weekends fly by

yup, the weekends just fly by these days and since the weekends are the only time i can spend more than a few hours sleeping, resting, relaxing, and most importantly, returning to a quiet moment inside of me where i can be peacefully in touch with myself with no other obligations or distractions (for more than a few hours, key point), it feels like life is passing in weeks rather than in days or hours or moments and that is way too fast for a brief life span of less than a hundred years (less than 5200 weeks)... the brief meditation moments each day or each hour are just not enough, no matter how genuinely centered and in touch they are with the ultimate universal consciousness and so on...

humans are masochistic fools afraid of experiencing life, alas... still, another wonderfully fun-filled weekend is almost gone (still have softball and the evening ahead to enjoy after a wonderful sleep, yay for rest)...

hope your weekend was wonderful too :)

the continuing saga

repetition is the sincerest form of praise?.. no wait, that's imitation... repetition is the harbor of the lazy mind?... the refuge of the uncreative mind?... the folly of the wasted life?... sometimes fun?...

probably all of the above, depending on perspective, and when it down, check b (for multiple choice questions), but in this case, whatever... and another game night passes into history with much fun and frolic, or at least fun... win some, lose some, as long as the game continues to be fun, the fun continues and that is the point of playing... or something like that...

too much sugar and snack, as usual, but the 5k this morning was a step (or several hundred, thousand, even) in the right direction... softball tomorrow, sleep would be wise tonight... so much laundry and packing and cleaning to do, gonna be a very busy week... maid, anyone?...

hope you love life too :)

party on garth

yeah, we continue, friends, roamers, and country folk in the various collections of peoples with whom i've connected in recent years, to play our nightly games and tonight, it was downtown for a massive game (and snacks, don't forget the snacks... burp) where we had fun fun fun without a t-bird, a fine way to end a long (as in loooooooong) week of work and a fine start to a long (ditto) weekend of play and moving and play and moving and play...

in about four hours it's up and out for a 5k run for charity and then a bit of shopping and then to the new apartment to sign the lease, pick up the keys, spray for the usual florida bugs, and then start packing and moving... somewhere along the way i will try to get a little sleep and rest...

hope your life is busy with fun fun fun too :)

time for the internet

i don't find much time for the internet these days after a quick update in a blog or few and every few days a quick check on my email and facebook (i try to check in at least once a week as friends do communicate there a lot and twitter intrigues me cuz it can take so little time and i can keep track of a few people i'd like to keep in touch with if i ever meet them, but i keep repeating that the cellphone is the best and only reliable way to reach me) and quick reading of random websites (cuz i don't watch the news but still find some use for knowing a bit about what is going on in the world) and... tonight, however, i stayed up later and made time to visit places i don't usually visit like meetup and i even joined a few new meetups (not that i'll find time to go anytime soon, but maybe) and the dream lives, after all (finding the one, that is), so i'll put myself out there pretty much any way i can...

so anyway, maybe you're interested in knowing more or all or something about me in real time so i keep making notes here, see, they're all for you (aren't you special :)

make it fun :)

success

the survey is over and while we did not get a perfect report, far from it, we did not have any critical findings and received very high praise in many areas from the surveyors which was amazing to the corporate vice presidents because the lead surveyor we had was known for being very harsh on some good programs... that's my job, so it feels good when it goes well...

and tonight we won at softball after a shakey first inning where errors and a couple of good hits gave up five runs, i shut them out until the seventh when a couple of errors gave up two more runs, but we scored nine so we won 9-7...

home to leftover chinese and yummy ice cream and here we are... gonna work light tomorrow and probably leave early, games tomorrow night, early morning 5k saturday, and then focus on laundry and packing cuz time is running out on time for packing...

great week, hope your week is going as well :)

morning doesn't break much anymore

waking in the dark, slept eight hours in two four hour segments, which is how i do sleep most naturally, and gonna shower now and head out to work... the scallops must have been ok as i didn't get sick... i just spent an hour visiting meetup for the first time in many months and wouldn't you know there's a history center game night tomorrow that i'd not have known about if i didn't wake early and impulsively go there for the first time in many month and join a couple of new groups... maybe i'll meet the girl of my dreams cuz of this coincidence, aye?...

