for the few listening

or reading, to be more precise (though connecting may be even more accurate, i hope), i have been babbling on elsewhere (shhhhh, it's a secret) with such simple variations on the theme that the bipolarity might not even be noticed by those reading as most live, superficiality... but anyway, the travels through the babbling brooks of my mind are busy this week even though i don't have time to put words here much... something's got to give... but at least this weekend i am not giving all of my computer time to work like the past few weekends... a lot more than a few, actually... and i must head in to work early monday morning, very early, before sunrise, but i am giving this weekend to myself for vegetative relaxation and whatever distraction catches my eye... mostly, it's tv with the occasional emo... there is some worth on tv now and then... at the moment, this matters to me... and then there's the internet, alas, which reminds me that i so seldom browse anymore (used to keep track, if you recall... have hundreds of entries waiting to be added there... anyway, we can learn almost anything on the internet... i do it all the time, how about you?... not just mind games, learning... wake up your brain, it's still in there (nyuk?... nyuk?... bueler?)... nova has good stuff...

home is in a state of flux more than ever... economically, i am in street mode, that is, i spend as little as possible... sucks to live that way, but with the added expense of the new car payment and inconsistent money from jackson, i had to pull the emergency brake and put the wallet in park... only essentials, like this week, gas... that's it (until tonight when i foolishly splurged on junk the body and wallet do not need, but the discipline of the emergency brake is not perfect)... all food came from house stores... it's been that way for more than a month except for a few splurges with jackson and her family and one splurge last week with helen... needless to say, my social life has been put on hold... luckily i am adept at self-amusement and work all the time...

not fun, no easy, but necessary until jackson finds a way to cover her share of the bills... that's probably a big reason i don't come here much... not much to say... and i definitely do not want to whine about finances or violate jackson's privacy any more than i already do... she's not happy with her current irresponsibility and surely doesn't want anyone to know, so don't tell... everything's big random secret, after all...

meanwhile, was this entry ever uploaded?... i mean, with all due respect (and much meaningless fanfare), the fate of the world may hang in the balances, after all...

narf lol lam laa, narf :)