earn points (not sure just how many for each or if they are different based on the ratings of opponents (which would make sense), but i reached level 2 today... people must play for hours a day to get to level 16... also at level 8 in the poker game, though scoring there is even more obscure and no idea what it means... not much into the poker much anyway, it takes too long for hands to be played... spades is my favorite card game and it's not bad online...

watched the girls volleyball team win... those girls are tall and skinny, but they have really tight butts and their shorts show those off... what can i say, i enjoy watching the human body... especially females... i like tight butts, and i cannot lie :)

and now, walk time and shower time and then, olympics and pizza time... make your time fun too :)

what to do now

mostly catching up on sleep this calm saturday with possible plans for this evening, just some chores around the house and relaxing for the next few hours then... and the olympics... jackson and i will be watching lots of olympics now that they have started... and happiness will have his extra walks (it will be an ajdustment for him and his bladder once i start working again... hopefully i won't get a job too far away that will keep me away from home for too many hours because jackson is away for at least 12 and often 15 hours a day and happiness needs to pee often cuz he's over 13 and has kidney crystals and stones and they are cool as long as he doesn't dehydrate and he doesn't dehydrate if he gets to pee often)...

swimmers are swimming now... so lots of walking for the foot/leg and happiness and the olympics... hope your day is fun too :)

what happened to sleeping in?

well, i will likely be asleep again in the next hour or few as i nodded off in this chair shortly after the last entry and woke about an hour ago and went into bed only to think they jackson had to be up around then to go to an important conference almost an hour away (she's been out the door 15+ hours every day this week and is burning out and picked up a cold from the thousands of people from all over the country in one place, poor baby) so i texted her and took happiness out and gave him his pill and ear drops and that's an adrenaline rush and a fine way to wake up...

happiness is not happy with me this week since he gets two antibiotics a day and fights those big time (and has gotten real good at holding his tongue back in his throat to block the pill and then spit it out... it's a battle of wits and wills to get him to take the pills) and the ear drops are no less fun for him, so i have to play hardball and be the dominant dog holding his head and prying his mouth open and dropping it in just right and holding his mouth closed and stimulating his throat so he will swallow and even a piece of cheese after each pill doesn't help him accept the dang thing and then the ears, well, almost the same... repeat the pill process tonight, fun fun fun, poor baby... so he sits with his back to me now like an offended cat...

and so i sit here saying good morning world waiting for the adrenaline to calm down so i can nod off again and head to bed... another three or four hours will be sweet... but if there was something fun planned with a friend to do right now, i'd be out the door to do it... and more tired later... and anyway, it's been a fun morning so far (narf :)

seriously, good morning and i hope you have even more fun than i did :)

half and half

half wanting to go to bed, half wanting to party... the closing of the olympics opening ceremony was saved a bit by fireworks, though even then i['ve seen a lot better... the spiral effect could have been played a lot more... paul mccartney sang the end of abbey road and then hey jude, ok, nothing spectacular... oh well... and then i turned on lost girl and emmanuelle vaugier was added to libboland... wow, how did i miss her over the years (she's been on tv for more than a decade in shows i've occasionally glanced at... now i want to rent some of her films, hysteria, for instance... poor libbo, i've ignored him for so long now... not much more to say, huh?...

time for a snack... not the wisest, but the easiest, leftover pasta from dinner and belly is full again... i did not make a caffeine drink or chocolate milk, just water, so at least the drink was wise as it added no more unnecessary calories at this hour... jackson got home late and has to be out early tomorrow and won't be home much this weekend so i'll stay up a bit and sleep in and will go to a party tomorrow night... there's a plan (let's see if i remember it tomorrow lam)...

sleeping well? :)

olympics, old boy

mixed feelings about the opening ceremonies... the endless parade of nations continues and nothing new there, endless procession... it would be great if some creativity could spice that part up as it goes on for so long... the prelude to the parade was not great... probably my bias as celebrating the destruction of the pristine green countryside by ripping up the grass and raising polluting towers of the industrial revolution was a big turn off and then playing a soundtrack (no live music from the country that seconded rock and roll and so much music in the last 60 years?) behind kids dancing with a techie love story somehow tossed in was artistically bare and cheesy and without concluding with a serious ecological greening, i give it one star...

did i mention waaaay too many commercial interruptions, poor production (thumbs down for video editing, sound editing, and scripting), and oh yeah, waaaaaay too many commercials... very disappointed in nbc sports...

meanwhile, a bit too much pasta (and sodium in the sauces) earlier leaves me with a headache and sitting around too much all day leaves me bloated with a neck ache... probably should have headed out to meet friends who were watching this thing at a sports bar - but then, i'd have been suggesting we do something else... could have headed to a friend's to play cards too, but now the blah head and neck suggest i just relax and let sleep come early tonight... unless i put some caffeine in the body which could relieve the head and neck... hey, it's the weekend, i ate sorta healthy all week :)

hope you enjoy your night :)

if i had a million dollars

i would buy some of these and take friends who wanted to go... but not having a thousand dollars to toss at a single evening these days, i am not going... even though the who (the band) live are an amazing group of musicians and even as old men (hey, they are older than me cha cha cha), they probably put on a great show and play better music better than 99% of the bands out there...

of course music is a matter of taste... and nobody knows what it's like in your mind :)

meanwhile, around the house, i am baking some pasta... did you ever realize the difference between baking and cooking is the same as the difference between a sheep or goat and a pigeon or dove?... ba king or coo king, think about it... ... ... ok, i know technically sheep and goats bleat in some animal sound circles (the bleat still sounds like a ba to me so there), but it's a stretched association as it is so...

hope you are having fun too, whatever you are doing :)

distractions

distracted by the internet and then the phone, smiling all the way... hey, it's friday, remember?... yeah, so i found myself exploring the crap of politics again today and thankfully, was distracted by the phone for an hour or two and a couple of happiness walks and some job exploration and about done for the day... gonna hop in the shower and cook something yummy...

just cuz i love ya and know you are curious about everything that passes through my head, here is one of the internet distractions that had me commenting on the youtube (the comments are below the video link):

propaganda, patriotism, pulp, or pap?

To make this video partisan diminishes it's message. It is not one president or party that restricts your freedom. It is government. It is religion. It is your employers right up to the corporate structures, world banks, and... are you free to take a year off to be with your family or travel, learn, and do as you please? When will you learn that your enemy is not one person or political party, your enemy is the work-class system you allowed the few with the most wealth create. Free your minds.