yeah, it's fun in my head... hope you have fun too :)

moment to continue

long day of running down paper and answering questions... stopped for chinese food on the way home... the scallops tasted a little funny... gonna get some sleep soon if i nod off just right... another early day tomorrow, exit conference and we find out how we did... feeling good, overall... softball tomorrow night... rest friday... gotta pack and get set to move, but the timing couldn't be more right... maybe life is gonna smile around me as much as it does inside for a change...

hope you have good news too :)

what else could happen

well, life could be turned completely upside down by sudden betrayals by people you trust, but then, that's happened a few times already in this life and odds would be against that if odds mattered... yeah, waxing philovit tonight...

could be a tornado...

joint commission came today, fun fun fun... see you in a few days :)

ridiculous lack of time

ok, so there are 27 open tabs in my browser at the moment and every one holds potential for further exploration that i do not wish to close before exploring that potential and perhaps the busines work week of the year is beginning in just four hours and sleep (and laundry and shower and life) must be squeezed into the bits of time between intellectual explorations on the web (ok, so they aren't all that intellectual, sheesh, can't a guy in a corporate rat race have any fun these days?) and the professional stuff i do to pay the bills and reward the heart with the altruistic giving caring sharing i so love to do (and at least i can do it professionally when an intimate relationship with the one and only love of my life isn't available)...

if only there was more time, the browser might not lock up so much :}

open box

once again i return to an open box that i forgot i opened whenever i opened it some hours or however much ago and i remember wandering off into a dozen other websites and a few other activities and now, here we are again with memories, however vague, of the memories i was going to share when i first came to this open box...

the other team did not show for the first game, so we won by forfeit and the second game, the other team was not having a good day and we were, so we won 19-3 (they might have scored 4 or 5, i'm not sure)... i pitched well, fielded ok (no errors), hit poorly (grounded out), but walked two or three times which loaded the bases or forced in a run... and so we start this new season off with a 2-0 record and wow, nice of y'all to show up to play this week, guys and gals... i think everybody had fun even though one or two mumbled something oppositional as i whipped them around the bases... i mean, we did win (big) and i'm pretty sure that's what we all wanted (to win) and we're not gonna win if we don't score runs and we're not gonna score runs if we all don't run around the bases whenever we get the chance, right? :)

jackson's team (da bears) lost and while i'm not nearly as heartbroken, the jets lost and so the superbowl is frustrating arouns here as jackson doesn't like either team (as both are rivals of da bears) and i'm not really invested in specific teams (i root for a few players and none of the players on the two teams in the superbowl are on my short list so i'll root for whomever jackson decides to root for come our superbowl party)...

and that was sunday and i hope you enjoyed yours too :)

well lookie here

back in the bedroom in the big green chair and just the other night or two ago i was on the verge of disregarding the import of the big green chair and tossing it to the curb and i still might because it's the big green shair or a bed in the new apartment coming in the next two weeks or so and i kinda should really ought to have a bed at this point in life...

had fun tonight at the game night old fashioned style at the local meetup game night leaders (or organizers, as meetup calls them) house and saw bunches of people i had not seen in months and the same old song played and it was fun and the cute one (gotta have a nickname here in this blog, ya know) was on a roll and won three games of oh hell in a row and i was right behind her the whole way losing by one point in the first and two points in the second and i didn't play the first she played and won and cute and smart is just not fair, after all...

home now, jackson asleep so i headed into the bedroom to listen to music because there's really nothing on the toob at this hour and i love music and also, it was xmas at the post office again and i have boxes to open which will happen as soon as i stop typing this entry...

