i was here

distracted before i put fingers to keys though... might have nodded off, but i don't think so... yesterday is another blur... but i was here and musta had something to say so when we finally get together i might be coaxed into remembering if it matters to you... i wish the tv would stop rolling so much, the rolling picture is distracting me from the distractions on tv, dangit... yeah, nyuk, almost...

sensing one of those what about me? phases, perhaps...

somebody's gotta, after all :)

another late night

everything takes so long when someone does not pay attention and still wants to be in charge... but that's the nature of business sometimes and the best i can do is accept it and put in the extra hours to get the job done... so it's another late night...

home to cook dinner and pass out in front of the tv... wake, now, watched the end of a another poorly officiated nba playoff game... the product the nba puts out these days really cannot be taken seriously by any serious basketball fan, but why should they car, wrestling makes money, so does the nba... sports are not really sports anymore anyway... whatever...

wander back to sleep... maybe there will be more time for life tomorrow... hope you are well and enjoying life... we are having fun, even when we are too tired to noticed :)

naps and sleepless nights

the trouble with after dinner naps is that i naturally wake after four hours or less and feel energized and often stay up the rest of the night (like tonight)... i didn't get home from work until about 9pm... jackson had pizza waiting for me (love her so much) so i ate and then nodded off shortly after she went to bed (which was early, before ten, cuz she has a cold)... and i woke maybe midnight or 1am and have been writing since... much private correspondence with an old friend...

now what? :)

holiday interruptions

not that i celebrate holidays, but i do enjoy an extra day off and it's really not fair when work interrupts my home time, but yesterday and again tonight i headed into work to talk to unscheduled inspectors which is part of my job but also is part of others jobs, others who get paid way more than i do, alas... anyway, i take care of business once again and return home to complete the chores and activities i had planned to complete this evening... laundry... dinner... shower... writing... relaxing... and so far, the laundry is done, the dinner is done, and the writing and relaxing (me time for my head and heart and psyche and so on) has just begun... i will likely shower in a bit and return to writing and relaxing as i get closer to sleep... if i give myself an hour or writing and relaxing wrapped around a shower (which takes longer cuz of the foot), i can still get four hours sleep, maybe...

the foot, but the way, continues to improve... the plantar fascia remains the most obvious long term injury that is healing slowest and keeps me from being able to put pressure on the foot to walk beyond a few steps here and there... and the rest of the injuries slowly do their healing thing...

and how was your day and how are you? :)

a world without nationalism

good morning memorial day... the first thing i see as i stop in here (the online world) is a message from a long time close friend who lives in canada (cuz she's canadian by birth) about family and life (we used to correspond in very long letters... we also used to co-habitat intimately and adopted each other as family along the way, but that's another story for another time) and it was a good way to wake up... so i responded cuz actual correspondence-type communication is a treasure... and i then glance at facebook messages and the second thing i see are words of appreciation to anyone who served and my thoughts find musical expression in the song imagine...

and i wonder how many would choose to find offence and negativity in the thoughts passing through my head today... even the closet hippies, alas...

good morning world, may you experience peace, love, and happiness today...

caffeine distorts circadian rhythm

so a few moments of nap earlier turned into a wonderfully bubbly evening with jackson and a new from of hers and here we are... i finally connected my phone to the google system via a new email address so the junk mail will not overload the phone (as it did when i first got the phone and connected with my regular email address... and i downloaded some apps... maybe i'll note which ones tomorrow... two are games that jackson plays, so we started a words with friends (scrabble) game tonight... tomorrow maybe we'll start a draw something game... a few other apps are now on my phone too... and then, sports on tv and now, just might close my eyes... actually, since jackson's friend is staying over, i just may try sleeping in bed... hopefully i will not hurt the foot by moving around like i did the first week...

nite nite :)

and more work

work called about 8:30 and then again near noon and i went in to deal with some issues and am just getting home... dang professionalism and work ethic and all that jazz... hungry..,. nuts... jackson ought to be home soon... we'll figure out food then... i would be in such a quandary if she wasn't around... even now, five weeks after the injury, moving around the place, cooking, laundry, anything that requires ambulation is such a painful challenge... i'd have set this foot back dozens of times if i had to take care of myself completely every day during the past 35 days...

yay for my wonderful roommate and now, rest, play, nap, fun :)

bladders and bodies and life, oh my

got to thinking about the human body requirements more and more lately as movement is a painful challenge and a wish for more biologically efficient bodies returns to consciousness not only from an ecological standpoint, but from a immobility standpoint as well... imagine if the body didn't waste so much... perhaps we train it to because of our choice in diets, but anyway, the bladder woke me so i dragged myself to the bathroom and hopped back here and here we are... gonna play some ncaa now... and sleep again when it comes cuz that's the sweetest sleep of all...

enjoy your day :)

wide awake at, well, you know

playing the game and resting the foot and the plantar fascia swelling and throbbing is diminishing, so the pattern appears to be it becomes inflamed and swells after walking, less so with the boot on so it must have more to do with the flexing of the ligament than with the lack of elevation and what i need to know is whether flexing the plantar fascia is a positive step or a negative step in the healing process... and wide awake wishing for the cuddling intimacy that comes from the comfort of a best (or at least really close) friend...

yeah, i know, what else is new? :)

the one and the foot

yes, if only the one was here and the foot was not, life would be so very wonderful... not perfect, or as easy as i'd like, or as free from obligations to work full time as i'd like, but so very wonderful... yeah, so i decided to cook spaghetti and shrimp and the dozens of trips back and forth around the kitchen and living room took it's toll and now the plantar fascia is throbbing and burning and dangit, didn;t the universe get my order?... i ordered expedited healing, sheesh...

the food was yummy, and pistachios for dessert were yummy, and the day has been relaxing and fun and wonderful, not so very cuz, after all, there is the foot and the lack of the one (lonely days, lonely nights, where would i be without the one la la la), but still wonderful... ah, the relativity of the many levels of wonder, aye?... so anyway, dinner was wonderful even if it set the foot back a day or longer, the sports on tv were exciting, and the ncaa college football marathon continues after the blogging and facebook visitation concludes... that's the (e)thereal for today...

how are you? :)

relaxing, mostly

the foot continues to heal and today i completely let the body rule nodding off and waking as the body wished... thursday i was at work walking way too much from 7am past midnight and friday was another 10 hour day with way too much walking, so today, except for going to the bathroom and taking happiness out to the front lawn, i am parked happily nodding off and writing and playing the ncaa game and checking in on the nba playoffs and the ncaa women's softball tournament and did i mention resting?... yay for not being called by work...

