stuffing the face

it is my coping mechanism and there is a whole lot of coping going on (now there is a musical title if we ever had one, but the chuckles are so strained and pained at the moment, it's a sad time for the life in (e)thereal and only jackson really knows a few of the actual details as i don't have anyone else as close anymore... so tired of the betrayals and insensitivities of people, i am withdrawing from human contacts more and more... keeping one close though, that may be the saving grace... maybe... or it may be insecurity... or egomania... or simply loneliness... or something else entirely... in any case, jackson remains because she must, she is dependent on me.. and i believe she cares as much as she can... so i am not completely alone, not completely isolated, even if no one nearby even knows this blog exists, or is interested in knowing me this much... and a whole lot probably doesn't go here, being filtered even when i don't mean to filter cuz, after all, i strive mightily to respect others privacy... it's a way of life...

so after more than a month of strict no-spending, almost $200 was splurged on food in the past two days... pizza heaven, chocolate heaven, and even chips and dip heaven... nothing like the new dominion angels version of heaven, but then every, maybe... cuz every double edge sword cuts both ways...

if only the taste buds understood what they do to the heart, alas, who lives forever, la la la...

and what else is new, aye?...

narf :)