This could justifiably be sent to almost any President, even Lincoln if you were from the South. It is a fanfare of platitudes, a feel good pandering to emotion without definitive substance. It could be sent to any government that makes laws to restrict freedom (and every government does). Pretty well done, for what it is, but it takes a lot of ignorance not to see through it. It could have been aimed at the Patriot Act, for instance, or corporations or religion, for that matter. Free your minds.

but then, people are so afraid and so eager to blame and hate someone for so many reasons that the same words and images can be used by both sides, just as the same guns and bombs are used on both sides to kill each other in wars... some even see wisdom in stuff like this...

semi-awake, not semi-truck

no offence to big rig drivers (in fact, i considered upgrading my license to increase my job skills but decided against it... used to have a truck license, there was fun for me being on the road, but don't feel like driving trucks in traffic... meanwhile, the phone has been letting me know that people have been commenting on a facebook wall post (oh so controversy, aye?... in response to the perceived threat of religious chickens invading boston and chicago, local politicians hunkered down in trenches tossing potential libel grenades at them to keep them out... the muppets withdrew support for the chickens, the chickens retaliate with libel against the muppets toys... stay tuned for further updates on this breaking story)... ahem...

and suddenly, be back (as opposed to brb)...

another friday morning

friday mornings were sometimes my favorite weekday mornings because it meant the last workday morning for the week (in this sick workaholic world, but condemning modern culture is not what this entry was meant to be about, after all), but the past four weeks (five weeks off next tuesday, woo hoo... i am finally starting to feel like i am not working sorta and almost on a vacation, the unwinding is such a slow process... as is healing) have altered that slightly as it is more like just another morning, which is a woo hoo of a different color, but still a woo hoo :)

especially since i am heading back to bed for a morning nap :)

what's in the stats?

well, the stats tell me where in the world you come from (this month)...

• 604 Russia
• 565 United States
• 200 Romania
• 139 United Kingdom
• 60 Germany
• 17 Poland
• 14 France
• 12 Malaysia
• 8 Canada
• 4 China

and the stats tell me that there has been a substantial increase in visits over the last few months... see?...

and it tells me other stuff too, but copying and pasting the other stuff is not happening at the moment... so why the increase?... because of the increase in entries, perhaps... and does this mean regular readers are being counted more because there are more entries?... or are these visits not page counts, but visits?... no, the numbers are called page views, so that would mean one visitor might view ten pages in one visit and that's counted as ten page views... so more entries means more page views if readers are clicking through to read every page... so if there are a hundred pages in a month and a thousand page views, are there ten readers reading all one hundred pages or fewer readers reading pages more than one cuz they clicked on links or something or am i counted in that number?... well, if i am counted, i am less than 20% cuz 19% of the page views come from the chrome browser and that's the one i use... 75% come from IE or Firefox... 6% come from other browsers... maybe i should stop counting my views and see how much that drops the numbers...

in any case, there are the places you come from... and with just five days left in the month, Russia and the USA are neck and neck... Romania is third (but Romania is second in page views over the lifetime of the blog) I wonder if i have more than one reader from there... and the UK is fourth... am i telling secrets?... remember when i used to? (i mean tell the secrets and some random stuff, even old crap rap, ya know)... and Germany, just an occasional stop by perhaps, and the rest... accidental tourists, intentional readers, old friends, who knows, aye?... ah, but the numbers presented above may be in the millions for all we know, if the billionth fan was not just a delusion... nyuk nyuk, tally ho, this is how we used to flow, narf narf, tell and show, the way the garden would grow, cha cha, now you know, winds of change may start to blow, tic toc to and fro, sometimes all that's left is doh, and it's really time to go...

and that's (e)thereal :)

did i mention paying attention helps?

yeah, so i was glancing up at the mentalist and getting bleary eyed while playing online poker so after starting with a bang and winning a few hands that raised my pile to over nine thousand dollars, i slowly whittled it down to zero... since i started with about four thousand, oh well... i have more than ten thousand in the bank in the game so next time, pay attention, aye?...

i'm not really into the whole online poker thing anyway... prefer spades... so anyway, dinner was another cheeseburger and another disappointment even though it was pinker inside... weird... maybe it's my taste buds... or maybe it's the craving was for a cheeburger cheeburger juicy fried onion covered extra cheese cheese burger or even more, maybe i was craving a grilled burger... still am...

and so, it's time to say goodnight gracie... or something like that :)

paying attention helps

so all the excitement anticipated in burn notice somehow slipped right by me, probably because i was not exactly paying attention because i somehow duped myself into a discussion of religious politics or religious fast food or equal rights or hate speech or unethical religious arrogance or political bullying or something like that... in any case, as usual, such discussions leave me unsatisfied and wondering why i ever engaged in them... and jackson walked in during the last five minutes so maybe burn notice was better than the glances i noticed...

time for a game...

doing my job

well there are a more new job listings out there and i suppose i should apply even though i really wouldn't mind another month or two off to heal, rehab, and recharge... but being the responsible party, the happy idiot (as the song goes), i tap tap tap into more job applications... most take an hour or more to complete online when they don't just accept a resume... so tap tap tap...

that's my job these days, searching for and applying for jobs... and in a little while, dinner... didn't play any games today, so maybe a bit after dinner... and maybe catch Burn Notice tonight if jackson isn't into doing something else... for the moment, a break to walk some more, ready happiness? (of course he is, he never refuses a walk)...

hope you are enjoying your day too :)

imperfect pleasures

an errand or two, a couple of calls, one missed, no message, the other sales pitch for education (i gave them a lawyer's number and told them if they call again he will call them back, it usually discourages them), a text about job postings at a local social services company from a friend also looking for a job, and (shudder) taco bell... what can i say, the commercial for shrimp got to me and they didn't even have the shrimp advertised, another corporate america taco bell rip-off... yeah, i know, i could have bought nothing, but i love doritos and they did have the crappy pacific shrimp so...

so now what?... follow-up on the job referral and maybe check out what's new out there... time for the computer skills to do their thing again... make your day productive and fun too :)

blogging as a job?

why some entries receive more attention than others could be just a coincidence, random timing of a web search, or maybe even something in the content but so often the attention and comments appear to have little or nothing to do with the content no matter how much i attempt to bend it like what's his name and feel i was so clever in connecting the content in the entry or comment response...

