celebrating his last days

here we are chilling on the outside in front on his outside bed and i am typing on the work computer (i'll email it to myself) cuz the old laptop doesn't have a battery anymore... dear old happiness is wandering around a bit, drinking some water, doing his best not to lay down because laying down is awkward and more, laying down means eventually getting up and getting up is hard… he needs help getting up more and more... sigh... the old guy is struggling to be active and comfortable these last days… he wagged his tail for the second time this week when I took him out for the third time this morning... he walked all the way to the end of the building and back without collapsing, pausing ever few feet to rest… he’s a very happy dog to have one of us home with him today…

the world is blurry for him these days with cataract growing so it seems fitting to have some of his last pictures somewhat out of focus... these last days we are trying to spend as much time with him as possible so he knows how much he is loved and we can observe him closely for more than a few minutes (cuz we are so seldom home) and decide (deep breath) if he is crossing the discomfort line too much… making that decision to assist death along is one of the most challenging decisions life presents to a family… jackson doesn't want to go near it, but neither of us want him suffering... saying googbye is going to be the hardest thing she's ever done...

earlier he plopped down for a while on the patio concrete which made it challenging for him when he wanted to get back up… the patio has smoothe concrete and smooth concrete has become too slippery to push off, almost as challenging as the tile in the bathroom or lenoleum in the hall and kitchen... so I helped him up and he walked over to his food bowl and ate some food… now he wants to head back inside… carpeting, that’s the easiest surface to rise from…

we laid down together and he enjoyed his head and ears rubbed...

sigh...