disappointment

waking up rested and excited about the full day party in the park softball tournament scheduled for today had my hormones soaring and body bouncing with anticipation of new friends and new social circles and most of all, a lot of softball and so i groomed and dressed (high socks, ankle wrap, shin pads, cleats, and so on... it takes 15-20 minutes to dress for softball now that i am not a young pup) and unpacked brand new batting gloves (they are seriously sweet) and remembered to grab the iced waters from the fridge and loaded up the softball bag with all the goodies for a fun day of softball and exercise in the heat and thanked the planet for a beautifully sunny morning and headed out to the fields and drove up the first car there (twenty minutes early) and parked and then...

realized i should not be the only car in the parking lot, even twenty minutes early... i looked at the fields and the outfield and infields were fenced off... i called the guy running the show and left a message... i texted him... i drove to another part of the park and saw cars, thinking i might not know about other softball fields at this park... i got out and walked over to the sign and saw the map showed tennis courts and besketball courts and a mile running trail, but no softball fields at this end of the park... and then the text came...

he said is was sorry, that the guy who runs the fields was supposed to call me and let me know that the tournament was cancelled due to field conditions... too much rain yesterday... i should have know, since i live less than a mile from the fields and it did pour here yesterday and rained a whole lot this week... but i was so excited... i was meeting a whole new social circle of people my age for the first time and outdoors playing softball for a whole day... all logic must have been turned off in the brain...

i texted jackson all pouty and grumping cuz that's what best friends are for, after all... and i drove home and got out of the equipment and clothes (i will air them out so i don't have to wash and hopefully they will be wearable next time i play) and all i want to do is brood and mope and silk and grump and grumble and then the phone went ting and the games jackson and i play told me she played again... wonder if that was last night and it's just coming through or if you woke and got my message and played to let me know she loves me and understands my disappointment...

then the phone froze, so i came here to relate the roller coaster of emotions that i rode in the last hour... i need distraction...

what?...