softball follies, human foibles

while i hit into the double play that ended the game, i did not make the dozen plus errors that gave up the 11 runs the other team got... not one earned run, just error after error on relatively softly hit balls... so we lose a game we not only should have won, but needed to win if we are to qualify for the world series... now the only way we can make it is of we win next week and another team loses... sad, nobody warms up, nobody cares, but they all feel down when they screw up... and then i was asked to fill in for the afternoon team that jackson went back to play with... that's frustrating because i left that team because she didn't want to play sunday afternoons anymore and i didn't want to play on that team without her, but she forgets that... she forgets a lot of things i do for her... anyway, we tied the team that won the championship last year even though we made a lot of errors... the more meaningfully sad thing for me is i sense jackson is forgetting some very important things like how much she depends on me and that is disturbing... it's disrespectful and leaves me feeling very foolish for helping her as much as i do... and frustrates me enough to write about it here which frustrates me even more... denial sucks...

not a good day...