stretching the limits further still

just when i say enough, just when i feel taken to my limits of giving, need arises and i find more to give... so the laptop waits again and the tuneup waits again and furniture will wait and rebuilding life will wait and any idea of bringing down the stuff from storage will wait...

the good news is rasputin called and he's home and in one piece... the bad news is he got back from the ukraine where he spent all of his money (and the money he borrowed from me) and he found he had no job... laid off while on vacation in the ukraine, it just sucks... so instead of paying me back some as planned, i took precious food shopping today so she'd have food in the house for the next week or so and i can see more need the rest of this week, which just sucks too...

harry taught me that word... and when a child is hungry... cuz caring is a verb and sharing is why i am here...

meanwhile, mina called last week for money as well... and when i can no longer lift myself to earn the daily bread and the retirement savings i might have had is not there, who will feed me and keep me clean and safe from bugs and vermin and cold and comfortable?... alas, i wonder how many old people on the street got there this way...

so, in the end, i skipped the full day festival in deland and the party to support my softball team and take care of precious and that feels good, in spite of the loneliness and pondering of the potential future above... and tonight i rest the body and do the laundry and maybe, unpack a bit more... cuz that is best for me and my malady, i think, i am told, and so it goes... here, amuse yourself...

my place in this world?... your guess is as good as mine :}