ups and downs

life has been presenting a series of lemons of late and sometimes, i tired of making lemonade, no matter how sweet it comes out... and while i can continue to find humor in everything, i also tire of having to look for it or create it, i mean, sometimes i just want the sweet humor to just be, ya know?...

challenges at work from a director who refuses to cooperate with the program (she's got a goal to be less oppositional, but she's very passive aggressive so she is only succeeding on the surface)... unfortunately, most people are professionally superficial there, so... challenges continue...

challenges at softball from the male egos who do not team well...
from drama queens who do not team well... from professionals who are fun, but too busy to team well... ah, grown ups just don't team well... that's why there are so few really good teams... lots of talent, but few teams...

challenges at the social community from the human race into which i have never comfortable assimilated... some of the reasons are above, but mostly, the reasons are beyond explanation in common language, incomprehensible and all that... kind of like god...

ah, in the end, challenges are so amusing (if you see things through my eyes)... so i'll just mosey on off as i do every day (and night), singing softly to myself, whatever i am doing, and laughing at the futility of the challenges... while i may tire of doing it, i still prefer sweet humor to sour or bitter or frustrating challenges, so i'd rather be tired and happy than not tired and sour or bitter or frustrated... so never mind, aye?...

hope your day was amusing too :)

fruitful awakening

though sleep could have easily lasted longer if the phone did not ring, i find myself spouting out purposeful babble and random nonsense this morning at many unknown locals in the new web world (so designated by the demise of the written gardens at the hands of the dastardly att folk, who suck, by the way)... busy day of three softball games tomorrow, so relax today... maybe some laundry and unpacking?... perhaps... fresh air (no times square)...

make this a wonderful weekend...

right on right on

so besides being still awake, bloated by pizza and pasta and ice cream and chocolate and dr pepper cherry, and feeling the stress/strain on the body inside out (including the heart muscle), i started yet another new blog, the thirtieth (approximately) here at blogspot...

scary, no doubt...

feel free to voice your complaints there (nyuk nyuk, narf :)

and then...

i wonder how many times i titled an entry and then with or without ellipses or parenthetic subtitles), but anyway, this came forth from a response to a comment that summed up the day just fine, so it's an entry cuz it's e-thereal...

yes, it's been a long day... up early for work and work work work and mostly wandering around doing as i please (cuz directors cando that, oh so important and all, ya know), but it's still work work work (and fun) and then softball, unfortunately, as the team got knocked out of the playoffs tonight, which is fine on one level as i need a break and this team can be frustrating due to inconsistent committment, effort, skill, balance, and too many players) and also has another pitcher (my two championship teams don't) and then off to hang with the team while waiting to head to the midnight movie (3-d i-max premiere of avatar (with free passes at universal studios, cool, aye?... it was great, especially for tree-huggers) and then hang a bit more and home to home-made pizza and middle of the night tv cuz twilight zone fit perfectly with the sci-fi arty mood) and now... chocolate cream (or creme) pie... life is good...

i have no intention of going to work today, naa naa :)

and as if this wasn't a wonderful enough day, there, to widden my smile even more, a comment from a dear old friend that inspired a quick catch up of the day that became this entry... isn't life amazing?... fun?... simple?... well, life is something, isn't it?...

whatever it is, enjoy it :)

am i rambling again? (with linkage!)

well, there's the original babbling that i've done ever since i could hold a crayon and scribble words on paper eventually called the written gardens that finally found some public viewing on my website (99.9% words cuz i don't take the time to learn the visual presentation stuff) and then the diaries, journals, and blogs and more blogs started proliferating on the web about twelve years ago and the progression from personal babbling to keep in touch (kit) to the thousands of pages on the first online journal through live journal and early diary land days (or nights, to be more accurate) to the blog spot times that bring us to the present (and so many others still active tangentially growing off the tree of madness that is the writing jones i enjoy so much), this has been a long strange trip and a long and winding road and much fun...