the only thing missing is the one, but that's nothing new... other than that, and the foot, this was one of the sweetest days in the last few years inside my head... hope you had a sweet day too :)

sweet sleep in the morning

yes... waking and writing and falling back to sleep and waking and writing and falling back to sleep used to be one of the sweetest feelings that fed the creative cycles that used to be life for several years during two different periods in this life... these days i experience it rarely because i work long days five days a week (and then some as i am on call 24/7) and usually have lots of fun stuff to do when i am not working (six different softball teams and some other fill-in teams and other fun stuff and a roommate and dog to play with too) so the timeless weeks of sleep-wake-write-repeat are long in the past for now... but lately, thanks to the foot and the jackson's recent weekends away, i have experienced a brief taste of the sweetness i used to know and love... i woke, wrote, and nodded off this morning and here, again, the cycle rolls...

see ya later :)

awake again yet again (promises can be like that)

how many times has this come around is being the point of counting into the realm of whatever and why does it matter except to note the fatigue and potential for pain that brings and even as i wonder what the words i just wrote mean to you as i transition into another thought with nary a blink or pause or comma, it matters only as much as we want it to and for the moment , my memory of how much it matters to you is all i have for proof of reality that you exist, if that can be reality...

meanwhile, back it the real world, whatever that is, a party of sorts on the basketball court outside may play a small roll in my being awake again yet again and certainly body thoughts play their role (not to mention some carry-over work thoughts), but it is something deeper that pulls me out of the supine and back into the chair to tap on these keys for as tired as this body is, there is more to life than rest and sleep and many more miles to go, the keep... promises can be like that...

wish you were here :)

and the foot

ridiculousness at work as the external complaints continue and it gets more and more challenging to keep the place away from citations (especially when there are plenty that could be found)... made it through the surveys and the previous investigations pretty clean... this time it will be different... hope i am not scapegoated...

and the foot, well, it got more work today than it has in five weeks and it definitely did not like it... tomorrow will hurt even more, alas... such a dull boy... boot too... so i came here to send the really important entries further down the page cuz i care about you and while craig ferguson amuses me, i take a few minutes to tell you about my day... dinner was yummy, though nobody but me would probably eat it... you want the recipe, go find it lol... after all, why should i be the only frustrated one, snarky nyuk... so much fun... and you?...

nothing changes, every day

not true, naturally, but being on an unnatural merry-go-round spinning among a rather depressed species, perspective is everything and once you find the right perspective for you (that's the one that makes you happy), keep it and don't change it unless you find a better one (and that is rare, unless you think there is something better than happy)... meanwhile, what's this philosophical mumbo jumbo doing here?... today was another day, more investigations and inspections... and home to walnuts, pistachios, and yogurt... jackson's friend is making fajitas later... and that's the day...

wonderful to be home, you? :)

yesterday's gone

blink... blibk... i mean, blink... tired, yeah, hungrier than tired, yeah... just got home, heated up some leftover rice mixed with cream of mushroom soup and sabrett onions and butter and ketchup and spices and shrimp... what?... you never cooked drunk?... how about over-tired?... i am neither, but definitely tired... the days started way early, i was in about seven i think and i am just getting home... another surprise inspection... this one will not breeze by as the easy inspector retired to another life and we are back to hard core auditing... my warnings have gone unheeded, so tomorrow we get to hear what i've been saying for many months from someone else who matters more cuz she can effect the bottom line... or is that affect...

the food is yummy, shutup... and the foot, well, the foot did not need this 17 hours day walking and upright more than any day in the past almost five weeks... seriously, i am not sure if it's there at the moment.,,, numb set in hours ago... somehow i will hope in to work tomorrow... i was supposed to have a doctor's appointment next week and if it is tomorrow morning, i will need to reschedule... so whatever time i fall asleep after i eat, i will try to wake at 7:30 to call when they open and reschedule... just what the foot needs, more delay... but then, what;s the doc going to do other than reassure me that it takes time to heal, lots of time...

and that's the report from the foot and work and the taste buds and the rest of me... hope it didn't scare ya... so it is another day and somehow, i must find sleep... and a shower, oh stank do i need a shower... ignore the foot as the numb stops and the throbbing starts... @craigyferg should help... hope you find the help you find helpful too... be good to yourself... feel free to be good to me too... it's a new day, after all...

did you miss yesterday? :)

i be here

first, foremost, finally... ok, maybe not finally... i mean, this blog has reached the top of the heap, the most entries of any blog i've written since the online blogging thing took hold... we are approaching 2500 entries... generally i start a new blog somewhere nearing a thousand entries... not sure i think about why when i do, but it's just the way it's been in this blogging life, so far, at least...

where were we?... ah yes, here first, foremost, but not necessarily finally cuz i hope to live a long long time and have many other online homes when the muse moves me... but anyway, here we are, first, foremost, for today at least :)

and today was another long day of investigation and typing up a report... there are two surprise massive reports to do and i want one done before the end of this week and it is not about 90% done... ok, maybe 85%... but well on it's way and it is just waiting for some feedback from others, one of whom was out today and the other, well, she seldom provides feedback in any reasonable time frame and leaves the place hanging at the last minute, so why should this be any different... the big difference this time is that i am bringing it up every morning and forcing attention to be placed on the need to get it done, what i need to get it done, who is responsible for giving me what i need to get it done, and when the deadline is... doing this in front of the ceo does not always work, but it is the only way to insure he knows the delay is not my choice...

other than sitting at my desk at work, life is sitting around home waiting for this foot to get all better... this week is the best yet for the foot, though it still hurts too much to put full pressure on it and i still cannot move the foot without major pain (signs of the ligament damage)... the plantar facia is almost definitely ruptured, which is not good news (foot news, that is), even if i haven't heard it from the doctor yet...

tuna sub and rice for dinner... yogurt for dessert... bit my tongue as i started nodding off a few minutes ago... and that's the up to the moment update for today... what's up with you? :)

so meanwhile

is eating canned tuna without looking at the expiration date on the can high risk behavior?... is it living on the edge?... does it make me cool?... how about wonton soup from last week... or was it two weeks?... when did i last order chinese?... well, i ate that too... whatever, hopefully it does not make me sick... it did inspire a quick trip to the potty, but since i am not mobile that's all you'll hear about that (who remembers botts?)... oh silly, remember what matters...

