yeah, wanna be

as melissa etheridge sings i wanna be in love i smile gleefully at the irony of the attention i (and many people, from my experience) seek these days (and throughout life)... it is so easy to settle for less than being the one, no wonder why so few truly find each other...

hey, this is e-the-real, after all (nyuk nyuk narf :)

so anyway, after an approximately 4 hour nap it is time to head out to softball again... the all night saturday nights must endnow as the regular season starts next sunday... alas, fun (comes in many forms and to enjoy (and perform) to it's max, i must prioritize... and yes, the same goes for love (and everything, but just look at this connection, will ya lol... thanks melissa)... i love these kind of smiling ah-ha's :)

make today your best day ever... and choose what you want, not what is easy... cuz easy is illusion that leads to delusion and what you want is the only way to true peace and happiness... cha cha cha :)

sleepiness, hungriness, bureaucratic mess

yes, so i groggily zombied my way through softball practice and once again, not enough hitting practice because the team needs fielding practice and the coaches talk too much talking up a third of the practice time with speeches and waiting around... the team still needs a lot of work to be competitive in the new division, but hopefully they'll get their act together at the higher level of play so we are not wiped out of every game...

and while i could fall asleep without eating and probably should, the leftover italian food is calling my name so it is in the oven and i'll eat and then pass out and then wake for the afternoon game...

and the post office will not forward my mail... that is, they had no forward mail forms in the post office and they had this card that said do it online, it's fast easy convenient, all the right buzz words... well, it wasn't and it didn't work... they want a credit card with the address on it and i don't have one cuz al my credit cards have my po box address on them cuz i don't want to have to change their addresses anytime i move and more, i don't want my bills going to an aprtment mailbox because they are not secure... so the change of address has still not happened almost a month after the move cuz i don't get to the post office when it is open... there isn't much mail, if any, going to the apartment address, but still, the post office should not make it so challenging to change an address... bureucrasies...

we are having fun, right? :)

all night long, again

dinner party until nearly midnight and then another party that i am just getting home from and in an hour i must head out to softball practice so maybe i'll just get dressed for softball, drive over to the field, and take a nap and let the team wake me...

good idea, sherlock :)

much fun and good food tonight... must continue enjoying life like this, but must squeeze more naps in too... like this afternoon after practice and before the game... cuz this week is gonna be a very busy one with ahca and state surveyors in the house... and what about you? :)

well, it worked but...

the blog through ms word process needs tweaking as the default formatting in word adds too much space between paragraphs and it removes the formatting i chose to build into the blogger system... and that warning about sending the information each time is disturbing... so, cut and paste from word shall remain the way to go...

for now :)

testing word

testing… ok, so I am playing with MS word and seeing if I can post a blog entry straight from MS Word… I don't know if that is less secure, so if all of the blogs I've ever written anywhere suddenly disappear and I die, oh well, live and learn… i'll stop crying some time, maybe in another life, but anyway…

let's see if this works…

fell asleep

once again i let myself fall asleep before craig, oddly just before craig was to come on as i recall seeing the midnight simpsons, which i recall as rather odd, but i do not remember why... was homer hallucinating or was i... ...

in any case, i woke early on my own, but slept nine hours or so, so i am almost refreshed... just a little sugar-chocolate-milk hangover, which is appropriate, i suppose, since the last thought and first thoughts on my mind were the simpsons...

they love each other, you know?...

home alone

so if i've fallen and i can't get up, would i die?... would i want a life alert thing or should i carry a cellphone everywhere i go with 911 in easy speeddial... i should learn how to use speeddial on my phone i suppose... all that from a commerical on tv and living alone... jackson will move in in may, so hopefully it won't happen before then...

i wonder if anyone else laughs at paragraphs like the one above this one... i can't be the only one who finds my sense of humor funny... that would leave me very lonely... hmmmm, could be then, aye?...

so i worked until sevenish and drove home and pondered dinner and have no desire to cook and could not find cans of food and did not feel like unpacking and so i drove over to giavanni's and yum yum yummy yum yum... excellent eggplant rollatinni... good chocolate cake, but expensive...

and watching criminal minds, eh, sometimes ok... too much moral postering in most crime shows... in most human endeavors, at that... anyway, another freezing night so i am putting off the bug spray which is putting off the unpacking which is putting off the moving in and cooking and such which is putting off the eating better and exercise and falling in love and wowie kazowie and... ummm, yeah, another freezing night...

hope you're having as much fun as i am :)

closing in on sleep

realized i had to wash clothes to wear for aoftball tomorrow cuz it's supposed to be in the 30's (near zero celcius), so i am watching for the washer to be done so i can throw the clothes in the dryer before passing out... and there's craig... i haven't emailed or twitters craigferg yet, but it is possible he will inspire me to imagine communicating with him like i used to imagine communicating with celebrities years ago... i used to write to stevi nicks, for instance...

anyway, i must sleep... so how are you? :)

starting?

maybe it was the disappointing idol shows the past two nights or maybe it was the killer whale living up to it's name or maybe it was just random impulse, but i found myself at the gym within the past hour and while it proved how pathetic i've let this body become compared to the condition this body has been in in this life, the good news is i did run on the treadmill and use the elliptical...

there's always hope...

poor reception

yes, getting home late and all over the radio and tv and web is this video of a whale floating in a tank and just like a car accident, everybody has to watch the whale floating in the tank because it killed somebody today... humans have such morbid fascination with death and tragedy and other people's misery...

anyway, i'm home and glancing up at american idol and wondering if the talent that seemed to be there in the early tryout shows actually was more than a few lines of accapella singing... the girls disappointed yesterday... the boys are up tonight...

tv reception, yeah, poor tonight... you having fun? :)

shoulda, coulda, woulda

yeah, slept good last night (not great, but good) and skipped dinner and felt the bloat go away and got home today after an almost two day fast and wasn't really hungry but boom, i eat anyway and suddely i'm hungry ,i>after,/i> i eat dinner... emotional hunger is ridiculous, but i ate some smart start cereal and chocolate milk (fat free) for dessert and once again, feel the bloat...

i did write a bit and downloaded some of the blogs as an xml file (with no formatting) and am looking for a way to actually download the blogs as whole blogs... and att just sent me an email telling me they are discontinuing their web site service so i must find a way to download all of the pages over there in the next few weeks or they'll go pooof, all gone, like the disney sites did... the words are worth saving, after all, cuz someday...