looking back (and around) i realize that i must find time to set up an ftp program and download all of my pages and update most entry pages as they are quite out of date (a few years for some)... but that will takes days, maybe weeks, and there is no such time in this life these days so everything i've ever posted on the net could just disappear one day and much of the babbling and rhymes are not saved anywhere... though there is always the wayback machine that has surprised me with blasts from the past at times, but anyway, this is an aside more to myself than to you even though it does provide you with some useless knowledge and therein ought to qualify as rambling, if not babbling, aye?...

and in the last week or few, after a pause during the summer of this year, it appears that i am feeling the babbler demanding time enough to overcome the demand for sleep (which is usually the case) and all-nighters are brewing and well, i guess the answer to the title question after all that introductory linkage is, hmmmmm, it's a possibility or even, hmmmmm, could be... cuz babbling is much like cartoons and as i believe the immortal words of one of the royal family of toons, bugs, said so well and we all know anything is possible in cartoons...

nyuk, nyuk, narf...

4am pizza

hey, it's either pizza or chocolate or karen carpenter singing need to be in love, so tonight it's pizza... of course this is self-defeating (or is it merely childish rebellion) as i am going to dinner (i think) and a party with a a person of good healthy influence tomorrow night... but the mountain dew with a squirt of pineapple is just so good (oh, the oral people understand, dontcha, even if you don't want to admit it)...

after all, no matter how much i am loving this month's favorite song, a sensuous child does not live by music alone... after all, i don't have a ping pong table or anyone to ping or pong even if i had a table... so pass the pizza and sing me a song piano man... or cute new singer.. and enjoy the night for all the wonders and excitements and sensual pleasures there can be...

how you doin? :)

life is a song

at the risk of repeating myself (risk?... what a silly saying), the song is on repeat in my brain (it happens now and then when a song catches my imagination... and it helps when there's a person or performance or visual or a video that inspires laughter or some other memorable emotion... the more affected the effect {or effected the affect}, the long it lasts and the longest lasting end up in my top hundred or higher of all time, which i'll tell you about one day if you are into music, want to know me, and are too lazy to find it in my web world yourself, nyuk, nyuk), so you might as well get used to it cuz it's playing all around me for the moment...

meanwhile, life goes on... how's yours? :)

actually sleeping

yes, i was actually sleeping at this moment when this moment was this moment, but still it was a bent evening as the call came that the game was rained out just as i was getting out the door (after dressing and putting all the gear on and all that), which saved me a drive, but still was frustrating because it means this season is going to extend into the work softball league season which means i'll have to miss a game or more of one or the other league... it rains more on thursdays than on any other day of the week...

so i took off all the softball stuff and sat back and nodded off and woke somewhere around this time (this moment, when this moment was this moment, ya know) evening to head to bed... wish you were here, or somebody was, cuz nurturing would have been wonderful at this moment when this moment was this moment...

nite nite :)

mr. popular

well, i nodded off and enjoyed a nap while the laundry spun and the tv droned and the world spun around... i think i left the phone in the car and i ought to wander down to it, but on the other hand i sometimes go a whole weekend without a message, but then, i usually get a text message from from someone about softball, so i will motivate myself to stand up... unless i fall back to sleep and then, well, there's the morning (oh how wonderfully lazy i am being today... so restful, absolute self-indulgent rest... this is so rare in the past year and a half that it is a very special treat)...

meanwhile, meagan said hey... a friendster comment... i have not been at friendster in years, but meagan said hey... i have no idea who meagan is, but she appears to want attention for her cleavage, breasts, and body (based on her profile photos)... i've got a feeling the hey was spam from friendster cuz meagan is a newbie there and my profile is relatively blank and inactive for years, so i have no idea why anyone would say hey... but hey, i'm mr. popular anyway (ah, the title makes sense now, aye? :)

apparently i have a friendster account and profile i forgot creating a while back... i mean, i get comments and friend requests and (positive comments all the time at myspace, but i have a lot of info there... the surprise was due to the fact that i am never at friendster and there's nothing on my profile or account to introduce me at all... so meagan joined a couple of weeks ago and said hey to a blank profile... obviously i must have amazing ethereal powers of attraction... and surely sarcasm and self-mockery will follow me all the days of my web life... hope you are enjoying your saturday too :)