another long day of investigation, watching video, reading documentation, finding mistakes, reporting mistakes, and generally being the big bad guy... it's lonely on the island when everybody else lives on the mainland... but somebody's gotta do it...

watching bones and digesting food and finally put the foot up... it's been down more than up today and it's a bit uncomfortable, but not screaming as it was last week when i didn't keep it elevated all day, so that a good sign... still not ready for real pressure (weight) or actual movement of the foot, but progress is good...

hope you've got good too :)

yeah, whatever, i know

monday night eurekakeeps me awake cuz the nba playoffs took the earlier spot (i live with someone who's even more into following pro sports than i am, after all... and since she feeds me {well, i must say} these days, i want to give back as much as i can... and i enjoy glancing up at sports too)... watching the lakers get taken apart is a little sad, but i dob't mind seeing the arrogant egos drop the ball, so to speak... so lakers and miami can go down... give me the egoless team player like duncan and i find justice and fairness in the universe, after all, true basketball is a team sport (but how few superstars really understand that, aye?)...

meanwhile, even with the distraction of the internet the lonelies roll in a bit tonight as i watch lovers love and friends friend on the tube and in life and also, thanks to facebook friends and a new blog, reminisce about a wonderfully loved time of this life when devotion and unconditional love like never before or since (i know, awwwwwww)... no worries though, someday my sci-fi princess will come, ya know?...

work, foot, rest

i would say doesn't get any more monotonous than this, but it it probably does... the new news today is the foot is finally costing me money, as in the medical bills have arrived... so far, not even the deductible, which is $200 a year, i think... no co-pay so i can't complain too much... of course i turned down the expensive stuff like the mri a c-scan, but tomorrow is another day and we are not healed yet... meanwhile at work, after morning routine, one big excel project for another department took the rest of the day... and now home, changed, happiness was out, and it is relax time... maybe the ncaa game for a change instead of ncis...

are we having fun yet? :)

time flip flops

dichotomy, even... i spend too much time sitting around waiting for the foot to heal waiting for jackson to get home to help me with something and way too much time distracting myself with tv and the internet and then, like now, when i really ought to be sleeping (which may ultimately be the title of my biography if anybody ever writes it), i find i want to share more and nobody is around because most humans sleep at these hours when i feel so alive and so... not enough time to do all i want to do, not enough time to share, too much time just waiting for you, too much time in this chair, waiting right here, already there... la la la... or something like that...

nite nite :)

so much distraction

what might have been three days of change or at least three days of diving into my psyche through the written word became three days of relaxing vegetation as jackson had a guest over and they were in and out all weekend and i chose to socialize whenever they were here and didn't get into writing with any consistency... lots of sports to glance up at on tv... lonely as i am on some levels, but more comfortable vegging alone... tonight i may shower so i don't have to push the foot in the morning... napped whenever they were not home... trying to eat light, though more protein would be wise (not much in the house and i don't want to order in more high caloric food... chinese might be ok but i don't want to spend money either... so i deal with austerity and hope the foot is getting enough protein to rebuild the torn stuff in it)... the babbler was ok with that i guess... i am doing a load of laundry and that is about it... the foot rests and as long as it rests, the pain is minimal half of the time and nagging near moderate after a while... oh, and still hoping the one will show... and that is the exciting report for today... was it worth the wait? :)

hope your life is smiling :)

did i miss this one?

guess so... intended to write something so what might it have been... like i am asking, huh?... got some sleep, though very broken... don't want to be in the way with jackson having a guest over but don't want to put the foot through potentially rolling over the wrong way on the bed either, so i've been semi=napping here in the recliner so they can sit on the couch when they come and go... the clutter doesn't help, but on crutches, dealing with cleaning up clutter is not wise... the less i am on my feet, the less chance i will do damage and set back the healing... it's frustrating, but that's life with a bum foot for now... patience...

i did wander facebook a lot and posted links and commentary about the protests in chicago and the relatively (apparently) random (unless we buy into conspiracy theories) restrictions on facebook and some friendly social chatter... and i wandered a bunch of other places online too... and glanced up at background tv... you can find more details in the blogs that are meant for those things and if you don't know and are curious, look for links in recent entries... or just ask and i will attempt to access memory (short term comes and goes so fast, i would likely have to find time to check links myself)... and dreaming of cuddly adorable unconditionally loving nurses, aye?...

hope you had a good night and morning...

the day online

i spent the day online wandering, stopping in at facebook more than usual (and getting banned there for sending a friend request... see here for more) and glancing up at basketball and softball and ncis on tv now and then and writing a bit in blogs and messages to a few actual in the flesh and blood world people i know and love and resting the foot and all in all, having fun...

i will fill in blanks with links tomorrow...

long day alone

my choice as i could invite people over, but i am too immobile to clean the place up and don't really want anyone around just sitting around bored like me (cuz even sitting up to play a game or something hurts... so i'll just sit back in the recliner with my foot elevated another day)... happiness is already begging for attention... and passing gas... i am running out of air freshener and he has me trapped (trying to laugh, but his farts really stink bad)... so i suppose i will wander the web a while and enjoy the day as much as i can from this seated place... and probably write some too...

hope you make the most of your day :)

not the writing life

living with someone definitely influences the activities and diminishes time for the writing i might do if i lived alone, but i prefer living with jackson to living alone, so it's a compromise i choose... today i woke bubbling over with words and found myself rolling in a dozen different directions and could have probably kept going through the evening and night, but a few hours into the explosion (with at least six blogs going at once), jackson came home from work early and talking and focusing on the living space and music became more important than the writing and so the writing kinda petered out after a few hours... the body then helped distract as the neck pain became severe and rest was needed... and food... and then i walked more than i should have and put too much pressure on the foot so the foot became the throbbing painful distraction it has been and watching tv became the distraction... and now, nothing on tv interests me and jackson went to bed and a lonely night looms as i am way too sedentary stuck in this chair... blah blah blah and so, how are you? :)

even in this blah, i laugh and find fun... back to writing, so as long as the neck lets me :)

time for me, almost

the day was nearly perfect as i fell back to sleep after jackson went to work and even though i am sleeping just in two hour segments (though overnight i slept a full four hour segment, yay, which is why i was refreshed when i woke and the extra sleep of two more two hours segments was sweet... so i wake and find a message from a child once almost mine and the response it inspires sends me to my written gardens and so far the day has inspired a few babbles in private conversations and more in botts and emaginea and rhetoric, even, there is even yet another new one (mentioned so nonchalantly, is that ironic?) potentially starting (nothing written there at this moment) and then jackson comes home which adds a dramatic change in the course of what this day might have provided and isn't that the way life flows when you share it, after all?...

