tough night

got home around 5 to take care of happiness and it was about 7 before i sat down... though jackson said he went out four hours earlier, he pooped on his bed... she must have been in a hurry... he really needs time lately... tonight couldn't make it very far outside and dropped down twice, panting heavily, and i had to stand him up... he peed on the walk a few feet from the door again... he can't make it to the grass, alas... his time is near... i put him to bed...

jackson had the day off and spent it with her girl, getting home after he fell asleep... she woke him but he couldn't make it far and it hit her... she avoids the unpleasantness of life so well... i keep encouraging her to spend time with him cuz i think she's going to be very sad that she didn't these last months, but she is so busy with work and play and is so seldom home... so sad...

so i am not sleeping, feeling the emotion... so i'm gonna eat some mac and cheese and watch tv... comfort food... and distraction... heroes... being different is challenging sometimes, so lonely... my super power is feeling too much... super empathy... the highest high, the lowest low, and no one to share it...

of course it's all in my mind, great imagination, but it's so heavy... mind over body, after all...

sigh... narf... sigh...