nap

naps are such sweetness... and except for a doggie who is an insatiable attention sponge and a few phone calls, this nap was wonderful, even if it was cut short... i got more cleaning unpacking and arranging of stuff done, so it's all for the best... though my left knee is crying out for more rest and that bump getting out of jackson's back seat last sunday is hurting more every day... water on the knee just above the cap and all it needs is rest but taking two or three weeks off from the gym and bastekball and softball is the worst thing i can do for weight management so, a quandry...

naps are still sweetness though :)

unpacking, really?

sort of... all i need are two additional rooms to spread out and sort through all the stuff... a more modest apartment home with more interior space would be wiser for me than this shared luxury place with a porch we don't use much, but hey, having a roommie around is much good too, 'specially when she's a beautiful caring friend...

so i must squeeze three rooms worth of stuff into one and a closet, somehow, and like it and i shall, hopefully before i move out... lam :)

if there was only time :)

paying attention much?

yeah, i am laughing at you, deal with it (you don't belong here if you can't so deal)... yes, i have invested some more time in a supposedly free communication weekend at eharmony and have tired of the obstacles and attempts to coherce payments already and the weekend is just beginning... so moving on to other news...

music plays throughout the night...

i finally updated a few of the pages on the main site, particularly the resume (finally) and the more blogs page and some other entry pages that are still available, if only to update the 2010 date and to strike through some of the dead links (thanks to AT&T killing personal web pages)... and i have been up all night again, alas, but productive and enjoying and yay for me, even if the rest of the world will never keep up or understand...

so how you doin? :)

e-harm-ony

the e stands for expensive cuz there's lots of ways to pay and few ways to win like any lottery... ultimately, the site probably works for the average human who does not engage in much critical thinking and who buys into the norms of the culture, but for the non-draditional folk who live on the fringe of conformity (or way outside the crop circles), there is not much there... i mean, they have questions about views on premarital sex and appear to have other very religious-fear-based leanings (they were sued for banning gays from joining and lost in court)... but my biggest disappointment is the way the site "guides" communication because that censors and prevents actual communication (and anyone who does not find that condescending is not for me)...

fall in love in the dark without communicating, sound like the typical human way...

delusions over open eyed open minded sharing of senses...

anybody out there? :)

what is ony?

ony (ˈəʊnɪ)

— determiner
a Scots word for any

determiner

Main Entry: de·ter·min·er
Pronunciation: \-ˈtər-mə-nər\
Function: noun
Date: circa 1530
: one that determines: as a : gene b : a word (as an article, possessive, demonstrative, or quantifier) that makes specific the denotation of a noun phrase

de·no·ta·tion   /ˌdinoʊˈteɪʃən/ Show Spelled[dee-noh-tey-shuhn] Show IPA
–noun
1. the explicit or direct meaning or set of meanings of a word or expression, as distinguished from the ideas or meanings associated with it or suggested by it; the association or set of associations that a word usually elicits for most speakers of a language, as distinguished from those elicited for any individual speaker because of personal experience. Compare connotation.
2. a word that names or signifies something specific: “Wind” is the denotation for air in natural motion. “Poodle” is the denotation for a certain breed of dog.
3. the act or fact of denoting; indication.
4. something that denotes; mark; symbol.
5. Logic .
a. the class of particulars to which a term is applicable.
b. that which is represented by a sign.

so what exactly does ony do to harm?...

har·mo·ny   /ˈhɑrməni/ Show Spelled[hahr-muh-nee] Show IPA
–noun, plural -nies.
1. agreement; accord; harmonious relations.
2. a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity.
3. Music .
a. any simultaneous combination of tones.
b. the simultaneous combination of tones, esp. when blended into chords pleasing to the ear; chordal structure, as distinguished from melody and rhythm.
c. the science of the structure, relations, and practical combination of chords.
4. an arrangement of the contents of the Gospels, either of all four or of the first three, designed to show their parallelism, mutual relations, and differences.
Use harmony in a Sentence
See images of harmony
Search harmony on the Web