skipping right along

the dishes are done and in the dishwasher (though clean, they've got to dry somewhere and i like to hot water blast them when i have a full load in there) and i am showered and shaved and not stinky (hopefully, not having an intimate partner, i only have my own nose to go by and human noses can be deceptively selective in catching scents that are always around, ya know)... and life is good this morning (even if it is more rushed than i'd prefer, but then, that is part of the price paid for being a responsible citizen in this modern human world... i'll nap on the plane and relax at the hotel, ah yes, reservations later... and rental car... and clean out mine so it's not a target at the airport parking garage)...

if i keep writing it, it will get done (or some baseball players might come out of the cornfield and if they are willing to slow it down and play softball, we'll have a fun game)... i hope you make today exciting and fun no matter how rushed with work or other life responsibilities you might be... and if you have an intimate partner or best friend to love, please remember to give them all the love you can give every day of your life for as long as you live (and clumb every mountain, too)... and if you are enjoying being alone, enjoy it all the more...

it's a beautiful day :)

frying brain cells

beer, sleep deprivation, softball, so much to do (fun and life chores and work) and wondering how many brain cells i fried this weekend so far... i'll catch up some more when i am more awake... too much to do, must prioritize... too sleepy... maybe a nap... what must be done before the nap... reservations, laptop... too late for laptop?... i think so... in the morning?... is there time?... dangit, bzzzzft! :)

sunday softball

slept like the dead, so so speak, and with the cat curled up against my chest so i was breathing on it's head (the cat chose the position, i was mostly sleeping)... and now it is off to softball, again, and since wednesday night i have slept about ten hours... this will be an interesting practice... wish you were here... i mean, if you wanted to keep up, that is :)

off to work again

an busy on-call weekend must be squeezed in between parties, so brief good morning and hope you are having fun too... keeping it touch, you know, that is why...

one season ends, another begins

we were close, a base hit here, a few less errors there, a little more balance in the lineup and we would be the champions, after winning our 6:30pm and 7:30pm playoff games, we lost the 8:30pm championship game in the cold night air 10-6... the bats faded, including mine, as i went 2 for 3 in the last game (my only out of the night)... and next thursday we start all over again :)

dinner at the wing house after the game, and now, a few moments to relax before napping before heading back to work to try to get several more days work done in one as today was one of those non-stop what's next? kind of days as i prepare for being away from the office next week... and tomorrow night is big game night... when to squeeze in cleaning, laundry, buying the laptop, and whatever happened to the gym... i did a lot of running the bases tonight, but it's not the same... time, where art thou, silly friend, if it was not so much fun to dance through each moment, i might fret over the shrinking hourglass... especially while waiting for the deepest sharing of all to begin (see the why... link just added?... did i really have to explain (e)thereal?... the dream of sharing (love) is still the only dream i know (thank you john)...

i hope your day was as challenging and productive and i hope your evening was as exciting and fun and i hope your night is one long embrace...

nite nite :)

sleep bouncing

now while the vast majority of you might consider the title to have something to do with somnambulatory fantasies (somnambulation?... oh my!), i slept wonderfully even with waking to re-cover myself cuz the windows were open and a new brrrrrr-eeze blew through the place last night... waking early for the gym just wasn't in the cards cuz curling up and staying warm was just too much fun...

and now, it's time to head downtown to the samh diwg meeting (a bunch of old geeks and nerds gathering to discuss numbers and such) and then, maybe... clean the place?... it is getting a bit ragged what with clothes kind dripping from boxes everywhere as the unpacking continues and i hunt for winter clothes... hey, a few 40 degree mornings are cold enough (even if i nyuk)...

i hope you are feeling exhilarated and cheery and make today wonderful in your world :)

where does the time go, dangit?

must wake in four hours to shower and dry off (it's cold outside) and dress and drive to the softball tournament (so much for getting enough sleep, dangit) and i got home around 10pm and re-laced part of my softball glove cuz it's old and falls apart now and then and then updated behind the candoor and realtime too, and checked out some other stuff and found myself nodding off just a moment ago so i'm off to bed and la la land and will attempt to blog later and should have bought the laptop dangit...