so far this morning, with a touch of news of the world tossed in (what a sad pathetic redundant race we are, sigh), i have been exploring stats of my blogs and considering blogging as a job (which may be why this entry is entitled blogging as a job? but then, who knows, aye?... looking at things from a commercial perspective is so very different from the happy-go-lucky babbling about anything in any way i usually do... for instance, take the title of the last entry, good morning, aye?... would that be a spoof or even a serious title for a canadian morning show?... aye?...

just one more brilliant idea tossed out here without copyright, though overall everything in my blogs is copyrighted by the i wrote it and published it rule, so never mind, pay me if you use the title, so there... unless you can prove it's been used before, of course... so meanwhile, i also explored some older posts that have received lots of page visits and comments, even, and wondered why... the numbers prove that this blog is not yet commercially viable but also show that readership has gone up like a lot in the past year and a lot a lot in this year... i have no clue why... see the number of page visits for the top whatever visted pages (listed by number of page views): 273 256 185 139 77 70 46 40 and make of it what you will... seems almost random, but then, what do i know... in the past month this one has been visited 157 times, an anomaly or some sort of new attention?... does that suggest food blogging?...

i suppose i ought to take google analytics more seriously... crash course time?... anybody wanna take it with me?... or ideally, perhaps an expert ready to teach me everything has just been waiting for me to ask?... then i can stop pretending i don't know what to do and get paid for all this (what delusion?... you see something?)... you know i am not gonna start editing or organizing consciously if it's not a paying job cuz, after all, without calling it a job, it's art... purists understand and laugh...

so how is your day developing so far? :)

good morning, aye?

well, this blogging life certainly provides some delusion of sharing which fends off the loneliness, though i suppose this blog would not be considered commercially viable (like what with my made-up words and four-year-old mentality most of the time, but it certainly definitely serves it's purpose and a vital purpose it is, for me at least)...

but being that i had a nudge from an old friend to consider commercializing a blog or few (like this or this, perhaps), i checked my stats and somehow, though the why is puzzling, this site (an advertisement for social media jobs that wants $78, in case you wondered or wandered) has sent visitors 38 times in the past week... huh?... and a few others sent at least one visitor and yet i find no link to my site on their page... puzzling... and somehow this blog (not this entry, the blog) has had 68 page views in the past 24 hours... 68?... and 12 from that social media site... and the majority of my visitors are from russia and europe, how, who, why?... well, welcome :)

wonder what would happen if i put ads on the right sidebar... i cringe when i see ads on blogs, personally, but that is what allows a blogger to survive blogging sometimes... any of you want to give me feedback, that would be appreciated cuz i sure do not want to drive you away...

i suppose these stats might bore some, but if they lead me to taking some sort of income-producing activity seriously then it's well worth it for me... and then, i mean, would you rather read about colorado and other bad news like this:

colorado shooting: there were signs
drought: food prices will rise
syria: civil war
olympics: promotions, local londoners complain of costs, traffic
japan: volcano, 10K foot plume of ash
anahein: riots since saturday over police shooting
greenland: melted, first time in 123 years

but as the colorado story shows, even as we move toward a big brother society, who really pays attention anymore?... there was the mars rover story, maybe the only non-tragedy in the half hour report... there is an august 6th landing planned... but the news and life out there, you can keep it (not that i don't spend a little time exploring the internet each day, but still, it's yours... unless somebody would like to pay me for my take on it, cha cha cha :)

make today special as only you can, ok? :)

some days are strangely not there

and that kinda sorta is what yesterday felt a little like... maybe it's cuz jackson and i didn't exchange texts like we usually do... or because i didn't call or get called by anyone... or because nobody contacted me online either... and i didn't go out to interact with anyone either... i did say hello and speak briefly to a few neighbors, but perhaps the relative void of social contact and productive activity gave the day it's strangeliness...

and loneliness, alas... the last entry had links and more thought provoking potential if you have time and want to think a bit... as for me, i ought to be sleeping and while reruns of haven are on for the next few hours and i am hungry, i probably will just head to bed...

nite nite :)

day gone

day ay ay ay gone... day gone by and i wanna go home... but since i've been home just about all day, i wanna go out... or is it i'm tired and i wanna go to bed?... well, there's some song that describes what i want perfectly and someday i'll find it... then maybe i'll get around to finding what i want... somehow, that is odd... and i am a little hungry again... maybe a little snack with some late night tv...

so we come to the nearing bedtime portion of the daily blah, i mean blog... the excitement continues to build... as do cliches and borrowed phrases... and i heard Colbert is going to read from the bible tonight, so if i am awake i may check him out because, after all, a kiss is just a kiss and the last time he was quite informative... almost as informative as jon stewart, if you recall...

no seriously, rush limpaw said what?... rush limbaugh used his radio pulpit to call a woman a slut and demand she put porn movies online for him to watch?... what kind of sleezebag is that guy?...

see, this is why i try to stay away from the news... too many crazies out there...

was it good for you?...

not much more

relaxed most of the afternoon with ncis in the background and did i mention lunch was yummy cheeseburgers (yes, i finally had the cheeseburgers i have been craving for weeks, or longer, even... unfortunately, they overcooked... it is amazing how quickly lean meat cooks... i mean, they were still pink inside, not burnt or anything, but overcooked for me cuz i like burgers rare and juicy and lean meat gets past that idea moment so quickly they were not the burgers i was craving... i probably need to but regular chopped meat or sirloin and cook much more precisely... the broiler in the over probably gets too hot too slowly, heat being diffused over the large space, so next time another method is needed... the george foreman, perhaps, but ideally, a grill) and cole slaw... snack was strawberries and dinner was carrots and hummus... drinks were orange juice and grapefruit juice... who knows, i might even be healthier than i was before the three month lapse in exercise due to the foot...

speaking of the foot, it's doing better... extra walks with happiness are helping the foot (and probably helping him too) and i didn't get to the gym today but the walking more is progress and i am almost (any day now) ready to try to jog lightly on it... can softball be far behind?...

hope you enjoyed your afternoon too :)

and so then

see, because this came after the up down up excitement, and so then, or now, even, i did stuff like ate lunch, writing a potentially commercial blog post in the consumer blog that now has commercials, that is, adsense in the right margin so soon i shall be a billionaire, but no worries, i will not let the fame and fortune change me, much...

hey, look, somebody i respect told me to do it, so blame it on her... i would like her, but she keeps private so i just mention her secretly like this... she thinks i have commercial potential... all in need is an editor and presenter and manager and promoter and a billion fans paying one dollar each and i'm all set... should be all set by next week, or halloween...

