and while v for vendetta is a favorite film and it relates to this date and there are other references the title can relate to, i specifically send this happy fifth to my friend far away (who could be a genius online presence if he wanted to be and i keep encouraging him to create the next myspace-facebook phenomenon so we can win friends and influence others and take over the world, to save it, of course)... bringing the babble back to the moment, i cheer your life my z0tl friend and send this message in a bloggle out in the hope that a happy birthday can be made out of whatever stuff is around you today...
know you are loved, respected, and very much appreciated :)
i thanked you in another place, but i thank you again here. know you are a valued friend and i love to read your babble a lot.
ReplyDeletei'm sad to hear you might lose this job you just got. so much suffering, but i guess they say only the pain is inevitable, the suffering is optional.
well, i'm 42 this monday and i haven't figured out the answer to anything yet, so i suffer like a mofo.
the days of genius are gone and i don't see them ever coming back. rot and decay, that's in my future henceforth.
many hugs and wish you the best of luck with your job search. this nightmare has to end somehow soon.
it is good to know you my friend... and i knew that the the job was a short term fill-in position from the start, but was hoping the person hired who is still not giving a precise date that she will start (now some time in december) would somehow change her mind, but this week she apparently re-confirmed she would be coming in december, even though she still did not give a precise date... the difference is she is an RN and i am not and the department does not have an RN and wants one... so i knew the end was coming, i just received more confirmation of it this week...
ReplyDeletethe good news is they want me to stay on the payroll part time, maybe up to three days a week if the board approves the departmental budget... so until i find a full time job, i will have some income and when i do find a full time job, i can still get an extra day or more week... and i will then negotiate working from home as much as possible and if they ok that, i can get more hours... they like what i do, nobody else can do it, so they want to keep me... they just just don't have the budget to hire the Nurse and me full time...
so it's good for the ego to be appreciated and good for the wallet to know there will be some income...
i applied for a job at another hospital already and hope to hear positive news from that one soon... i know i will get a good recommendation from this one...
meanwhile, in your rotting brain, you must realize that i am more than a decade your senior and still spitting madness at the world with massive alacrity (and yes, alacrity can be massive) so you have proof that your next 42 years can be more spectacular than the first 42... all you need to do is decide you are alive in your mind, because you are still in there... i so wish you would...
i sometimes imagine what it would be like to be stephen hawking... to be locked in an immobile body with a mind still aware and eager to learn and share... i imagine how depressing it would be to have to give up on the physical life, the physical love, and actually interacting with the physical world... and then i realize i would somehow accept and use my love of words and writing to create a world in words... i hope to never have to prove this to myself, but i am happy in my world of words even though i lament missing other sharing...
you should consider this... even if it leads to nothing more than a boring unsatisfying literary exercise, it's something to do and it just may lead to some stimulating of your brain...
genius is never gone, no matter how buried it seems...
believe me, even if you don't believe yourself...