hope you had find tonight too :)

running late

for a social life... as usual, i am trying to give myself some personal relaxation time before heading out to a game night... i actually opened this box to type some words shortly after waking hours ago and i'll post an entry based on an email i wrote after opening this box which lead me to try to find the person i was emailing on facebook which lead to wandering a bit and searching and eventually back to livejournal for the first time since early last year via a comment (probably a spambot) left for me there and i forgot how much i heart post secret but that's besides the point and so, i'll post that previous entry i mentioned and then head out for some fun...

hope you are having fun too :)

what was meant to be said here

just woke up, groggy, will explore the kro magnon profiles on facebook cuz i am finally responding to email and received on from someone from the original asylumtm, a yahoo chat room, and that cyber place holds many fond memories for me... i had sixteen or so different names cuz yahoo allowed up to sixteen identities at the time and i've got at least that many in my sleep... someday i will search the hard drives of my old broken computers and blow my mind, maybe a few others too... a lot of somedays are required to complete all the things i'd like to do, hopefully i'll live to a few thousand or so like what's his name in heinlein's 'time enough for love'...

and so, as the babble ooozes out of the blurry blinkers that are just barely wake in my brain (the screen is blurry as i've not wiped the sleep from my eyes just yet), i shall visit facebook for a few, drop a few words into (e)thereal, my primary daily blog spot these days (and probably cheat by using some of this writing you've inspired as the first entry for today, thanks), probably visit a few other places that randomly or impulsively attract my attention, glance up at nfl playoffs if i motivate myself to find the remote and turn on the tv (forgetting those are tomorrow), shower, and then head out to a game night with some friends, some of whom i have not seen in a few months... yay for meetup and facebook for keeping my social life alive even when i am hibernating or buried in workworld...

hope you make your day fun too :)

the usual madness?

the question mark points to the question (huh?) of whether my madness is madness or usual or secretly pure genius in disguise, kinda like seth macfarlane... like after realizing that i am burning out and have a few very bad habits (behavioral patterns?) that are causing life-threatening deterioration and aging in this body (say whaaaat?... thanks stewie), i decide it's time for kettle-cooked cape cod five cheese potato chips and mountain dew, white out and code red cuz mixtures are da bomb, cha know?... bloat (referencing one or both of the previously linked blog again?... you'll have to check it out to know, ya know?)...

so the neck fatigue/ache continues, but the mind continues even more and the words flow and the giggles glow and the semen sow and the seeds grow and, wait, what was this entry about again?... perhaps only mmy hairdresser knows for sure... is she really going out with him? (what alicia silverstone's face has to do with any of this is a question we'll have to ask her when she shows up... remind me, ok?)...

so i ate, nodded off, watched tv, wandered the web, and here we are... are you enjoying your friday night?... sleeping? :)

short weekend

so much to do... basics like laundry and cleaning and packing cuz the new leasse begins in eight days and this one ends in sixteen says and there's so much work at work and games the next two saturdays and softball the next two sundays and thursday night too, so much to do... so much to do...

the usual work work work at work today cuz that's the way i like it when i am on a roll, though i did give an interview to a grad student which was a forty minute break from the spreadsheets and reports (wow, did i almost decided to take a lunch break?) and much done with plenty more to do next week...

home late with eggplant rollatini and a yo-yo. yum, and nodded right off after eating before uploading this so it's being finished and uploaded now because, of course, you are just dying to know...

ah, the importance of self-importance to survival, or something like that :)

anybody here?

i wouldn't know this week as i stop by to leave a few words and after clicking the publish post button, drift off the wherever (sleep even, the past night or two... tonight, a bit more awake, but so zombie, cha)...

lost our first softball game tonight... we didn't hit well, i was one for one but we only scored 5 runs which is not the way to win in softball... the other team technically only scored 5 runs, but the ump blew it and gave them two runs against the rules... a guy used an illegal bat and his hit scored two runs, but the rules say the batter is out automatically if he uses an illegal bat so no runs can score if that's three outs, but the blue gave them the two runs so they won 7-5... i did get ray landsford out three times (former st. louis cardinal outfielder)...