anyway, shoulda skipped dinner tonight and reinforced the fast, maybe some grapefruit and a yogurt... coulda gotten back on the lighter eating lighter body track... woulda been a good thing instead of just a good idea... yea yeah yeah yeahhhhh (thank you beatles :)

so how was your night? :)

home late as usual

not being in a relationship has turned me into a workaholic, or something like that... there's too much to do at home and i love the writing and music and video and fun and games away from work, alone or with friends, too much for that to be completely true, but being in love would give me the incentive to leave work at a reasonable time each day... so i will put that on the list of things to do this year...

feel free to pass it along to the one...

meanwhile, time to each and relax and consider doing some laundry or unpacking (not tonight, thanks) and falling asleep in front of the tv (if sleep will come, after all, sleeping twelve hours last night would usually mean i won't be sleepy for days, or at least 24 hours...

hope you have fun too :)

wow, sleep

twelve hours worth, no less... not straight through though, but nonetheless the wonderful feeling ofrolling over and continuing was, well, wonderful... and i could have slept more, but the body needed to move and be upright a bit as the back and torso muscles said so...

and then i watched the episode of caprica that i dounloaded yesterday or the day before or whenever and that inspired a blog entry elsewhere (have you found the new blogs?... it was a semi-complaint entry, in case you have time and interest to really explore my literary mind)... and i feel good cuz i did not eat before going straight to bed after work yesterday (cuz the only way to get twelve hours sleep monday through friday is to go to bed immediately upon getting in from work and even then, most days i won't have twelve hours and that work-pattern has been going on for a year and really ought to be adjusted too)...

anyway, i can take a leisurely shower and get into work early and perhaps leave a bit earlier than usual today... sweet, if it "works" (get it, work, works, ah yes, if you didn't get it i am mocking that, but anyway, wish you were here... well, the one, that is...

so how was your night? :)

happy birthday nic

go to work

no time for an entry, but at least i woke and showered and am on time for the new work week today... not that i have a fixed time, but i try to get in around nine-ish just cuz so many others have this fixed time and they leave me messages catching up on the weekend and anyway, no time for an entry...

but time to wish you a wonderful week :)

find the bed

yeah, find the bed... feeling so tired and somewhat bloated and foolish too, but hedonism is still so much fun... could use a change this week... shhhh, planting seeds in the subconscious should not be done out loud in public, so disregard this thought...

what thought?

:)

happy birthday sandy

sleep waits for laundry, food, and me

yes, a wonderful night in spite of a horrible game played by just about everyone on the team, especially me... i pitched fine, but could not find the ball anywhere when it was hit near me... more errors than cleanly fielded balls is so not my usual game... and it could have been the lights, as others had light issues too... very bright and very low... luck of the draw that the other team hit the ball weakly into the lights... and it could have been fatigure for i slept less than eight hours total in the past few nights, at most... and it could have been focus as i did not eat today (forgot) and did not stop for a protein drink or any drink and pitched a heck of a lot in the morning... and it could have been distraction being bummed cuz i did not intend to pitch but last minute put myself in the lineup cuz people did not show up or worse, because jackson was rear-ended on the way to the field and while she seemed ok, her car needs much work... and it was definitely because only a few of us were actually hitting the ball and a few of us were out of position and a few of us who haven't been showing up were obviously very rusty, but that's no excuse for my poor play... alas, the game was tough, but i still enjoyed it and the night was too much fun anyway...

the party was hysterical... serious uncontrolled laughter... hours of serious breath-gasping laughter... wonderfulness... and now, the laundry goes into the dryer and a pizza goes into the oven and i decidebetween tv shows to watch while i tap the keys here, there, and wherever the muses take me...

nothing in email to influce the ride, so after eating, write until i nod... though there is an episode of caprica just downloaded to watch... it could watch and i would enjoy waiting untilt he end of the season to watch them all in one sitting cuz the serial shows drive me crazy with their slow moving story lines and soap opera additives that are usually so unnecessary, but impulse to want to see more of the story might have me watching tonight... after legend of the seeker and cold case and a bit more babbling, perhaps...

hope your day and evening and night and overnight is as full and wonderful as mine, if not more so... and enjoy every moment as you make the most of each one... that is the way to be satisfied with life :)

nap and go

that's all i do most days, nap and go, even overnight... there are simply not enough hours in the day to do all the things i want to do... the lack of sleep may cut years off this life and yet, would i be happier with a hundred years of dissatisfaction, partial living, and settling for less than i can be and do and share and experience or would i be happier living fifty years satisfied that i did my best to do and experience and be all i can do and experience and be as fully as possible...

rhetorical question, for the obvious answer is, well... obvious :)

off to party, softball, then more party and then, some stuff around the house cuz it is how i will enjoy this day most... who's ready, willing, and able to keep up with me?... everyone seems to afraid of death and being to even try... so i'll go it alone, la la la, and enjoy this day most...

hope you find your way to doing the same :)

i'll just keep on

that is, i'll just keep on doing this, stopping in every moment i can when i stop in home to keep in touch cuz i want to stay this connected to somebody even if nobody is that somebody at the moment (all i can do is my part, to prove i can, to stay in practice, and that makes sense to me)...

home from morning softball practice with the former flex, now the rockstarz if the new uniforms ever come in... but then, due to funding issues (nobody has the money) we are not getting new pants or new colors and not getting two different new shirts, just one, the old fashion, white (so it'll be see through when it gets wet so i'll be baking in the heat cuz i'll be wearing a t-shirt under it most days cuz it's the spandez stuff that is not absorbant, but anyway, i paid for two new shirts and pants, so i told the coaches just to keep the money for monthly dues for the next six months)... we stay red and white... and so it goes... i pitched to everyone and we had to rush at the end so i didn't get to hit right again... i really need to find a way to get more batting practice other than the cages... and my left wrist is still not right, hurting more than it should after all the rest, but it probably needs six months of no hitting and no stress and it won't be getting that this year so... home from former flex maybe rockstarz practice...

i will try to nap for 2 hours now cuz i only got 2 hours sleep last night and i have a birthday party to go to in two hours and if i nap for two hours, take a quick shower, and head over to the party i can stay a couple of hours and then head over to my 6:30 game with the ubc team... then i'll think about head back over to the party (which is downtown)... the only major drawback of the new apartment is the location, it takes at least an extra 15 minutes to get everywhere, longer at high traffic times... so my fifteen to twenty minute sprints to softball and downtown and wherever are not fifteen to forty minutes longer, sometimes worse than that... alas, no place is perfect...

and i am rambling on way too much (the adrenaline from practice) so hush me and put the big green chair back and nod off now... yeah, that's the ticket :)

hope your day is starting off great :)

anybody here?

