coulda been you

from the land of couldabeen :)

missing links

as i drop them into entries
as the days slide passed us now
i wonder how many will never find your eyes
(not to mention your heart and mind)

and rather than believe
they have been a waste of time, somehow,
i shall believe they will be shared someday
(that some day we will find the time for rhyme)

and so i leave them here to be found
cuz that is what makes my world go round

(and then i thought out loud) . . . hmmmm, there is a rhyming pattern in there, however complex or meandering, that inspires my smile as much as the message within the words that form the rhyming pattern if you know what i mean... almost a month and almost as many entries (and links to other entries) as days gone by and what might have been is wistful and whatever will be will be as it's always been (meta-time-ically speaking)...

(and then i shared the day) . . . another long work day without taking a break cuz it was almost time for normal people to go home when i looked at the clock and home just in time to make a sandwich and catch the ncaa women's tournament with jackson and nod off in the chair and wake to find myself here with an entry box waiting for words... so here are the words and now, where is bed? :)

KIT! :)

and so it goes and yes i said it right there at the top in the title it coulda been you this entry was too but instead, it was to someone else who wasn't here either so in the end it was to me and so it goes and so it goes and i am... the only one who knows :)

if you ask why i am smiling, you most likely do not know me well enough to understand my answer and so it may sound absurd, but if you do not understand my silence, you will not understand..... my words . . . my words . . . my words :)

hey blog family

especially the couple or few of you i am not sure how to reach at the moment cuz of movement or numbers changing and time passing and all that life stuff (and the many i haven't been sure of how to reach for years too)... from the places i created and all the places you gave me... a few from here and from other places too... every one of you who have touched my heart, even irl (you know... out there :)

i hope today is a good day in your world... and in the future, yours too...

i miss you :)

cuz there's a day

and a night, of course, cuz they do usually go together, but cuz there's a day in here somewhere, here is another entry...

i am burnt, physically and mentally, though emotionally and spiritually i am just tired due to the overall lack of sense and depth and self-sufficiency in humans in this world which keeps the ethereal (emotional and spiritual, and psychic and intangibles, for that matter) flowing outward as i am a positive in a very negative world, but physically and mentally i am burnt as i am months behind on sleep and years behind on meditative focus to the point that my eyes do not remember (or is that my mind first) a time of pure clarity where the sleepy moisture does no cloud focus (and the eye-aging is real as well, but physical and mental fatigue makes it impossible to tell the difference for the moment and every moment i can remember for months, at least)...

but cuz there's a day, i return here to record the words that present the experience that happened on this day so i can remember if i ever find time to read back and so we can share it, in mean, just in case you wanted to know...

cuz there's a day,
i say YAY! :)

i hope your day was fantastic, and night even better :)

not just every day

but many times a day... that was the pattern here until whenever it stopped and now, the babbler sneaks in to fill the gaps and infect this space with the irreverent humours of the depths of distractions that maintain vigil within the brain between my eays and somehow, keep me balanced like some sick gyroscope that taunts but never fails to keep me going...

at least until the body dies, aye?...

I went somewhere else to start again

to start again
to start again
to start again

to start again
to start again
to start again

to start again
to start again
to start again

to start again
to start again
to start again

to start again
to start again
to start again

and the voice in the wild (is it fear or the quest for truth or some higher power or the challenge of love or the dare of freedom or the curiosity of the child or the cat or the moon) asks how many times must a man walk down or must a writer start a blogging space anew... and why, maybe the real question (what maybe, understate me will you not to distract us from the point, after all), why i start again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again (what?) again...

but who's asking, really?

the game broke

so here i am, back to the words... cuz the game broke, but did the game break cuz i started pigging out this weekend for the first time in months or did i pig out this weekend for the first time in months because i knew the game was breaking or cuz i was tired of the game and missed words and the game breaking was the universe intervening in my hiatus to bring me back here?...

fringe is on...

 

hardly even noticed

the 4th of july, that is... were there fireworks?... star spangled banners?... parties?... did someone throw a teabag? (oh sure, slip a wallop of political sarcasm into the simple serious attempt to catch a bit of thereal in realtime and record it here for you and me and pesterity makes three)... but pass it did, cuz here we are in the future reviewing the seemingly empty past (alas, a past without memories is a lonely empty place... so keep your memories children, keep them well and never let them go because the more memories you can make and hold on to, the fuller your life will be and feel and wonder of wonders, you'll die happy)...

but who wants to die, anyway?...

anyway, be free...

ridiculouso

a virtuoso at the ridiculous, no doubt, but we'll leave it for jk to explain someday and just remark about the fact that i am still awake, foolishly grinning while alternating between sniffling and gagging... a half dozen or so bits of fluff and blood were blown and splattered about the net tonight while i really should have been sleeping... still, the write, the babbler, the peanut gallery, the heart, everything but the body feels wonderful...

sometimes, that's life :)

make yourself feel wonderful tonight too :)