something like this

an entry of pieces put together something like this...

and got home from work and put food in the over and went to the bathroom and started an entry (cuz my hands are free so why not make use of the few minutes, aye, and if that is tmi, well, oh well, you should probably not read my other blog/journal/diaries then, narf) but i did not finish the entry i started elsewhere before i wandered back to the living room and picked up the game controller, so here it is hours later after i nodded off and went to bed and woke at 3am-ish (as opposed to 3 amish) and feel a bit bloated and not ready to lay back down (still not used to sleeping in a bed and still no actual comfortable bed going on seventeen years now... wow, i guess... so much supposed sadness i accept as just the way it is that so few, if anyone, understands) and the middle of the night blurry wanting to share feeling brings me to the keyboard (with the game controller right next to me, ah, thank goodness for my love of numbers and escapes so my loneliness can still be laughed off by the little kid indulged this way now more than ever... i choose to care, i choose to share, i choose to write, it feels alright, good night, nite nite... tbc?)...

and the phone was busy tonight as a local friend called about new years and she seems to be of the same mind set that staying home alone and relaxing is more appealing than driving somewhere 40-50 minutes away as that is where she lives and the other parties are about equally distant) and then ancient family called to discuss the 'estate' that i will have almost no part of and i acknowledged that i will sign off on him taking the condo which is what he called about (we've spoken maybe twice in twenty years, which is more often than most of the adopted family i left behind long ago for many rational and healthy reasons) and that is the way it is, or something like it)...

my lemonade is still the sweetest around so far, so i can only hope yours is good too if your life has not been perfect (and if it has bee, wow, how'd that happen? :)

gonna go play now, it's about 3am and i am wide awake after a nice nap... hope you are enjoying your life as much (if not more) than i enjoy mine... and yes, i do want to know, in case you think nobody does (i do silly, stop feeling so alone)... kit (as in keep in touch), at least with yourself (see, it's something like this), and i'll be around again sometime...

cuz it's better this way :)

(or something like that :)