so how is your day? :)

up, down, and up again

that is, i woke up and said hello to jackson who was getting in the shower and then laid back down and took a nap and just woke up again, see how clever the title was?... and now the day begins... first, happiness needs attention and a nice long mid-day walk... or is this mid-morning... ok, happiness needs a nice mid-morning walk... and some time later i shall return with even more exciting news...

is there any wonder this blog is so popular? :)

good day, good night

as previous entries recorded, today was a day busy with chores and errands and the evening was relaxing and fun... since the last entry the tv played rizzoli & isles and franklin & bash in the background while i explored online banking features and fixed my cookies at blogger so embedded comments work again and a few other things like wandering the web a bit and winning a few thousand dollars in online poker and online spades... time to check in at facebook because, like the commercial says, this is living (nyuk nyuk narf :)

hope you are living too :)

checking off the list

the list of things on the to do list of things to do, see... so today i checked off banking as i spent more than an hour at the bank moving money around, opening a savings account, setting up auto deposits, and applied for the pre-approved credit card they were trying to sell me on the phone and at the branch... i was on the phone with the bank because their text message notifications have gone haywire... i've received dozens of the same message today... the techie said it was a known issue and they are working on it... fine, hopefully the text messages stop soon...

and then i went to the post office to pick up mail and i was gonna ask why i didn't receive a bill for my po box cuz it is usually due in august but maybe i paid for two years last year or maybe they just haven't gotten around to putting the bill in my box yet (rooting for possibility #1) but i didn't get in the ridiculously long line and continued with the to do list...

the next few hours was spent wandering around the human zoo, walmart... i know, horrible stuff happens in third world countries and the usa has become a caste society largely because of walmart and the corporate america that walmart represents, but poverty is a sad and lonely warped merry go round that leads us to the lowest prices out of necessity (nice little trap they've set up for us, but that's a philosophical socio-economic discussion for another blog, at least)... almost three hundred dollars later i carry more than a dozen bags of groceries and stuff into our living space and now can eat at home for at least a two months, which is exactly what the budget needs...

the side benefit of the busy day running errands and extended wandering around the human zoo was the foot and leg got a lot of exercise and it is starting to feel less charley and more horse (or is that the other way around)... then, i heated up last night's leftovers and we had dinner and watched rizzoli & isles, which is a fairly standard formula cop show with fairly predictable plot lines and cheesy humor, but it's saving grace is great eye candy...

hope your day was productive and reasonably justifiable too (narf :}

well this was whatever it was

apparently poor puppy was feeling the effects of the cortisone shot and the antibiotic which increased his thirst and fluid intake and need to pee because he peed in his sleep... even more unfortunately, he was sleeping in jackson's bed... so i washed sheets and mattress pad this morning and i will add fabreeze and possibly other odor eliminator products to the shopping list...

and that is where i am off to now, shopping and errands... all by myself, alas, la la la...

let's make it all fun anyway :)

a bit wonky

woke a bit wonky today partly cuz i started waking at 6:30am to wake jackson up and was waking every five or ten minutes to wake her up and she wanted to sleep in (even though last night the plan was to wake at 6:30am)... finally (what?... finally what?... trying to remember since it is now 12 hours later and i apparently disappeared somehow before pressing the publish post button... oh wait, i think i may remember), she woke and went to work and me, i'm a bit wonky from the last three hours of waking and falling back to sleep every so often...

meg is helping me unwonk :)

make today unwonky! :)

monday night sci-fi

so i stayed awake to watch alphas and warehouse 13 and sometimes i wish i was not as critical as i am, but how does one turn off attention to detail and perception of continuity and story logic?... delusion, i know... i've never been much good at thatm though i can suspend reality if the continuity has few or no flaws and the story and characters are consistent... so i like alphas but see so much more it can be than the typical mutant vs normals... and i like warehouse 13, but it is a bit too contrived for must see... where are the sci-fi writers these days?... are they writing novels?... feel free to share if you know...

off to bed now, nite nite :)

good evening

headed out for chores and fun... first to take happiness to the vet where he got a cortizone shot for his itches and an antibiotic for a bacterial infection in his ears and some ear salve for a yeast infection in his ear (i think the doctor simply could not figure out whether there was a yeast or a bacterial infection and decided to treat for both, cuz she did have to take a second sample from his ear and took a long time looking at it under the microscope, but then, what do i know)... a few others tests were done and recommendations for ultrasound for his heart which has a murmur, but the ultrasound will wait... he is thirteen going on fourteen, alas, and ultrasounds are beyond the current budget for jackson and as for me, my own health care is on hold at the moment...

from the vet jackson and i went to dinner after dropping happiness off... we were going to go to cheeburger cheeburger, but they closed (what?... i haven't been there in almost a year and finally decide to indulge and they are closed?... sad)... so we went to red lobster and so much yummy... yeah, life is full of disappointments, sorrow, even deaths, eventually, but each day is still a day to celebrate as long as we can... so we came home and gave happiness his medicines and played with him and now, some relaxing with the tv and some games and good evening...

hope you enjoyed your evening too :)

facebook is sad

at least i feel sad after wandering through for a bit... i find inspirations and information and other positive stuff and laugh and smile too, but overall i find a sad as i leave mostly because i find so little of the social networking that the site is supposed to be about... that is most likely because i do not enjoy (and it probably shows) the superficial mindless banter and psuedo-drama (not to mention pretentious arrogance, rudeness, and cruelty) that has dominated online communications ever since newsgroups and chat rooms emerged from the bbs world last century, but i seldom get even a like or response to the wall posts i make and i feel like some of my posts really deserve attention not for me but for the content of the post... i find it sad that my nearly 1000 so-called friends show so little, usually no interest in stuff i find interesting, amusing, or even important...

anyway, that's why i spend just a few minutes a day there reading, clicking the like button (which i do a lot) and leaving a comment or few (which i do whenever something inspires a response, on average a few times a day)... it only takes about fifteen minutes to check in there and if i have more time, i spend that downloading pictures i like... it seems the definition of social is changing...

back out the door to the world now :)

shared weekend

this past weekend was a shared weekend and was much fun even though it cut into my self-time (self-time is important, but so is shared time and the balance has been much more heavily in favor of self-time this past month as i not working a regular job provides more than 40 extra hours of daily self-time during the monday through friday work week, so it is good to increased shared time, for sure)... and upon reflection i realized that i have neglected the rehabilitation of the foot during this past month, which is foolish and self-defeating as a good working foot and leg is important for many reasons and since i still have two working feet and legs, making the most of them would be wise...

