ah, the pathos amuses

i will likely fall asleep early tonight (if work lets me, two calls so far) and do my best to clear my mind cuz there is no point in trying to predict how i will feel tomorrow... hopefully the worst case, a fracture, is not what happened when the ball struck the leg just missing the shin guard... jackson brought me some food, two subs, so i don't have to stand on my feet and cook or prepare food and i can mostly rest until my meeting tomorrow morning, though she was in a hurry so she didn't bring water, ice, and the crutch from the car... i hope not to need the crutch... seriously...

jackson is off on vacation with happiness, dropping happiness off at her parents and then continuing by plane to maine for a few days visiting with friends... then she'll rent a car and load up the stuff she had left up there when she lived there for a short time (you may recall the road trip she and i took through a northeastern blizzard) and then stopping in a few states along the way to see relatives before she comes back next sunday or monday... living alone with a cat for a week will be a new experience... anyway, i'll get my own water and ice and put my own food away, i'm a big boy, after all lol lam... yeah, still laughing, but laughing all alone...

it is a very familiar place, wanting nurturing and being alone... it's where i've been since childhood and i've learned to enjoy the dream of sharing nurturing and even the longing and the loneliness and sighing sadness (alas and all that)... fatigue and pain present additional challenges when there is no time to overcome the fatigue and with a busy serious meeting work day tomorrow sleep is essential tonight so i will not be pushing (or consuming sugars or caffeine) and shall wander off (in my mind) to la la land... the affect (or effect) on the entries uploaded today may be misunderstood, but then, that's the story of this life as i've known it, to be misunderstood...

it is an odd amusement, this life alone... your point of view? (i'd like to know)...

narf :)