yeah, i know, it's a hopefulness based on hope alone as i check to see if anybody stopped by any of my online spaces almost every time i return home, especially since starting this e-the-real blog where i stop in for brief updates and the waving the waterboys sang of all those years ago...

another game party with some of the funnest people in orlando and even though i was nodding off and so ready to sleep before i left, a little caffeine and sugar and i was playing and here we are, ten hours later, groggy but more awake than i was... friends and fun and the night...

maybe i'll get two hours sleep before morning practice and somehow i'll get some pants washed (or maybe i'll just stop and buy another pair of pants) for work this week, but after practice i'm hoping i don't stink too much so i can nap somewhere downtown before the party and the afternoon game so i might rejoin the party after the game (hoping i still don't stink too much) and somehow squeeze in getting the pants washed or bought and getting some sleep before starting another work week...

it's not like this is any sort of revelation (speaking of redundant thoughts), but there really are not enough hours in a day on this planet... i need to find a planet with 42 hour days, that is the answer, ya see :)

hope you are enjoying your sleep and your day is even more fun when you wake :)

happy birthday nic

soooo sleepy

but no nap cuz i'm heading out to a party... and tomorrow morning gotta be at the fields at 7:30 am and it's not as close as it used to be since i moved, so i'll be up around 6:30... let no time for the laundry, dangit... that's what i get for being an internet browser for a few hours today :)

found a ton of fun on facebook though, and videos on youtube for the pop video blog... real people can be so much more entertaining than tv... and so, i hope you continue enjoying your night as i'm heading out to enjoy mine :)

browsing, relaxing

though i should be unpacking, aye?... i found a few more videos to pop into my random pop video blog (and as usual, i slip them in between other entries cuz it's more random that way :)

i will get some arranging of space done today before the party tonight cuz i have no time tomorrow, a softball practice, a party, a game, then back to the party, probably... try to sleep tonight though, aye? :)

i think i dreamed that jackson stopped by this morning while i was sleeping and, but i wasn't sure if it was a dream or if it really happened... the weird thing is i found the front door open when i woke up... seriously spooky, aye?... well, a little :)

make today fun :)

when people trust

yeah, when people trust the world is a much more beautiful, profound, meaningful, and amazing place... when people trust each other it is exponentially better... it is not always easy to trust because it is like a chemical reaction (and is within the body and mind)... when someone mistrusts it creates a negative energy that others do not trust and so on and so on, more mistrust, more negative energy, more defenses, walls, divisions between people... and the negative energy becomes fear and worse... so for one to trust, they must risk a lot, maybe everything...

but one by one, someone who trusts can help another trust and the fear, the defensiveness, the negative energy reduces and fear reduces and makes room for caring and the positive energy of trust...

imagine if everyone trusted...

stretching the time

to get the extra few minutes of sleep each morning, hitting snooze a few times, and squeezing in a shower, and rushing through a grapefruit juice breakfast, but it's better than no shower and no breakfast, aye?...

and a moment to stop by here to wish us all, you especially, a wonderful day :)

what madness, again

yes, the rhymes flow in messages and more... and still still alone yet still full of hope and still, still awake (i'm such a dope :)

life's amazing... you don't know what you are missing :)

but hopefully it's not much :)

what did i say?

something about sleep?... i really truly nodded off way back when i wrote the previous entry and then... bones... and then... the mentalist... and then... csi (i think)... and then... news, letterman, extra... and now... why craig of course... but it wasn't the tv that kept me away, no, it was toronto... yes toronto, or at least a nearby burb... and now wavey rancheros zooms across the tv and i'm awake and writing and writing and writing some more...

ok, it wasn't all toronto's fault... i wrote other places too... for me, for rhymes, and even on a few reviews of the new apartment on some apartment review site (sanctamonious whining needed a response)... the words start flowing and the brain wakes up...

what did i say?... what can i say... it's just the way it is...

hope you enjoyed your night too :)

sleepy head

went to lunch with a friend from elementary school, yes, like first grade... he chose mexican and i hadn;t had mexican in some time, so we ate at the one across from ucf, el cirro, i think... good to catch up on several decades in one hour... he's married with three kids like most everybody else... i have lead a rather different life... no compromise can be lonely, but then, i couldn't be happy with anyone but the one...

ah, memories flood back as i sat accross from someone i sat two rows behind in first grade, aye? :)

stopped at giovanni's for two slices of pizza for dinner, and a yummy cookie from publix for dessert, and now, instead of washing more clothes, i will sit here and pass out watching thursday night fox shows cuz i just found out that there is no game tonight, suprise, i could have done something else, but instead, rest and sleep?... could it be?... well, it almost happened last night but didn't, so we shall see, aye :)

nite nite :)

yeah, right, sleep

i forgot again and so, off with my head... or at least, off to the bed... five hours if i am fast about it... ok, four and a half if i want a shower and i do want a shower... this new fangled cleanliness habit is catching on (narf :)

enjoy life :)

time travels

or perhaps we travel through time... but what if we had it bckwards... what if we remain in the same moment and time itself moves along changing everything physical with each micro-moment so that an infinite amount of matter occupies the same space as time moves along and and only our egocentric perspective leads us to believe we are moving through this thing called time... in any case, part three of the martian chronicles inspired that thought as i try to remember the book because the 50's-60's movie version surely did not do the story justice... humans have such limited imaginations, after all...

anyway, here i am, home, eating, relaxing already... i should do another load of laundry and fluff up the shirts i washed last night since i didn't have then and yet, hang the shirts... otherwise, relax and maybe even fall asleep early... right after american idol, perhaps... hope you find time to relax too :)

thought i was sleepy

no really, i was all set to go to be around 11:30 or so, nodded off and everything, but somehow i find myself here hours later... i shamelessly got caught up in watching the god warrior on the youtube... ever see the trading spouses tv show?... it's sick in a pathetically amusing way if you don't take it seriously (it would be scary then, actually child abusive reality tv like so many reality shows about family would be if many millions of dollars in television revenue was not involved, but that's beside the point) and then watch craigyferg (yes, and then, i twittered)...

what?... you want links?... you oughta know where to find them by now... if not, like i mean, if you are new to this ethereal blog and don't send me secret messages by telepathy or email or something, then say hello and i'll point you in the right direction... or at least in the direction i am pointing... and now, with the hope of getting four hours sleep, it's time for bed...

or a shower first... nite nite :)

so instead of unpacking...

i went shopping for food, but i stopped myself from buying clothes... well, i went to a supermarket, so i didn't exactly stop myself... but i did start laundry while i write this so maybe i am moving in a little, aye?...

another long day closes with nodding in from ot the tv... eventually :)

sleepy

so bed?... yes, bed...

