doing it is not just psycho-babble, ya know?

yeah, well, someday my princess will come and we will share a balanced relationship in which we both care and do for each other the way i now do for others cuZ that's what we like to do and i won't be the one giving everything and getting the occasional cheer... if i didn't continue giving as i do, i could forget how to do it like just about every other human i have ever met... that's not the life i want for me, so i continue giving and caring for others (and finding someone who needs taking care of) in order to be me and be ready for the one who understands and does it too... the down side is i am enabling someone to take advantage of me and also continuously draining myself of resources so retirement is out of the question (though i do give myself the luxury of taking years off from the madness of the rat race every now and then, most of the past year)... but i will not shut down and stop being me... stalemate?... whatever we call it, i wouldn't have me any other way... of course it would ne nice if others would change a bit and stop being so selfish and possessive and wasteful, but i am not looking to change anyone... i am hoping to find someone who does not need to change to understand the wonder of sharing everything (and do i repeat myself or what?)...

i have more than a dozen games of ruzzle waiting for me on the phone... great distraction when i want a distraction...

narf :)