catchup is not something to put on hamburgers

well, I certainly have neglected my imaginary audience, haven’t i?... not that the few of you who actually do check in here are imaginary, I mean, even though your exist primarily in my imagination and I take it on faith that you actually have flesh and blood bodies out there somewhere, but I mean the masses of adoring fans who are all up in arms beside themselves with fret and fuss cuz I’ve been gone so long it looks like then from here… or there, even... yeah, you can quote that one, it’ll be a classic someday…

as you see, I return ego intact and as delusional as ever (and looking every minute of it harry… jerry too)… and I am only here momentarily because the reason for my absence continues to exist and I just got home from work and shall dive right into that reason, a certain video game of questionable strategy and skill, not quite as exciting as the NCAA College Football from EA sports that we know I love, but a similar package (and I just received Madden 08 {for $10} in the mail to occupy my brain when I tired of the Bowl Bound College Football from Grey Dog, which will happen sooner or later cuz I do have a ssmadd oslt (super slow motion attention deficit disorder… or something like that), and this losing myself in the video game world does have ulterior motives, after all, which amount to forgetting hunger, especially the emotional kind (and forgetting to eat at all for long stretches, no doubt) and it is also a great savings plan cuz I’m not spending money when I am sitting here playing for hours and hours and on and on and all…

the ab belt is exercising me… lazy-man’s exercise… I am on the highest level of the thing and wondering why I am not feeling any pain after wearing it on it’s highest level for five or six straight hours… I mean, besides my high pain tolerance… if I did a few dozen or a hundred sit-ups (could I even?), I would probably be belly-aching for days, even though I was never one to ride the charlie-horse too much… but this thing is on max power plus on the fourth or fifth use (instead of the 22st use) and the recommended 30 minutes has extended to hours on end and I’m still not feeling the burn I could be feeling with actual exercise… but I am feeling the change and perhaps wisdom leads me to suggest that after so many years of letting the ab muscles atrophy and stretch out, this slower methodical mechanical method of muscle stimulation and exercise is safer and more productive than a sudden decision to pretend I’ve been doing a thousand sit-ups a day like I used to do… or is that laziness talking?... wise laziness?... wise ass?...

yeah, anyway, been working a whole lot and squeezed in a party or few and a little bit of softball (which is sad, and yet, excellent for healing my right heel, I hope)… we start playing again this thursday or this sunday if it doesn’t rain (or didn’t rain last thursday)… and I’ll be back to two a week (down from four a week, but that’ll leave more room for social life and alternative exercise, I mean, as soon as I get past this video football jones and tear myself away from the game… hey, I’ve been writing this for ten minutes already, the longest I’ve been at the computer in two weeks unless it was to play… email hasn’t even been downloaded, dangit… what a wonderfully decadent waste of time in the eyes of the normals, aye?... ah, I basque in the judgement of my peers, nyuk, nyuk…

of course I don’t mean you wonderful people… every one of you millions of precious hearts beating in rhythm with the babble, you are why I return… you are why I continue… you are not like those other humans who seek norms so unchallenging and flatlined that mediocrity is too radical a place to strive for… we’ll leave those poor watersacks be and continue to basque in the glow of the love and awareness and smiley hugs…

so I am fine, wonderful, even… and I can be reached at the same number and love you no less for your silence (cuz the love never ends, you know, it just goes on and on… at least that’s what I choose to believe most of the time and there are no conditions or prerequisites to the eternal infinity of blissful wonder that is imagination, so I’ll be right here waiting when you come around… at least as long as I live a in this body, that is)…

I hope all is well, so well, it’s swell (so-well, get it?)… time to play for as long as I can hold my head up, eyes open, and fingers moving the mouse… it’s is so great being a kid, really it is :)