woke early, but not fast enough

ok, so i woke early with the thought in the back of my head that the gym would be a good idea, but i moved slowly to the bathroom and then sat here a few moments and before i blinked, the half hour i might have spent at the gym is gone so i'll not rush down there for twenty minutes then rush through a shower in five then dress and rush out to work... i'll relax and take the few moments to check mail and write this entry and groom at a comfortable pace... the buddha laughs... the groin groans... the time goes by...

wow, profoundness in those last three phrases, in case you wondered... the habits are changing, i think, but just not enough to make a big enough difference yet... the life still feels like there is not enough time in the day to do it all, to sleep long enough to regenerate and still exercise and shower and groom and clean and organize and write and communicate and cook and eat and socialize and work daily... sad, as i enjoy it all, but skip some of life every day cuz there is just not enough time... and still, the partner is missing... as is the time to share with her... human life is so oddly set up in this modern culture... and so dependent on money... i think i'd like to step out of it again, but not all by myself this time, so i move through each day hoping my interactions will lead me to someone who might want to step out with me...

in any case, it feels good to get some sleep and i am off for four days after today and have a softball tournament to enjoy over the weekend and life continues, which is reason to celebrate... so make today a comfortably wonderful day :)