work was busy as usual, another 12+ hour day... same for tomorrow... work 6am to 7pm then head out for an 8:30 game then home a little while ago and wandering the web and nodding, sorta...

hope you had fun today too :)

strange browser stuff

so i set my internet explorer to allow cookies and allow popups and allow a specific website in to my trusted sites zone and suddenly the site has an exception error that will not allow me to access it... go figure... so i'm gonna have to head into work a couple of hours early cuz i didn't bring home my laptop last night... sucks to be a responsible executive sort, ya know?...

sometimes i wonder why i rejoined the madness of private corporate board rooms... in any case, for anyone actually reading this (do i really have one follower now?... hello follower, who are you and why are you following me?... i hoope the question does not scare you off cuz i would like a bit of interaction amidst all of these words {might i refer you to my pathetic pleas for attention sprayed wildly throughout my many thousands of journal, diary, and blog entries over the years?} as i laugh at the folly of strangers on the net exchanging comments {there's a song lyric in that phrase if you're knowledgeable enough about music or old enough to remember and while the first rhyme second line that came to mind was lovers of the drink exchanging vomit was not as appealing and therefore did not inspire the mock song to continue, it is an idea i will patent in my mind for future exploration and you can too, but integrity would lead you to come over first if you understand my drift and stream of consciousness or want to at all} and balance the desires to share with the love of solitary expression and acceptance of what is in this life, or something like that)...

what? :)

gym, shower, then work... think it'll happen this morning? :)

some twenty five hours ago

or something like that... i woke and decided to head to the gym and showered and relaxed and napped a few minutes and went to work... twelve hours later i was just getting started (in high gear) and somewhere in my subconscious i decided to get several reports done that meant pulling an all nighter at the desk once again... well, almost, for here i am and i think i got most of the reports done, but then, it was my subconscious working, i was dancing on a cloud somewhere or other...

and here we are again, home in a semi-sweet stupor, chopped down on fast food fresh frozen from the all night supermarket freezer with a stop in the microwave to take the chill off... good and bloated now, yeah, cuz when i get this tired i don't feel the stomach expanding beyond sensible limits and i'll eat as long as there's food... luckly, i lose interest before i explode... thank goodness for add...

so as we slide laughing into the night, i wish you peace and love and lots of whatever you want in life and may you enjoy it all and share it with the one you love and i hope you had a wonderful day in your mind too :)

remember that 42 hour day?

i mean the one that i am been petitioning the universe for all these many years (with time being relative to the universe, it could be forever, or just about to happen)... as it still has not happened and the only way to squeeze all i want to do into the 24 hours currently allotted for each day is to reduce sleep, i am considering giving up television again so i can become more of a morning person so i can get to the gym before the sun rises and then sit here doing my writing browsing watching reading exploring thing while i drip dry after showering after returning from the gym and then still getting to work earlier than my 9-5 supposedly 40 hour week... since i havem't left the office before 8pm in the past two weeks and i've been working on the weekends and overnights, i see very little time left for anything else and i would like to keep in touch with people so i shall utilize facebook and text messages for communications cuz that maximizes the connections while minimizing time allotted to communications and we shall see how it goes... might even consider twitter...

i still want the 42 hour days though...

and so it went

or goes, but that's been done and still nobody knows and still i dream of the one who will... dinner was good, especially the company and somehow i consumed more alcohol than i have in a long time, but not enough to stop me from heading out after midnight after dinner when these friends and jackson went to bed to join another group of night time card players for a couple of games and now, back home again, still wide awake at four am looking for more fun and people to play with not a soul in sight (all i ever needed was the one, ya know?... sigh, smile, and all that jazz :)

i hope your night was fun too :)

still yet another (open box)

and stil yet another not double entendre or physical world reference, but once again another open box on blogger waiting for words and what ho, i woke from a bumpy day asleep (bumpy because the phone kept ringing) and sat down here for a few moments to let the daylight in and glance up at the nfl playoff game and check facebook and plentyoffish and what not (even email) and soon, shower and out the door to dinner at a neighbor who is also a friend from before we moved in here...