nite nite :)

should have slept

watched caprica instead... typical human stupidity spoiling a potentially good sci-fi story, but i'll give it a shot anyway if only for the b-grade eye candy and hope that some sort of enlightened thought might appear somehow somewhere between the lines...

meanwhile, sleep cries out for attention, so i shall give it some...

after a shower :}

and home again

searching through boxes for some cookware so i can cook some food cuz i didn't stop for take out today for the first time since i moved in... shoulda stopped :)

but with a bit of searching and some preparing, yummy broiled flouder with spinach and cheesy mashed potatoes filled the belly and now, home from softball where i went after work (we won 12-2 so the sunday ubc team is 3-1 and that first game where we were so rusty could have been won, so i can only guess we are not meeting any of the good teams in the league yet cuz we are winning easy) and now, relax with the sunday cartoons and eat and pass out...

that's the plan :)

hope you enjoyed your weekend too :)

another work day

taking monday off to move and tuesday off to recover from the weekend of packing, cleaning, moving, and assorted parties, and working at home wednesday allowed me to breath a bit and get my work done on time for the quality council (monthly meeting where we review everything going on, most of which i summarize in my reports) this tuesday, but still not enough time to unpack and do laundry and actually move in here and this weekend being on call did not allow for the time to unpack or do laundry so maybe this week in the evenings or maybe next weekend...

for now, off to work again cuz the kids just keep coming...

relaxing, writing, tv

yes, i skipped seeing heart at universal studios and going to nude night (a nude art festival) and stayed in to nap and write and watch tv... torn between the second harry potter movie and city of angels, so i flipped back and forth while reading and writing... unfortunately, the tv editing ruined both films for me, so i am happy i was doing something else and not just watching the mutilated movies... but as i am on call this weekend and had to head in for half the day today and probably will have to head in tomorrow as well and i stayed out late last night and have softball tomorrow and must get some laundry and unpacking done, staying in was the wise move...

meanwhile, somewhere else, the winter olympics, aye? :)

waking on my own

a very good sign of life is waking on my own refreshed enough to not fall right back to sleep, which is where i am at this moment... syeamy hot shower last night probably helped, so mental note to shower steamy hot before bed more often instead of just in the morning... i used to shower twice a day as a routine and the hot-as-the-body-could-stand water was cathartically therapeutic and how i've gotten into the lazy habit of not using that physical stimulus is foolishly suicidal on most every level, so consider this a reminder, aye?...

i'll nap later :)

home again yeah

fun game night with the raunchy bunch who play with double entendres and all sorts of adult humours and then some music trivia that i love and then the special attack uno that a friend invented by combining uno decks and games and not to much in the way of snacks (i brought fruit this time, yummy pineapple) cuz i stuffed myself for dinner before i left again and have been stuffing myself too much a lot lately and that is a change that seriously really ought to be coming really seriously really very soon (seriously) and so, much fun and funny friends, and dun games, and fun good night...

hope you had much fun too :)

long day into night

the lack of actual productivity at work is astounding now that i have another perspective after working from home one day this week... and taking a nap would be so good right now, but instead i'm off to a game night...

see ya later :)

wowness

so bloated i can barely breathe, no less sit up and type... i recall turning the channel to craig and then, poof, an hour and a half disappeared and i woke to an infomercial... amazing, this time space continuum thing... crawling to bed now, yeah...

nite nite :)

work is so weird

i got so much more done staying home yesterday than i did at work today it is simply ridiculous... tomorrow i am going to close my door, turn on music, and pretend i am home... then i'll get some work done...

we won again tonight, so we are 3-1-1 for the season... that collapse in week two in the first game of the double header was the tie and we never recovered losing the second game... we have an outfielder who catches one out of five balls that hit his glove, if we are lucky... we took a 9-3 lead and hung on to win 9-7 or 9-8... we've got to get more consistent to win a championship in that league, but at least we are holding our own and beating the weaker teams, if just barely... fun fun fun...

stopped for a meatball parm syb at my favorite italian restaurant... the subs are way too small for the price, so the restaurant is not perfect and i'll stick to the dinners and calzones and other things there... yummy...

lonely tonight, alas, life is almost perfect :)

hope yours is even better :)

just kit

kit, as in keeping in touch, which was the point from the very start some twelve or thirteen years ago when the web was young and i was, well, younger than i am now... for some, a foolish waste of time, but then, silly judgements like what is or isn't a waste of time are a waste of time, after all, so laugh and the clowns wonder why...

back to a work day routine, up earlier than usual with more than six hours sleep, which is wonderfu, maybe seven even, and onward to the day... i hope your day is as beautiful as mine (hopefulness, ya know :)

chow bella, or some such cheery greet :)

day two, yeah :)

ok, start again (for the umpteenth time) and this time, remember open the document file and ALWAYS write into the document file and NEVER directly into any website and use the cut and paste method so from now on there will always be a copy of what I write in the document file on the computer and NEXT, start backing up files regularly again… so there :)

listening to adam lambert from the American idol season 8 and amazed that he did not win… sad to think it was prejudice… chris was just another ordinary singer guitar player… adam has an amazing instrument for a voice… the best singer and the best performer definitely did not win the competition and actually, the girl had a better voice and will be a better performer than chris as well… the sad thing is the ordinary white bread beat out the real talent… the best art is seldom ordinary…

started the above this morning, then connected the work laptop and stayed connected to work all day... caught up and already there are three entries that did not follow the first paragraph, but ok, at least I remembered my intention before the day was out… and so, worked most of the day, though from home, and got some important work done… the att aircard is much better from this location, but it’s still sluggish getting behind the firewall on the secure work server… the great news for home is that with the mybook connected, I have a ton of music I forgot I had… though a lot of the songs are duplicated, triplicated, quadruplitacted, and then some, at least in the windows media player library… that is annoying, so I will look for a better way to catalog and access the music out there…

and then delicious leftover Italian again and chocolate snacks cuz, after all, I am celebrating a new home… start dropping the weight next week, ok :)

love my new place :)

actually getting things done

though the aircard is very slow for connecting to the work servers, i am still getting some important reports done and while i am getting the usual no feedback from the top (probably cuz he's not happy with me not coming in cuz that means he actually has to get involved in reviewing reports), i'm ahead of the game and just might find time to clear my desk before the end of next week... the test will be whether i get flack tomorrow... there's no legitimate professional reason for it, but that doesn't mean anything...

yeah, except for an unappreciative, paranoid, control freak, scapegoating boss, i love my job :)

ok, awake and ready for work

well, first i'll turn the music on and stretch and (did the thought of exercise pass through my head?...

