giving up on life

what?... did you know that giving up on life is a choice?... yes, death is a choice... dying is a choice... eating too much of the wrong things, choosing imbalance, choosing to ignore stress, or simply choosing to share dependency with someone who does these things and leveling off to that person's suicidal tendencies, lifeless choices... day after day, alone on the hill... or caught up in the rat race, it doesn't really matter where the fool is as long as the fool does what a fool does... a lifeless fool, that is... and that is the choice i am making these days, just trodding through from moment to moment satisfying momentary lusts and sensory desires as impulsively as i have in many years and the weight shows it and the blood pressure shows it and the glucose level shows it and the blurry eyes show it too... focus comes and goes... sadness lingers as every time i pop my consciousness out of the fog i live in i find the same sad self-destructive choices are being made and i just roll along with them adding my own to the mix... chocolate... mountain dew... meatball and veal parm subs... fries... onion rings... chocolate milk... and no exercise between the softball games and less softball lately and less energy put into the softball lately... playing down to the competition... making the choice to roll fall down the hill instead of riding the wave... bored of the board?... being the happy idiot... fitting in with the humans... or something like that...

and how are you?

narf :)