-----------------------------

Origin:
1350–1400; ME armonye < MF < L harmonia < Gk harmonía joint, framework, agreement, harmony, akin to hárma chariot, harmós joint, ararískein to join together —Related forms non·har·mo·ny, noun, plural -nies. pre·har·mo·ny, noun —Synonyms 1. concord, unity, peace, amity, friendship. 2. consonance, conformity, correspondence, consistency. See symmetry. 3. Harmony, melody in music suggest a combination of sounds from voices or musical instruments. Harmony is the blending of simultaneous sounds of different pitch or quality, making chords: harmony in part singing; harmony between violins and horns. Melody is the rhythmical combination of successive sounds of various pitch, making up the tune or air: a tuneful melody to accompany cheerful words.

isn't etymology fun? :}

another day drifting by

wonderful, really, though it would be nice to share the time passing with someone who appreciates everything the way i appreciate everything (compatability is such an elusive experience for one of my perspectives), it is still a beautiful experience to relax and breathe :)

mid-afternoon and after a few hours wandering the web, i am ready to roll out of the bedroom and talk happiness for a little run and then, forage for food... the blessings of a day off :)

i hope you are enjoying your day as much :)

time takes time

and so does just about everything else... so i am sitting here eating publix southern style potato salad while waiting for the windows media player to add the mybook music and stuff to the library since it appears to delete it every time i disconnect the mybook which kind of sucks from a time waiting standpoint and so i turn to youtube for amusement and add another video to random pop news...

are we having fun yet? :}

tickin' and tockin'

work play sleep repeat... and time goes by... and interest in recording the details for postewrity wanes of late, more due to fatigue than due to loss of hope or downbeats, but still, the interest wanes... if it mattered to you, that might make a difference as i do find motivation in caring and sharing, but interest in creating you wanes as well...

left work early... stopped for sushi on the way home (bought a lot and almost saved some for jackson but finished it), fell asleep, phone woke me... it was jackson craving sushi... awwww, i'm stuffed, hopefully she'll pick up some sushi of her own and enjoy it as much as i enjoyed mine :)

you?

hey, i said wanes not gone :)

much offline, a little on

a lot to do, day after day, work a lot, but even when not working, play a lot... softball, dinners, tv, play with happiness, cook, clean, laundry, eat, and somehow socialize with a larger group of friends... much less lonely now that jackson lives here, muck less motivation to go out and spend money, so much less seeing large groups... unfortunately, that reduces the relationship/romance possibilities dramatically... so on the deeper dream of falling in love level, much more lonely, i guess...

i just don't seem to feel the ache as much as i used to... and that may just be due to a real reduction in the level of hope i've always counted on to keep my dreams alive... humans have disappointed me so much... sigh... alas... and so on...

and so, me too, in a much deeper sense, i am so much offline, so little on... and the saddest cut of all is that nobody knows... and maybe that means nobody really cares, but that is life... we are all so busy doing what we do that we spend so little time on, truly being ourselves relaxed sharing the depths... and we wonder if anybody cares...

i care...

thousands

over the years i've written in diaries, journals, blogs, and wherever regularly so that just about every day i record thoughts, feelings, perspectives, dreams, fantasies, whatever may be borne of my own mind or just passes through from sensory input... there are more than a few threads, strings of entries (or posts) from different perspectives in my head and more than a few of the writing spaces have more than a thousand entries, this one included... if you ask why, the simple answer is i love word play, literary expression, and keeping in touch with myself and the dream of communicating with others, especially the one... care to read and ask for more and the deeper layers of meaning, reason, and rhyme (and the secrets of the multiverse, even) may appear for you as communication personalizes...