so a wonderful day, though jackson has a lot of tension and angst and issues that interrupted the flow as i helped (i hope) her work through them, which is all i will say about that, and while the day and evening and weekend will not be solitary creative privacy (because i choose to share life by living with an absolutely wonderfully beautiful child, like the child i am could live with a grown up for long {and if you don't know what i mean, you really don't know me so just ask if you want to}, and i am extremely happy with my choices in this life in recent times), it feels like a good one, special even...

i hope your weekend starts out special too, even if it isn't starting early :)

it's your thing

do what you wanna do (with your memories too)... half the world may be too young to remember the songs in my head, which limits the auto-connections perhaps, which leaves me more alone with each passing year... you too, don't think this is just my pity-party (nyuk nyuk, with raspberries)... ah, yes, sigh and alas and sigh and all, there are some wonderful memories to be shared and hopefully more shared memories to be made, maybe even the intimate unconditional trust kinda true love thing, somewhere, somehow, some way, some day, la la la...

where were we?... ever notice how similar those three words are?... anyway, where were we?... it's your thing, and all... do what you wanna do... and my thing is is the keep in touch through these words and to reach out to the internet world through these words and to amuse, distract, explore, inspire, express, dissect, repair, relax, excite, and communicate with myself through these words and also, babble mindlessly, create endlessly, and imagine infinitely through (bet you know by now) these words...

today was a reasonable normal high-tension day, which is a mix of pressure and tension and paranoia and major defensiveness and curiousness all around me (cuz i'm in the middle of another major investigation, fun fun fun, hush hush hush, am i doing this public record of my life while maintaining extreme professional privacy thing right?... hey, this is a parentheses and who pays attention to parentheses, ya know?... who knows, who cares, who what where were we, anyway?)...

narf...

jackson made spaghetti for dinner... perfectly al dente too, her master chefs would be impressed (she likes all those cooking shows, me, they make me hungry... i'm always hungry lately... maybe it's the foot)... and lucky me, she stopped to pick up pistachios and walnuts and code red so i have been snacking and waking up and yummy... cuz what else there, aye?...

i'm here, feel free to show me :)

online shopping

so sitting here with too much time on my hands sitting here, and hungry for different things that the body probably needs, and researching healthy stuff for muscles, i decided i wanted walnuts and flaxseed and a few other things like bcaa and more, but i stopped at the nuts and flaxseed cuz i saw other nuts i wanted (pistachios and cashews and some others) and was closing in on $200 cuz i was shopping at braga farms, an organic family farm in california... bought the flaxseed at puritan's pride, a vitamin company that's been around for a long time... and next week i will ask jackson to pick up boxes at the office and she'll think i am nuts (punny, huh?), but it's easier to shop this way than to keep asking her to stop at stores for me... chocolate? :)

i should probably get some sleep now... you?

treasure the shower

i miss daily showers... as a kid and teen and young adult i would take at least two showers a day, often more... water, especially hot steamy shower water, was one of my best friends... it was meditation, exercise, all sorts of other intangibles and reminded me of how focused i can be in the physical world when i wanted to be... but it has been some time since i had that cuz the hot water here is maybe 110 degrees, maybe less or a little more cuz i can turn on all hot and step into it, slowly, but still don't need to gradually raise the temp as i did when i was younger and even after standing under the all hot for ten minutes the skin is not even close the bright red almost burn that i used to push to back then... am i wandering off on a tangent that probably belongs... yeah, body thoughts...

ok, so anyway, i have been skipping a day in showers cuz of the foot and finally took a shower and though the foot misses the boot and is more swollen and throbbing (though not as bad as it has been, though that could be the aspirins too), the clean feels so good :)

another distracted day at work, but at least i got a little rest at my desk... made reservations for a trip to Tallahassee i must make next month, four weeks, hopefully the foot will be much better by then... at least the car won't have a clutch and i asked for a room near the elevator...

leftovers at home, yummy... ncis for company... how was your day? :)

not so good

tough day, ready to fall asleep halfway through the day and not feeling good at all when i got home... still got some investigative work done this afternoon, but not much else... brain hurts... this is two nights in a row... digestive issues?... blood pressure?... too much sedentary?... eating old food?... not enough fluid?... not enough sleep?... brain tumor?... well, except for the last one, probably a little of all the others... somehow i must find more sleep... no time off this week though, maybe next week... gotta find a way to get more sleep...

i nodded off when i got home, not hungry... woke and ate out of habit, then fell right back to sleep... woke just before jackson got home and watched some basketball with her and now, sitting here wishing for so many things (healed foot, ice cream, chocolate, the one, more love, more sharing, more time off, more sleep, more time to write, more time for music, more time period, more)...

just gotta wait out this foot and then, life changes or i die... nice, huh? :}

so how are you, no really, let it out, aye? :)

body thoughts

so distracted from almost everything else in this life by the body these days because all this sitting around is allowing all the body flaws to kick and fuss and hurt a lot (like the pain in the neck and the tinnitus and the headaches that come when i am too inactive and go without serious sleep for too long) and then the foot tries to out scream them all which makes sleep more challenging and so, whatever... as much as i love laziness and loafing, i am so not built to be sedentary...

meanwhile, except for the body pains, oh, and the loneliness and longing to share unconditional trust, honest love, and everything, i am loving every minute of this life... i worked straight through before 8am past 6pm today and was dehydrated and tired when i got home (and the food hurt, yup) but i wasn't very hungry (too much sitting, not enough moving) but i ate yummy pizza and calzone and then yogurt and fruits (berries, black, rasp, and blue... and cherries) tonight... watched sports (nba, mlb, nhl) and some sci-fi and now i should be getting ready to sleep but the nagging neck, ear, head, and foot (and assorted other aches) is saying no... dumb body, doesn't know what's good for it... time for some mind over matter action, no doubt...

see, everything's fine, i stopped by to update you, all will be well...

just keep swimming, aye? :}

such a mope

that would be me, being mopey, a whiney mope this weekend... a dog is a dog and naturally a dog is gonna take advantage when i am took off balance and weak and distracted to set limits... especially one with old bad habits, so...

new week, start again, right...

the foot is recovering a bit from the morning over-working and the throbbing and pain is back to medium and so, the healing begins again... the tv is breaking, rolling picture happening more and more, especially when there is a lot of movement in the image like right now with the hockey game on... i'm not much into it, too much rolling... so i came back here...