looking...

looking...

looking...

searching...

searching harder...

ummmm, well, maybe almonst :)

anyway, the body definitely needs the rest after the move, strains everywhere, so sit back, relax, and get to work... with music :)

back to bed

yes, that's right, i am going back to bed and working from home today... the nature of my job needs me to get in there and read reports and observe stuff every day (stuff being the care and services of kid and the various processes that keep a hospital running), but it is gonna be sweet to take a break and work from home today...

after a brief extra nap :)

another fun night

A Fish Called Wanda was fun in a theatre, though i got a sense of PC (as in uptight snooty political correctness) at some points... people can get way too serious about entertainment and comedy, really... but i had fun even without sex...

i met five people i knew there so there were some people to talk to and i caught up with a friend i haven't seen in a few weeks (he's got a semi-stalker who does not seem to be accepting that the relationship of a few weeks never really worked and she keeps texting him day after day, even at the movie... once again i am reminded why i am not all that interested in human relationships these days, i mean, beyond friends... some humans can be friends, but emotional stability for a deeper intimacy is rare... alas, alone again, naturally... nyuk and all)...

meanwhile, craig has started tweeting... look out internet, the master of one line irreverence and is finally gonna be in his element... his head might explode... or the twitter servers... they were overloaded during the craig show tonight... coincidence?... ah, the genius maybe someday be discovered by the masses, but can they handle him?... he'd like that, though his wife might have issues with, well, nevermind... time will tell, acha know...

any day now, that change just might come, aye? :)

narf and all :)

dinner was outstanding again

giovanni's is less than a mile away and is my favorite new italian restaurant and why of why didn't i discover it until now (cuz it doesn't deliver and it's tucked away in a shopping center on a route i rarely travelled?... ummm, yup :)

and a friend from elementary school time said hello on facebook and we talked on the phone and will get together for lunch next weel... the internet is a small world after all...

time for a shower and heading out to see A Fish Called Wanda... hope your day was as relaxing, nostalgic, fun, and delicious as mine :)

never really completely off

from work, that is... i get a call from texas from a risk manager at a sister hospital (the corporation owns and/or operates more than a hundred arounf the country) who needed some help asap cuz a state surveyor was asking for a policy she didn't have... so i logged into work (at least that worked) and sent her my policies and forms and called her and hopefully all went well for her...

meanwhile, back at the loaf around day off, i shall do very little, if any, unplacking today... just need to find some essentials for going to a movie tonight and work for tomorrow and tomorrow night i will find what i need for two more work days and softball thursday and a game night friday and then, saturday i will unpack more seriously...

now, back to extreme loafing :)

5 bars and 50db

so i neglected to mention on more amazing connection i discovered last night after finally getting the packing, cleaning, transfer of keys and legal stuff, settling, dinner, and writing space (laptop, monitor, atc) set up... i connect with my att air card and find 5 bars... yes 5 bars... and a signal to noise ration of -50Db and a signal stregnth of 100%... miracles do happen...

listening to the fray as i return to a blissful nap now :)

good morning good morning, YEAH!

oh yeah, woke on my own just five or six hours later... the chill in the air and the bladder might have helped, but the last thing i remember is david letterman saying something amusing and looking forward to watching drew brees taken superbowl, sandra bullock be adorable, and somebody else do something else, sing, most likely, all in anticipation of welcomeing craig ferguson into my new living space hoping the connections would continue to amaze and delight (space, location, roommate, restaurant, and so on)...

do not recall exactly when i passed out, but i believe this was a six hour very deeply sleeping nap... oh, and the wonders of sleep and rest... the body aches amazingly well... definitely... the physical is suffering from a lack of regular exercise and bloat and that is the promary reason for excessive fatigue, spatial disarry, disorganzization clutter, and poor hitting (softball... yes, i've been in a hitting slump recently... pitching is still ok, though slightly less accuracy is noted... so do some more serious daily exercise, dummy :)

yeah, life is so very verry verrry good to me :)

it is about time

yes, it took almost four hours instead of two due to a miscalculation of the total ammount of stuff i have... george carlin was so right... anyway, after finally finding the components to a happy blogger life (laptop, monitor, tv, converter box, antenna, power strips, remotes, and two new additions now hooked up, mybook harddrive and desk lamp), all of which took more than an hour of searching through almost every box at least twice thanks to rushed packing and way over-tired memory), i am sitting here tapping the keys, catching up on the day, and bubbling over with comfort and excitement (and exhaustion, don;t forget to mention that extreme fatigue turned into exhaustion somewhere along the way... ok, i won't... ever notice how close ok is to oj, or how close pj is to ok?... qwerty keyboard speak, i mean)...

we were somewhere, promise :)

so jackson arrived after i discovered that i do not have access to this gated community get cuz the office staff did not active my key card or put me in the directory yet (you'd think they'd do what they are getting paid to do, like their job, but then, this is the good ol' u.s. of a., after all... yes, the sarcasm drips)... she folled another car in and toured the new place... she's as excited as i am... and we went to dinner to celebrate...

omigosh, just going the street is a resaurant called giovanni's (i think) and they have a sauce i like and serve eggplant parm the way i like it, extra sause and cheese without asking for it)... and their bread is delicious and people are friendly and cannoli, omigosh (again), the cannoli is sweet smooth desert and no doubt, i've got a new favorite restaurant and it's less than a mile from my new home...

life is so very good :)

of locked and bagels, or gates

jackson has never eaten bagels, lox, and cream cheese... some people, especially mid-westerners and southerners and others, have had a deprived childhood (especially from a culinary perspective)... not that this particular boiled baked bread delicacy is the end-all of culinary delights, but there are foods that only new torkers really have tasted in their actual form... pizza, for instance... but thn, new york food snobbery can be debated forever and everyone but the new yorker loses (especially those who think they've won, so continued anyway, nyuk nyuk, oooo, wise guy, aye?)...

meanwhile, i could not get into my new gated community home... the gate card did not work... and i could not find the bar scanner thing that is supposed to go on the outside of my window... wonder how often those peel off... anyway, i'll attempt to not be upset with the office staff tomorrow and rememdy the situation so i am not locked out again... luckly, i followed a car in, which is what jackson will have to do too...

she's on her way and this catch up is almost done (which means almost back to real time, aye?... shhhh, you were here all along and so were these, right?... i mean, ahe? :)

bye bye cypress lakes

yes, it is official, i just turned in the keys to the old apartment and all my stuff is in the new apartment and i am moved... a more costly day than i planned, but i am, at this very moment, driving (text-blogging while driving?... suicidal tendencies?... ok, so i am simulating the moment after the fact, so much for the real time drama, ahe?... ahe?... what happened to aye?... and from a typo, a new sigh is born... meanwhile, back at the simulated dramatization... or dramatized simulation... or whatever)...

