the other blogs

ah, the drama of emo... this should be in the other blogs, the contemplating change blogs on the right, but some more pathetic self-pity won't spoil this one, will it? (eeesh, who would put up with all this crap, really?)... is there always hope?... so the first week of december has me remembering my heart and realizing years of altruism have felt wonderful, but have left me financially drained and emotionally lonely... and the physical world has me challenged with another injury... that's besides the tinnitus and neck pains and... i really am tired of whining and complaining... obviously i am not taking care of myself, giving away too much time, energy, and material...

and who cares?...

happiness cares... especially when he needs to eat or pee or poop or wants petting or just wants a hug... so we took another walk and a bit of a jog and he is on the porch looking for mommy... after a while he goes to her bedroom and whimpers a little... that is what love is... happiness cares... sometimes, i'd like to find a mommy too, after all... ah, the loneliness rises... and the world sleeps, and works, and does it's supposedly civilized dances... and i take care of whomever is near... and i write...

yeah, i care too... what else can i do? :}