so this weekend i took the exercise portion of physical rehabilitation more seriously and must continue to focus a lot of energy on that daily, several times a day even... without health insurance or income, i am not going to a physical therapist so i must do some research and teach myself more about rehab for a foot and leg injury like the one i am healing... that is the priority project for today... and maybe some shopping...

whatchu doin? :)

another monday morning

and the relaxation is starting to actually feel good (as opposed to the kind of numb stupor that not having enough time to actually relax long enough to feel truly rested has been for more than a decade)... i'd like another month or two, but passing on possible job openings that are currently out there is a dice roll... maybe i should play the lottery if i am starting to gamble a bit (ah, even my laughter is softer and more relaxed :)

been up about an hour or so... woke without the alarm after a nice 4 hour cycle... did i mention it was a relaxing morning?... so what else is new?

ready for sleep and then

somehow slipped into watching rendition and the human madness rose to keep me awake wanting to see how the obvious story ended... will i be surprised or will the human tragedy play out as it usually does... and just before nodding off in this chair i was full of hope (sort of)... hey, i put that video in four different blogs, so much hope, really...

so the end (of the film) was not only far fetched, but it was incomplete... what would really happen to the lives of those in the story... the cia agent goes from top secret clearance to criminal and the rest of his life is minimum wage if he is lucky?... the calls to the cell phone were never truly explained?... did the loss of the daughter change anything for the family or system?... perhaps the only logical accuracy is that the older men (and women since the story included a female senator) in power sent the younger people to their deaths... the older people in power would never risk their own lives or get their hands dirty... the real world, alas, not so hopeful...

oh well, back to my real world in the morning so i might just go to bed now... are you enjoying yourself, your night, your life, your world?... hope so :}

food, fun, and rain

after a morning walk with happiness (while jackson and her niece played at the pool), we went to cici's for pizza (mostly bread, i know, but some variety {not a lot as they had just opened}... the good news for the body is that i felt bloated from the bread faster than i used to)... and then we drove jackson's neice back to jacksonville (as far as palm bay as jackson's parents met us there) and then, back to the softball game... it was my first time out to the field since the foot injury and i didn't even know half the team and the game was cancelled before it began because of rain and oh well... i was itching to play too much to have enjoyed sitting and watching anyway...

i walked happiness again and we went to the gym afterward and then jackson vacuumed and we watched an ncis episode and we had chocolate milk and she did some work and then went to bed and i uploaded some entries and am nodding off so nite nite everybody :)

morning rises

a bit on the achy side in the legs from all the walking and bending yesterday, but that's a very good thing because it is progress getting the legs back in shape... good grief, a 5k has to be run again, eventually... and softball is just around the corner so... more walking today... lots of it... hope you do what's good for you and fun today too :)

other stuff

saturday night home after a long day out in the sun and fun and friends kiddie play date and now, rest and relax and play some spades online at spadester which is fun and sometimes challenging cuz i am playing against other actual players and not a computer and there are cutthroat four and three player games and also partner games though i'd want to get to know a partner before playing... they keep track of winning with money, play money or real money... i choose play money, though i could probably make money playing for real money but i do not like gambling so if i did it i would be doing it as a job, not for fun... for now, play money is fun and fun is why i am playing...

meanwhile, in the world around the real live space, jackson is working on getting her niece to bed as for the second night bedtime is being resisted (more vehemently and loudly than last night) and jackson wants to set boundaries for future visits so we don't have to shut down our night for the little one's bedtime whenever she visits... happiness appears to be wondering why he is shut out of the bedroom at the moment, so he curled up with me after puzzling at jackson's bedroom door... and i am listening to music-tv cuz that's what jackson left on and i don't think there is anything on saturday nights that i am interested in and i am not interested in pushing the remote buttons...

fascinating psychological drama, i know... i don't know how you can bear waiting for the next installment... you must love the mundane details of an ordinary life and even more, you must love sarcasm and sardonic irreverence like me... nyuk nyuk, aye? :)

home for the night

fun with kiddies at a friend's house (former co-worker) and surprised at how ful (i mean bloated full) i was after just a plain frank, fries, orange soda, and ice cream... extra caffeine helped cuz the body was and is feeling the walk - the longest i've been on my feet since the foot injury (at least two full hours walking and out for ten hours with about 50% on my feet throughout the day)... the body is finally healing enough for some serious rehab and now i just have to motivate myself to do the work (when there is no daily worklife to force me out for just the ordinary walking and exercise a worklife entails)... good news...

gonna sit back and relax now :)

sunshiney day

out to the world with jackson and niece, walking around lake eola and then stopped for a nathan's frank and ice cream and probably did a few more things i've already forgotten... stopping here to take care of happiness and now, out again to visit a friend who has kids for a play date... we are family today :)

nite

ok, i did it and now, return here to say good night...

nite :)

change of plans

ok, so no lost girl or alphas tonight, i will catch then in reruns some other time... adorable (niece) was just too wired and kept coming out into the living room cuz i was out there watching tv so i said good night and turned out all the lights and headed to my room and closed the door and put a towel at the base of the door so it would look like my lights were out and here we are... now if i only thought to bring a drink in here, i'd be all set (too much taco-stuff after a very bland food week has me craving water)... i can probably find tv online if i look, but music is very cool too and i have several hundred cds right next to me in here (and hundreds more in the living room i can bring in here as soon as she falls asleep and it's about time i explored music more)...

so what are you up to on this fine friday night? (97% sleeping by now, i suppose :)

enjoy it, whatever it is :)

poor jackson

it is way (like waaaaay) past her bedtime and her adorable niece is wired cuz she napped too much during the day and ate dinner late so poor jackson is sleep walking keeping one eye on the little munchkin and happiness, who is way past his bedtime already, is just trying to stay a step ahead of her... and it was a nice drive, but i caved and picked up taco bell for us on the way home so dinner was more calories than i've eaten in the past few days, at least... and caffeine (the dew)... so this little puppy is even more wired than the little munchkin... way more, actually (like waaaaay)...

