always hope

it's been a long time since i sat up all night vegetating in front of the tv like this (the like this part includes being naked and writing) but it was time to take a stab at feeling and dealing with the loneliness and disatisfactions with people and trying to find the words that explain what i want most from someone who might want to be with me... or at least be a true best friend (who understands that?)...

meanwhile, yummy food and snacks and just a bit of caffiene instead of a gallon tonight, so a change for the healthy even as i pig out... and there was emo on tv and tears and sniff sniff and wanting more than usual and hunger more than usual and who knows, maybe i'll actually look for someone to love (like the queen song?)... seriously?... well, closer than i've been in a decade or more... more... it would be nice to find someone who wanted to actually be my best friend in the daily life (e)thereal physical world... and if she was adorable to my eyes and attractive to my libido and interwoven in my mind (or would truly want to help me find the one who is, that would be a really sweet bonus, ya know :)

there's always hope (i hope :)