not sleeping again

maybe it's the ernie davis story on tv that has me wired or maybe it's just a creeping loneliness that has been sneaking around my psyche all day that has me playing chess and then spades and doing anything i can to distract myself from feeling like sharing and having nobody to share with that has me still awake now when i really should be sleeping because i've got a lot of work to do tomorrow and i am still not ready to take days off the way my boss and others do because i am still setting the example i want my managers to follow and they are doing a great job of following the example of putting in the extra hours and getting the job done that the rest of the staff need to see especially the rest of this month as corporate is doing another survey and they may have messed up by not giving staff access to it so the management ratings may be low because the staff see us as screwing up even though i had little control over the survey (should have checked it if worked)... i take the job too seriously cuz it's what i do and so i am still awake and going to drink even more chocolate milk now and must remember to call the doctor in the morning because they did not renew my prescription for the medication they want me to be on for blood pressure which is even stupider because they are the ones who pushed me back on the medication and the pharmacy is telling me they are not responding to the need for a refill prescription and i am almost out of the drug and that would be bad for the body and the doctor will not be my doctor any more if this continues and that is why i don't trust the medical industry because they just don't care and i am ready to retire again so am i amuse myself with this rush of words and is it wrong to laugh at folly?...

what?...