is it shiny?

sometimes i try so hard to be cute, amusing, witty, even... am i seen that way?... i would like that... or something like that... i think... anyway, it has been a wild morning and overnight and week and month so far (and last month included) and year and decade and millennium and life so far and this momentary relapse into reflection is mostly limited to my financial decisions which is a miniscule aspect of the ride most of the time but i just got through kinda begging jackson and the world for reassurance and now i am here hoping this outburst is not flaunting my ability to do what i did (it was not wise at all, but it was so very necessary for my psyche and self-respect and a whole lot of other self-stuff cuz it is the first time i did something like this since buying a washer dryer about two years ago and the car about ten years ago and those things were much more necessary purchases) and i will take a breath now...

what?...

i mean i SHOUTED... i can barely remember ever SHOUTING in my blogs unless it was for creative effect (or affect?) and i honestly do not remember doing it... i must be over reacting... at least i did not exclaim... as in ! that is... are we laughing at me yet?... we are seriously depressed if we are not... especially if you moseyed on over to the daily (e)thereal linked above to see what all this clatter (or is it clamor?) is about... or i am deluded in my egocentric and probably redundant self-importance... i thing i need to babble now... once again i am reminded...

it is so much easier to love others when you love yourself :)