more sleep later

so overtired... but ncaa tournaments are on and my intention this weekend was to relax and enjoy my party watching the ncaa... the best laid plans... but when a child is hurting, ya know?... i don't regret my choices or being who i am, i do wish i knew someone who was like me enough to be compatible in a shared life though... i suppose my personality scares or pushes people away... whatever it is, it's lonely again... i feel like i didn't get to party and pamper myself like i intended this weekend... and while it takes a lot to earn my trust and respect and i do not like a public fuss being made over me, nobody pampers me and it's been a long time since anybody has... i feel drained... all the evergy and caring going out, so little coming from others beyond hit and run kind of taken for granted caring... see, i do need more sleep, the wah wah birds are singing their pathetic songs lam...

ncaa tournament time :}