driving to the new place, texted jackson who gets off work in about half an hour so she can come over and see it and we must get me some food... then sleep, after theexcitement crashes... so, heading to my new home now... buzzed to the almost max :)

timing, everything, maybe

ok, so i glance up at the clock and ponder the possibility that the movers are not coming because they either did not call to confirm on saturday the way they said they would or because they tried me on saturday and i did not answer for some reason and so, i check my phone to call them and find three messages from them... they've been here and left...

yes, they could not get in the gated community so they left...

they are on their way back now... i put my phone on silent fo the training and forgot to turn the ringer back on and did not feel the vibrations in my pocket and well, here we are, delayed and most likely, more expensive... but we're still moving today, so just keep packing and just keep cleaning and so on...

no maintenance guy yet, which is for the best...

the world has been saved

sarcasm, seriously, as if nobody could do the three parts of orientation that i do... but that is the nature of the place i work, very little teamwork and minimal, if any back-watching and certainly going the extra yard for someone else is the exception to the rule, so i did the training in risk management, performance improvement, cultural sensitivity, and workplace diversity, and now, back to the last of the packing and cleaning while waiting for the inspection and movers...

can it get any more exciting than this? :)

hustle de bustle

showered, headed to the wall with one l (oooo, have i coined a new phrase?... colloquialism, even?... heavens to mergatroid, exit stage right), bought all three items, so a vacuuming we shall go eventually, and then headed to work to fo orientation, and then hook up with the maintenance guy and then, the movers, and then, move... and then sleep?... shhhh, long way to go before that happens again :)

just keep packing, just keep packing

kind of like riding a bicycle... or swimming, even... and so i did, though almost nodded off for a moment or two there and did distract myself with some libbo fantasy), but i am closer than ever and must shower and head out shopping for more bins, range trays, and possible, a vacuum...

but you must want to know these things, right? :)

33 in almost 29 years

night launches of the space shuttle, that is... 33 night launches and the last one is just minutes away and if i knew, i might have driven over to see it live cuz it's just 30 minutes away, less if i speed... 48 degrees for the launch, so it's cold up high... i'll look out my window and catch the flame rising, hopefully there's not too much cloud cover, the whole horizon will light up as if the sun is rising early...

6 minutes from liftoff... and 'round here, i am still packing and cleaning and closer to done (bathroom and kitchen counter scrubbing still to do, some dusting, and the vacuuming i will do in the morning either with my dustbuster {since i found all it's parts} or a cheap vacuum i buy when i pick up the stove burner trays when i head out to work for a couple of hours)... just a few more boxes to pack and the packing is done... the monitor and laptop will be last...

1:45 to liftoff... time to upload this entry and head toward the window... have much fun in your dreams :)

to all ships at sea

and anyone keeping in touch or interested in what's going on in the daily wanderings i loosely call my life... i might have been done by now, but instead, i've dragged my feet for weeks and today included and watched most of the superbowl and so, there's still more packing to do... all night, perhaps, with a deadline of 7am so i can shower and get to work to do orientation training... i should be home by 10am, which will give me an hour or so before the maintenance inspection and another hour or so before the movers get here... it's so exciting to be wondering if i am going to get it all done on time...

the oven is going through it's clean cycle... hopefully it does not set off the seriously sensitive smoke alarm in the middle of the night... i need two large burner trays to replace those cuz i only have small ones, which means i must have used the big new ones somewhere along the way... or gave them away... so a trip out to the store is going to be part of the morning trip to work... by then i should have everything done... and get wrinkly hands, since i must have given away my gloves too...

am i getting tired?... yup... am i getting lonely again?... yup... do i wish someone was here to help, or at least to keep me company?... yup... am i going back to packing and cleaning now?... yup...

lol lam narf :)

and they deserve it

i'm glad the tim tebow commercial controversy did not mar the superbowl (or maybe i just missed it, but i only saw a toned down version in pre-game shows hours before the game) as it was doing in the pre-superbowl news media hype because it seemed so selfish for a college player to use his fame to preach his religion and raise controversy that has nothing to do with sports or the the superbowl taking advantage of the game that is going to pay him well and of the audience of many millions around the world... so much for a team player... so typical of arrogant selfishness... no wonder much of the enlightened world laughs at us so often...

meanwhile, the game was the great entertainment it was supposed to be... the saints deserved the game because they did what they needed to do, let drew brees throuw the ball... i feel bad for reggie bush, i didn't realize they use him so sparingly, but he gets a superbowl ring too... and the saint's coach got his act together in the second half (maybe conservative in the first half was his play cuz if you take the lead on indy too early, manning revs up and once he revs up, he's nearly unstoppable... manning got cold after more than an hour of sitting and he did what farve did, through a late interception (to the same saint defender) that turned the game around...

i like and admiring manning and the colts, but the saints and new orleans (and brees) so needed and deserve this that i have to cheer them and was rooting for them more (though i would have been happy with either team winning as i have not taken rooting for a team personally for years)... now if the country would only care about rebuilding new orleans as much as drew brees does, i'd have more respect for the u.s.a people... it's so easy for us to just look away and enjoy our comforts...

nevermind the social conscience for the moment, yay saints, hug to the colts, and now, back to some serious packing and cleaning... what are you up to? :)

just too much excitement for one person

so i share a bit of it here, just a bit, cuz i don't have time or energy to share too much more cuz i must maintain focus on the immediate space and environment around me so i can complete all the tasks that i want to complete before noon tomorrow and still get a bit of decent sleep...

so with the who playing live on tv, which is a serious treat for a child of the tommy film (except that as with other 60's rockers {like the moody blues who i saw a couple of times in the past couple of years}, age is taking it's toll on the temp and the voices... peter's choice of jacket is interferring with his roundhouse guitar and suggests guitar-synching... turning away from the camera during his solo closeup doesn't help the show either... maybe lip synching too?...

alas, the age dimninishes the impact of the words, the defiance, anger, and desperation just doesn't come through), i ponder the playcalling of new orleans (love the gamble, but when you have reggie bush and drew brees on your team, why does someone else get the ball three times inside the 5 yard line?... to win, brees will have to throw more) and applaud the efficiency of manning and i'll just finish my leftover barbecued pork loin roast (wrapped in bacon, brown sugar, and honey roasted cashews... no vegetarian tonight) with the last of the pasta and garlic cheese breadsticks and sit back to watch the second half while packing a few more boxes...