here in the primary public writing space i am skimming the surface most of the time and even those i mention are re-named to respect privacy (for others seems to want much more privacy than i do) and even when i am away from this writing space for a day or few, i am still writing somewhere... writing is for my mind what singing is for my body and spirit, exercise, release, play, connection to the core and flights of fancy to freedom and infinity (and beyond :)

if you have an affinity for the written word (or for singing and/or music), perhaps you understand... you are welcome to read along and encouraged to share your words as well, here, there, or anywhere... communication is one of the primary gifts this life offers and i love giving and receiving... hope you love what you do too :)

fantasy sports

after staying away for two years due to the yawhofarted snafu wherein att swallowed yahoo and somehow corrupted my yahoo password with their transition cuz i had passwords for both (just like so many conglomerations mess up things for the consumer at the user end and their answers is "no problem, just create a new account" which is great for their bottom line as it gives the appears of more users but is the equivolent of saying "no problem, just be another person", further depersonalizing and dehumanizing and destroying the social connections that keep a species from going extinct, but that's beside the point, narf)...

i must study football player stats as i've been away for a few years... i skipped the day out at weikiva (again) but this time it was jackson and browne (jackson's friend who moved away but is visiting this weekend who also created the fantasy football league last night while we were sitting around catching up) who were going with a couple or few others i know through jackson...

and so, i shall relax today, nap since i woke on my own before noon, wander online, listen to music (which has been playing all night, yay) and maybe even get some cleaning sorting and laundry done around here... tonight we are going to the yummy chicago pizza restaurant... hope you are making your weekend much fun too (and a little productive if you like :)

i didn't die

i mean, for all those of you sending condolensces and get well bits ad bytes and all sorts of worries and frets and deep regrets, i still walk the planet on two reasonable healthy feet... the monster bite intches like mad from time to time, in fact, the entire foot itches like mad under the skin, but that's a sign of healing, right?...

it has been four days without a word, after all...

i was in jacksonville wednesday and thursday and did not bring this laptop or the passwords to the accounts, so i did not appear here then as i might now... all the missing of me was much appreciated... listening to portishead, amidst some other ethereal music, and enjoying the night...

hope you find yourself enjoying yourself and everything else too :)

a monster bit my toe

yes, it was a practically invisible monster (cuz i didn't see it in the grass as i stepped on it), but it was a seriously major pain inducing monster... then sharp burning screaming pain was worse than a jellyfish bite and the foot swelled up big time instantly and the head got woozy and if i wasn't still hungry, i'd have giving into jackson's concerns and let her drive me to a doctor...

i feel a bit better now, though still feeling the reaction, but what's worse i didn't get to the gym and i'm driving up to jacksonville on wednesday and have a softball game back here on thursday night... and still more unpleasantry is i had a few hours of work to get done that did not get done and waking at 6am to get it done is not going to be easy at all... sleep now?... yeah, wise if i was...

are you my mother? :}

softball, facebook, food, and tv

that was today... practice 8:30am to noon (went to the batting cages after practice) and then shopping at cavalleri and lunch, yum, then softball game in the afternoon with a novice umpire who took the fun out of the game with bad calls and worse, a lack of knowledge of the rules... and then home for dinner (yum) and relax with tv (cubs game, yay for a win, and late night stuff)... all in all, challenges and all, life is wonderful...

and now, wisdom demands sleep... but only if it didn't demand, aye? lol lam laa :)

hope life was wonderful for you today too :)

fun is fun

even when i end the night alone, fun is fun... even when i feel bloated and silly for diminishing the experience of sensuality in this body, fun is fun... even when i feel stupid, fun is fun...

tonight was fun :)

partly stuffed pasta

that's me, stuffed with pasta... if i was pasta, then i'd be stuffed pasta, but being only partly pasta, i am partly stuffed pasta... or stauffed partly pasta... or stuffed pasta partly...

yes, you've missed yet another wonderful partly...

party too, on garth :)

here and there

working much, trying to get some sleep, hanging with my roommie, and tonight, after work, dinner, softball, the gym, and relaxing a bit, i am craving spaghetti more than sleep, so spaghetti cooks...

and how are you? :)

yesterday and today

not an album title, but simply looking back on the real since the last post... work yesterday was busier than usual and a ton of stuff got done between lots of meetings... after work i met precious to help her buy an iphone - she bought the phone, i bought accessories, not we shall see if it raises my phone bill or if she will pay for the extra $30+ a month tacked on because it is an iphone... we went to dinner after at toojays and yum, i am missing new york deli much more in the last couple of weeks than i have in many years... all the nyc photos i am seeing on facebook, old and new, are influencing that...

