pretending

from somewhere else again: the bottom line permeating all of my writing, especially online, is pretending... pretending someone is reading... pretending someone is paying attention... pretending someone actually wants to know about me... there was a time when i lamented a lot even as i did my best to remember how to dream... much of my babbling was thinly disguised whining about loneliness (or is that just blatant begging for attention, sigh, alas, la la la... yeah (with a dramatic pause), many thousands of entries still online (and even more deleted that no one may ever read as far as i will ever know... i think i whine and lament less now, though that is just my perspective and who am i to judge myself all by myself, ya know?...

feel free to give me your opinion, aye? :)

anyway, all kidding (and most pretending) aside to allow for just a brief moment for a splash of the hard cold reality of it is what it is, i can continue here with or without you until the time constraints limit me more and i pull back to the briefest notes here or in whatever the current momentary daily word-place might be... hoping it's not all pretending and you are in a good place even without communicating... and i really should sleep now cuz i will be up with a very challenging day tomorrow in just six hours...

till tomorrow, aye? :)