worked on and off all night until well after sunrise to catch up on the work not done cuz of being away from the office and that's the saturday you visited so far... how was your day? :)

sheesh, another whataweek

and still more work to do and jackson said i'd be up doing it at 3am and she appears to be close as i am waking from a very brief nap and typing with the work laptop right next to me ready to play with some numbers and reports... responsibility is madness at times...

left work at noon after three hours of meetings (two hours of trainings i did in spite of the passive aggressive negativity from a couple of directors) cuz jackson's car exploded (ok, the water pump belt snapped and the pump, thermostat, and hoses needed replacing) and happiness was at the vet at the time, so i picked her and happiness up and drove her around taking care of errands and then we picked up her car and stopped at work to pick up my laptop so i can get some work done this weekend and then came home and took a walk and watched tv and browsed online and ate food and that's today...

i spent a couple of hours nodding off while trying to browse plentyoffish (wanna see my profile or chemistry test results or relationship needs assessment?) and came away emailing one person (and then looked at hundreds more profiles and was not inspired to email any others)...

tmi? :)

life goes on, within you and without you, cha know? :)

another open box

no double entendre or phisical world reference intended, this open box in the title refers to the open box that i am typing words into on the new post page here at blogger and specifically, to the fact that here i am returning to the computer after being away for a bit to find another open box opened at some prior time just waiting for the words that never came at that prior time either due to distraction or falling asleep or something like that (so many something like thats in this life, who remembers?)...

i still keep hoping somebody might, aye? :)

anyway, i was home late from a long day at work where i was catching up on being out of the office on out of town work and most likely nodded off before the fingers started typing because i was distracted by checking email or more likely (since i don't check email much) noticing something on the web somewhere that caught my eye, facebook, perhaps, or youtube or somewhere else... and so, that was then and now, publish post with the same hopeful dream i dream every day (unlike the brain's dream, aye pinky?)...

hopefully someday someone will catch up with me and share it all :)

working in tallahassee

i've got to be awake tomorrow (and it would be best if my brain was as sharp and alert as possible) and yet, here i am wandering the internet pondering whether sarah palin is an irresponsible joke or seriously dangerous and whether a photo of her with a bullseye or crosshairs on her forehead with her own words printed right below the photo (or on a t-shirt she was wearing) would be humor or dangerous (background sounds and
colors), among other less controversial thoughts...

did i mention i won my yahoo survival football group outlasting forty nine other players by choosing the correwct winner eleven weeks in a row?... yeah, baby, i have my priorities straight... and i didn't even have to threaten anybody, not even subtly... some of us are just cool like that...

yawn, even, aye?... and i tossed our xmas tree back into the woods not even knowing i could have entered the xmas tree throwing contest in germany, alas, another opportunity passed... if you are not laughing, you've obviously stumbled into the wrong place and will probably end up offended if you stay too long (and it might be too late for that, but that is your choice and we don't all choose wisely)...

so i enjoyed my day, hope you did too :)

pushing again

another 12+ hour work day, this one about 14 hours and this will be another 70+ hour week, easy... last week crossed a hundred hours of work time, though just 80 or so was at the office... tomorrow i head on a road trip, so it's at least ten hours in the car tomorrow then another overnight, so by the time i get back to my desk thursday it'll be more than 50 and i'll want to catch up on the week come thursday and friday so, easy another 70 working away from home, hopefully not more...

and while i should be asleep, i wanted food (since i didn't stop all day) so i ate and now i'm watching the bcs championship game and wow, auburn has a defensive player who gets away with murder, facemasks, cheap shots, the refs caught one but so many they are missing it's amazing... they seem to have the better team and definitely appear to be better prepared and coached... but cheaters, holding and taking cheap shots on almost every play... and i don't think i've seen one team get away with so much holding... makes it very easy to root against them, even if they weren't in the sec (South East Cheatrhes)... nothing's wrong, but his father is missing... saddest thing is the biggest cheaters are always thanking god the most... i wonder if they still thank god after they get caught... maybe it's the toilet paper...

