and what if we die?

no matter how intelligent a conversation seems, no matter how far out on the fringe or beyond an intellectual exploration goes, the ultimately limit and turn-around for the human race at this point in time is always and what if we die?... sitting and listening to morgan freeman talk about the infinite possibilities of the universe in through the wormhole i am enjoying the wonder of infinite possibilities he just has to ask, but what if a dark matter object was on a collision course with our planet... as if the whole premise just before that, of how entire galaxies clusters can collide and space is so vast that galaxies pass right through without touching each other and yet, the human ego is so stupid and fear of death so profound, the question must come down to, but what if dark matter came to get us... paranoia is the harbor of the small human mind...

so the choco-chip granola bars were not enough and now i reach for pretzels... and the belly expands and adds even more pressure on the spine... being an old man who can't move around well will not be a good thing on the lawn at tomorrow night's concert, ya know?... and it really is pathetic that i am stretching the whining and munching self-indulgence this far just to have something to babble on about just to leave an entry here just to prove i am still here and somehow, still want to share... even as i nonchalantly act naturally and casually appear as though in am relatively ambivalent and quite content alone in this world, long leaving behind the agony of loneliness that used to dominate my writings and not replacing it with the melancholy of depression like is the usual human folly that i tried and found to be lacking in the diversity required by the mind i inhabit... there is something to be said for self-amusement, aye?...

and did i mention the diluted skim milk with a bit of stevia and a packet of nestles hot chocolate mix over ice?... yes, well, there's always the lucy fantasy, and i don't mean ricky ricardo's lucy, nor charlie browns, for that matter... the hfc commercial helped salivation continue, by the way... but then, sports center came on and sure enough the verbal masturbation to lebron continues as if they truly can't get enough of saying his name... nauseatingly repetitive, like a song played too often, no matter how good it is, it sucks to hear it after a while... but i chose not to watch you've got mail and city of angels because i wanted to get some sleep... the mouth did not cooperate... maybe i'm afraid to lay down on the too soft couch and my head isn't falling over enough to fall asleep in the recliner... so jimmy fallon says nick thune is very entertaining... he's got a banter, a style, and doing pot jokes (throw back) mixed with my wife hates me jokes, but the beard is out of place with his staccato... he didn't tie it up though and he stumbled a bit, bit someday... happiness just woke, begging again, time for sleep... maybe i don't sleep because i don't want to kmiss a thing, i mean, the one might show up right?... or maybe it's cuz there is a voice somewhere rattling around in my back or front or side of head saying something like, but what if we die?... yeah, sleep...

we can try, ya know?...

narf :)