meanwhile, in the moment

(several hours from now) i wake from what feels like a solid four hours of sleep feeling more awake than i have in some time, yet knowing more sleep would be wise as i have slept in spurts and thin bubbles in recent days, longer even. and the body is experiencing a deep fatigue and the mind, even deeper, is experiencing an energy depression that leaves the thought process and perspective wide open to the perils of emotional depression so... (so?... wow, this ought to be an important moment, like a vital thought, a point of order, an essential thought to which i must pay close attention, aye?)... so... ummmmm... i suppose that i really ought to find out why, the reasons, the root cause(s) of the change in sleep patterns so that i might actually return to the deeper more frequent sleep pattern that this body and mind seem to require more and more with the passage of years in this life... yes, that's it, the ticket to ride of sorts (did jon lovitz ever sing with the beatles?... jack benny channeled?... peter, paul, and mary?... blowing in the wind?... which wind, what wind?... have i sprinkled the seeds of future entries?... i mean, besides narf, after all)...

meanwhile, back in the moment, i appear to be much more awake than logic would suggest i ought to be given the single four hour sleep block i just experienced... and the tv, being on when i fell asleep and therefore still on now, caught my attention transporting thoughts of a bygone time, the early 1960's i believe, in a jack benny program that mentioned a huge diamond engagement ring for sale for $250 and other signs of the changes beyond the monetary inflation that have occurred over the past fifty years, century, even. and listening to the words of bob dylan's blowing in the wind and the canned applause after and the focus on the entertainment value rather than the message and the shallowness of humanity and the...

meanwhile, back in the moment, i decided to start laundry and tidy up a bit... this is a good sign as the past few days have been quite relatively non-existent and provided all the appearances of depressed behavior... which reminds me to thank goodness for softball and friends, even when the game is laden with frustration, selfishness, and laziness... the difference between sunday and last night is a matter of perspective... positivity returns... is it simply due to a solid block of deeper sleep?... so it appears...

not every moment can be the best moment, but it is good to experience a good moment once again...

even as i float in and out...