are you having too much fun too? :)

still more to do

so i'll skip the superbowl party in spite of the lure of a whole lot of great food and fun people and most likely at least a good game, if not a great one... but taking my time to relax as i pack is more important to me and there's still the scrub-a-dub-dub coming as soon as the last box is packed (and i still might have to get another few boxes and have to figure out how to vacuum since i don't have a vacuum at the moment)...

and i do want to pause to watch some of the game, so... pack while watching and hopefully i'll be done before midnight... then i'll figure out the cleaning process... i do have to get to work at 8am for a couple of hours and the inspection is set for 11am and the movers are due between 12 and 2pm, so the clock is ticking (and it would be nice to get a little sleep too :)

superbowl, work, inspections, movers, and 11th hour packing/cleaning... can it get any more exciting? :)

awake again

it does not look like i will make it to the superbowl party tonight... i texted the RockStarz (formerly the Flex... change of sponsor meant changing the name) coach to tell him i would not be at practice this morning... for me, practices do not do much anyway... i show up to support the team, fill in positions sometimes when there are not enough players, occasionally pitch, and mostly sit around watching... not really worth giving up sleep for and getting into uniform and driving across town and yet, support the team rah rah rah, so i rarely miss a practice... what i need to do for myself is spend some time in the gym each day as i've slacked off and it shows big time in my hitting...

right now it is get to work on packing and cleaning (or should i say, packing so the cleaning can start since i haven't actually done any cleaning yet)... and how is your weekend rolling along? :)

moving slower

stuporish, even, as fatigue brings slow motion to the packing and cleaning process and all i want to do is curl up with someone on the couch (but i don't have a couch, ok, anywhere) and fall asleep hearing everything's alright now, everything's fine and somebody loves me and love love love and nite nite :)

maybe i'll skip softball tomorrow...

back to packing

moving (like movies) really should be a shared experience, which is is why i am leaving these words here for you so you can imagine you are (if you are here) or were (if you are here now) part of the experience...

someday i hope to move all of the boxes from storage just north of niagara falls to somewhere near where i live so i can unpack and get all nostalgic and mushy and i so wish someone would share that experience, but that person would have to truly love me or somehow earn much closeness and want to be much close to me cuz the memories in storage go back to the beginning of time as i've known it in this life...

for tonight, we could explore why the harry potter films and world appeal to me so much (as if being an unwanted orphan was not enough), but even more, we can share the packing experience... yeah, so thanks much for stopping by and being here and sharing cuz moving is so much more fun when shared, ya know :)

pause for potter

yes, as if the universe (or certain television programmers) knew i could use a break (though i really shouldn't as there's plenty more to do and i will not sleep tonight until i am much more done and tomorrow morning we have softball practice)... the trouble is, it's gonna take longer than it should due to the dang commercials and i could simply watch it on dvd if i had the dvd player and the video available (i think it's in one of the boxes)...

wait a minute, didn't harry try out two wands before getting his phoebnix feather wand?... i am almost certain that was so... and there is other dialogue missing... sure enough, the original aired for four hours on tv, but this is being squeezed into three hours so there must be huge chuncks and bits edited out everywhere... abc sucks... commerical network tv sucks... corporate america and human greedsucks...

so yeah, i'll hop up during commercials to pack more?... especially since there are so many commericials and abc tv destroyed the story...

i know, you wish you were here too :)

continue continue

no, i did not order little ceasar's pizza, just emphasizing what i must do through the night until i am done... breaking for a moment to eat cuz amidst the backing i decided i would cook spaghetti with shrimp and onions in an enhanced sun dried tomato and roasted red pepper alfredo sauce (less than ten minutes prep and the time to boil spaghetti for cooking time... the shrimp were frozen cooked 100-150, two bags {two pounds} and for the sauce i started with two jars of classico alfredo sauce, one sun dried tomato and one roastted red pepper, added a couple of squirts of tarter sauce, a few tablespoons of ken's valdelia onion salad dressing, a quarter cup of sabrett's onion topping {usually used on hot dogs} and microwaved covered for 2 minutes, stirring, two more minutes, stirring, two more minutes, then add some grated parm-ramono-asiago cheese and let six until the spaghetti was cooked... really yummy sauce that could have only been better if i took the time to reduce it for thickness... i could have added cream cheese though, hmmm, next time :)

i love it when a meal is delicious and it takes longer to eat it to cook it... best of all, just one pot, one collander, a fork, a large spoon, and two microwavable bowls to wash (used a hard cardboard dixie paper plate as a cover)... of course the purist understands the limitations of frozen and pre-prepared sauces and additions, but still, flavor was YAY :)

no extra salt or butter/fat spread and no bread even, though i'll defrost the frozen garlic-cheese breadsticks for next time since i cooked enough for the next two days so with the leftovers already in the fridge, i am done cooking until monday in the new apartment so i can scrub the kitchen and oven and be done...

ate while typing this entry and now, back to packing :)

signed, sealed, delivered, i'm theirs

yes, while i do have 30 days to change my mind, i signed the lease for the new place and gave them all the money to get the keys and take possession of the apartment and i am 98% thrilled and happy...

five things i did not know cuz i was not able to see the apartment are... the microwave is too small, the layout of the apartment gives a smaller feel than other layouts, the patio seems slightly smaller, the air-conditioning units for several apartments are right outside the living room windows (and we're on the first floor), and i think the bedrooms are more directly off the living spaces (less privacy) than the other apartments... not deal breakers, but different than the other places we liked...

a few things we did know that are not ideal, but acceptible, are... the screened patio does not exit to the outside, the kitchen has a single sink, the carpet is more outdoorsy than indoorsy, the bathroom lights don't turn on (a sign of poor maintenance inspections?)

the big YAYs! for me are the rest of the apartment, first floor with a nature walk right off the breezeway, bigger kitchen, bathroom, closets... separate switches for the bathroom lights and the dang annoying loud vent fan (can you tell that was a deal breaker?), flourescent kitchen lighting instead of track lighting (to be able to see in the kitchen, sweet), and everything else...

