consistency

so in her usual apparently abstract random way, an old friend (one of the people i am referring to when i reminisce about friends who actually knew me somewhat deep down... i forget what her blog name used to be, so let's call her saga) reconnected today after a few months away and once again i am torn between well, it's about time which reflects the mentally filtered feeling of neglect and ego bruise when someone i know and have actually lived with and slept with and shared life with disappears for extended periods and the yay she's back which reflects the unabashed unconditional love i feel inside and enjoy much more then the slightly more selfish head trip... and i choose the later most of the time (after a bit of a discussion in my head) because she's human, after all, and i do my best not to expect consistency from humans because it's an expectation that invariably leads to disappointment and why set myself up for disappointment when it is my choice...

best of all, she was also a pen pal with a love for sharing words so hope for more sharing of words rises slightly... usually that's a good thing :)

she doesn't visit here much (and i think she uses private browser mode so her visits don't show up cuz her country seldom shows up in the stats), but we've got a private blog where we exchange words... i miss sharing words and have had time in the past months... alas, this free time is coming towards it's end, but it's better to share a little than nothing, for me at least... sleepiness is swamping me now...

nite nite :)