catching up again

days to catch up on again as i worked an overnight this week and so we'll start with tonight... i woke late this afternoon from a day time nap after sleeping through the night cuz it was catch up on two days without sleep and there was the tv on with the nfl playoffs, so i sat vegetative and watched as the brain was returning to consciousness... eventually i woke a bit more, jackson came home and we ate and watched the games...

as i usually do when sitting in front of the tv, i wandered online, checked facebook where more and more communications come in, checked email where mostly information and junk comes in, and as i was setting the laptop aside to watch the end of the saints-supersonics game when jackson mentioned her new plenty of fish profile so i checked mine for the first time in a few weeks and found a message, so i wrote a response and then, i almost went out to play and watch the second game at a friend's but the game goe interesting so i stayed here...

after the game i went out to pick up some food and returned to watch saturday night live primarily because jim carrey was hosting and while it was ok, it was as is usually the case with snl, not what i remembered because i experienced the magical first year and nothing was quite like that… but that’s the way it is with a lot of things in this world… and still, so many new things are fresh and exciting… and that, as i experience it, is life…

hope you had fun and thoughtful smiles today too :)

zombie laughs

the ones that come from sleep deprivation, this night is full of those and i remember all the drugs i've ever done in my youth and the feeling is similar, only providing that the brain can get higher than any drug can take it...

got home from work around 6pm after leaving around 7am yesterday morning... seriously bleary eyes from staring at the computer screen for many of those hours and yet, feeling good about accomplishing a lot and doing everything i could in the time i had to make the place as safe for the kids and as prepared for the upcoming survey as possible... i can only lead them to the water, i cannot make them drink... you know, the serenity prayer?...

i'm gonna sleep good tonight - hope you do too :)

still at work

yup, i was still at work when this hour crossed the face of the clock as i spent the night at work this night catching up on work that nobody did while i was out for the last seven work days of december... it's not easy having no real backup system at work, but the only back up is the ceo and he doesn't want to do it and being the ceo, can get away with it as there's no real oversight from corporate on him, just on me...

it's sad that they don't take the performance improvement aspect seriously, but i can dance around that most of the time and when i can't, surveyors provide citations that require compliance and eventually, they must (even if it takes a few years of repeat citations)... the scary thing is that they don't take the risk management aspect seriously and that could cost the company big bucks and worse, it could cost someone a serious injury or worse... but that is the nature of private corporations these days, cutting costs and cutting corners and rolling the dice with risks...

so i'll pull a few overnights to cover my ass and to provide them with the documents and information they need to do the right thing and then, wait for the ceo to feel enough pressure either from corporate or a serious incident to force the directors to make the improvements they can make to lower risks...

and you, sleeping well? :)

sleeping even less

yeah, the good news is i am getting to the gym again... the bad news is i am getting there at 3am and sleeping about four or five hours a night as i did for the first twenty or so years of this life... that may be alright for a teenage body, but it's been a while since i was in a teenage body. (and i don't mean that as a double entendre, but if the right teenager comes along and wants to, well, i'll fall asleep laughing at this unintentional thought tonight and you can take it any way you like)...

so i continue to rise and fall, live and die, and enjoy everything as much as i can and once again, i continue to live in hope (cuz there's always hope) of my complete return to actualized physical consciousness and then, look out world (yawn)...

hope you're still having your fun too :)

continuance

yup, that's the way it goes, this life, this writing life, continuing as long as the brain finds words and the fingers can find ways to convey them in language and here we are, on the web at least until telepathy becomes the acceptable way of putting thoughts out there... can you imagine the bulliten boards then? :)

another ridiculously busy workday that distracted me from life and the work that should have been done, so more home work and less sleep... another early wake up and gym session, three in a row, and here i am sweaty and resting and browsing facebook (cuz friends were quite active yesterday) and writing a bit and watching videos (for instance, economics history lesson #1: the rich get richer always ends in revolution, ya see) and letting you know, cuz that's what (e)thereal is all about,l letting you know cuz that's what this life is all about, sharing... i'm doing my part :)

