still awake?

if you read my previous entries here (you do, don't you?... at least a few of you must have found this place after all the bread crumbs and obvious please for attention i've left in all my other online writing spots), and especially the last (entry) in which several million brain cells were misfiring all at ones, you might have noticed that i was tired (ah, the love of understatement soars to new heights) and so the question posed here is not merely still awake? but most much more emphatically why in the hell are you still awake?...

i read this and related:

Is there anybody like me out there or anywhere? What I mean is, enough like me to relate enough to connect on enough levels and in enough ways to actually share life and the occasional, or even daily genuine comfortable lingering hug, I mean, anybody? How about around here? It's been a while.

yes, well, so many things to do, and yet, so many things to explore... i've not done any of the physical things that really ought to be done before i fly out of here tomorrow and i've not slept... i've been exploring online... lonely?... mostly... but i've also been exploring laptops and nettops cuz i did not want to take this big heavy monster with me this time... but buying one should be researched, a voice in my head says... and still, i have no idea which is best for my needs, mostly... i have an alarm set for 3am, 4am, 5am, and 7am... if i sleep until 7am, most of what needs to be done will not get done and that's bad news...

taking care of myself all by myself is a very time-consuming job (maybe i should spend less time laughing at myself?... no, that must not move any further down the priority list that i have yet to actually make than it already might have had i made the list)... who cares?... another voice calls out from the darkness... and nobody answers...

'cept me... yay for me... i might do the dishes now... and empty the car... those two are must-dos... and forget laundry, i'll just pick up new clothes at some walmart on the way to the airport or in franklin... maybe they'll have different cheap clothes in tennessee so i don't look like everyone else around here who buys cheap clothes... there's a brainstorm, aye?... the laptop?... we shall see... or more accurately, perhaps, i shall see...

i don't want to be lonely anymore... maybe i'll buy a macbook pro... hello... hello... is this thing on? :}