and the excitement of connecting with another human again (even though this is not a new falling in love with the hope of the one feeling but rather an old friend with a history of love and hope and nurturing and also beating each other to a pulp at times cuz that's what best friends do too kind of feeling if you know what i mean) has me awake and doing better and feeling (and seeing things) with a renewed optimism and calmness and almost, wonder... and so in a response to a simple wish for a good (or magical, even) day, with the believe someone wants to know for real, i responded and what came out was this (which is what the (e)thereal is all about, after all)...
the day was ok, stupid work drama, ridiculous passive aggressive interference from the director of nursing who is quite uneven and even more uneven narcissist ceo who flips on and off from micro-managing sadist to scared little boy refusing any responsibility by blaming everyone else and finding fault that requires the micro-managing sadist to come back out and fix things that are not wrong which puts everyone on edge and at each others throats... so peace... as the DON is easy to ignore in spite of the risks of having her in that position and the nuisance of her meddling and deliberate undermining inaction simply takes extra time to pass... so i wait her out and life goes on... i really would be happier elsewhere though...
interjecting the thought that if they read this, maybe they will learn something... or retaliate... or both... and it feels really good to realize, to actualize, that i've once again reached the point where the truth is more important than self preservation... and now, back to the response to the simple request to know how my day went...
the evening, on the other hand, was much better... softball win, 9-1, knocked in two runs and scored once (did not hit as well as last night, 1 for 4, but pitched even better than last night... the only run they got was on an error)... then went to the other team i play for on fridays when the first team is not playing and cheered them on as they won... hung out with them a while after the game... drove home feeling wonderful, but lonely, but driving with the window open more aware of my senses than in a long time... especially the smells... first it was burgers... then it was chinese food... then it was a swamp smell... then it was a sweet green smell... then it was a woodsy fire smell... and then, home... hungry but not enough to eat... have a 7:30 wake up to head to a friend's house to help him move... should sleep, but want to share... so i shall write and dream and hope and that inspires a smile :)
kinda magical at that :)
it is good to believe someone cares to know even more than usual, ya know? :)
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