hope your part is fun and filfilling and healthy and stimulating and rewarding for you too :)

maybe again

it was, i believe, this that slithered into my subconscious a few days ago and stimulated some motivation to consider taking the body seriously again (cuz, as i commented at the time, finally a good reason to stand on my head again and although somewhat tongue in cheek {what cheek, who's cheek?... oh, that was cheeky, snarf}, the deeper challenge to actually put this body in that position, whether to relate to someone else in that position like the girl in the photo or to simply be in a body that can do yoga positions again, has nudged me for this second night in a row to put on clothes {ironic, isn't it?} and head over to the gym, that's right, two nights in a row at the gym, narf)...

twelve hour work day and i barely made a dent in the backlog piled up after two weeks on vacation... they dropped many balls while i was out, three big ones, and one of those is still being looked for by those who dropped it... there's just not enough time in the day to catch up and to get the year end/beginning work done... one priject, one ball, piece of paper at a time... all juggled in the air simultaneously :)

hope you are finding the motivation to inspire you to do your best in your body, in your personal life, and at whatever you do for money in this world... and someday, just maybe, we'll communicate :)

and then i imagine

time was when i would (moody blues, look it up) as if the dozen or so entries of burped up on the web last night (hey vinnie, he said burped) were avidly read and treasured by devoted friends and adoring fans and then, i wake up and look around and see nothing in the comments or email or anywhere even remotely related to the writings and i realized i only imagined it... sigh and all :)

home after a long day at work, ready to nod off... laterz (if you ever get here and let me know, that is :)

aging is a choice

at least in large part, that is... sure, the body deteriorates naturally as the cell regeneration diminishes slightly with each passing year, even further decreasing in rate of regeneration with each passing decade, but there is also the choice of diet and exercise and other factors that contribute to the aging process over which we have a lot of control... and what brings this thought on, no one asks...

nodding off as i was watching the game last night and instead of waking and staying up half the night, i dragged myself into bed and instead of laying there thinking about whatever, i fell asleep and waking after four semi-deep hours of sleep, instead of laying there thinking about whatever, i stretched and went to the gym for an hour and wake up wake up you sleepyhead get up get up get out of bed and burn all that chicken fat la la la you know?...

well, whether you know or not or are even out there, i am reminded of the fact expressed in the first paragraph and just because i am not in love with someone in love with me and sharing life and living for that love does not mean i should die (even if i am so lonesome i could even if they don't know it was the end of the world la la la, oh, if wishes were horses i'd get on and ride and all that, but alas, here i am alone again, naturally)...

nyuk...

ever notice how nyuk is new york united kingdom?... wonder if curly ever made that connection... we'll dissect narf another time... and so, as the sun slowly creeps across the other side of the world, i sort of redidicate myself to actually attempting life a bit more from this moment on... we shall see how much that means, or at least i will... you'll see if and when you get here... hope you are smiling and choosing life, wherever you are :)

naked yoga, atheists, and old memories

yes, browsing the web may be the perfect way for me to pass the time when i am alone because there is so much to explore and i can change the channel any time so i must have viewed a thousand web pages tonight (many of them photos on facebook as i found some childhood friends there) and this is one reason i haven't read a book in a year or so, so much to read on the web - like being in a library with an almost infinite array of magazines and short stories in words and pictures... and let's not forget the music...

college football filled the day and the internet filled the night and i must sleep as i have one day left before the working world starts eating my brain again... it's been a wonderful vacation for my brain, wish you could have been here :)

hope your brain and the rest of you enjoys your life too :)

the calendar renews again

another year on the julien calendar passes and the primary parties were college football based at home with jackson and pollack (as others came up sick and stayed home to nurse themselves) before midnight and a card party at harpo's place that lasted until well after sunrise after midnight... welcome to another new year, hope yours started out with as much fun and friendship and love as mine, or more, even :)