all this sitting around is really monotonous... hopefully tomorrow i will have a better attitude and perspective and fun... how is life in your monotony?...

little nap

the foot is throbbing less, but still not where it was saturday morning when i was feeling quite optimistic... not enough rest or sleep and too much walking on it... happiness woke me again, now he's sitting at the front door... he threw up while i was napping, right in the narrow path to my bedroom... he simply does not want me to be limpy on crutches and wants me to run around with him, i know, but he is making this a weekend from hell and probably setting back healing... i must do a wash now, so i am going to negotiate the bright yellow foamy puddle of bile carrying a load of laundry somehow... last time i tossed stuff in a bin and pushed the bin along the floor with my crutch, but the path is not clear now, so i will figure out how to carry clothes... then i will see if i can get down low enough to clean the carpet... the little details of life are so much easier with two good feet... imagine not being able to walk... we really don't realize how lucky and blessed we are... even frustrated, grumbly, and hurting, i know it's not his fault i can't take care of him the way i usually do... i love happiness, i do, really i do :}

one step at a time :)

ouch again

too much walking without the boot, too much walking period... especially too much walking outside (but happiness needed walking and he just has very bad walking habits always bolting and pulling which can pull a one-legged walker right over)... so stubborn cuz he is conditioned to pull constantly when walking... and he is farting like crazy, stinking up the place... probably because he has to poo but is too stubborn to do it without a walk... and he caught me offguard this morning, bolting out the door, pulling the leash out of my hand, i almost tripped over the newspaper that was right in front of the door, and had to yell hard to get him to come back... probably woke the neighbors... and not enough rest cuz his schedule is early morning walks (been up more than an hour already) so i didn't get to sleep in this morning and the foot hurts too much now to fall back to sleep... am i grumbling too much?... i just want the foot to be able to heal... hopefully this is not too much of a set back, but it really hurts and is throbbing big time again... i am not a happy camper...

good morning...

whiney babble

plenty of it (whiney babble) last night, which is one of the methods to my madness as it simultaneously released the meaningless complaints (and maybe a few meaningful ones, depending on perspective) and allows the babbler to put everything in perspective so the end result is peace, love, happiness, and laughter (ah, laughter, the sweet elixir curing everything)... and today was funish, the ish coming from the tinges of boredom and loneliness cuz i am stuck sitting around alone at home waiting for the foot to heal (jackson is in tampa at a wedding... she's texting pictures and keeping in touch, which helps a lot... i am lucky to have her)... yummy italian food, hopped outside with happiness a few times (poor happiness, he wants to walk and all i can do is take him to the front lawn... he stands there tugging to go farther and doesn't seem to want to poop... he pooped this morning though, so no worries unless he doesn't poop tomorrow morning he is definitely gassy), played a game of ncaa football, and watched random tv... absolutely nothing good tv on does not help...

and that is a synopsis of the day... monotonous, but healing :)

earlier today (satoonday)

i was checking in at the private blog i keep with an old friend, kind of like correspondence, letter writing, pen pals, know what i mean?... anyway, sometimes when i head there before here i sum up the (e)thereal and skip the same update here... this entry is a reminder to myself to not skip this blog cuz, after all, you read here... only one person reads there... and i want to share with anyone who wants to share (which is why i blog, duh)... makes sense to me... so here's the morning entry from there that now becomes the morning entry here (with whatever might jump in here)...

it used to be satoonday, as in saturday morning cartoons, but it seems to me that all the good toons are archived and have been replaced over the years by hyper macho aggressive dark drama soap opera toons, ruthless (and heartless) mechanical creatures, and cheap unimaginative junk (with the skimpy sexy children tossed in for the perversion factor... i mean, cartoons always had to appeal to adults on some level to get parents to think they were doing something good by letting their kids vegetate in front of the tv, right?)... so much just a a series of mediocre action adventure stories or pandering to infants, that's all there is to choose from these days... no more meaningless fun repeated over and over in as many different ways as possible (i mean, how many ways can we go after and fail catching that kwazy wabbit or steal a pickinic basket, hey boo boo?... no, now it's all extreme end of the world drama or empty headed preachy junk... lament and all... so it's the weekend, and what have we done? :)

but then, a case can be made for the ridiculous of animating animals and putting them in conflicting situations that are stupid when humans get into them too... ah, the relativity of entertainment...

this morning i am just sitting here tapping the keys, browsing, glancing up at reruns on tv, maybe i'll play some video game, it's been a week or two.... jackson is going to tampa for the weekend and this weekend happiness is staying with me, so i've got to figure out how to walk the dog on the crutches... i'm the one on crutches, in case you read that last thought differently... dog wants to run run run... i ordered a ton of italian food so i don't have to hop around the kitchen cooking much, just reheat... and rest... rest rest rest...

so wants your week been like?...

wherever

it is sweetness personified to feel caring, especially when loneliness and physical challenges gang up, and online caring comes in all shapes and forms in all sorts of places... sometimes it's sharing a few words with a stranger, like on facebook... lots of people are doing the facebook thing these days and for many, much of their free time is spent and social life is augmented, even dominated for some, by facebook sharings... i am not there much, but i keep in touch... and others find the same or more sharing on twitter... and others, other places... the online world is an amazing opportunity for sharing, especially for keeping in touch with far off old friends old and starting out with new friends, especially for babblers and other lovers of the written word, but personally i still prefer the offline world when sharing is available from someone who can appreciate me (and vice versa)...

so i spent my time here first, in this daily blog and in other blogs meant for all sorts of reason, and some days there's no time for the public places (many days, in fact, some days there is not even time for here, after all)... and i just want you to know i appreciate you finding me here... even more, i appreciate you coming back to check up on me... but wherever i am and wherever you are, thank you for caring :)

calm down everybody

the foot (see links at right for details) hasn't fallen off yet, so sit back down and stop all the pacing and stressing, i mean, my doctor is not Dr. Nick, or even Dr. Hibbert for that matter, though i won't be settling for a pa read of an xray if i need one again in this life... i shall survive and will be running a 5k before the end of the year... hopefully before the end of the summer (i like to surprise doctors and do not like extended layoffs)... calm down, no worries, i shall push the rehab with care... i hope to be playing softball again by early july when the next season starts... though i may not run the bases right away... one step at a time, one base at a time...

i appreciate all the concern though :)

mixed results

so the doctor read the xray and decided there was fresh breaks in the bone, chips off the end of the tibia... and at least three areas of ligament damage... all those big words, plantar this and extensor that and maybe an mri, but let's wait another ten days and hope to save the $ cuz it might not be as bad as all that... and yesterday's research to refresh my memory was spot on, as my british compadres would glib... parlez-vous foreign?...