sleep and then today, waking at the last minute cuz i forgot there was orientation at work and i am the first two hours of the three day training, but i got there just barely on time and i was in luck because they only had three new trainees so i did not need to make copies of the training materials i hand out... this was followed by more meetings, two big quarterly reports finally completed, dealing with a few delicate omplaint and investigation, some side projects for others, and actually a bit of my own work... home to eat yummy stuffed chicken from cavallari's gourmet and then, the gym... pushing the body, shower, ready for a nap...

but then, browsing facebook, i found photos of a couple of people i that wired my brain and suddenly i was up watching the new episode of warehouse 13 eating whitefish salad (a new york favorite) with crab cream cheese and chocolate milk (with some babagamoush) and buzzing...

and here we are, hours later, smiling :)

hope you find your smile too :)

yup. still awake again

it's not all bullsugar, but the fact is that midnight wakes me up more consistently than anything else... if i am not asleep before midnight, well, here we are... i did get some laundry done so i will have clothes to wear to work this week and to softball on thursday and whatever else...

see, if you actually read this blog you'd know and if you read all the blogs and other madness you'd know more about me than my mother ever did... or just about any other human except for anyone who wanted to get close enough and inspired me to trust them unconditionally beyond the intitial unconditional love i offer... yeah, there's a ot to explore in that one, when you get here, that is (of course then we might actually have to accept each other as real... narf :)

i think i am going to bed now :)

sweet fatigue (but minimal sleepiness)

proving that sleepingness is all in the mind and mine doesn't accept or create much of the stuff (sleepiness, that is), i sit here typing after a physically active day after less than three hours sleep last night... and i must do some laundry...

earlier today, after softball practice, a news media cameraman stopped me and video taped me answering a couple of questions related to what we do to deal with the heat... wonder if i'll be on the tv for a few seconds...

afgter jackson got home, we went shopping and got lost in target (ok, not lost, i started wandering and buying stuff) and after we got home, basketball and the gym... therein, the sweet fatigue... now, laundry and then, sleep (perhaps)...

hope your weekend was full of fun and you make this a great week :)

phew doo dee doo doo

8am softball practice, though it's still a very light practice, especially for me since the coach does the pitching and i hardly get any ground balls (maybe four or five) and then ten swings and then i get stuck playing first base, but the practice is slow and sloppy... everybody gets exhausted from the heat, but not from actually working out or repeatedly practicing their positions...

after practice i went to the batting cages and hit 140 balls, 120 with the 38 ounce bat... serious phew then... i used the torn batting gloves because i didn't want to wear out the new gloves but that might be why i peeled away the pad of the palm just below the middle finger... have to find the blister bandaids, or buy new... on the way home i stopped at the gourmet market and bought enough for ten meals for just over $50... not bad for a gorumet market... and the first taste was excellent...

before eating i put more stuff into storage after re-arranging the storage room, much heavy lifting, so good workout... good food... and just need to pick up some fresh veggies (the gourmet place is too high on veggies) and we have good meals all week, so we'll head out during the world cup pre-game show and get back to watch the game... then later, the gym :)

you may have missed a bit of new news as i am posting more than one entry in a day (three so far... i guess the entry before the new news was a bit premature, aye?), i mean, in case you don't want to miss anything... whatever you want, whatever you are doing, may your day is healthy and yummy and fun too :)

yeah, right

still awake in spite of softball at 7am and still here playing with blogs... partly cuz the big baggy sweatshirt of potential self-pity loneliness just wasn't gonna fit over my head tonight (yay for the big-head)... yeah, right, so i re-arranged all the gadgets and info around on this site and revised all the tv viewing lists on the tv blog (you didn't know i had a tv blog?... where've you been?... snark)... and scribbled a few words in a half dozen other blogs including bullsugar, after, anti, and body talk, among others (just listing some cuz i'm in that sorta mood, ya see)... and no, you won't find the easy to click on links here in this post... i am in my care-if-you-want-to-phase, which comes with a heaping helping of prove-it, so you'll find me if you care enough and you won't if you don't and that is the real tonight... dancing happily to sleep (i hope, cuz there's always hope) soon :)

here, there, or wherever, i hope you happy, healthy, wise, and are having fun too :)

losing interest?