alphas is on tonight after eureka and lost girl... four repeat episodes until 5am, which would be my all-nighter except that i do want to be supportive of jackson this weekend so i will push myself to sleep or else push myself awake (awakekeke awakekeke) early even if i don't sleep much... cuz we are the good people, yup, that's us :)

hope you are indulging yourself a bit too, unless you don't want to :)

made it through the week

without spending any money... ate very little, which is a good thing for the body as it would be happier on many levels without the extra pounds around the torso... definitely need some food for the weekend though (which is what i said at the start of the week, but now there's no more spaghetti and only macaroni and rice and no other proteins... anyway, i am heading out to the bank and post office and then to meet jackson to take a ride to the coast to pick up her neice who will be staying with us for the weekend... two nights of baby...

happiness is a clean puppy cuz i gave him his least favorite thing, a bath... no showerhead, just a cup, which takes longer and doesn't rinse as well so we ought to get a shower head... i used to have one but tossed it a while back and oh well, hope the slight soap resude isn't going to irritate (personally i think it's nearly impossible to get all the soap out with just a cup even after rinsing him for ten minutes and like a hundred cup fulls)... anyway, he's a cleaner puppy... now he needs some anti-itch cream...

and it's time for me to head out to take care of some errands and then meet jackson... of course i was just tagging along, but still, it'll fun to be in the passenger seat and see the road like i seldom see it... hope all the mundane details of this circular life are helping you sleep when you need to :)

what to do, aye?

sleeping is such a good thing to do, whyever do i not do it more often now that i have thew time... of course the question is rhetorical and the reasons are multiple, duplicle (as in duplicity, narkle), even, and this post was not meant to get into them but just for the record, i don't want to miss a thing for starters and being nocturnal, naturally, and some recent stressors, but most of all, i don't want to miss a thing... silly me...

and now, what to do, what to do... take the day off from the active job search and get into weekend mode? (the danger of job searching is it becomes a constant job and there is no day off or weekend mode)... finish the chores that were almost completed yesterday? (good idea for the chores and living space, aye?)... continue the impromptu reduction in caloric intake or pig out on yummies and comfort foods? (i so rarely remember dreaming but so remember dreaming of chocolate mousse, mounds and mounds of chocolate mousse... and bacon cheeseburgers drenched in cheese and bacon... i also dreamed i found true love (wanna see my latest hello message on orlandofriends {an apparently dead local site}?... sigh, will i ever find anyone actually compatible with all of my strangeness and oddities {yes, i have both, at least}... or sense of humor, for that matter?... rhetorical, naturally)...

meanwhile, what to do, what to do lol lam (sleep makes life more fun too :)

after rest

like ten hours sleep rest largely due to eating nothing but carrots and a little humus yesterday but also because the ptsd may be finally easing and the stress dissipating enough to allow the brain to stop ruminating over ethical issues enough so i can let go enough so the brain can let the details of life slide into subconscious and allow the conscious mind to sleep... or something like that...

and because you simply can't get enough and don't want to miss a thing, i mention a new entry in this blogging life so you can keep up to date with the continuing written garden expansion, for what it's worth and whatever it means...

oh, yeah, and it's that time, in case you didn't notice...

shower, shave, rest

yeah, clean and then laid down for an hour or so and gonna do it again now, so there (i mean, just cuz i am not working does not mean i don't deserve the rest the body really needs after eleven plus years of pushing limits without vacation and a month of serious over-stressing and, face it, ptsd, so there, again, deal with it...

ummm, ok? :}

head, neck, ear, foot

actually, more accurately it is neck, ear, head, foot, but then, who's counting?... the neck has been aching all day since i woke, the usual nagging, and i've hardly sat down deliberately to exercise the foot and also to exercise the neck as too much sitting in the recliner at the laptop can aggravate the neck... i exercised the upper body with the 10 lb dumbbells about ten minutes every hour and that often relieves the neck pain but not today... and then the ear is louder than it's been in days as well, so i am increasing in crankiness as the hours go by... the head was hurting a little, probably from minimal food intake and no caffeine, but definitely third on the list... the good news is that the foot/leg is fourth in spite of being up and standing and walking most of the day... hooray for good news...

now if i only had the solution to the neck and ear (besides ignoring it, which i've done for years now... doctors don't seem to take it or me seriously, probably because i don't want to take their pills... doctors are way too dependent on pills, probably because they satisfy most people who accept relief of {or masking of} symptoms as a cure and tests are just more expensive every year and most doctors don't know enough to read advanced tests anyway... where is dr. house when you need him, huh?... and come to thing of it, who can afford dr. house and all the tests he runs... who pays for those, anyway?... ah, but seriously would an mri and cat scan of my ear and head and neck tell them anything?)...

told ya i was getting crankier by the hours :}

a bit of deeper ooze

is this really the real or... that is what i wonder this morning as i stop into this daily blog more to fend off the lonelies more than any other reason cuz i have stuff i really must to do today (cuz i want to more than i don't want to and i know it will be good for me to do) and i do not want to sit down and do what i did the past two days which is turn on the tv and blow off the stuff (self: shower, laundry, exercise, cleaning, $world: bank, post office, shopping, returning a couple of potential job phone calls, and more) so as i wonder what the point or worth of this e-the-real blog is (only 2600+ entries into it, narf), i simply copy and paste this message i sent an old friend about this (along with some serious babbling expansion of pondering depths and girths and navel lint, as usual) here because, well, the last entry entry (and this one too, perhaps) ought to express the primary why clearly enough (in a word, lonelies)...

of course i am also here to enhance clarity and motivate myself, but i could do that writing or thinking in private, after all, ya know?... then, out of the blue, i created two new blogs (later)...

and in the end, my mind hears a soundtrack play right on time i remember that old songs still get me back to where i belong (how can anyone not know the beatles, anyway... oh, if i only had the lost tapes life would have been and could still be so much easier to live and dance through... is it karma that took those tapes and the trust of music from me?... sigh, whatever, aye?) even if that is a lonely place realize that lonely feeds fatigue even after a good night's sleep and realizing the world is too busy to call or text at the drop of a hat when these sort of lonelies explode like a volcano so i sigh and accept and move on to my next task...

kit :}

slept about ten hours

if memory is accurate, i went to bed just before 11 and fell asleep shortly thereafter, woke at about 3am to pee and fell back to sleep within a half hour or so (rough estimate), woke again a little after 6am to pee again, fell back to sleep and then woke again about a little after 8am... so the two hour cycles were intact and that is why i am feeling refreshed this morning... on the other hand, being awake, i started cleaning the bathroom... and about halfway through a flood of the lonelies finally brought me here to write cuz this writing helps me believe i am not as alone as i feel...

