stunningly startling (or at least awakish)

pasta for dinner again, and late night snack, and quick before softball snack, and every night for a week, at least... it's economical and i am in a very economical mode at the moment... i believe i spent no money this past week except for filling my gas tank... last week i bought some breakfast drinks for work and lunches have been those with granola bars that work provides... no drinks before the softball games, just water from the tap (filtered)... that's the way it must be for a while... week, at least... and after a few weeks, at least, another assessment might show it needs to be more weeks, at least, or perhaps months... this is the uneasy reality of the physical life after pouring the last few years of income and most of savings into helping jackson keep her head above water, alas, don't hate me for writing this life out like this, it is how i survive (and i know you don't want me to die... i don't have enough life insurance, after all, and you are not ready to not just go through it and remain as you are... too harsh a poke?... ah, but dear best friend, honesty is the only way to cure all that ails us and truly survive and find happiness... shhhh, this entry will pass into the oblivion that is posterity along with the many thousands of other entries i've written over the years that all went unnoticed except by a few dear people far far away)...

brilliance is not always easy, but honesty, no matter how painful, is always kind...

understanding that is the key to peace...

hope that everyone finds it

is what keeps me going

through everything

and more...