the brain is fluttering a bit, too much bad news, too much pain, too much resistance to accepting physical reality, too much potential aging all at once (this is how people have sudden heart attacks, after all, sudden change in lifestyle, sudden sedentary body bloat, sudden increase in blood fat and slugging pumping in spite of elevated pressure... and then i am gonna want to run a marathon as soon as i can... see, fluttering between logic and desire, between pain and stir-crazy, between work and play, between up side and down... and how do i keep this constant foot-news from boring us to sleep?...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

i wish, if sleep would come that easy, i might be a bit less fluttering, brain-wise... maybe not so wise, come to think of it... it all changed on one step... can word-play save us?... well, that's up to you, it usually saves me... me and ncis and maybe a little idol are gonna lay back and hope sleep sneaks up... hope you are making the most of your life today too :)

morning moments (sorta)

not the golden delicious sweetness of the day off endless morning moments when each moment is a semi-blissful eternity in that place between sleep and awake where you almost still remember dreams, but at least a few extra moments to smile at the words (and the world through the words) and say good morning to you (or hello, as it is afternoon, evening, or night for some of you) and wish you a splendiforous time ahead... i head out to the foot doctor now, the ortho-surgeon, for a check out of the foot... sure enough the morning brings so much less pain i can almost put pressure on the heel (which is a good sign for the ankle, i believe)... so i dress me and dress the foot and away i go...

make today a big smile - do something you love to do :)

no aspirins tonight?

i am trying to find sleep without aspirins... almost got there a little earlier, but going to the bathroom was enough to wake the foot and keep me awake so here i am again... so not cool... so i did some foot r e s e a r c h and that certainly helped reduce the stress level oodles, no doubt... i wonder if this calm forte stuff will mask the pain... i wonder if it will help me sleep... i wonder if it will make waking at 6am to be stable enough to shower and groom and head to the appointment by 8am challenging... i wonder if anybody cares (yeah, it's one of those nights i guess... and i really don't want to eat any worms, really i don't)... so now friends is all i can find on tv and that's certainly comforting to see a group of people who care about each other, fictitious as it may be, and even in the real, a group of people who had fun working together creatively for years, yup, that sure does help...

grumply, lonely, whiney, baby, that's me tonight...

wanna come over? :}

it hurts

a touch of stress over what the doc might have to say about the foot has me tense tonight...

more later maybe...

cuz it hurts...

not much different

nodded off before ncis ended, which is a good thing... woke a few ago and find myself aching away again, which is not such a good thing... reached for two more aspirins, which is not what i wanted to do today, but i want sleep more than i want clarity on the pain for the doctor and hopefully i will not take any tomorrow night and provide the doctor a less masked pain report come thursday morning... meanwhile, i shall see if i have the focus to write a bit now...

always hoping someone somewhere is interested in reading, right? :)

life continues ya know?

yup, even when i skip a day, life goes on, with us, without us, life proceeds... as monotonous as it seems, life is still dominated by the foot as much as it was last week and any day since, well, now 15 days... sleep was very poor last night, just poor the night before... today was rough, on my feet way too much, stopped for junk for food so i wouldn't have to get up after getting home, getting happiness out, using the bathroom myself, and parking for the night... hopefully sleep will come during ncis tonight and i will not wake until morning... doubtful, but there's always hope...

another complaint inspection at work today, way too many lately keeping routine work from getting done... we skated through again in spite of the numerous potential citations... the luck of drawing an inspector who focuses on the complaint and ignores anything not directly related to the complaint and gives the benefit of doubt to the facility based largely on trust in what i say will be fixed... we do good, but we can do better... and i continue, kinda like life, pushing for the better...

gonna kick back and watch tv now... nite nite (i hope :)

throb thrub foot foo

boo for bad reactions to other drugs (did not like hydrocodon last week and only took three before stopping {there are thirty in the bottle} which is weird cuz i used to love opiates but i stopped the hydrocodon in spite of the pain and the need to move around and work and i even take aspirin only sparingly cuz for all my experimenting and loving drugs as a kid, i am, except for fun and experimenting, and always was anti-poison for my own personal use in this body, which is why the pain is so present, alas, i never wanted to be one of the cool kids, just wanna have some fun and learn and i learned i don't like hyrdrocodon)...

my busy day will be trying to motivate myself into a shower, a project that makes me regret living poorly cuz with $ i'd have a step in shower with a bench like i had in my house instead of struggling to climb into a slippery bathtub with one foot and then stand on one foot maneuvering soap and wash and rinse (especially the long hair) without causing more damage to the foot or falling... and then, perhaps heating up some chinese food in the tiny kitchen without hurting the foot, and then, amusing myself in this chair... oh, and i might have to squeeze in a few pees and a poop each day, fun fun fun... the body talks more lately and doesn't have too many nice things to say these days... thanks for listening to the baby whine :)

i am hoping for improvement soon, it's been two weeks... i see the doctor for the first time this thursday... he better not have any bad news cuz i really do not want to feel badly stupid for not insisting to see the doctor sooner... there's always hope... he ought to confirm the pa was wrong though...

so all in all, all is well, aye? :)

maybe a little better

i hopping to the kitchen to heat up leftovers and may have put a bit of weight on the heel a few times and when i finally got back off my feet after a half dozen trips back and forth i did not have the same excruciating pain and could actually eat the food without waiting a half hour for the pain and throbbing to subside... yeah, that is how it was until last night and today... last night i just waiting fifteen minutes before my appetite returned... this last time i just put the foot up for a few minutes and the throbbing went down to make the food more important than the foot...

yay for healing... still have the sharp pains in the specific spots which puzzle me... four more days and the doctor will reassure me that my paranoia about inadequately read xrays is just that, paranoia... i watch too much tv... the food was delicious... and there is at least two more meals and several portions of soup, so five meals would bring the cost of each delicious shrimp-lobster-scallops meal to about $28 each including tax and tip... it might even go to a sixth meal which would be a more economical $23.33 per meal delivered to the door... easily could have been eight meals, shhhh, i know :)

what else do i have to do?... wanna play a game? :)

foot?

of course foot... everything is foot... foot is life... foot is the universe... foot is the dominant species... foot is overriding hunger, comfort, sex, everything... of course we have not tried chocolate and haven't had caffeine since last weekend before last weekend, but foot is still everything... picture a ten-ton foot five hundred feet tall attached to a normal sized body... maybe i exaggerate... picture an infant sized body... and double the foot...