stuff to do today that brings on the lonelies includes returning two phone calls (two numbers i do not know that could be jobs leads and could be sales pitches and could be wrong numbers and could be people i do not know or do know but just don't know their numbers... the baby wants a friend to hold his hand, aye?)... the reminder of pending no income in a few leads me to facing the current financial status of dropping from middle middle class to poverty level and the growing limits on social life and activities and opportunities drag me into a sad lonely place... also, cleaning the bathroom and other cleaning that prepares the space for a potential visitor leads me to realizing i am not visitor material inside even though i can fake it if opportunities arise but faking it sicks for me afterward... and this leads me to remember that the space i live in is already economy (imagine that, $850 a month without utilities is bottom economy around here... it doesn't help that i have more than $600 a month in utilities and other expenses not including food or gas/car/tolls, though cable tv and phone can be cut) and unless i get a job affording this will be tough saddens me when i know that i used to live in luxury and so many people snub economy/poverty... which leads me to laugh at myself for empowering the prejudice of class values and other people's superficial opinions... which leads me to feel even lonelier cuz i don't have a close friend nearby to laugh at me with me or to talk to (no less visit and hug) who understands the meaninglessness of superficial stuff, status, luxury stuff, and that the material world is not the measure of a person's worth no matter how much this culture puts down poverty in almost every way and brainwashes people into thinking $ = self-worth...

yeah, so all this leads me back to the long and winding road, alone, but much happier now that i remember that i do not want to be part of the superficial material world even if that means i am alone... so i sigh and go back to cleaning the bathroom now, alone, but laughing at the futility of living outside one's own head...

so how was your morning/day/evening so far? :)

time for sleep

yes, waking before sunrise may be the change that is needed... i am about ready to head to bed... jackson's home safe and happiness is happy and they are already in bed... the brain wants to stop being conscious now :)

thank you for being out there - hope you have a great day and/or night too :)

curled up on the couch

happiness came over for attention so i laid down on the couch and invited him up and he not only jumped up but climbed on top of me for cuddling attention and after about an hour i slide out and he napped leaning up against me for another hour then moved to my feet and napped a bit more... it does appear he is missing his mom and wanting physical reassurance of being loved... so life, whatever it is, can wait another day...

hope your day feels good for you too :)

research and tv

more information about doggie itches and causes and remedies with background tv playing odd morning fare including the bee movie which was so formula that it was boring, or maybe i wasn't paying attention... anyway, while there were plans to bget out and take care of a few things today, i may be giving happiness extra attention just in case anxiety is part of the problem...

meanwhile, i am hungry... leftover spaghetti and melted assorted cheeses it is then... perhaps i will shop for food so i can have some variety tomorrow... happiness is more important than chores, after all... hope your day is productive for you too :)

the research is in, sort of

more on happiness (our itchy old puppy)... rather than retype everything i just sent to jackson, i will cut and past it below... in the process, i learned how to sent a text via email from my phone and also learned how to create and send an email from my phone while pasting text copied text from a text... yay for learning... yeah, i know, it is amazing how much simple stuff i have never explored in spite of my relatively advanced techie experience and education... there are probably eleven year olds more knowledgeable than i am on most tech, alas, i am becoming a dinosaur...

anyway, the below follows up on info included in the previous two posts about happiness having a very itchy night, enough to wake me with the noise of his scratching, panting, moaning, whining, and jingling collar... and so i did research and here is the research on doggie itching...

Now that I am up he seems to be at it nonstop. Ears and groin and tail and butt primarily but mostly everywhere. This is what I found in my research. These reasons are listed most often.

MOST SKIN PROBLEMS ARE NOT EMERGENCIES (just thought I would start with that lol :)

Anxiety is one of the six which could explain why it is much worse the first night you are away. (It has been but I just have not noticed as much or told you details cuz it always got better the second night).

Allergies to food or mold or something else. Not enough fatty acid in diet can be a cause. Also wheat and other foods. Ears rump back of legs and undersurface. We just had the carpet cleaned so mold or dirt is prob not it. But the residual soap could be a factor. Also pollen when the itching is seasonal.

Fleas ticks chiggers parasites. Mites can't be seen and can be in ears and butts and groin. Fleas and ticks we would prob notice so we need to inspect more closely more often. He may have flea allergy as it is red pimple-like bumps on the base of tail back of rear legs and inner thighs that continues after fleas are dead. Mites lead to manger and he doesn't show signal of that.

Dermatitis can come from his peeing on his paws and then spread by scratching. Must check between paws. Around his penis could be dermatitis.

Yeast infection could be in ears.

Folliculitis is a bacterial infection and the groin area and looks like the photo of it sometimes when he licks too much.

Color changes can be a sign of hormone issues.

Lupus can cause skin disorders and kidney problems. Doubt he has it but something for the vet to test for.

Anal sac disease. The sacs release a foul-smelling substance. The sacs can be removed, but that's expensive surgery last resort stuff.

Ok, so that gives you a good start for the next vet appt . No worries about anything serious. He is just very uncomfortable.

Good morning :)

Further research tells me that he definitely has full anal glands and does not empty them himself routinely due to age and diet. This is likely causing some if the itching and also the smells. It is recommended that the glands be expressed monthly. The instructions on the web are straight forward but probably better if the vet shows us. Many groomers do it as a routine part of dog grooming. Often it is done prior to a bath as the stuff is powerfully bad smelling worse than poop and will longer on carpets and hands and clothing and the dogs butt. Some products for freshening are recommended. Full anal glands can lead to skin itching.