hopefully jackson will like it when she sees it too (she's not moving in until May, so we can think about changing in the next 30 days)... and now it's time to take this packing gig seriously and then the cleaning deal and then, moving on monday... nobody right here to share the fun and excitement (and chores), but still, the excitement is bubbling over now that i actually signed and have the keys so bouncy bouncy off to pack and clean :)

ok, wake up then

irony, no doubt, for wake up now is what i mean, like ok then, wake up, but whatever, the words play me as much as i play them and the threads just may be explored again one day soon... for now (yes, back to the then that is now), it is time to sign the lease, pay the money, finish packing, and prepare for the move (which is scheduled for monday, two days from right about this moment)... the excitement abounds and is only depressed slightly by the fact that once again, i am not sharing it... still, this will be a fun, however exhausting, weekend... keeping in touch :)

for show (and tell)

not just the show, though that is certainly a bit of the story, as is individuality, but the story of this life that most of what is done by people is done for show… even here in e-the-real, I write real thoughts about real life for show in the hope somebody will care to know what is going on in my life, moment to moment… day after day… week after week… year after year (I know, months too)… cuz I want to care and be cared about moment to moment, etc…

the most real show is showing each other we care about each other… and I’ll be here, or somewhere, when you finally show :)

nose bleeds at work

nosebleed at work today, easily stopped by a plug though... didn't get up from my desk from the time i got in until the 10am meeting and then from after the meeting until at least 4pm, but i did get everything i needed to do done, i think... that doesn't include catching up on the corporate work that is falling way behind or cleaning up and filing the paper load, but the corporate people are in tennessee and their work waits for when we have time and filing, definitely no time for that... finally made arrangements for the move and switching the primary utilities... tomorrow i sign the lease and take the keys...

the nose is telling me it is time for some serious rest and weight loss and rest... lucky i have the built in alarms, aye?... now if i start listening, i'll be lucky and smart...

hope your day went well :)

maybe i don't want to move?

it is too late to not move, but observing my behavior lately, the title might be a likely conclusion... except that i do want to move, i just don't want to move... can i relocate my physical living space without moving?...

now before we get to talking about alternative universes (living on the fringe, aye?), what i mean is i am seriously tired and lazy and do not want to move this body to move the stuff to another space... heck, i'm not even packed, remember?... but i keep forgetting to call for movers and i think it might be challenging to find movers at this late date (on superbowl weekend, no less... forget saturday, maybe monday?)...

i hope i remember to call and see about movers tomorrow... or at least a truck... meanwhile, we came back and won in the last inning with a six run rally, no help from me and my pitching gave them 7 of their 11 runs, but at least some of the other hitters came through... and home and eat and tv and nodding off and thoughts of moving...

brain overload

when the simple function of packing boxes becomes too much figuring out to do and i wander around for ten minutes with an item not quite sure which box to put it in, it must be time to cease and esist this madcap adventure called packing and find somewhere to sleep... ok clothes piled up on the bed, you are moving to the floor... avalanche!...

are we having fun yet? :)

and then the phone rang

precious needed to talk a few minutes and that turned into more than an hour cuz stuff happens and people need to talk about them... dear precious gets herself into some of the most challenging situations sometimes... it was time to catch up... and catch up... and catch up... is it morning yet? :)

love you precious :)

moving reluctance

there appears to be a grand reluctance, powerful forces are at work here, as i packed maybe four boxes, if that many, the entire day off that was taken to pack because i am supposed to be moving on saturday... apparently i will be extending my stay here in this apartment at something like $40 a day just cuz i am procrastinating about packing for this move...

the inspiration to ramble on and reminisce could be a contributing factor, but the procrastination did not start today so the impetus to sit and write only became a conveniently timed reason to continue the procrastination today… yes, everybody blame toronto cuz it’s the popular thing to do (nyuk)…

anyway, for all you silent readers who can’t get enough of the daily life I share here in e-the-real, that is the way it is tonight… moving brings on the lonelies kind strong-like… tune in tomorrow (or later tonight as I’ve given up sleep for lent or something like that) for the next exciting episode of moving reluctance :}

plans are scams

so instead of packing today, i spent the day writing... no tv, no music, no food, no moving, just writing... except for the two hour break to fix something for work when the ceo called needing something... what day off? (ah, the perils of executive life, aye?)... if i start packing now, maybe i'll be closer to finished by morning... work, softball tomorrow... i wonder if one can forget how to sleep...

strange night (semi-re-created)

yes, even stranger now that this entry must be re-created... sort of a little kind of a beautiful mind or more, american beauty (almost) revisted from a gay perspective... and so i headed home from work sort of on time, somewhere after 6pm (what?... another ten-eleven hour day?... yeah, well, somebody save me, aye?) and went to the post office to pick up make and then to sports authority cuz i think i was looking for things to do and a belt and then i started driving toward the movie at the enzian, A Fish Called Wanda cuz i got the message on facebook from one of the movie groups that it was tonight and i had bought tickets and on the way i decided to invite people, but everyone was busy, so i stopped at walgreens for no apparent reason (to see if they had a certain protein powder i was seeking lately) and found cashews and royal dansk wafers on sale, so i munched on those after wandering around until i got the messages from friends that they were busy and then i headed to the theatre and sat outside waiting for the people from the movie group and when nobody had shown up i went in and took a seat and ordered dinner (yes, the enzian is a dinner theater with odd gormet-type foods {wanna be upscale} and often unique films and i renewed my membership and they didn't find the tickets i ordered so they let me in for free) and the crowd was small and predominently gay, which i thought was odd cuz i thought A Fish Called Wanda would attracted a larger audience and the opening credits did not seem like...

and I sat through A Single Man puzzled as to why A Fish Called Wanda was on the marquee and in the email i recieved from the movie group at facebook... the film was somewhat like American Beauty from a gay perspective, only different...

as much as i was feeling like sharing the evening, it was perfectly right for this evening to be experienced alone... and then, i came home and read and wrote and fell asleep and tomorrow, i wake up to a blue screen of death that ate this entry and everything else that was open and unsaved (not much as i save a lot these days) and that seems even more perfectly right given the unplanned evening this was...

and how spontaneously surprising is your life? :)

going to bed

fell asleep in the blue chair and taking the day off to pack and clean, so i am going back to sleep in the bed now...

yay :)

blue screen

tomorrow i will wake up to a blue screen and entries left half completed for today will be gone (so the date stamp is the meaningless random time error i throw back at it), swallowed by the monster in the computer or the internet that consumed thoughts, ideas, memories, and everything that happened yesterday except for what is in my head and what actually happened...

except for what is in my head and what actually happened...

blue screens of death?... doesn't sound as bad now :)

start another week

right, even as sleep screams for more attention and the ear screams for more rest, the clock in my head said wake up so up i waked and shower and off to hi-ho (but first i still make this effort to keep in touch as i promised myself i would many years ago, being me and all that)...

hope your week is fun too :)

sleep a few

still more to do, but maybe i'll sleep a few hours now and pick up where i leave off in the morning... maybe i'll leave work early so i can get some more done... if i can get enough work done to leave early, that is...

gonna be a challenging week for time...

/p>