not sure if the question is to you or me or both or everyone or all of the above in different ways... pointing at me alone (mostly), i wrote less in the past week in my blogs than i have in months, i think, but i did add many videos to my video blogs, though those are not vlogs, so they might not count technically as sharing me, even though they do reflect some, i mean, in case you were looking up from your world :}

hopes it's good :)

wandering away

it's after midnight, but yesterday didn't have a post so i am playing with the datestamp just cuz i can (master of time and space, aye?)... right, so it was out to a street fair today, a new one in it's early years called bastille day and it was a bust, but a friend was organizing and another friend asked for company so i went... we enjoyed dinner at a good italian place on primrose and went back and the fair was still dead, but hey, we supported our friend... speaking of supporting friends, i think he still owes me money... so do a lot of others... and why am i still paying for two phone lines others use?... the things i do for love and family... i really ought to keep track, but i don't :)

anyway, back to the fair, we went into a cool music store and pricing vinyl i realized that if every record i have in storage is still in playable (there's always hope) shape i could have a couple of hundred thousand dollars worth of just vinyl alone in storage, at least, which would make the cost of the storage well worth it... i wonder how much the used vinyl goes for online (one day i'll research... and one day i'll bring down the stuff, aye?... yeah, and someday my princess will come, sheesh lam lol laa cha cha cha :)

yeah, so you see the casual cool self-mockery is back (check the bullsugar... or the tweets, as @craigyferg would say... dorky narf)... hope life was fun for you today... you really ought to get in touch, all this silent time is making me wonder if you are still alive... and besides, you matter even more when you are in touch, ya know? :)

wow, time passes

and i slept long and good and deep and sweet last night, so i played softball and basketball and then went to the gym tonight... and should have gone to sleep a few hours ago, but craig ferguson kept me awake along with facebook as i explored invitations i didn't know i had... now i "maybe" going to a dozen parties and fun things in the next month or so... and you could be coming along if you were nearby, but send ethereal love and you're always here :)

i'm sending now :)

yes, i know (elongated o)

i closed my eyes (only for a moment then the moment's gone?... well, sort of {and we grin a silly mostly knowing grin} but more, a sincere {half hearted} intent to fall asleep), but the mind wizzes and waddles and rambleds and rants through oil rigs and imaginary dieties and softball replays and some sort of enlightenment and books i want to read and things i want to do and games i want to play and activities i want to share and people i want to see and stuff i want to know and work that must be done and finding time to run and all the fun of the fair and dead birds blackened on the beach and people who don't practice what they preach and grown men who abuse the kids they teach and stars that remain out of reach and theme parks where i want to play and rides i want to ride all day and stories seeking the time to tell and rhymes i used to know so well...

yea, so i am still awake and i just read that eharmony profile and it is quite so flattering you'd think my very own insatiable ego wrote the dang thing, but all i did was answer their questions, really i did :)

and how are you? :)

shhhh, i should be sleeping

the body is fighting off some sort of bug that pounded my head and sinuses last night and today and then hopped down my back and into my lower intestines and that's about as graphic as this novel is gonna get tonight cuz i somehow must force myself to fall asleep so the white knights (or cells, in this case) can do their usual victory dance and who am i to undermine the good guys cuz after all, they just want to keep me alive, aye?)...