Again nothing serious. Just part if grooming an old dog. If I found anything serious concerning or stressful I would have waited until you got home :)

Puppy needs help releasing the stink stuff regularly :)

and then i found Tepezcohuite which is the Mimosa tenuiflora plant which i used to love as a little kid cuz it reacted when you touched it and it's supposed to be great for skin problems for people and for dogs so it's time to get some... it comes in cream and lotion and shampoo and soap and capsules that can be taken orally and it is non-toxic to people and pets, at least that is what the internet said (via webmd and petmd and a few other websites)...

ok, so there's a whole lot of knowledge... gonna get some of that stuff and use it and maybe we'll start sleeping better soon :)

good morning :)

oops, he did it again

this poor old puppy is so itchy he doesn't sleep through the night... he woke me a few more times jingling and rubbing and licking and scratching and moaning and whimpering and making assorted other noises... no wonder jackson is always tired even when she goes to bed early, she likely does not sleep through the night and probably doesn't complete REM cycles... gonna research doggy itch remedies now...

good morning :)

was sleeping good

ok, so i correct myself... the body does need more than 4 hours sleep and regularly needs at least two consecutive four hour cycles or four consecutive two hours cycles and the last fifteen minutes or so the brain found this to be true with more clarity...

i was enjoying a really wonderful sleep, i mean so very sweet and excellent and deep until happiness woke me scratching himself wildly rubbing on the carpet and jingling his collar and snorting and licking himself so loudly right next to the couch... i sleep on the couch when jackson is away to keep him company... he goes through this skin rash phase every year as summer comes around, probably the heat and allergies according to the vet... it was a four hour mark and the bladder needed emptying but i was right back into deep sleep when i laid back down and then... happiness went on a wake-up call itching jag... so here i am, definitely grumpy and tired, and realizing that broken sleep is part of it and realizing that sleeping out in the living room to keep happiness company when jackosn is away is not helping and realizing this is probably why jackson is so tired all the time even though she goes to bed a lot earlier than me... she probably doesn't even realize how often happiness breaks her out of deep rem sleep... need to get something to help him with his itching...

and i hope i find my way back into deeper sleep soon... nite nite? :}

almost sleep time

yes, even though i might want to watch tv even though nobody shares the tv cuz i am alone without a partner (oh, are we lonely today?... well, yeah, but i am too tired to be witty about it, ok?... and i banged my knee really really hard and it hurts really bad and is bleeding a little and wah wah wah wah wah wah), i am soooo tired, sleepy like... i mastered the art of loafing today... ate the leftover spinach dip and crackers and yeah, spaghetti... maybe that's why the body is so lethargic and blah blah blah blah blah... gonna lay down now and enjoy the rest :)

hope you enjoyed your day too (and ate better :)

and so i didn't

at least not yet at least... do anything, that is... i woke not feeling like doing much and so far, except for playing online spades, i've followed the feeling... now hunger is intervening in my lazy day and a trip to the kitchen provides no spark cuz there's so little food in the house... canned soup, some pasta, no bread, fruit, veggies, or meats... i've eaten pasta at least a dozen times in the past few weeks and the body wants something else, balance and all... not so much a junk food craving, but a protein craving... maybe a bit of carb craving too... but i don't want to spend money these days... i splurged over the weekend a couple of times...

i am left with what is in the house or ordering in (spending more $) or going out and shopping and cooking (spending less $)... have you ever had one of those blan0stare lazy days where you simply do not want to do anything?... welcome to my day, wanna come over and do nothing with me? :)

whatever you are doing, i hope it is inspiring your smile too :)

enough sleep

so i wake after fours hours, typically, and can function just fine in daily life, but i prefer to fall back to sleep for another two or four hours and that's what i did last night... but here it is, six hours after going to bed, and i am ready to bounce around another day... my body clock is so different from the normal human body clock it is practically incompatible with this modern world...

and so i think i shall play some online spades in that new game i downloaded yesterday or the day before... spadester dot com, i believe... could be a new addiction if it wasn't so lonely... yeah, woke up lonely... maybe anticipating jackson being away tonight... or maybe just lonely...

anyway, good morning... i don't feel like doing much of anything today, how about you? :)

eureka! what a disappointment

they obviously cancelled the show because the writers ran out of ideas, even though the show was still potentially a gold mine for science sci-fi... the town of geniuses was getting quite dummied-down recently... and the canned crap endings were typical rushed uncreative pap... anyway, i fought sleep to stay awake and watch it and my reaction is what a waste...

off to bed now... nite nite :)

don't let dishes sit unrinsed

unrinsed dishes start stinking fast and everything put into those dishes needs scrubbing so remember, don't make a messy task a much bigger mess of a job than it needs to be... so the stinky dishes and sink and kitchen was cleaned, tick on of the chores off the to-do list... didn't get out to take care of the outside ones, but then, it's monday and i have subconsciously decided that i will take three day weekends, at least, maybe four, until i find another job... enjoy this luxury of time off, that's the ticket...

a few other chores were done around here, so it's not a completely lazy day... and o sent for nursing program info and a few other requests for information from companies, so i'm being responsible, yeah yeah yeah... having fun, that's the most important thing, working,k playing, whatever, whenever, having fun is what life is about...

hope you are having fun too :)

breakfast and work at home

so that is what a morning is like waking early and working at home... not that anybody is paying me to work at home, but a job search is work of sorts and i am home, so... breakfast was grapefruit juice... moments later, lunch was jackson's spinach dip and leftover olive garden eggplant parm and chocolate milk... and then, the work part... i explored nursing programs and sent out some emails asking how much and so on... the rn licence would make me dramatically more marketable, so i would be unwise not to explore it... if i can qualify for some financial aid and can afford it, it might be the right move... i also have a to do list for this week forming on the fridge and hope to actually move that into the activities daily life process and such... organization and time management, that's work too, right? (oh come on, i've gotta have some fun with this major life crisis change, ya know?)...

make your day even more wonderful, ok? :)

something changed

in the google blogger blogspot world... i am not longer logged in when i arrive, yet i can open my dashboard and create new entries, so i must be logged in and yet my name is not at the upper right and "sign-in" is there... also, embedded comments are not working... strange... not sure if it's connected, but the laptop will currently not go into sleep mode and that is recent too... silly computer world, always changing without notice... note, i did not say breaking cuz i am trying to stay positive... so anyway, adjustments are mode... changing embedded comments to pop-up and getting in the habit of forcing sleep by closing the computer when i walk away... who's in control, anyway?...

and a new day begins... a few connections planned in the job search and some intention for increased exercise and possible a load of laundry, though i don't have much... motivation sought to head out for some chores like checking the post office and depositing a check (got the condo-sale check and the life insurance checks which bring mighty relief to the budgetary committee in my brain... most of those stuffed shirts have come away from the open windows and all but one is back in off the ledge, nyuk nyuk oh come on, i can contemplate suicide with a chuckle cuz i'm crazy like that) into the bank and possibly stopping to shop for some food and also for an ankle/foot/achilles brace so i might be able to stay on schedule to play softball in a month or so... can i stop trying to motivate myself now? :)

yeah, good mood, though a bit groggy, hope your mood and day are even better :)