oh no, where did the will power go?

i can feel it slipping away... for how long?... how far?... will this be the end of the new resurgence of energy and determination and self-discipline and caring about me?... yeah, ok, what i mean is... so sometimes i eat for emotional purposes for the silliest of reasons (like teams losing in professional sports - silly not because it's just a game, but silly because i am not what you would call a fan of any team... i just pick a team during a game or during a series and it's very momentary)... but tonight both the Blackhawks and Spurs won in their championship finals games and those were the teams i picked so that's not the ridiculous excuse... maybe i have no ridiculous excuse for opening a can of macaroni and cheese (yes a can) and putting meatballs on top and then spices and cheese and ketchup (yes ketchup) and microwaving and eating and wtf?...

somehow my hands and mouth completely blindsided me... i was rolling right along eating healthier and more balanced than i had in years and there i went... diving into meatballs and pasta with extra calories dumped on top... i did not finish the bowl of food (which is a good sign as i limited how much the stomach expanded which is something i usually did not do in the past few years...

this abhoration will pass... nothing to see here, suicide failed (so far)...

narf :}