snarf :)

so for further readings, see the previous post and click on, me hearties, click as if your life depended on it... or mine... or perhaps just to chide the boredom (snarky bug, isn't it? :)

seriously, hope you made today precious too :)

no harmony for me

the eharmony report based on the 29 points of my profile is on yet another bloh... oh, did i mean blog?... or perhaps blah? lol lam... anyway, that may be autobiographical and may be something else cuz i have no intention of adding anything to it at the moment except the rest of the eharmony profile if i find time for copying and pasting... i know it belongs in the intros in the bios, but i don't have patience to format a page and configure an ftp program (or download one, for that matter), so it is where it is... meanwhile, they sent me two dozen emails already and there are twenty or so "matches" that i cannot contact after tonight, but without a face or detailed information (twenty words is not enough), there's not going to be any initial contact on my part... so it is a come on, worthless for me... but it was interesting to take their psycho-quiz and see the results... and someday, when my princess, comes, she'll wanna know (and this one time, at band camp... :)

in the slightly more tangible world, i slept inconsistently this weekend cuz happiness is an insatiable attention sponge who is constantly begging and waking from a nap at 11pmish to walk him wakes me up and then i'm up the rest of the night... his schedule is so not nocturnal (whereas mine, well, you know) and trying to stay home and rest was not too effective, so while it was a long happiness filled weekend but i could use a day off :)

hope you had fun too :)

rainy night in orlando

headed out the door to run with happiness and it started raining so happiness had a quick pee and we came back in... he loves the rub down after getting wet and ran around the appartment a lot to get the energy out that we were going to get out by running... and now, it pours... it's a gyp cuz there's no thunder or lightening, just a ton of rain... so i opened the patio door and we're experiencing the rain from semi-indoors...

maybe the rain will stop in time for fireworks tonight...

woke, slept, woke

relaxing day, walked and ran with happiness, ate baked clams, nodded off during really bad sci-fi movies, babbled, and filled out 93% of an eharmony profile cuz it's free this weekend... meanwhile, they only found seven "matches" for me in the entire world and only one lives within 100 miles... they won't allow a free trial to see photos, so it's pretty much a waste of time as i am not approaching anyone on a dating site without seeing their face... if someone contacts me, i'll respond, but i'm not re-locating or looking for a long distance relationship so, it was something to do... i did get an interesting report from all the profile information that i'll put up somewhere for you to read... somewhere like here...

later :)

home run eat nap weeee

that's the most natural flow of experience for this body... to get home from work and get out for a quick run while all the workday stress and tension is still buzzing and then to eat and sit back and let the food put me to sleep and then, wake to that groggy silly sappy stupor that produces 99% of the creativity in this world...

so i just woke all excited about something and the only think i remember is the thought yeah, now i can do it and whatever it was is comepletely gone from my consciousness and it may have had something to do with being online cuz i reached for the keyboard and found myself wondering what i was so excited about...

so i wrote this entry, how was your day? :)

in case you arrive

i'll just keep recording the real as it flows out of my head (and i live it)... tonight happiness is not very happy... he tore up another couch cushion... jackson said he started doing it about a year ago at her place... there must be something about these couches, maybe a scent or something, but he seems to want inside... anyway, he knows he is in the dog house tonight as i will not smile or play with him... he got a short unplayful walk and no extra food, in fact, i cooked a burger which has always been a signal for him to get a burger, but not tonight... he may not understand exactly or everything, but he knows he is not getting the usual love and attention and treats and fun... and the only time i look at him is when i pick up a piece of the couch stuffing and he sees a very serious unfriendly me and he cowers and looks away or walks into his room... he keeps coming out and looking, at the moment, he's sitting around the corner of the couch staring up at me poised for any move that might be attention for him, but he will not get any tonight beyond a kiss on the head before i go to bed... maybe he'll make some instinctive connection next time he is alone with the couches and the scents within call his name...

that's the real for tonight... wish you were here...

wonderful madness

it wasm but i fell asleep in the middle of trying to tell you about it so, next time...

cuz this time, it's all mine :)

aging graciously

not quite gracefully as i stumble a lot because i have broken my stride many times in this life and let the excess fat form and let the muscles lose form and even filled out the wrong form (figuratively) but somewhere inside remains the right formula for forming the format of formidible human form (must have done something right in my formative years) so i might put off the formaldehyde a few more years...

so at just after midnight i sit here cooling down after returning from the gym, another run to nowhere that may or may not extend this life experience, but definitely provides more energy and positivity... the body thoughts blog should provide more detail, but i am hopefully at the start of yet another climb back into the best shape this body can be in at this point in the physical life span...

may you be enjoying (and optimizing) your journey through this life as well :)