and the car

and the car, dammit, (i did say sorta, remember?)... the car would not start again so the battery sucks and there must be a short draining the battery which can be very expensive to find but i need to get the car fixed so i stopped on the way home for a portable battery charger and jump starter and walmart did not have a great selection but i bought a 400amp one for $40 and i get home and it doesn't have the owner's manual in it and does not have an extension cord to charge it so i makeshift a cord out of a surge protector and put the charger on the porch to charge because of all the warnings about it getting hot and could cause a fire but it's supposed to be 40 degrees or less tonight (which is why softball sucked cuz the arm needs wormth to rehab right) and the online instructions i found said it might take up to 72 hours to fully charge if it's cold but i need the car so i am frustrated about that too...

luckily jackson's client cancelled this evening and she stayed home so i used her car and didn't have to miss the game and leave the team in the lurch and with softball season starting up (at least 5 games a week), i really need reliable transportation (and eventually i will be going back to work so ditto for that too, right?) like right now so i will check with friends about mechanics and hold my breath hoping it won't cost too much to fix the electrical and cooling systems... a life of poverty is a lot more challenging and stressful than a life of casual luxury, ya know?... well, whether you know or not, it is... i know, i've been through life from both sides now... la la la...

the bottom line is i am loved so yay for jackson and her heart and her generosity and tomorrow i will hope the charger is charged enough to start the car and this week or next i will bite the bullet and get the car checked out... irony or stupidity or just life, i will spend hundreds or more making sure the car runs but will not spend hundreds or more getting the body checked out... and there's illogical logic, or irrational rationale that makes some warped sense to me somewhere behind the decisions to put the car ahead of the body...

sigh... alas... oh... hugs appreciated :)