laughter is the best medicine, even if it doesn't always work... it is working to amuse me, but not to diminish the pain, discomfort, or most of all, trapped feeling of not being able to move around the way i am used to... i take back all my laziest fantasies about wondering what it would be like to be able to write all day and browse the net all night cuz the body was stuck in a chair... nope, don't wanna be stuck in a chair no matter how lazy i get no matter how much working life gets in the way of the writing and communicating and creativity i love...

get better already! (to the foot)...

self-absorbed

definitely, focused on healing the foot and not falling or hurting the when i stand or move in any way at any time does leave less room for anything outside of myself these days... and being home alone with nothing to do but sit and watch or read or type again does not give me much opportunity to share (except words when someone responds or reaches out, which happily happened a few times today, yay for people who care or at least yay for curiosity) or focus outside of myself... imagination remains... when the foot is not demanding all my mental energy...

the foot is having it's best day yet, thought the leg muscles are cramping a bit from lack of movement... i remain positive most of the time, though still wonder if the pa was right... seems if there was no breaks the bottom of the foot should be feeling better by now... see, the foot dominates the thought process, so we are back to monotony i suppose... anybody still here? :)

watching tv... nothing good on tonight... snl again disappoints... maybe i should have found a way to get some caffeine and chocolate... jackson offered before she came home friday, but i said no... chinese food was good though... food, tv, am i starting to go stir crazy?...

yummy leftovers

yes, when the delivery order is:

Egg Roll (3)
Spring Roll (Shrimp) (3)
Krab Rangoon (6)
BBQ Ribs (Bone-in)
Wonton Soup
Egg Drop Soup
Hot & Sour Soup
Fried Rice: shrimp
Shrimp with Black Bean Sauce
Pecan Shrimp (A truly unique dish, giant shrimp lightly fried in a citrus flavor honey brown sauce, topped with honey glazed pecan)
Soft Shell Crabs (Lightly battered and quick-fried in choice of salt & pepper, or spicy szechuan sauce)
Seafood Pan Fried Noodle (Fresh lobster meat, giant shrimps, krab meat, and sea scallops with Chinese vegetables in a light clear sauce on a bed of pan-fried noodle)

you should know there will be leftovers... especially since jackson didn't want any last night before leaving for the weekend so it's all for me... sure i could invite people over, but i am so not in the mood for company when i don't even want to hobble to the bathroom to pee and the heating up of the food exhausted me and had the foot throbbing and i barely slept all week so today i just want to nap whenever it comes... see, so it's not all food greed (and he grins which disguises the sadness that comes from inwardly acknowledging the fact that there is nobody close enough to feel comfortable depending on even when i am almost immobile, but we'll leave that in this parentheses cuz there's no point bringing me down today... especially not with the yummy food)...

so it's kind of like i have a chinese buffet in the house and all i've got to do is heat up whatever i want... that's the trick, hopping to the kitchen and getting the stuff out of the fridge, spooning it into a heat-able dish, and getting it in and out of the oven and all of it back over to the chair to eat (not to mention getting what is left back in the fridge and oh yeah, clean up)... it was challenging... iu did some in the microwave and some in the oven... soup doesn't heat well in either though, but i didn't go for the stove-top too... don't want more to clean... there will be soup for jackson and i to share during the week... but anyway, no spills or falls today and yummy food is giving me a sweet endorphin high now...

and since i have nothing much more to do than sit here, watch tv, play the video game, and browse or type on the laptop, we have another update... the foot is hurting a little more again, but even with all the hopping (shower, cooking, etc) and no boot on all day (oh, the shower was sweet, in spite of the pain and challenge), the pain is less than last week... healing?... we can hope... i still wonder if there isn't a break in one or two of the foot bones... anyway, here are more mundane details, just in case someone wants to know, ya know?... the one will, i mean, i want to know all about her... if you don't know that by now, you must have just recently arrived to my written world... hope you enjoy your visit and if you stick around, hope you let me know...

make your day yummy too :)

saturday, parked at home

reference to chicago's song intended... so the body (foot, nmostly) report is challenging, but a bit better and the babbler wants out (as noted in the previous entry and the foot is ever present everywhere, but not demanding nearly as much energy so far today and i even got many hours of, however broken, sleep last night switching from the chair to the couch a few times as i woke about every two hours... the good news is i was able to fall back to sleep and did not stay away for an hour or more before the throbbing allowed sleep again... and today i am parked here in the chair, a bit bored, a bit more lonely, but happy to be able to sit here nearly naked, drying and recuperating (looking at the word, it's so appropriate cuz it's kind of like re-filling your cup, re-CUP-erating, get it?... hey, i better be easily amused this weekend or i will go stir crazy, ya know?), so i am re-cuping (very appropriate for coffee drinkers, i suppose, though i have not touched caffeine in more than a week cuz who needs it sitting all the time) and gonna enjoy a random, albeit stationary, weekend (who knows, i might just ramble on as i finally have a little forced time in this blogging life and oh, the places we might go, aye? (there's always hope :)

and i hope, no matter what, your weekend (and attitude) starts off with a big smile too :)

monotony

monotony is a lot more obvious when time seems to slow and time seems to crawl when pain is constant and so, the monotony of daily life is vividly apparent to me these days... of course the monotony may be driving you nuts (or away) if you come here every day to ready the same thing said in an ever so slightly different way (and if you love words that much that you are still amused or fascinated or smiling, please share some of yours)...

it remains all about the foot, as i was telling a friend (sorta)...

my day was painful, but i still got a good amount of work done at work and left just before four to get home and tidy up a bit and get a load of laundry done... that was a huge challenge on one foot with crutches in a ridiculously cramped laundry closet where you have to dance around the doors to get clothes in... took happiness out for a bit too, just to the stairs so he had 20 feet or so of lawn... by the end the foot was raging and hopefully the few time i slip a put ridiculously little pressure on it is not setting back the healing or worse, doing longer term damage... after all, i have five softball teams (at least, others who ask me to fill in when i can... could have played four games tonight if i had a foot, err, two feet, i have one after all) asking me when i will be pitching for them every week... anyway, got the shirts pants and socks for next week washed and hung up, sort of, somehow... some stuff is still on the couch, but jackson is going away for the weekend so it won't be in her way... happiness is going to stay with a friend... no nurse all weekend, alas...