nite nite :)

so much for sleeping in

yeah, awake again and heading to work cuz i am such a conscientious professional, la dee dahhh... there's simply too much to do to continue taking days off as long as i don't have a computer to do the work at home... so hi ho, hi ho...

i intend to leave early, like noon-ish early, if all goes well and there are no new issues to investigate or fires to put out... and maybe nap as there's softball practice tonight and the tournament all day tomorrow and sunday (the team responded poorly to day-before game practices last time, hopefully they will get sleep and be ready to play the whole tourney this time)... cuz we all care, we just learn to care less as we rush from thing to thing and do not have time to invest our whole heart/soul selves into each (though behind the candoor and a few other places saw words and stuff uploaded last night, for those who choose to)... silly modern world...

and how is your busy life?...

what night?

well, almost two hours ago i got home thinking that i got out of work early (for me) and maybe i can eat and digest and get to the gym and still get some sleep, but little did i know rasputin was not hearing his computer since the seventeen hour marathon repair and reformmating i did ages ago (it's mentioned somewhere in these entries... or those)... so we walked through a dozenty seven different steps on the phone and finally i thought, hmmmm, maybe dell makes their sound driver proprietary and that's why windows can't find it... sure enough, we found the driver on the dell site and now, raspy can hear his computer again... he isn't going deaf after all...

my soup, meanwhile, waited in the microwave for the whole conversation... so the shrimp kinda shrunk more than intended, but it's still a pretty good smoked lobster bisque with shrimp and onions soup cuz i like it... i think the secret ingredients, spaghettios, parm and romano cheese, ketchup, and french fried onions might have done the trick... mmmmmm, lobster bisque... why you looking at me funny?...

and now, belly full and less frustrated about deciding to go into work in the morning (and monday morning) instead of taking the days off completely as planned cuz there's stuff nobody else will do that really needs to get done... i'll just get paid for the days and leave early then... and harp on getting the laptop even more... nyuk...

so that's my day and evening and how about you? (i ask because i care and i'll just keep asking cuz the day i forget will probably be the day you respond... narf :}

within twelve hours

yes, i made it home within twelve hours and if i had eaten lunch i might have made it back to the gym within twelve hours too, but i decided food would be wiser given i've been awake for sixteen hours and have not eater yet... perhaps i will not pass out and go later or... perhaps i will wake early again and go in the morning...

so once again i was distracted from my plan to get my work done by yet another investigation learning opportunity... several hours of reviewing video and detailing what could have been done better and what we would have been cited on had the incident been investigated by an outside agency later, i got a little of PI reports done... and the person I replaced showed up today cuz she's going to a training in miami cuz she's working for our corp cuz i sent her news of a job in her area and she's got maybe one tenth the workload and is making at least ten grand a year more than i am... up north, where it's cold, but they pay realistic salaries... she's a nice person so i was happy to help, but it does leave me wondering how long i'll remain... i'll be seeing her again cuz we're both heading up to franklin, tn (just outside of nashville) for more time-wasting training in stuff i do already... and they wonder why i don't get to straighten up my office... life is good, for some even better :)

and how was your day?...

home earlier than expected

for what few expectations i have... but i decided not to push for late night fun with anyone tonight because i have lots of softball tomorrow and did not want another all-nighter to start as it did last night... it was an interesting show, oy vey, the musical... i felt like i was at a senior citizens center watching the locals perform... actually, that is sort of what i was doing... i thought the maitland civic center was an actual auditorium, but it was a much more all-purpose room and we were sitting on hard metal folding chairs watching amateur actors remind me of why i moved away from new york and the family that adopted me... everyone should have a little jewish experience in their lives, but just a little :)

afterward, a group of us went out to olive garden for coffee and dessert and chatter and laughs and we had all of the above... live would be so perfectly wonderful if i wasn't a hopelessly hopeful romantic who lives to fall in love :}

it's still pretty wonderful, hope yours is too :)