lonely nights

there's a beegees song called lonely days and if you don't know it, well, that does not mean you have entered (or belong in) the twilight zone nor does it mean i can tell you what every episode is about based on the first visual scene or in some cases, the first ten seconds, but it is the lonely nights that are deeper and more profoundly discombobulating than the days could ever be... even though wandering around in crowds of people interacting over and over and never really knowing anyone or sharing anything beneath the surface can be maddening, the abject silent darkness of the lonely nights is quite amazingly stimulating and stupifying, simultaneously at times...

i so want to do no harm, so want to be a positive light in this world and truly touch others in meaningfully helpful ways and while i wish someone would care enough to look me in the eyes and acknowledge this core aspect of who i am and i whine and even complain at times when people do not know or appreciate me, i know that i do what i do because i am who i am even if no one else ever knows and even if i never have any appreciation or recognition...

but still, late at night, i can still wish for a true friend who knows...

nite nite :)