ordered a ton of chinese food for dinner and the weekend tonight... well, not a ton, about four dinners, or maybe three, i forget... that way i won't have to cook or move much, just hop to the kitchen and heat up a bit of each, like a mini buffet...

i will now sit and see if the foot will stop hurting for a while... concentration is not easy, but it is a little better than last night... i think the food helped a lot (i didn't eat or move much last night, just sat and ate the crackers next to me)...

yeah, actually, i barely ate the past few nights... veggies and crackers and yogurt and cheese... a few cold cut sandwiches and bananas since last week and that's it... no chocolate or code red (or any soda) and no bread for almost a week... the pants were loose today, but that's a good thing cuz these are my biggest pants... it would be nice to step back down to my middle sized pants again, i'd have more selection from my closet... yeah, i have an inch or few more than i need around my belly... you know this already if you've seen the pictures of me that people put on facebook...

obviously the babbler is sort of awake... i wish i had the focus to let the mind go, but it's taken me hours to put this entry together and most of it is borrowed from a message to someone else (but the babbler is bubbling over with verbosity)... maybe i should take a few hydrcodon (house does) and see where it takes us... i would so much rather have marijuana though... yeah, obviously feel like just letting the old brain wring itself out any which way tonight...

hey, is this breaking the monotony? :)

seems like red

feels more numb though... except when i move... but at least the foot brings me back here to tap a few more words that might make some difference somehow and mean something to someone and ultimately bring some meaningful sharing into this life offline (we can start online, ya know?... hint hint)... meanwhile, i am trying to focus on the numb to overcome the pain and the effort may be paying off as long as i do not move... i could lament and ask, quite honestly and justifiable (even if there's a touch of whine in it), who cares?, but then, who cares, aye?...

smirks are allowed... even if they are meaningless like the tree that falls in the forest that nobody hears, sees, or smirks back at... but there is always that waterboys song, if you know what i mean...

see me waving? :)

doesn't get easier

but it keeps getting better... not the pain in the foot, which is throbbing and aching to the point of distraction enough to keep me sitting for the rest of the night even without food or drink, but the challenges i create (if you look at it from that perspective) at work continue to get more challenging and today, i reached a new peak of risk management as the facility got through yet another investigation without a stain on the outside... some blood may be spilled on the inside, but that's my job, expose the dirty laundry, encourage people to clean up their acts, or simply, protect the place, fix the place, and dance with the devil in the pale moonlight... and to sorta quote forrest gump, that's all i've got to say about that...

oh, but the foot hurts now...

momentary clarity

perhaps, or perhaps the moment passed before i found the words, but the process of healing continues and the distortion in thinking and perception (not to mention movement) continues as i deal with the sometimes profound distraction of relatively constant pain... not a good place to be, as at least one of you know all too well (as much as empathy is a powerful force towards understanding, actual experience of being in another person's shoes (bad pun for me) and experiencing some of the physical experiencing someone experiences is way more real than any empathy, so ... hug, for what it's worth)... and then there are some around here who have had injuries before and many are concerned because of their own experience but with a hug i say i don't want to hear the negativity of permanent ankle injury that i keep hearing from people who did not do what they needed to do to heal and rehab right from similar joint injuries, thank you very much (got to be firm, even hard, on that point)...

day by day, hour by hour, movement by movement, moment by moment, i just must retain enough focus to do what i must do to heal properly... and tonight, that meant falling asleep in the recliner immediately after i hopped happiness out for a walk, fed him, fed myself, and writing briefly to a friend (personal letters, oh how i miss them... it is good to have one person who knows me well back in a semi-regular written correspondence mode)... waking after a four hour cycle to empty the bladder, i distracted myself with the ncaa football video game and then came here to update as i do in this blogging life (that is actually a blog itself, in case you didn't know... so many now, 63 right here at blogspot (blogger/google or vice versa), sheesh, right?... or as craig would say, i know... i miss his personality and humors, gonna turn him on now (he'd like that, he's so easy)...

hopefully the foot will allow for a few hours more sleep tonight... might not shower, that's a time consuming physical challenge that could lead to disaster so i am taking thak risk as few times as i can stand... shush, i know i don't smell like my usual squeaky clean self, not like anybody is body inspecting these day, aye?... oh sure, remind me... someday my princess will come, cuz there's always hope, i hope, la la la... grinning through the pain :}

take care of you and kit, aye? :)

missed the day

actually, missed a lot of days, but this day, the first of may, is especially missed... so i return now, whenever now is, to refresh the memory of the day (or something like that)... it was always a day of profound feeling and music and memories and rhyme... the music is so far away sometimes from the daily life and the people in it... the memories way much farther away... many years since anything deeply meaningful has been shared or created, alas... so i mourn a bit and at least stop by a couple of hours after the fact to acknowledge when i was small... and how we used to laugh while others used to play... because even if you never really knew that experience that concept and experience meant so very much to me (from the library corner through the leap off the precipice and the beginning of the end marked by tape 62 and the selected rest {72, 85, 95, and so on through 305, 351, 365-9 [or was that 165-9, alas, memories fade], and yours [and mel's and... alas], 387, 390, 391... sigh} that followed)... wow, that was an unexpected aside... and just the tip of the tip of the whole...

happy first of may and thank you for being in touch...

foot foot foot, what?

yes, still preoccupied with the foot, pain does that... worked all day on very little sleep... finally fell asleep just after 2am and woke just after 4am needing to pee... the foot was aching majorly (which probably is what woke me) and i fell over one to the couch and the bed on the way to the bathroom... seriously, pain is suppose to go down with time during healing, right?... apparently changes in blood pressure plays a big role in this pain... it's kind of like when your foot falls asleep and you feel the tingling waking it, that is blood rushing into your foot... well for me, that blood rushing into the foot is a severe pain in a specific spot every time and sometimes, in a few spots... would be good to get an actual doctor to check it out with this new information i suppose... maybe i will call to move up the appointment tomorrow...

work was work, almost caught up on the three days i was out (and 40+ more incidents, not counting the missing or late ones, arrive this morning to review, investigate, and 'make safe')... was able to put a small amount of pressure on the foot in the boot (actual pressure is on the heel) and hop around with one cruch which let me get happiness out and also let me get food from the fridge... a half hour of that with the foot down. lowering the foot, however, and the limit as the pain said stop and elevate... then the cycle of throbbing pain each time i lower the foot begins again... not sure if it is getting worse, will continue monitoring (like i have a choice... the foot dominates the brain these days)...

so how is your foot?... i mean, how are you?... we are more than a foot, right? :}